>be me 19 living at home
>Lonely dude with no good friends besides my sister's friends.
>Deal with the depression and loneliness pretty well though
>Sister breaks up with her boyfriend of 6 years that was my big brother basically
>Boyfriend/bro life goes to shit, which makes me feel like shit.
>He's a dumbass but he has his reasons why.
>Breakup peaks today
>Feel like shit today because of it
>Watch movies to deal with my depression
>Get a text today from my sort of friend about a party.
>Invites me, and says the party already started
>Really hesitant but decide to go.
>Tell my parents and they looked happy I was getting out.
>Get to the party
>No one there I know, mostly girls
>Asks me who the hell I am, and is a complete bitch.
>Try to explain why I am and who invited me
>Has no idea who he is
>Says it's "okay" to stay.
>At least 12 looking at me judgementally like I'm a loser for about 20 minutes
>Most awkward and sad experience of my life.
>Call friend and he's not even coming.
>Leave without a word
>Drive to a park and cry.
I'm still at the park waiting long enough time so my parents think I had a fun time. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I couldn't find that picture of the group of teenagers looking at the camera weirdly but it was basically what I delt with.
Bump, I need someone to talk to anons
Get a hobby.Watch Gundam.Collect Gunpla,go to /m/.
That sucks anon. One more party than I've ever been to though.
>>29557262
i know what picture you're talking about anon.
That sounds pretty rough tbqh, you should have called your bud on the way to the party, to make sure he was going.
This is the turning point, OP. Evaluate your situation right now, and where it has led you. You've let life kick you in the teeth. Where do you go?
Do you swear to improve yourself and strive for your goals, or do you continue to let life kick you in the teeth?
Watch evangelion and feel more depressed.
The heart constricting pain of Anxiety and the emotionless wonder of depression is why I still draw breath. Use that shit as fuel and waste away like I am OP
>>29557478
Thanks anon, I'm not a complete neet though but I still get my shit kicked in by live. It just isn't fair, especially when I just want to be happy and I try to be happy.
>>29557262
you sound like a pretty sensitive dude. Maybe it would be best for you to harden up and be more easy going and relaxed before life keeps kicking you to the point that you're callous as all fuck and on your own.
Youre only 19, plenty of time to improve before you end up a proper robot.
>>29557600
Your victimisation attitude needs to fuck off. If you get your shit kicked in by life, it's because you let it. Worrying about how fair something is or isn't is to ignore the source of the problem, your irresolution to better your life.
>>29557696
I am so sick of you "le everything is your own fault just pull up your bootstraps" guys on here. You are not giving OP any real advice, just generic bullshit that has been said on this board a thousand times.
>>29557672
>>29557696
I understand that I'm probably being a victim but it just felt so shity. I see on social media people having the time of their lives hanging out, parting, and other social things while I stay in my room wasting away, and the only proper time I hangout is with my sister's friends. I only feel more pathetic around them, but I still need to talk to someone you know. Also, I know victim card, but I got bullied horrible in middle school and I think that's where my anxiety with others stems from. So when shit like today happens it really hurts. I just want someone to love, and love me back. I can't deal with just loving myself.
>>29557262
a.Drugs, porn, and video games
b.Lifting, reading, and cardio
c.suicide
d.Keep doing what youre doing and live it out
>>29557865
What's your advice, then? Life was not ever crafted to be easy, and you only get at most what you put in (if you're lucky), at worst you end up worse than when you started.
It's generic because it's true. Deal with it.
>>29557897
While you have to try and move past victimisation, it is good to maintain causal links between things. Bullied in high school? Sure, that's probably the source of some of your problems. But what are you going to do to fix those problems? The problem with being a victim is that you, purposefully or not, use it to resolve yourself of responsibility. You're tempted to use the cause as an excuse, instead of planning on how to improve yourself.
I understand where you're coming from, anon. But you're living an unsustainable lifestyle, like this. You need to do some considering. What do you want out of life? What problems do you have, and of those problems, what are obstructing what I want out of life? How do I get rid or minimise these problems?
There is no room there for being a victim. Being a victim has fuck-all to do with identifying a problem, or coming up with a solution to a problem.
>>29558096
That was actually really good advice. Thanks anon i really appreciate it.
>>29558155
No problem anon, I genuinely hope that you get better. Consider getting some hobbies (or taking what interests/hobbies you have more seriously) and using the internet to find some local meet-ups of people with like-minded interests. The internet is a really, really powerful tool for self-improvement in almost every aspect of life.
>>29557897
Lately I have been thinking about feedback loops.
When you get a few tough breaks, it compromises your judgment, puts you in places you shouldn't be saying things you wouldn't normally say. This leads you to the point where everything seems fucked no matter what you do.
Conversely: if you have just a slight windfall, just a very slight edge over your competitors, you can consolidate it, flaunt it, make it bigger and bigger and make yourself more and more successful.
I think that's the key to being happy and successful in everything: life, relationships, work, money; shutting down negative feedback loops and extrapolating positive feedback loops
