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Anonymous
2016-06-26 22:53:00 Post No. 29552115
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Anonymous
2016-06-26 22:53:00
Post No. 29552115
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I had been doing okay for a while. I would still have panic attacks every couple of weeks as a result of the brain injury, but visiting my aunt's place up north for a few weeks was supposed to help me relax and maybe get a little better. It worked last summer, so I thought it would help this summer too. I think I was wrong.
I fell in love with my cousin last summer. She's a little younger than me, and I only see her once a year. But I thought maybe it was just a quick meme crush. I thought spending a year away from here would make me get over it. It didn't. Seeing her again this summer just confirmed everything I thought I felt about her. I am in love with my first cousin, and now I'm stuck here for two more weeks.
I love being friends with her and being around her so I won't say or do anything that'd ruin what we have. A few months ago while I was drunk I told her how I felt, but the next morning we laughed it off as the alcohol talking. She probably hasn't forgotten but maybe she convinced herself I really was just drunk. But it's the truth. We haven't talked about it since.
My emotional state is rapidly deteriorating. I can't talk to her, or anyone for that matter, about it. For the next two weeks, she'll be close enough to touch but still forever out of reach. I fucking hate myself and the way I feel.
