Can you ever truly care about and empathize with another human's well being, thoughts, pain and emotions without having at least SOME urge to date them?
This was going to turn into a whole different thread entirely, but I've decided I'll use it to get my thoughts out there after so many years.
To me, it seems that the general public's capacity for unwavering sociopathy has gone astonishingly unnoticed.
Anyone could kill you at any time and very few people would REALLY care. They might go to jail because it's the law. Sociopaths still have a sense of self preservation, so they'll lock up any killer that runs around in their communities.
I know I might be digging my grave for the "wow, you're so edgy" replies when I say this, but I'm very paranoid that empathy is a rare defect that only affects about 10-20% of the human population.
What do you guys think? Can anyone relate to this suspicion?
Yes. I'm saving this.
True empathy affects a miniscule percentage of people. If only we could have a different Earth, filled only by these people. That would be true utopia.
To truly care for someone, you don't have to romantically love them. If you meet someone who shares our ideals, you'll see that. But when you find someone like that to love, your world will change forever.
>>29581569
>Can you ever truly care about and empathize with another human's well being, thoughts, pain and emotions without having at least SOME urge to date them?
Yes, of course.
And yes of course, the average person has very little empathy and is nauseatingly self centered. This goes 'unnoticed' because it is a common trait across almost every member of society.
>>29581762
>>29581816
It's good to know that others agree to me. I've been thinking this for the last 4 or so years and it's been making me want to die because everybody in real life has said I was insane or paranoid for it.
>>29582014
Nah don't die, that would be no fun. Then you wouldn't be able to find that special someone.
I'd actually enjoy talking, if you want to. You interested? Like-minded individuals are rare, and I know better than to pass up the opportunity to connect with people like us, and make friends.
I have tons of empathy, I think, and I can't stand the sight of hobos begging, children crying, or animals being injured. It makes me too sad. I don't know how to use this empathy to form a relationship or make friends, though.
>>29581569
You're not wrong at all. The vast majority of people are indeed sociopaths and just won't admit it because they don't have to since their stance is "normal" so they only people who will challenge their empathy level are outcasts in small numbers that can be disregarded easily. they have this idea that they are good people and are not open to being wrong about it.
Example. It's almost like how they are with animals. Give them a pet rabbit. They will say the rabbit should be treated so nicely, have a nicely sized cage and be given attention. Give them a dog, they would never ever condone kicking or hitting the dog, and would expect it to be walked often and visit the vet ect. Then, meanwhile. They buy mac makeup that tortures rabbits in animal testing labs that pin their eyes open and put poison in it. They do animal testing on beagles (dogs) too wear they put gas masks on them and fuck up their lungs. Not to mention the billions of animals they pay to be slaughtered for food or torutured for dairy in factory farms.
They literally pay for animals to be killed for them in factories. And are so sanctimonious they would never never identify as someone who would even kick an animal.
Then we take this cognitive dissonance and apply it to other humans.
>>29582181
Same here.
You don't "use" it to make friends. You use it to keep friends.
Your deeper caring for people won't by itself assist you in making human connections. But when you find a kind person, you'll know. You'll be able to tell. They'll share this empathy, and then you'll use that to strengthen a relationship. To form a deeper bond.
>>29582062
Yeah, sure.
Any preferred methods of communication? Leave your info and I'll respond almost immediately. Or if you're too uncomfortable about it, I can give mine.
>>29582266
Comfortable for sure. You use Kik? My username is 'Jeffermen.' Or if you prefer Skype, 'Jefferderp'. If you don't mind just post a screenshot of >>29582062.
>>29582314
And by "post" I meant send, via your preferred platform.
>>29581569
Holy shit whats up with all these fags talking about god and the human psych? I mean holy shit man, i know its summer. But save that shit for class. Get back to talking about your perpetual virginity
>>29582335
Sent a request on skype. I prefer it, since kik deletes chat history after a while, but if you want, we can escalate to kik later.
>>29582335
Can I join in?
I've wondered about this topic for a while now, skype is mrfluffychiken
>>29582457
I sent a request, although I'm not sure if you got it. I'll be slow replying since I'm talking to a few people now.
>>29581569
1) Empathy is a trait of weakness. There is no tangible benefit to it in society. It will not get you laid, it won't help you make friends or get a job, and so on.
2) This is doubly so if you're a male. If anything it is a feminine and extremely beta trait. It is also a good future wizardry indicator.
That said, I've been extremely emphatic since I was a small child. I knew I was fucked when I was able to cry for total strangers as an adult. It's very easy for me to imagine the feelings of people who are in distress. This is also how I know that I am not autistic or on the spectrum.
>>29582181
I can't stand abuse towards any person of any age (especially the elderly). I firmly believe all people are worth something, and that their emotions matter. When I see someone act opposite to what I believe in it frustrates me to no end. I also never understood racism when I was younger, and I still don't understand it now that I'm older. I've been coming to 4chan for 10 years but I've never fit in. Hate towards people is something I don't get.
IRL in my early 30's I dropped everything to go pursue a nursing degree (once again, a beta male career) because I wanted to help people in some way. Helping is really the only thing that moves me. I also do good deeds and random acts of kindness often but I never talk about it. Talking about the specifics turns it into a kind action done for the wrong reasons IMO (as the OP said, usually for something in return).
Anyway yeah, if a trait has no benefit then it makes sense that its holders will go the way of the dodo. I know at this rate that I am probably never reproducing (never had gf, sperg, and so on).
>>29582778
yeah I didnt get it, although that might be skype's fault for being shitty recently
>>29581569
>Can you ever truly care about and empathize with another human's well being, thoughts, pain and emotions without having at least SOME urge to date them?
Wanting to date them comes after the empathy surge, because the person made me feel something and that's what I'm attracted to
I think, and this is only my personal experience, that it is hard to be empathetic on demand. I often try to feign empathy conceptually, and I think it's transparent- but I actually do want to feel it, I just can't.
But every once in awhile something will randomly strike me and I'll feel it hard, and I think the more I can relate to it with my own experiences and the more it's something I'm "focused on" in general, the more likely it is that it'll happen. Those cases are ironic because I'm usually not able to offer a solution, just sit there feeling dumbfounded and whatever the other guy is feeling.
So I think really if most people are like me, then they are contextual sociopaths and contextual empaths, but more on the sociopath side. It's not even that we want to be 2edgy, it's just something that doesn't happen.
Sometimes I'm afraid I'm a psychopath.
People around me hear abou a child dying or a gay bar "tragedy" and they feel bad (or at least pretend to) while I feel nothing.
And it's not about me wanting to be more compassionate. It's about fitting in, what if I say something wrong or if I don't react enough/a certain way? I might lose some aquantainces that could make my life easier. I could even lose my job!
>>29583177
I can never feel empathy over those kinds of things either
Plus my fixation with suicide and death as a positive thing makes it really hard for me to grieve unless it's someone who I'd really miss
I don't think most people feel genuine empathy over those kinds of things unless it relates to their demographic. Realistically it's just too far removed.
>>29583284
Not him but while hearing about stuff like that usually doesn't move me, actually watching it happen on liveleak or something has brought me to tears.
>>29583177
with the news you can hear about so many tragedies a day, and almost all of them have no direct, obvious effect on your life. i think that feeling nothing in response is a pretty reasonable way to adjust. imagine if you got all emotionally invested with every sad thing you hear on the news? i think the problem, ultimately, is the news and our excessive exposure to it.
>>29583177
I think the way people react to the instances you're referring to is actually a case of being sympathetic, and not empathetic.
People will see how horrible a situation is, and they will feel shocked that it happened and feel sorry for the affected victims. This is different from empathy, wheras sympathy is feeling sorry or pity for others, empathy is being able to understand the emotions of the affected persons and what their feelings consist of exactly.
Please correct me if I'm wrong here.
>>29583991
100% correctblohks famiglia
>>29581569
>>29582266
OP, leave a throwaway or something. I want to talk to you as well.
>>29581569
Survival of the fittest. Empathy is just a method of self-preservation by strengthening the group. This is not new.
>>29581569
What makes a person genuinely empathetic versus merely acting empathetic because it's a social norm?
> Can you ever truly care about and empathize with another human's well being, thoughts, pain and emotions without having at least SOME urge to date them
Do you hate your familly or want to have sex with them? Do you have no male friends? Are you a homo or bisexual? Honestly OP to write something like this indicates some weird sexual issues.
>>29582834
>This is also how I know that I am not autistic or on the spectrum.
funfact: Autists actually have hyperactive empathy just like they have hyperactive senses. Most of them defend themselves from sensory overload by escaping into their own minds. But a small percentage won't do this and stay hypersensitive into adulthood.
>>29581569
Empathy is worthless to me. The truly altruistic people I know completely lack empathy and have instead made a conscious decision to be good.
An empathetic person is hard to resist because they make you feel seen. But know that their feelings sway like trees in the wind; When their feelings stop, so do the caring behaviour. If you tire them out or happen to make them angry they will make up a stupid excuse to justify their feelings.
A person who has submitted to a higher moral ideal will do what is right no matter how bad it feels. Most often this choice is made by people who lack empathy.
>>29585600
I love this anon.
Well said, have a (You).
