>coworkers found out I'm a 25 yo virgin
they probably knew it before
women can smell virginity
how did they find out pham?
>>29592188
this
women can sense alpha.
when i fuck prostitues for a 24 hour window I give off a completely different vibe
>>29592165
How?
This worries me also...
>>29592188
Pretty much this. One girl smelt rape in victum me too.
>>29592165
same here man they found out im a 25 year old virgin they always me "are you a virgin?" but I always tried to deny it,but they still know,I guess I give off the virgin vibes
>he laughs like a virgin
asdasdasd
>>29592339
If you have to pay for sex, you are not alpha. Thats gamma
>>29592489
Nobody asks you if you are a virgin unless you make it way to obvious that people just have to know at this point. It's considered bad etiquette to just straight up ask. The only way i see people asking is if you are seeing some fedora or atheist shit, are way too open about autistic activities like anime and video games, act like a man child, or just sperg out when out on the spot.
>>29592339
Yep, I lost my virginity to an escort and after that night it changed my whole life completely. I acted more alpha around women, I was less afraid of them, and I realized my place over them.
I felt like I had figured out there whole secret and reason to being on a pedestal, and now that I finally got it, I could care less about them. It was awesome.
I just wish there was a workplace where they fired people who talk about their personal lives. There's no place for it in any business, it's just normalfag entitlement over working and boredom.
>>29592201
>how did they find out pham?
My existence
>>29592565
You get promotions based on how well connected you are at your work, and those connections are made by socialising. Just because you're an asspie doesn't mean networking should be banned.
>>29592546
>Nobody asks you if you are a virgin unless you make it way to obvious that people just have to know at this point.
Kinda this. A dude who was attempting to be kind towards me back in HighSchool pretty much inferred from my autisticness that I had never been inside of a woman.
>tfw he was a psuedo-kind normie with a cute short gf
just fuck my life up famillio
>>29592165
>having a job
fucking normal fag
>>29592339
>>29592559
What, if, assuming that i lost my virgin to my sister. Am i still alpha?
>>29592590
>Networking
>Cronyism
Pick both. Earning a living shouldn't be dependent on "muh feels", but it is.
>>29592638
as long as you stick your schlong in a hole my dude
>>29592565
>>29592729
it sucks but the fact is the workplace is where you are going to spend most of your adult life, and your coworkers are who you are going to be spending most of your time on this earth with
>>29592165
Assuming this isn't bait.
How exactly did they find out?
You don't have the "virgin walk" do you?
(Virgin walk is slightly hunched shoulders, looking around sheepishly sometimes, non-relaxed gait almost robotic)
>>29592771
It's still disgusting that they expect attention, entertainment, validation, and, here's the kicker, respect, in the workplace. I can compartmentalize my personal life from my work life, so I will remain disgusted by those who can't or won't.
for some reason people think I have lots of sex even though I'm kv
>>29592771
Work life is just like being in high school except that now you get paid and people are nicer/more mature (sometimes).
>>29592815
It happened Sat night when I went out with some people from work for drinks. I'm not a big drinker at all so after only like 3 beers I was pretty candid. They asked why I was always single and kept prodding and out it came.
Now I'm basically a living meme at work. At lunch today someone ordered an "Anon margarita." Left after that didn't go back. Fuck my life.
now it's time to start acting mentally unstable/dangerous or else they will start to bully you.
>>29592889
Go report them for sexual harassment. HR loves that shit.
>>29592971
only if you are a woman
>>29592971
I'd basically be up against the entire office; it'd be less of a headache for them just to make up some excuse to fire me
>>29592889
That's hilarious
Original
>>29593010
If you're going to quit anyway, might as well make it as difficult as possible for the people harassing you. Use the fact that you walked out during lunch as evidence of the negative impact the harassment is having on you.
why do girls at work come up and make small talk about non-work related things? i just want to finish my tasks for the day and go home.
>>29592889
>>29592165
At first I was gonna suggest that you take the banter in stride and banter at them back and play along or something, but then it hit me that in our society there are very little banter points as great as a male still being a virgin past 18-20.
Fuck man, I feel just as trapped as you do right now.
>>29592889
>>29592924
This, start stalking them, show yourself at random places and stare menacingly at them.
Do something unexpected sometimes so it doesn't get stale, maybe run up and steal their car keys, hats, etc. Push them on the train tracks when there are no trains inbound, harmless but scary things like that
Make them pay
>>29592815
>virgin walk
This cant be true. This is bullshit right?
>>29593072
Women still don't understand work ethic. It makes sense, they haven't been involved in work for very long. As such, they expect it to be kind of like school, where they can talk all day in the physical confines of their obligation.
Bonus points for when you ignore them and they start shit-talking you to the other coworkers.
>>29593106
@1:43
https://youtu.be/kzIy6n5mPMQ?t=1m42s
>>29593084
I honestly don't know what to do other than quit, uproot, and try again elsewhere.
And you are right about the banter. I could go tit for tat with anyone throwing shade, but at the end the virgin card trumps it all. I could just take it like a little bitch or play along with and and become the office jester. Lose/Lose if I ever saw one.
I guess that's what I get for actually trying to socialize and bond with my coworkers for once.
>>29593106
like >>29592188 and >>29592339 have suggested, people can "read" you by things such as how you walk. A less confident/normal way of walking probably means social ineptitude which heightens the chances of that person being a virgin.
Like >>29592559 stated, men who have sex have an aura of confidence around them.
>>29593106
You're being bullshat, friendo
this is stupid as fuck op. i am on uni, and no one on uni knows i am a virgin or at least do not ask about it.
only people from my home town know i am a massive sperg.
get a grip mate, ask why they are making fun of you and ask why they put soo much value on sex.
>>29592815
Oh fuck. This is almost exactly how I walk.
Can I just end it now?
>>29593106
Pretty much BS, if you walk like that, you might just be really uncomfortable in whatever situation you're in... usually after you get laid you're more confident, and to get laid you need to be confident, so if you're acting unusually nervous, it's a good sign you haven't had sex at least in a while. Best case scenario you're in a relationship but you're, how you say, a bitch.
op, they already know that you are a virgin so the only thing that is left is for you to own up to that shit. in a self deprecating manner, just don't go overboard on that shit 'cause that's also beta as phuck my bro
>>29593211
>WOOOOOOOOOOOW dude calm down man we're just joking around ahaha
Its cuz they found out and you were too young OP. Once you get to say...30-35 then they'll just be scared of you.
t. Wizard
>>29593137
>As such, they expect it to be kind of like school, where they can talk all day in the physical confines of their obligation.
Bonus points for when you ignore them and they start shit-talking you to the other coworkers.
This is true. My mom used to work in a factory where she folding papper and shit, boring fucking as job but less labor. The workers in there are 80% women. Some days, she would come home and cries to me about the female group co-worker in there would talk shit about her. I guess we are new to the city and her co-worker would establish some kind of female rank in their little group and would pick one person in there to shit talk to.
>>29592889
If you have a problem with this then just ignore them every time communication isn't necessary.
>>29593189
you are so retarded
holy shit
Actually nevermind this whole thread is retarded
>>29592666
not on your pathetic life, boyo
>>29593337
Feel free to go ahead and not shitpost
Goddamn it, OP.
You should of lied and said that you are still reeling from a really bad breakup. If they had pushed further you could of said, "It was really rough. I don't want to talk about it." Sure, you might have been perceived as beta scum for being so shaken from a past relationship, but in the normie world even beta scum is seen with more respect than a 20+ virgin.
>>29593410
>giving a shit about normie respect
>>29593443
good luck with your professional life, assuming you aren't content to be a code monkey til you die
>Female co worker
>"Omg anon, im so sorry i didnt know you were a virgin"
>"Thats ok stacy, im not worried about it, There are dogs out there right now getting human vagina while i remain a virgin"
>She laughs
>get new job
>on one of my first days have to drive to the bank
>qt 3.14 coworker wants to show me where
>I drive
>while driving she asks me a shitton of questions
>start off with "do you live alone?"
>I said "nope, still with my parents" (I was 24 at the point)
>asks me if I have a gf
>say "no"
>starts asking me about prior relationships
>told her I never had any
>silence for the rest of the ride
>>29593443
>implying I'm suggesting this to solely please the normalshits
I only care about normies when it directly affects my comfort. Other than that I couldn't give less of a shit.
OP told the truth and now he will be miserable for the rest of his time there. If he had just lied then he wouldn't have to deal with all that bullshit.
>act chad
>everyone assumes ive fucked several women
>they all ask who my current girlfriend is
>just say some random girls name
>they ask when they can meet her
>say never and just stop talking
its so easy to fake being a chad its almost laughable that you guys allow yourselves to be the 'muh virgin' meme
>>29592862
I'm so glad you're not my coworker, you sound like a bitter douchebag
>>29592771
And you have the power to leave and find a better job if need be. I'm not going to work with shit people if I can avoid it.
>>29592165
I'm 27, and have a plan to tell my coworkers im asexual if they ever ask into my past relationships and if im a virgin.
I dont want to date anyone from my work and it wont affect any potential gf
>>29593796
Assessing your social and financial worth. Women do this. I try my best to give them as little information as possible when this happens.
>>29592889
>At lunch today someone ordered an "Anon margarita."
This is just too good to be true, are you bullshitting us? Anyhow I just lost my v card a few months short of wizard status (not a escort). If I could do it you can too.
>>29593621
I wish I could reach your level of not giving a fuck.
>>29594016
I'm 27 too and they already know. It's been hell since then.
>>29594040
Thanks for the tip.
But what do you do when they insist and keep asking trying to dig in deeper?
Are you all really so insecure you think anyone cares that your a virgin? Nobody even asks unless they're idiots or you act like an autist. I've been asked once by some dumbass and I just said I'm a virgin. Literally nobody gave a shit. I even dated one of the girls who heard it afterwards.
Stop worrying over nothing, insecurity shows, not your fucking virginity.
>>29592165
So what? Are you some kind of fuckin normie?
>>29594087
it got close one time, when a female coworker asked me wether or not i had a girlfriend. I said no and she was genuinely surprised. I could tell she was about to ask into prior relationships but someone interruped and the chatter simply moved to a new topic.
>>29594100
Tell them you don't like talking about your personal life and they'll eventually stop
>>29593621
If every virgin acted like this, there would be no virgins.
Just reply to every virgin joke they make with "oh" and an emotionless face.
>Hey I just drank an anon margarita hehehe
>oh
>Hey anon did you know you're a virgin hehehe
>oh
>Gosh I can't stand anon. I'll just leave him alone.
And just like that, you get them to fuck off
>>29594100
Usually they give up and Lise interest if you offer vague/short answers. Never explain yourself.
>cousin sitting with his gf
>he mentions a normie mainstream meme joke to me
>I dont get it
>"oh, right, its because youre a virgin"
>awkward silence and dust settles
fuck him and fuck the normies
>>29592666
depends, was it incest ow wincest?
I really really hate to say this, but this is coming from a guy that lost his virginty super late, trust me, they know. Every single co worker you have knows and has known for a long time now. The thing about work is you see the same people every day and you pretty much get to know them by default. Male virgins are not hard to spot at all by people that fuck regularly. I'm honestly sorry man, but people knowing you're a virgin isn't the end of the world. Just trust me, all of you 20+ virgins that work, your co workers know. And they talk about it behind your back. I've seen it first hand and I've been through it.
>>29592559
How do I find an escort that is clean?
>>29595064
maybe you can be like those czech guys who go up to whatever girl they want and offer them like 10 thousand dollars
>>29595058
27 years old virgin here.
Can confirm that what this anon said is accurate.
Also, try to give no fucks and things will improve.
>>29594954
That's when you pull a knife on them and stare in their eyes until they say sorry.
>>29595058
What if you're not a virgin but you haven't fucked in a long time?
>>29595296
Those are rare cases. The thing about sex is its a gigantic confidence boost, especially if you're fucking an attractive girl. Once you've fucked one attractive girl you can pretty much fuck them all that look close to as good as she does, the confidence you get from this shines in your daily life.
You still there OP?
Original coment.
I'm going to Chicago in a couple of months, and I plan on making a Tinder profile and just flat out stating that I'm a virgin on it. My friend who lives up there says that I'll probably get at least one oddball who just wants to take it.
I just hope that oddball is cute. I just want a girl who thinks I'm totes kawaii for being this pathetic.
OP, how bad is it, really? If they're just ribbing you, I'd say just smile a bit and act generally pathetic. They'll start to feel sorry for you and maybe even hook you up with someone or help you out in some way.
If they're being genuine dicks then I'd just ask them if they could stop it, or maybe just start crying, sometimes people will realize they've crossed the line when they didn't understand before.
If all else fails, you have two options: Either quit and find other work, or stop giving a fuck. Completely ignore them or some shit. Read The Ego and Its Own. Understand that by allowing them to have power over your emotions, you are serving them. You should be the highest, not them. This is very difficult to pull off, though, and requires a lot of practice. When they make you feel bad, think about it. Think about your own feelings, examine it, ask yourself why you are allowing another person to alter your brain chemistry when you don't want them to. You don't want to be sad, do you? They should be your property, not the other way around. Good luck.
>>29595358
>Those are rare cases.
But it's exactly my case.
Maybe it's because I moved countries in a really small place where everyone hates me but I haven't fucked in ages. I might pay for it though. My confidence is deteriorating.
>>29595264
he already jokes about me being psycho and said im the dude from full metal jacket but he is chad so he honestly thinks hes superior to me
>>29594147
This. I openly tell people I'm a virgin if it comes up, I used to care but it just doesn't matter now. I could probably have sex and have gf but I lack the trust required for that, it may help that I am not ugly nor am I weak and pathetic but people don't make fun of me for it like I used to think they would.
>>29595571
Show the faggot that you are psycho for real. They'll make him shut up and it will also make him subconsciously stop seeing you as inferior. Instead he will fear you.
>>29595578
well yeah, who wants to rile up a virgin? that's just asking for a shootout
>>29595429
lol the "oddball" will be a middle-aged gay guy who's into boipussy
>>29595601
>They'll make him
That will*
>>29595058
Why? Why do they do this?
I've always tried to keep my head down and be courteous to everyone.
I even have a coworker who is illiterate, I have never mentioned it, talked about it or talk shit about it to anyone behind his back.
Why do people care so much about virginity? If they're having sex then why do they care so much that we don't?
Aren't normies supposed to have more sympathy and empathy than people like us? They're not emotionally stunted.
I don't understand.
>>29595637
I'll just run away.
>>29595601
I stopped talking to him a while ago and if I showed him psycho he probably would stop having me over, he was a real ass hole.
He was the ultimate chad and its true women do naturally just gravitate to them.
>co-workers
There's your problem.
Happened to me at my first job when I was around 21. It sucked, I was constantly berated and treated like a child. Eventually I had enough and walked out in the middle of a shift. I can only imagine it would be worse in your later 20s.
I swore I would never "relax" at a job again and open myself up to my coworkers. Now at a job I'm always the autistic mute who eats lunch in his car and is the last to show up and the first to leave. Insulting someone for virginity is terrible because that is something you literally have 100% no control of unless you rape a woman. Its like laughing at a guy who was born without legs.
>>29595725
Pretty much everyone has fairly regular sex. The fact that someone doesn't makes them incredibly suspect. It's literally a biological defect past a certain age.
>>29595725
>They're not emotionally stunted.
Which leaves them free to be cruel. Many people never advance beyond putting others down in order to push themselves up, whether in their own eyes or the eyes of an in-group.
>>29592889
Why don't you just tell them you feel uncomfortable with the jokes?
>>29595990
Holy shit, its like you want to be made fun of
>>29595990
because no one cares what the little baby virgin says or thinks
>>29595990
DUUUUUDE IT'S JUST BANTZ xDD
>>29592165
.>Grandpa found the penis shoes
oops, i thought it was going to be one of these threads.
>>29596027
>>29596040
1. If they continue, it probably counts as harassment (which HR could handle)
2. They're more likely to avoid him entirely than continue
>>29596201
lol
You have no idea what robots are treated like by normals do you
>>29596406
>actually thinking adults would be allowed to bully someone in a workplace
>>29596477
Just because something isn't allowed doesn't mean it wont happen
>>29596529
It will happen until someone gets fired
>>29596477
>having experience of it
meanwhile you:
>happy little normie oblivious to what robots go through on a daily basis
we are literally treated like third class citizens
if you're still a virgin by the time they die from STDs, laugh your ass off at their funerals
>>29596638
Explain what would happen if OP stood up for himself
>>29593153
You're their clown now.
>>29595725
In reality, people are cruel. That shit you hear about everyone being nice and if you just "get to know them," they're nice people. Wrong. Everyone is a piece of shit who only cares about themselves. Everyone is an enemy in my eyes waiting to harass me and I don't even bother trying to be nice to people anymore.
>>29595725
Let's be honest m8, if you're over 20 and have never been able to convince a girl to touch your penis, there's probably something fundamentally wrong with you.
>>29597823
That doesn't really answer the question. Why ostracize someone because there's something wrong with them?
>>29593010
If they make up an excuse to fire you after you file a sexual harassment complaint you can slap them with a suit for retribution.
>>29597896
Because it makes them feel good to put others down. It's that simple.
>>29592971
>>29592999
This but buy a digital recorder first and have it on and hidden in a pocket when you go in. This way if they laugh you out the door and/or try >>29593010 then you have evidence to take to a lawyer and start the process of suing them so hard those fucks will be hired for sure, win or lose.
And assuming you win, you get enough money that you likely won't have to work for a few years at least. Make sure you record the verbal abuse often/always too and take note of the time and date of each incident.
And come to think of it you may be able to file harassment charges against the individuals involved, provided you make the recordings.
tl;dr - Depending on how HR responds you may be in a prime position to sue the pants off the company and/or individuals involved, even if you may end up out of work a little while.
Get to it, robro and don't listen to retards like >>29592924
>>29595725
At my work there is a big office where all the sales people (mostly girls) work. The customer facing people don't really see them that much, and the managers of the customer facing folk (i.e. me) see them a fair bit.
Honestly, it is just something to talk about. Women love to "gossip" and talk about other peoples relationships and sex lives. Happens a LOT more on nights out where there is alcohol about, the amount of shit I know about my colleagues is ridiculous.
I get the impression it doesn't actually mean that much, it is just a conversation topic. One moment they will be talking about how creepy one of the kitchen guys is, the next it is some shitty TV show. The virgin thing has come up a few times and they talk about who they can set them up with to lose it.
Christ knows what they talk about at other times where I haven't been there.
>>29592889
So shoot them???
>>29597972
This. Just don't be a pushover faggot, OP.
orig
>>29593148
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JylCwXR42rM
wut the fuck am I watching anon? how in the hell did you come across these?
when i had a job everyone talked to each other but i was not included so i called them all cunts and got fired and that's work basically
>>29594052
how'd you lose it?
qwertyzxcvbasdfg
>>29593010
bro just talk to a lawyer. you have a fat pay check waiting for you because of this workplace harassment. don't throw away a golden opportunity.
>>29592815
>(Virgin walk is slightly hunched shoulders, looking around sheepishly sometimes, non-relaxed gait almost robotic)
people have literally been commenting on my posture for the past year. I can't even notice it, i thought it was the shape of my spine.
I can't believe this is happening
>>29593072
> Random girls talking to you
> Bad thing
And you wonder why you guys are virgins
>>29592201
>how did they find out pham?
His walk
>>29599385
Fuck me, everyone kept commenting on this when I was 13-14. Glad it stopped.
>>29599542
how do you stop? are you supposed to like look up or something?
>>29599659
Have sex
That'll fix it
>>29600047
>Have sex
sheeit
>>29592165
how did they find out mate?
>>29593796
I fucking hate this shit why can't they mind their own business.
falling for le virgin walk meme indicates that you're a virgin
>>29600317
I don't care quite enough about a shitpost to look it up again but at least one study has proven that people have slightly different postures and walks if they haven't recently had an orgasm.
I don't remember it mentioning virginity specifically.
True or not, just jerk it every day if only for the reduced risk of nut cancer.
>>29595058
the fuck don't they have better things do then to shit talk. they can shit talk all they want but the better not be surprise when that guy snaps from all the humiliation.
>tfw mom knows I'm KHV since she said I can invite a girl over whenever I want, but I've never done so
>>29600367
That was not worth watching
>tfw you had many opportunities but always spergs out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHcunREYzNY
>>29600367
>True or not, just jerk it every day if only for the reduced risk of nut cancer.
agreed m8
>>29600427
>KHV
newfag here, whats that?
>>29600427
>mom asks if I've ever been with a woman
>tell her no
>she asks if I've been with a man
>tell her no
>she doesn't know what to say next
>tell her "I won't lie, you're probably partly to blame" (single mother)
>she asks what can she do
>"nothing, its already too late for both me and them"
I've had sex three times (last time was 6 years ago). I'm even more aspie now than before. Sometimes I even forget I'm not a virgin.
Virginity is permanent for some of us. I'm a virgin by nature. My aura is still pure virgin.
>>29600718
Fuck off normalfag
Nobody cares about your special snowflake born again virgin nonsense.
You have shown enough social capital to convince a female to have intercourse with you not only once but THREE times. You are firmly within norm territory.
>>29600718
think again, normalshit
>>29592339
>>29592559
>tfw when I fucked a few escorts but I'm still socially awkward and people think I'm still a virgin anyway
>>29592521
You're still paying for it anyway, via dates, time invested, whatever. Escorts just skip the middle man
>>29600601
Kissless hugless virgin
Origami
>>29592889
>At lunch today someone ordered an "Anon margarita"
S A V A G E
>>29600787
ooh thanks
>>29592889
>Getting invited to hang out with people from work
>Basically socially competent enough for them to see you as worthwhile to hang out with
>Cracking jokes in good fun about you and might even help you in the future
>Thinks he's a robot
Fuck outta here you normie
>>29598037
this OP, sounds actually like a pretty good idea
.
This thread is scaring the shit out of me
>>29600750
>>29600763
I'm not trying to prove my robotity, you dense motherfucker. I'm trying to disprove the misconception of "stick your dick in a pussy and your manliness will blossom" that runs rampant on /r9k/, even in this very thread.
Fucking once won't solve anything. Fucking three times won't solve anything. Years later, I still live with my mom, friendless, still no gf, no job, no car, no money, no education, and mental illnesses out the ass.
How can I hide my virginity?
I'm not sure I want to have sex yet (implying that's what's stopping me) but I don't want people to my new job to make fun of me.
>>29592339
this pic is weirdly endearing. i want to cuddle with him
>>29592889
>At lunch today someone ordered an "Anon margarita."
I don't get it. Is "margarita" american slang for unfucked penis?
Advice for OP.
Maybe you can get really sarcastic the next time they call you a virgin. Even if you don't believe in the sanctity of marriage you could go that route. "Fuck me for waiting for someone I love, right?" "I'm obviously in the wrong for not getting in bed with someone I met the same day." Like, really rub their faces in the fact that they are filthy degenerate scum. It might seem like low-hanging fruit but they really went that route by making fun of you for being a virgin. Don't be afraid to get nasty. That work environment sounds shitty anyway. Destroy the women with facts on how no self-respecting man will want to marry them. Destroy the guys for using pussy as a measurement of self worth. Burn all bridges and then quit. It is the only way.
>>29598037
ameritards confirmed for not handling the banter. jej.
There was a girl I worked with who was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen, she was like a Latina sex goddess and was basically what I imagined my perfect girl would look like. Beautiful face, accent, thick as hell, all that stuff
But all she would do at work was call me a loser. Say that I had no girlfriend, no friends, if I had my drivers license, basically just shit on me all the time. Then when I would ignore her, she would act innocent and say that I was an asshole who ignored her and wouldn't talk to her.
Usually I don't have a problem making quick or "witty" comeback to people who make fun of physical stuff about me like my weird face or emaciated body, but I had no response to those comments from her. There is no comeback to "you're a loser, you have no friends, you virgin, etc"
Even though I'm sure she doesn't remember it or me, that is really the only time in my life that anyone (besides my parents) have really called out my complete loserness to my face and it hurt even more because of how beautiful I thought she was
I mean I've also had people say that "it explains everything about you" when I say I'm an only child, but I don't know if that counts
>read about the virgin walk
>realize how weird i act in public
>tfw r9k is slowly making me less autistic
>>29601899
was she negging you?
>>29601335
no the joke was that they ordered a virgin margarita, since anon is a virgo.
>>29592165
you fucked nigger
here:
(1) learn to be dismissive. this means not taking things to heart and learning how to fire back shit of the same caliber
(2) carry at least $1000 cash on you. next time the virginity thing is brought up, open up your wallet and loudly cry into a fanned-out handful of 100 dollar bills sobbing/screaming THIS IS ALL I HAVE! WHY DIDN'T I GET FUCK SLUTS AND GET LOCKED INTO A REGRETTABLE MARRIAGE. NOW ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE PAYMENTS ON MY BRAND NEW CAR AND ENJOY MY HOBBYS BOOO HOOOOO HOOOOOO
go further with the act if you have some personal shit that you can use to grill others, like if ted from accounting is getting assraped by child support payments, mention how unlucky you are how awful it is to keep your money
>>29601899
>>29602033
oh, i get it. she's used to talking to chad and giving him shit. he has enough self esteem to banter back. so, she's confused when you don't do that because everyone does that.
>>29602122
yeah, exactly man. i'm sure she's "giving chad shit" like calling him a virgin, asking if he has any friends, ask if he's a fucking loser! yeah, no wonder it's so easy for "chad" to banter back to those just light teases!
>>29602159
you write like a cuck
i'm glad somebody is taking jabs at your self-esteem
>>29592165
I'm in a similar predicament.
There is a Latina girl at the grocery store I work at. We started off by bagging groceries together, and ever since she has gradually proceeded to hold my arm when we walk and flirt with me.
She is about 25 and I am only 20 and for some reason that makes me not intimidated by her so I can hold a decent conversation with her. Anyway, she asked me today what the dirtiest thing I ever did to a girl was, and I panicked. I knew I shouldn't tell her I was a virgin, but my mind was blank and a few seconds had passed by that point so I just confessed it to her. I suspect she won't be interested anymore.
>>29602212
how does that make me a cuck? im saying its ridiculous for you to think that a girl would "tease" and "banter" with a normal guy by outright calling him a friendless virgin loser and that she would just be "used" to him bantering her back
i have no problems bantering with people. people will tease me for being weird, or my weird looks, and i have no problem taking it and being self deprecating and then going right back at them
but someone straight up calling you a friendless virgin loser? how the fuck do you respond to that?
>>29602159
i wasn't defending her, just trying to understand her thought process.
>>29602264
call her a promiscuous girl
>>29602273
oh i guess you werent this guy then
>>29602212
but yeah, she would lightly tease another guy there who was my friend and roommate, but those were like legitimately small teases. we were a little similar sense of humor wise but he was way cooler and was normal, so it was just light bantering. nowhere near the direct insults she would do to me
really, the reason i straight up just started ignoring her is because i knew that if i tried to make a comeback to it, i would say something horrible, like call her a slut or a bitch or a cunt or something
>>29602216
damn man you really fucked up. she was clearly into you and the dirty thing, the next step she was probably gonna talk about doing it with her
man you shoulda just thought about some kind of kinky porn you watched once, like tying her naked to her bed blindfolded. or like having sex with her while her parents were awake in the next room.
hell you even could have used the virgin thing as a joke to buy more time. "just kidding, it was actually _____".
what was her response
>>29592165
You're the one letting the fact you're a virgin get to you. Stop being such a fucking pussy especially when it comes to what other people think of you. Or are you that reliant on other peoples' thoughts.
You never ever tell anyone about your v status. Always lie.
>>29593211
>only people from my home town know i am a massive sperg.
then you arent a sperg, cunt
>Anon, are you a virgin?
>Yeah. Want to help me with that?
Easy as that m8s
Back when I was 18 I was working at a pizza place with a bunch of guys. They straight up asked me if I was a virgin because they were taking bets. I stupidly revealed that I was, thinking it wasn't that big a deal at 18. I never got bullied or anything, occasionally I got teased about it but not very often. It died down pretty quickly and no one brought up my virginity again after a few months passed. I left that job last year at the age of 22. They probably suspected I was still a virgin up until the time I left because I never mentioned losing it or having a gf or anything. I always lived in constant terror of someone making a virgin joke towards me at any given second at that job though. It was pretty relieving to leave just for that reason.
But my god, the thought of them possibly talking shit and laughing about me behind my back crushes me. I was pretty well liked there overall, and I felt really accepted (for once in my life). Do you think they made jokes about me being a virgin and a loser when I wasn't around?
>mfw they possibly did
>>29602864
>Are you a virgin
>;^)
>eeeew what a loser
>>29602875
what you don't know can't hurt you friend.
don't let your imagination tarnish your memories.
don't be sad friend.
>>29595814
Not true. Tons of people go through long dry spells. They just wont admit it.
>>29597896
It makes them feel better about themselves by comparison. Everybody does it. I'm sure at some point in your life you have criticized someone else for being uglier or dumber than you are (even if it was just internal criticism), and you got an ego boost from it.
>>29600427
That's both sad and sweet at the same time. At least your mom sounds like a caring lady.
>>29592889
This is what you get for getting to friendly with your coworkers, faggot. Keep it professional, cordial, and keep your distance.
>>29602875
What does it matter if they made jokes when you weren't around
>>29593148
>>29598999
Essential /r9k/ viewing. This is pure kino.
>>29603173
I just care too much what people think of me I guess, which is probably the number one cause of all my problems in life (including being a virgin)
>>29595800
This is what I do as well. Giving normies minimal insight into your personal life is crucial.
>tfw your manager offers to hook you up with her daughter
>>29595800
>unless you rape a woman
just visit a prostitute you autistic cunt, especially since it sounds like vagina means so much to you.
>>29592862
How dare people expect to be treated with respect. How dare they expect people to treat them like a normal human being. How dare people expect you to be a sane individual.
>tfw i lost my virginity at 17 like a normal horny teenager
Feels good.
>>29603406
Same here if blowjobs from hookers count
Who cares, you're an adult.
>>29603525
Mine was my first girlfriend.
>>29603406
>>29603600
feel better about yourself, champ?
>Overhear the girls chatting in the break room
>it turns to which guys from the office they'd go out with
>my name come up
>cackles
>They start teasing eachother about dating me
>die a little inside
>>29603780
This. I will never understand. How can people just do this??
>>29593096
this is an awful idea, alleviate yourself from the idea that anyone gives a damn about you in this world. this isnt fucking middle school where youll get made fun of for not wearing the nicest clothes or some shit, you have entered the cold world of adulthood. though it may feel like somebody out there cares enough to make fun of you in a week or so they'll stop remembering that it was funny. people arent worried about what youre doing or what youre saying as a robot, you have the ability to drift around the world anonymously without prosecution or examination. if you feel as though they are being this forward in terms of teasing you its as a sign of fucked normie freindship. the essence of it is that you are meant to exchange japes with them, or if you dont have the social aptitude to do that, laugh with them. a normie test has been offered to you, they are giving you the opportunity to fade back into the shadows or to become 'the funny loveable guy who just hasnt found the one', its your choice
how do women smell virginity? How do they know?
>>29593148
>96% of people have had sex before they turn 25
WHAT.THE.FUCK
How are all the ugly, awkward, crippled, boring fucks all getting laid but I'm stuck in the bottom 4%?
>>29593934
you are an actual 'my canadian girlfriend' person. you may feel as though you are tricking them but you are just that autistic
>>29602380
She laughed and then we went on as usual. She didn't flirt with me anymore though.
>>29594408
are you fucking daft? this guy is obviously uncomfortable with being in an unfavorable social situation, you offered a method to shut down social interaction
>people at work still dont know
FUCK THIS GAY EARTH
>>29602875
Yes. 99% chance you were made fun of. Normies are scum.
>>29596824
>Bro you take things so personally
>Haha lighten up buddy
>What are you gonna do about it?
Anything you say to them will be used against you
>>29592165
>Coworkers found the r9k tab.
>>29600621
dude thats just some petty parasitic behavior, having fewer parents actually increases your chances with the whole younger sexual activity, dont shovel youre shortcomings onto your mom
>>29592165
>Be me
>Meet cute girl
>Make a joke in convo about her boyfriend won't like something
>She seems shocked i know she's not single (I just guessed becauce she was shot)
>Few minutes later
>"Well, you're girlfriend probably does ___"
>I don't have a girlfriend, but she thought I did
>Yes
Another instance, same job, talking to qt 17 year old lesbian
>She says, hey anon, try this drink I made
>Say, nah haha I don't know what you and your gf do together
>She says "Nothing you've never done"
>Mfw when she actually thinks I've eating pussy
Feel good for a few minutes until I realise I shouldn't be happy about deceiving people that I'm not a virgin.
>>29604105
Yeah, it's probably pretty naive to think that they didnt talk shit here and there since everyone else at that store was shit talked about for some reason or another. At least it wasn't to my face, except for this one guy.
This one short little hipster faggot tried giving me a hard time. He wouldn't call me out on my virginity directly, but I have a feeling that was the reason he tried to pick on me (not sure if he actually knew I was a total virgin, definitely knew I didn't get much action though). I put up with it for a couple days until I had it, and I gave him a death stare as if I was about to rip his face off. He walked away really quickly, and never bothered me again.
I actually got straight up asked a couple times there if I had any friends. They asked nicely though. I would always lie and say yes.
I was truly a cyborg among normies. Still liked that place for the most part though
>>29604187
That probably only counts if your one parent is your father. Men raised by single mothers are how sexually frustrated serial killers are born.
>>29604415
not at all, when youre raised by your mother chances are you will be more aware to what a girl wants to see and hear from an individual, being raised by a father is just a bunch of pressure to be athletic and badass. they current swing of things states that femininity is considered a more attractive personality feature than it has ever been, having the ability to connect to another emotionally is a more desired trait (currently) than machoism, though im sure this trend will change its just the current state of things
>>29592165
>>coworkers found out I'm a 35 yo virgin
Whatever
>>29593189
Society needs to stop caring and fuck off. Why can't we all just kill each other off?
>>29595814
>Pretty much everyone has fairly regular sex.
I literally cannot fathom this.
>tfw
I'm not a violent person but stuff like this makes me feel happy whenever there is a workplace or school shooting.
People act like this and then act shocked when someone actually does something back.
>>29593148
>Everything after 10:37
Holy fuck 10/10
>>29604032
It's probably not quite that lopsided (although still pretty lopsided) and the only practical way to get a stat like that is through polling people, and lots of guys would likely lie and say they're not virgins even if asked anonymously.
>>29594954
FUCKING NORMALSCUM FUCK YOUR MEMES AND FUCK YOUR PETTY SEX REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO MEMES THEY GET HALF THEIR MEMES FROM US BETA UPRISING FUCKING WHEN
Why the fuck do you guy's care about what normans think of you? I'll post a relevant conversation I had a month ago.
>Roastie asks if im a virgin
>Yeah
>Oh really?
>Yeah
That fucking easy you spergs. Yes she probably told all her normalfaggot friends but again why the shit should I care about what they think of me?
>parents asked me to get a friend to act as a witness for legal document I signing
>told them i have no friends
>parents didn't believe
>mum went through my phone messages to ring a friend
>tfw only contacts were family related
>my mum wants to get me a special counselor
Kill me now
>>29605737
Why do normies think everyone needs friends like they do? Can they not comprehend people are ok without them?
>>29605758
She thinks I am going to end up suicidal because I have no close friends.
I don't know how to make her understand that I am in fact fine.
>>29595754
No that's not hot
Give him your ass, it's your only chance. There isn't a single woman that isn't a tumblr land whale who likes virgins
>>29601490
>implying people feel any shame for casual sex in this society that promotes it and actively encourages it
Doing that will simply make someone more of an outcast, the idea of casual sex being shameful or degenerate is incomprehensible to normies.
>>29600718
Please fuck off normalfag.
>>29599659
Erm...no idea. Happened to me at some point when I probably went crazy and turned from robot to cyborg (ie started socializing with normies for some reason, and got "friends" for the first time).
>>29592889
>Anon margarita
>>29595092
dude....that is fake
>>29593148
Now that jewtube tracks IPs and recommends, I'm not watching that until my roommate fucks off in August.
>>29593148
made me laugh then want to vomit
>with having BALLS
fuck
At least I don't have any of the outward signs of being a virgin
My friend's sorority slut roommate thought I was a "stud"
>>29593595
>professional life
>/r9k/
it might be time to kill yourself
>>29602096
>carry at least $1000 cash on you. next time the virginity thing is brought up, open up your wallet and loudly cry into a fanned-out handful of 100 dollar bills sobbing/screaming THIS IS ALL I HAVE! WHY DIDN'T I GET FUCK SLUTS AND GET LOCKED INTO A REGRETTABLE MARRIAGE. NOW ALL I CAN DO IS MAKE PAYMENTS ON MY BRAND NEW CAR AND ENJOY MY HOBBYS BOOO HOOOOO HOOOOOO
I am going to implement this in the future if my virgin status if ever discovered
It's genius
>>29592666
>666
Yes, Satan
>>29592815
>I walk like this
Ah fuck
>>29607173
Is your bed a racing car too?
>>29593148
why
Why
Why
WHY
FUCKING WHY
>>29593148
What the fuck is this shit? I'm surprised this is on jewtube of all things.
>>29592815
>am moderately autistic
>have autism gait
>mfw people probably assume im a virgin
>im not
its not my fault ive got downy genes and my muscle tone is fucked
>>29603780
God i know that feel
originocomento
>tfw never had a job
>tfw kissless virgin
This is honestly what scares me off getting a job. How the fuck could I deal with normies all day long?
>>29592165
Jesus christ some of the posts in this thread are hilariously sad.
>>29605737
I know that feel too man.
>>29605795
Yeah she's told me she's worried about me too. Although in my case I'm not fine
>>29602216
what the fuck man, at least you've had a girl interested in you, more than I've ever had
>having a job
normie, leave
>>29592165
>tfw other men assume I'm married
>never even had a girlfriend
why they do this?
>>29604032
This. I'm tall, muscular and handsome as fuck with a very healthy social life and still a virgin. I hate that I'm clumped together with these fucking losers.
>>29592815
>not a virgin
>tfw still do the virgin walk so everyone thinks I am
Kill me my dudes
>>29609879
Fuck off normalfag. How are you still a virgin then with those attributes?
I'm KHV and the only thing that makes me rage is fat fucks getting laid, given I've never been fat. It annoys me seeing fatties lose weight and becoming Chads.
>>29601899
>There is no comeback to "you're a loser, you have no friends, you virgin, etc"
Should've told her that the only thing she's got going for her is her looks and that it's cute how she tries to pretend she's not scared shitless of what's gonna happen when they fade. Then asked her to suck your cock.
>>29600554
Same here. Apparently I used to be somewhat charming, up until the point a girl showed the slightest romantic/sexual interest in me.
Then I became Chef Boyardee, lord of all that is spaghetti.
Then an incident in freshman year meant nonstop bullying for the rest of HS and everything went to shit forever after that.
>>29594016
You clearly don't know how normies think, they won't respect you or even try to understand what the hell is that.
You just need to have one thing clear.
I'm asexual = I'm a closet homo.
Now ask what would be the worst, the office virgin? Or the gay in denial.
>>29611401
>Then I became Chef Boyardee, lord of all that is spaghetti.
fucking kek
>an incident in freshman year meant nonstop bullying for the rest of HS
Fuck that sounds like a nightmare. Care to explain?
>>29593096
This is such a lame idea, for what?
Also, if he's a virgin he probably doesn't look like a scary guy.
>>29592889
>At lunch today someone ordered an "Anon margarita."
That's some world class banter.
