ITT we talk about fears and failures, in any shape or form:
>going to tell my parents I failed college in a week
>this is the 3rd time
>last time mom fainted and cried for a day
>will guaranteed get kicked out
>few hundred euros in bank
>no skills except beginner programming
>can't talk to people for shit
>no clue how anything works in the real world
Tbqh I feel like if I had a passion, I wouldn't care where I lived, even if it was in some cheap ghetto while working a minimum wage job. The problem is that I have nothing going for me in life so my mind is occupied 24/7 with negative thoughts, and the idea of moving from this comfy house and living in a shithole makes me suicidally afraid.
What do?
OP, what country do you live in? Somewhere in Europe I assume?
>>29594659
Yes hence the euros. Can't say what country though.Paranoid as fuck.
>>29594693
Doesn't most European counties have some sort of social welfare?
>not getting a job
>being a virgin after 30
>killing or maiming someone
>getting sent back to the mental hospital
>women
>authority
I'll be 27 when I finish my BS.
>>29594551
>failed college
What do you mean? I failed four classes and withdrew from four, and only got my AS because I was permitted to replace a speech with Interpersonal Relations (doctors note). Took me three years and a summer for my AS, and I started with some AP credits. My AS was still free because community college is cheap, and uni had to accept the classes because it was part of the SUNY system (a NY thing).
Absolute biggest fear: losing my fingers or hands
Spent my life learning instruments and shit I wouldn't be able to bear not playing them.
Also le ebin generic dying alone fear
>>>>29594767
Are you suggesting I should become a leech? I mean I already am, but at least I leech off people who forced me into this world. Even so, I hate myself every day for living with my parents for free, but I'm such a lazy fuck and it's all too late now.
>>29594852
>What do you mean?
I failed enough classes that I would practically have to redo the whole year + leftover classes from previous years.
>>29595029
>dying alone fear
This, but even being alone in a city where I know no one is already frightening enough.
>>29595138
There is nothing wrong with leeching of the government in this shitty society. The governments of Europe are so fucking disgusting that it's only right to suck out every last penny you can.
>die a virgin
hard mode: i'm a faggot in a country where faggots get beheaded
>>29594551
age? military might be the best option you could ever make. Sure it will be scary, but it will seriously teach you how to be grown up.
>>29595474
Sudan or Saudi-Arabia?
>>29594551
how do you fail college 3 times? just quit the engineering degree and do something else pham
>>29595708
no, USA
walking anywhere after dark, it wont even be that late and I'll get scared of every little shadows movement because I'm afraid someone will jump out and try to rape me.
>>29595995
>hard mode: i'm a faggot in a country where faggots get beheaded
Was that hypothetical?
>>29595986
>pretty much guessed my field
I guess the failing engineer is not just a meme, huh?
Also because I'm lethergic the entire day. Bored, irritated, and no motivation. Even dropped all my friends because I couldn't bother hanging with them. How will I save myself like this?
>>29595138
>but at least I leech off people who forced me into this world
Idiot. It's better to leech of society than your parents. Burdening your parents won't help you, and society will still be there to support you when your parents are gone.
>>29594551
>I feel like if I had a passion
>The problem is that I have nothing going for me in life
You're not alone. I started college just because "I was supposed to" and shit like that. But I can't find interest/pleasure in anything at all. I study and do things because letting people down scares the shit out of me, so I just pretend that I'm doing all right, and try to look as normal as possible, trying to fit what people belive I am.
I don't know how long it will last.
Both thinking that I'll have to tell the truth on who I am sooner or later, or either live all my life like this makes me quiver.
The empasse is real, Be strong Op.
>>29594551
same boat op ):
laksndn
>>29594551
my biggest fear is reaching a point where i dont feel anything or dying inside i guess? life has been fine so far and i don't want it to go bad so drastically that i force myself to stop feeling emotions anymore. my parents put a big emphasis (and still do) on talking about your feelings and being emotionally intimate that i'm terrified of not being able to experience that for some reason.
then there's the typical dying alone/not finding something im passionate about/losing body parts etc etc.
i really hope things get better for you op.
>>29596799
Man you feel me. I've been doing shit because I was supposed to, all my life. At least I loved TV, reading, and vidya when I was a kid though. Now that I don't like those things as much anymore, there isn't anything positive in my life, which makes college (aka the chore of chores) impossible to do. I think normies can do this shit easily because they go out, have fun, partake in hobbies, etc. I don't think many people actually like college all on its own.
>>29598100
Depends. I know a robot who's into the thing he's studying, because he has a real burning passion for what he's doing.
Yet I have to find something that I'm passionate with.
It's years that i'm faking the "Yeah, I like computer science, I'm so good with computers" kind of thing. But it's more like because I browse the internet all the day, and peoples have always thought that I was that "nerdy" type of dude.
I mean, It's not like I don't care at all, But I'm not really doing that because I want. It's like it just happened to me. And it's my fault, I know that, I shouln't complain that much, but it's kinda the thing that keeps me awake the night.
We should seek for help. Yet, personally, I don't want anyone to know that because If anyone was to find out I would probably disappoint alot of peoples (from parents to friends who didn't noticed anything).
I guess acting cool and dandy is one way.
Again, where the "restart" button was?
>>29598701
Holy fucking shit you're like 95% me.
>It's years that i'm faking the "Yeah, I like computer science, I'm so good with computers" kind of thing.
Software Engineering student here, but small difference.
>But it's more like because I browse the internet all the day
Same. I can't stand writing college/work code. I like it as a hobby in moderation though.
>and peoples have always thought that I was that "nerdy" type of dude.
Story of my life.
>I mean, It's not like I don't care at all, But I'm not really doing that because I want. It's like it just happened to me.
Yeah exactly. I finished high school and my parents were like "okay college time" and I just went with it. I really desperately wanted a year off but I didn't do it. Had I done it, I probably wouldn't have picked anything like this.
>And it's my fault, I know that, I shouln't complain that much, but it's kinda the thing that keeps me awake the night.
God damn dude, I can't emphasize how much I know this feel. I haven't slept comfortably in over 2 years, and I'm not even an insomniac. It's just all this paranoia about the future and my life goals. What can a person even do.
>We should seek for help. Yet, personally, I don't want anyone to know that because If anyone was to find out I would probably disappoint alot of peoples (from parents to friends who didn't noticed anything).
No one besides people ITT even know that I feel this way about my education. Everyone looks at me and thinks I'm passionate about sifting through and writing requirement documents all day, and then coding some shitty software for the gajillionth time.
>I guess acting cool and dandy is one way.
I wish I hadn't. I wish I had stopped when I wasn't in too much debt, and my parents wouldn't mind too much. Now it's really too late and I'm supposed to have a job already.
>Again, where the "restart" button was?
If only.
>>29596749
No it isn't. Parents brought me into this world so I feel no sympathy for them. Taxpayers are actually trying to create a better society by giving away a large chunk of their income, yet I should take it because I'm "lazy"? Nah.
>>29594551
Why do you feel bad about being stupid? It's not your fault.
>>29600393
Not stupid just lazy.
>inb4 le smart but lazy maymay
Just average intelligence but yeah, basically.
>>29600446
Not your fault either. Did you choose to be lazy?Free will isn't real.
>>29600461
Maybe... yes. This situation didn't just happen out of the blue.
bumping thread before going to sleep
pls more replies
>>29599623
Anonbro...
> I really desperately wanted a year off but I didn't do it.
I was scared by the fact that if i was going to take an year off, It wasn't going to change anything. It's not like I'm going to develop a burning passion for something in 360 days or so, especially if everything I do it's browsing the internet. My parent's were not that pushy too. But taking a break was probably ending up into being the final NEET. Once you start holydays, you never stop.
>No one besides people ITT even know that I feel this way about my education.
It's not only education. I would Hate to see the face of my parents, or of my fiends as I tell them stuff like: "yeah, I would enjoy being a gal"
But I don't want to go all tumblr shit on that topic, I hate that.
It's not even a matter of acceptation, I'm pretty sure all the few people I know would still love me regardless, I hope. It's probably the: "why didn't you told that before? Didn't you trust us?" Disappointment that I would cause that's holding me back.
I Couln't live as Op's living. Having my mother cry and faint because of my "being a total loser" is a sheer quiver making nightmare fuel.
>I haven't slept comfortably in over 2 years, and I'm not even an insomniac. It's just all this paranoia about the future and my life goals. What can a person even do.
Eh... Sleep chems? Alchool? (Even if I'm to afraid of drinking/taking drugs. I feel like I could crack open in tears like a friend of mine did a year ago)
>I wish I hadn't. I wish I had stopped when I wasn't in too much debt, and my parents wouldn't mind too much. Now it's really too late and I'm supposed to have a job already.
How do people have enoght backbone to do that?
Some bad failures.
>having the emotional maturity of a 12 year old and causing drama unintentionally
>losing friends because of this
>spend several years friendless and depressed
>can't even finish high school because i'm so lonely
I had a bad fear of being alone back then, but now it doesn't bother me too much. I'm alone most of the time but my mom texts me every now and then which is cool.
Looking back then, I feel incredibly stupid for making such a big deal about a social outcast and being alone.
