It's time for me to go out in the real world and get a job.
I'm 23 and have never had one before.
How do I get a job? Am I fucked? My only qualifications are that I am quiet and lazy and most incompetent.
Yup your fucked. Someone with job experience will apply for the same job as you and they will get it. Go Google a cover letter and resume template. Make a cover letter and resume. Go to the local Walmart or Mc dickies, ask for a application forms to fill out. Hand all 3 back on and pray a high schooler gets the job
>>29566809
those aren't qualifications anon!
THEY ARE CHARACTER FLAWS!
>>29567309
he asked for a job, not minimum wage, part time slave labor
You'd be better off just killing yourself. Work is suffering and you'll want to die every second of the day that you're there.
>t. A wageslave since age 16
I'm in the same predicament as you, OP. I've worked a few times before, but it's never really gone well.
When I start a job, everything's fine at first. I want to do well because I feel like I'm finally needed for something. I feel like I'm helping other people with their lives. I start chatting with my co-workers and having friendly banter with my bosses. I just think to myself, "What nice people!" So I have the motivation to keep up with all my hours in my schedule. I never get there late or leave home early and I diligently and honestly fill in my time sheet.
But then I start to hit a slump because I start seeing the job for what it really is. It dawns on me that I'm not a scientist developing the cure for cancer, I'm just the receptionist for an office in the back of the school, where nobody ever enters. I start to wonder whether the place would run just as smoothly if I wasn't even there.
And the worst part is that I was always right; I was a completely unnecessary component of a completely unnecessary workplace. I'd start to skip work all the time and just say on my time sheets that I did my hours. In all the jobs I've worked at, nobody really noticed I wasn't showing up most of the time. I remember one time I got caught, but it was only because the other guy was sick and he blew my cover. Some of my jobs were probably running even better without me. Whenever students came to my desk with a question, I'd never know the answer. If I wasn't there, they'd just ask one of the other people there, the very same ones I'd probably ask if I actually was there. I'm just a useless middle man.
So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here, because I want to make a difference in other people's lives but I don't really have anything offer anybody. I'm not really sure where I'll be in like 10 or 20 years.
Look specifically for entry level jobs. These are jobs where the employer is expecting to hire someone with minimal/zero experience. You aren't fucked, because these jobs exist specifically for people like you.
These jobs almost never require a resume, but having one doesn't hurt at all.
Look for smaller, preferably family owned places (restaurants, etc.), But any business will do. Go in and ask whoever is working if you can talk to the current manager.
Introduce yourself to the manager, shake their hand, make sure they learn your face/name. Tell them that you're interested in working for them, and that you'd like an application. Theyll go behind the counter/into the back and grab one for you. Thank them for your time and leave. In some cases (sometimes they don't have a lot of people applying and are already considering you.) they may hand you a pen and encourage you to start filling out the application form right there.
If you end up filling the form out there instead of at home, don't stress about filling ALL the boxes. Some of them ask for information you likely wont have off of the top of your head. Just get the basics in there, such as contact info/education/etc.
If you take it home with you, fill it out and go back in the next day or two. Ask for the manager. If you're lucky, it'll be the same one. Hand him/her your application and say that you look forward to hearing back from them.
At this point you've allowed the manager to put a face to a name. You're no longer just another name on a piece of paper. You've shown initiative and made sure they know who you are.
Bonus tip: Do some research and try to find warehouse jobs near where you live. Common employers for this kind of work include
>UPS
>Amazon
>Zappos
>FedEx
And so on. Each should be easy to look up for your city.
Cont. In next post.
>>29566809
Are you a convicted felon?
If no, then you're not truly fucked.
>>29567794
Benefits of these warehouse jobs:
>500% easier to obtain than soulless restaurant/retail jobs you'd normally apply for, who are usually picky about who they hire and will almost never get back to you.
>Easy as fuck to get hired, since they have a high turnover rate, are not picky, and hire new employees en masse
>Always pay above minimum wage. A majority of these jobs will pay a minimum of $10-12 an hour
>Always room for advancement; Actually showing up consistently and being a decent person is all it takes to move up
>Perfect work for robots; Usually little/no social interaction
>They take care of their employees; Consistently doing the bare minimum is enough for them to start giving you bonuses and benefits
>Almost all of these places offer ample education assistance
