I'm 20 and I've never had a relationship in my life and I feel like it's seriously made me emotionally unavailable. Even on a TALKING level, I can't get past the "small talk" stage with a guy because the idea of small talk is so pointless to me, I can't even think of what I'm supposed to say.
At this point I'd consider myself a hookup slut more than anything; I've made out/done touchy stuff with guys and I can flirt no problem but when it comes to actually COMMUNICATING with a guy who's interesting I'm cold and not very chatty. Not because I don't want to be, because I literally have no idea what to say.
For example, right in this moment, a guy who I hooked up with who's apparently really interested in me is trying to talk to me via social media and I have no idea what I should be doing. We're not past the small talk stage and I feel like I'm being an unresponsive cow. How do I fix this?
>>29551500
Don't worry - modern western society will make sure that some poor fucker has to "MAN UP" and date you, then marry you.
You're all set.
>>29551521
This really has nothing to do with the original post, I'm not even sure what you're trying to say.
>>29551500
you are allowed to be direct and just speak your mind.
>>29551500
are you a girl? wait a minute
if you are a girl, GET THE FUCK OUT ROASTIE FILTHY WHORE
if you are not a girl, stop being gay faggot
>>29551539
I'm trying to tell you that it doesn't matter if you're a worthless slut, young men are expected to submit to you, so you don't need to worry about anything.
>>29551500
A N T W E R P
N
T
W
E
R
P
>>29551575
But what am I supposed to be direct about? What am I supposed to say? I'm tired of "what are you doing" "how are you" texts because it's literally the same two responses over and over with minimal variation.
I
Don't know
Conversation
>>29551630
That's really not helping with my original question but thank you for replying anyway.
holy shit, that's some good bait son
Their is nothing you should be doing. Do what you want. Say what comes to mind.
>>29551666
you literally just wrote a wall of text for us. just speak your mind. like you just did. lmao
IGNORE THE THREAD
IGNORE THE BAIT
MAKE R9K FOR VIRGINS AGAIN
Just respond to him more, if you like him then open up to him. Trust me he will love that shit. I would if a girl did that to me
>>29551500
I'm a man and I have the same problem - I don't know how to say to women interested in me.
But there's a reason. They don't have the slightest hint of culture.
I can talk entire hours about helicopters, Schubert, finance, cooking, optics, Rembrandt, Mars exploration, Renaissance, ham radio, homeschooling, Nazism, self-built electric vehicles...
...and they'll only talk about diets, weather, and planned holidays.
>Babe, you know what an oboe is, do you?
Sooner or later, I'll meet some girl who can talk for hours without being frivolous. And I'll marry her.
>>29551692
But it's different because I already had a preset idea for what I was going to ask a group of anonymous strangers. In the situation I am currently in with the guy, I am unable to think of any actual conversation topics. What do people even talk about? What kind of shit do girls talk about to guys that they're still getting to know? via text of course.
>>29551745
check his knowledge.
a few questions to him, just try to make him shine like a brilliant Chad - and you will both get a conversation starter, and a good hint about his chadness: is his life full of the usual stupid things?
>>29551730
I think the main problem is it just takes me a long time to open up to people, especially with a guy who is interested in me. Combined with the fact that if I KNOW a guy is interested in me it just makes me all the more shyer. So by the time I eventually start to open up he's probably cooled off and doesn't like me anymore.
>>29551745
'lol so what do u liek? do u liek browsing da 'chon? lol!!''
>>29551790
>is his life full of the usual stupid things?
Yeah, pretty much. Has a part time job, goes to uni, smokes weed, all the usual things.
>>29551848
and why the fuck you didn't yet ignore him?
>inb4: I'm a woman, I love Chads and useless guys, I only dump real men, and finally I regret it.
>>29551820
I'm not keen on exposing my power level.
>>29552075
Why would I ignore him? Also how did you come to the conclusion that he is useless? He has a job and goes to uni, he definitely has prospects with just those two things combined. In my country its rare to find a 20 year old guy who studies and works at the same time. Also weed is cool, I don't have a problem with it.
>>29552112
>smokes weed
>usual guy, usual things
>frivolous talk with you
I don't see much possible chemistry, here.
People without hobbies stop using their brains, eventually lose interest in anything than usual things, and then get bored and go for cheating, weed, cuckolding, and so on. Do you really need something like this?
>>29551500
>implying roasties can even comprehend the masterpiece that is Harold & Maude
The Fuck Outta Here
>>29551800
As long as you keep on responding to him he wont lose interest in you, hell why not suggest to hang out in person or something
>>29552221
If playing guitar/being in a band is a hobby he does that, but I'm not sure about anything else because it's still far too early. Also people on the chan place far too much importance on "hobbies" than they should, it's really not something to be fixated on.
>>29552474
We've already hung out in person a few times, the last time we saw each other we hooked up actually. I'm more confident/outspoken in real life but in this day and age when over half of your communication is done on a screen I really don't know how to play the game. This is literally coming from a 20 year old, who should feel comfortable with shit like this.
>ITT: Robots helping a slut talk to Chad Thundercock
Oh /r9k/, what ever happened to you?
>>29552678
He's actually kinda fat and a manlet but okay.
>>29552628
>Also people on the chan place far too much importance on "hobbies" than they should, it's really not something to be fixated on.
Your life is not defined by the things you "have to" do (like your job: except a very few cases, you don't do exactly what you like), but by things that make you happy.
And if you can't even talk about them with a guy, not even in some stupid text, then the guy is only a saggy penis attached to a human body with an empty brain.
>>29552726
What a lie.
You stupid slut. What a slut. What a whore. I want to piss on you right now.
>>29552840
>>29552840
>the guy is only a saggy penis attached to a human body with an empty brain
The thought of this actually helps me communicate. Thanks lol
>>29552112
Do you not have anything in common with eachother or have you yet to figure that out? Tomorrow is Monday so it's the perfect time to ask what he got up to at the weekend and you can talk about yours that should give you a bit to talk about. If you actually want to talk to thus person being cold and unresponsive through Messenger is the worst thing on could do because it will just make you look like you aren't interested and he won't want to look like he's pestering you by making chat.
>>29552840
>then the guy is only a saggy penis attached to a human body with an empty brain.
What would be the female equivalent of that? It could help me in the future.
>>29552929
>Do you not have anything in common with eachother or have you yet to figure that out?
Yet to figure that out. I think I'm just scared to ask questions because I don't want to seem over eager or pester him? It's like I want him to do all the asking but at the same time I want to do it too but I'm afraid.
>>29553043
Nah just be brave and ask the questions, it will show your interest. If you've already hooked up and met up a couple of times your past the stage of being too keen, trust me it won't look like that at all.
Once you settle in and start getting to know him youl relax and start being yourself which is exactly what you want to do, what's the point in putting up a front when your both just trying to get to know one another.
Does he know that your quite shy like this? It might be a good idea to tell him that. From personal experience I dated a girl that was a bit of an introvert and it actually helped things when she told me that because it put less pressure on me and gave me a lot of confidence because I used to be shy when it came to talking to girls (and sometimes still am)
>>29553262
I don't really want to tell him that I'm shy because, well because I'm prideful like that. I'm sure I will later on but not now. He told our friend that he's really into me and he's not even sure if he should message me or not because he doesn't want to bother me or something. The friend said that if I was just a "fling" or something unimportant to him he'd just straight up talk and whatever but apparently he's kinda overthinking it too.
>>29553374
I suppose it is a bit of a blind move if you don't know the person that well. It sounds like your both in the same position so really all that needs to happen is for one of you to make the first step and show your interest. From what you've described about this person and the situation, if you leave it to him it could take longer for you to get close or even worse he might just move on.
It sounds like yous both like eachother enough so I don't really think you have much to worry about. Confidence is always a hard thing to find but it's always better to take a chance than sit there regretting that you never did anything.
If I was in your position my next step would be to ask if he wants to meet up simple as that.
