How do you gather the courage to off yourself? Any of you planning on killing yourselves this weekend? I want to try but it's so hard to go through with it. I've sat with a rope around my neck in the shed for hours at a time just trying to break the barrier and suspend myself but I can never do it.
It's hard as fuck to get a gun here, i wish i was in the US so I could just blow my brains out in half a second.
>>29585469
You know the problem with this thread OP.
Only people who could answer this are dead.
>>29585469
>courage
>suicide
pick one
>>29585469
here's what you do
>go to an alternative chan
>put a bunch of questionable stuff on a flash drive
>throw it into some highly conspicuous location
congrats, you are now obligated to kill yourself
>>29585501
>oh look, it's the suicide is cowardly meme again
>>29585501
So living through a shit life is courageous?
doesn't have any effect on anything else whether I kill myself or not. Why would I not kill myself just to please some fat swine on 4Chan?
>>29585469
just get drunk and do it
>>29585469
Don't kill yourself! Where are you from?
>>29585553
New zealand origami
>>29585539
I didn't say that
>>29585542
>So living through a shit life is courageous?
Yes?
>doesn't have any effect on anything else whether I kill myself or not.
You don't actually believe that, do you?
>fat swine
Okay, demonize other people to make yourself feel better
>>29585593
Call a suicide helpline
http://www.lifeline.org.nz
>>29585619
>You don't actually believe that, do you?
It's true
>Okay, demonize other people to make yourself feel better
You started it
>Yes?
I am not achieving anything, I am not helping anyone. I go to my dead end job come home and drink and do it again. I have no partner, my family doesn't speak to me (none of us speak to each other) and I don't even have the motivation to do anything about it. Why shouldn't I kill myself?
>>29585654
>It's true
Everything you do effects everyone else
>You started it
How? By disagreeing with your definition of courage?
How about you stop drinking so much? People used to drink to be social or using it as a way to think differently to grow as a person, of course you're going to feel shitty if you just sit around alone getting drunk every night. And how would you find a partner if that's all you do? Things don't just magically happen for you man. Try volunteering or getting a creative outlet.
>>29585880
>Everything you do effects everyone else
kek, the only people affected would be my parents and they would be happy cause they wouldn't have to pay for my shit anymore.
>>29585619
>I didn't say that
yes you did.
>muh noble life of suffering is better than having the brains to know when to give up and the balls to go through with it
>>29585880
>How about you stop drinking so much? People used to drink to be social or using it as a way to think differently to grow as a person, of course you're going to feel shitty if you just sit around alone getting drunk every night. And how would you find a partner if that's all you do? Things don't just magically happen for you man. Try volunteering or getting a creative outlet.
i have no idea what your life is like but i'm going to judge you and accuse you of not trying hard enough
>>29586195
I just disagreed with the definition of courage, courageous people usually don't kill themselves, hopeless people with no will to live who have had their courage destroyed do. Stop romanticizing suicide and acting like nobody understands you.
>>29586220
>tell people that you do nothing but work and get drunk
>"i have no idea what your life is like"
Yes let's all just help OP kill himself instead of asking him to stop drinking so much
burning question for me too.
>i've sat with a rope around my neck for hours
litterally same
bloxxity blox blox bkbkbk
>>29585469
>called suicide prevention hotline last night
>been super depressed and suicidal lately
>get chick on the line
>she sounds bored
>feel awkward trying to tell her stuff but eventually burst into tears and tell her everything on my mind and why i want to end the pain
>she just sounds bored and like she doesnt give a shit the whole time
I feel like killing myself even more now.
>>29586801
>spend thirty minutes sitting in bathtub with a large steak knife pressed into my arm
>it's serrated
>finally work up the courage and start sawing into my arm
>kind of a puss so it's not hard enough
>saw harder
>no blood
>saw harder
leave big red marks all over my arm without breaking the skin
The knife was pretty dull but goddamn, no one told me it would be so difficult. My arms are pretty veiny, it shouldn't be hard to do.
>tried to hang myself
>didn't work
>learned more about local gun laws and how to get one
>it's really difficult and expensive but not impossible
>saved money
>consulted lawyers
>took the exams
>sent in my application
Now i'm waiting for my card to arrive in the mail so I can buy a gun and shoot myself
>>29588129
I feel like a gun is the way to go. Like a handgun of some kind.
I see these suicides in videos all the time and it's like, BAM and the light in their eyes does out, blood waterfall out the nose etc. It looks quick which is what I want. I just want everything to blink out of existence like flicking off a light switch forever.
I live in burgerland so it should be easy to get. I could probably just walk into the pawnshop and buy one.
>>29588129
i had a dream i found a p38 inside a cabinet
the only reason i'd have a dream like that is if i wanted to shoot myself, which, as soon as I saw the gun in my dream, is the first thing i thought of.
it was quite vivid and i was disappointed when i woke up.
despite this i still don't think i need help, tho.
>>29588196
>every time I pick up a toy gun I immediately put it to my head
I guess I do that every time. Huh.
>>29585545
or better yet take a lethal dose of morphine
Dissociatives are much better for committing suicide though
When I finally go out it will be very drunk, and a shotgun in the mouth directly to the brainstem. My existence will be obliterated instantly. I don't want to have to watch myself die slowly. We all die anyway so may as well do it this way.
>>29588239
>walther p38
>toy gun
>>29588180
If you shoot yourself, use a shotgun.
>>29588320
I was talking about myself. I don't often have access to real guns. I held a revolver once but it was unloaded.
>>29588321
See, I thought so too but it's such a big gun. Isn't it awkward to do?
Didn't Hunter S. Thompson use a shotgun to kill himself?
>>29588032
>>29588085
But scalpels from Amazon. One slice will open you up a fair bit.
I cut all the way through the skin to the fat layer on my upper arm with one
>>29588395
Don't cut a vein. It almost never works, people see themselves bleeding everywhere and it usually ends in passing out and waking up, or calling the hospital.
Guns or hanging are something easier to do, and plus, nobody ever regretted suicide.
>>29586309
Why are you even here?
You have to go back normie
>>29588460
Personally I wasn't going for suicide, I just have a weird blood fetish.
However there is an artery in the wrist that you can get to.
>>29588460
I feel like a gun is the way to go. Once you work up the courage to pull the trigger there's no backing out.
All I can think of is all the pain and everything blinking of like a light. BAM then
Ya know? It just sounds so fucking good.
Anyone else go to bed every night and hope you die in your sleep?
>>29585469
kek you dont have the mental strenght to do it.
You need to absolutely not give a shit if you live or you die to follow through, if you are feeling sad or angry or anything at all then you are not doing it.
It has to feel like getting a glass of water or charging your phone, completely mundane for you to stop second guessing
>>29588533
I'm getting there. I'm turning 32 this year with nothing to live for. No future. Nothing feels good anymore. I don't enjoy anything. I just want the pain to stop.
>>29588550
>32
you are never getting there, better look for a job
>No future. Nothing feels good anymore blah blah blah
thats all bullshit, if you truly felt that way you would have killed yourself. Self pity will stop you too.
You know how many thread i made? how many people i called? none, no note, no goodbyes. Took me 2 seconds to decide to do it and i would be dead if an ambulance wasnt called
>>29588607
I used to feel good. I could enjoy things. But it's reaching a tipping point. In the last nine months things have just gotten progressively worse. I'm coming off a pill popping spree at the moment and everything hurts.
>>29588550
Do you mean literal pain on top of everything else?
>>29588636
you have been reaching your tipping point for ten years, there is no tipping point for you
>pill popping spree
i took 10 times my dose everyday so i didnt have to be awake, literally slept for weeks at a time
You are never going to do it, doing it is a fantasy for you like the edgy teens that want to shoot the school, only 0.00001% do it
>>29588607
Do you are committing suicide as we speak?
>>29588531
Ye i wish i died in my sleep every night.
Fuck anxiety.
Sadly i don't have enough courage to kill myself.
>>29588724
*so you are...
>>29588676
Partially. I'm not suffering greatly but my joints, neck and back always hurt, I have headaches every time I wake up.
But I could live with that. The worst pain is inside. Sometimes during the day I will be trying to do something I enjoy like playing a video game and five minutes into booting it up my heart sinks and I feel like crawling back into bed and crying.
>>29588718
Maybe. I want to though. I just want to click everything off like a light switch.
Has someone ever hurt you so bad you wanted to off yourself in front of them just so they have to live with it for the rest of their lives?
>>29588724
nope, got over my depresion and im now fine.
Took me 3 years of constant hell, if i had to go through that again i would kill myself in day two
>>29588759
Oh well you certainly aren't alone in those pains. The pain you talk about inside though, like it feels like your heart just bottoms out almost like your stomach can? Do you feel intense anxiety followed by it? Is it like your heart skips a few beats? I'm so sorry... I know that does fuck all.
>>29588881
Sometimes I will be sitting around watching a show on a Saturday night around 11am and I can't get comfortable. I feel guilty like I shouldn't be enjoying it because I need to worry about job hunting. So i'll tell myself to just forget about it because it's fucking Saturday night and there's not much I can do till Monday anyway. But the tension in my chest just builds and builds.
And yeah sometimes my heart just bottoms out like my stomach at various periods during the day. Sinks like an anchor right down to my feet and through the floorboards.
And when people I know and trust like my family see me like that, or when I can't help but cry they get angry or ignore me or tell me to cheer up. So I usually hide it as best I can.
I try really hard to put on a fake smile so it doesn't bother anyone. I mean, i'm not a "sad" guy. I can laugh and joke and hang out with people sometimes. I don't enjoy the pain and depression or anything it's just an ever present thing and getting worse.
>>29589018
>11am
Meant 11pm.
>>29589018
It extremely difficult when people that love you don't want to deal with an "unpleasant" part of your life. It kind of dents that trust just a little when people who profess to love you and care for you can't find a way to help you so they respond with indifference or being jerks and you being in pain at the same time...
I don't have a damned thing constructive I could say to you, though with how you've spoken it seems like the joblessness is a major trigger for you. And your family isn't doing anything to help further along the process at all? I don't know how they could, but if they see you suffering and want to help maybe getting a job would be one step in security and feeling more at ease. Much easier said than done. But those pains aren't just going to go away so soon, but there will be good days. Right? Do you have some good days, or just moments? Feeling ill a lot can leave you grasping at the moments.
I'm pretty dumb, so I apologize for rambling and not giving you anything of substance. I'm just as uncertain about the future if that helps and you aren't alone in the pains. It doesn't help, but I wish it did anon.
>>29589193
You and that bored chick on the suicide prevention line are the only ones to even give me the time of day about it so thanks anyway.
Maybe a job would make me feel better, I dunno. I'm trying anything. It feels like there is a giant hole in my heart and nothing can fill it.
It is more like moments than days. I can't remember going a full day and feeling good about anything in the last year or so.
>>29589300
I really doubt getting a job would make you feel better without first addressing your either mental or physical problems. Might relieve some of the guilt that you've placed on yourself or that others have placed on you to work.
Hold on to those moments, the good ones. Maybe start a journal of your feelings and symptoms for just a week to review where you're at? Each day or time something major flares mark it down with a note or something, examine if there is anything that triggered that response from your body and go from there?
There are other self-help sites online, I'm sure of it. I have nothing of particular interest on my side to say, but I'd be glad to listen and respond to you if you have an email or something.
