Depression
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
I posted this in a thread earlier. But i really feel like i need to post it because i am feeling really terrible and maybe someone can help?
>feel alone constantly, even when im not
>sometimes feel a random urge to cry anywhere
>scared of the random suicidal thoughts.
>can't smile or look at myself in a mirror
>numb to the feeling of people dying
>no appetite
>feel like a weak skeleton that could drop dead suddenly
>constantly reminded of the only two girlfriends i ever had and that they both cheated
>distrust any girl now
>feel even more alone because of it
>zero confidence
>zero motivation
>scared of drugs killing me one day
>haven't slept for about 50 hours and mentally exhausted
When i was younger i felt like my parents could solve any problem and i felt safe. I now feel like i have nowhere or no one to go to and all i feel is a void slowly sucking me in as my life crumbles underneath me.
I sometimes still wish i was a kid and think about all the good times i had. Good times I'll never be able to get back or relive.
I often fantasise about some sort of device to send me back in time to when i was seven years old without worries
Are you taking drugs regularly at the moment?
From this:
>scared of drugs killing me one day
>>29564448
Yes, I've replaced morfine with cannabis recently because i kept panicking about how i might take too much onpurpously and die. In the end i don't really wish to want to die, but it was too tempting to just toss that coin. But now i smoke daily and it doesn't feel like it will suffice
>and maybe someone can help?
>>29564431
You need help anon, have you tried seeking professional guidance? Also working out has helped me alot releasing pent up anxiety and stress. You're gonna be okay buddy, seriously if a self pittying narcistic asshole like me can do it, so can you.
>>29564511
I've tried, but i stopped when i just felt like it was covering up the problems without actually removing the roots. Plus i believe that even if we find the roots, it's not going to be solved because whatever happened cannot be unhappened. It's just a regretting life which i want to solve, but cannot ever.
And yeah i am actually still trying, but i find it hard to push through with it. I'm trying to start swimming again, but i feel so weak that it just feels like an extra thing that i cannot do anymore. I do enjoy it however. So i still try whenever i can but it's difficult.
And thank you anon, you made me chuckle for the first time in a long while with your last sentence. I appreciate it
>>29564607
How old are you btw? I don't think that's the problem here. You are unsatisfied with your current life as it is right now, sure your past is weighing you down like a motherfucker but I think you wouldn't have so much regret from that if you felt that you were living at least a half decent life right now.
Therapy and drugs aren't going to solve shit by themselves, and you can't change the past. But it might help you determine and accomplish goals for the present and future. And that good sir will give you the confidence and boost to deal with your past better I think
>>29564431
>only two girlfriends
Kill yourself.
>>29565012
You know how all the virgins on this board like to pretend that their life will magically 180 and they will become happy once they get laid or get a gf?
Yea that doesn't actually happen for most people. Putting your cock in a slimy hole one time does not magically cure your terminal sadness and contempt for life.
It's a shitty myth, happiness is much much more than that.
>>29565363
Sounds like to OP that happiness is being a spoon-fed 7 years old.
Hence he should kill himself.
>>29565363
>>29565012
If your life sucks before sex, It will suck after sex.
It can probably be even worse. At least when you don't know how it feels like, you can hope that it will make you happy.
It's not nice to stare at the celling of a room post coitum, realizing that it was all kind of worthless.
"it was kinda nice for the time it lasted" but nothing changes. It's just a way to lose some time.
A bit like drugs, or Ice cream.
Sex is probably the most overrated thing of this globe. At least, that's how I've lived it. But maybe i'm the faggot who can't enjoy anything.
But I'm not set for life if i had an ice cream/fun for some time inside someone.
tl;dr: Sex don't sets you.
>>29564431
Me too thanks.
Har de harr harr unique comment fuck off chinese moot.
Reading this thread as a 26 year old makes me realise how behind losers like us really are in terms of knowing what to do with ourselves. How you people feel in this thread was how i felt as well when i was 19-22. Now im 26 i now know what I would've and should've done when I was 22 or younger but that means shit all because im not at that age anymore which means im again one step behind
Ill see myself outs
>>29564933
I turn 21 in july. And i guess you're right, but I've set goals like learning new things that could help me get a career. I became a mediocre chefcook which i kind of enjoyed for a while untill i broke my hand. They sacked me because of it. Like alot of the other times, i just end up sitting like pic related on the couch alone, in the dark, crying with a joint in my hand about the disaster that is my life. Everytime i move forward i seem to take two steps back.
I mean i was finally getting happy when i had a girlfriend. I started to feel good, and loved. Then all the love and attention you put into a girl, gets thrown back in your face after 1,5 years because she lied about what happened on holiday and cheated. It was the final straw so i broke up and started using morfine. I just wanted to die more and more.
>>29565012
To have lost love leaves a bigger gaping hole than to have never had it.
>>29565760
Thank you anon for understanding. It's just a distraction in the end. But even after sex, you just feel empty
>>29565877
I know, it sucks. Literally out of my wits
