>ITT post stupid and autistic stuff you did or thought when you were kids
I'll start:
>masturbating in public
>used to think that I will get a girlfriend if I pray enough
>back at kindergarden i found a needle and sticked it in a girl's back for no actual reason
>was at relatives and the bathroom was occupied so i pooped on the floor
I used to masturbate daily while sitting by grinding my dick between my ass and my hand on the seat which gave me a downwards curved dick that I don't think will be able to penetrate a woman comfortably
I used to masturbate in public toilets a lot. Now I don't even feel the need to do so anymore.
>>29528053
>masturbate
>IN PUBLIC TOILETS
You sir are the absolute madman
>>29528081
Is it really that bad? I doubt I could even get horny now in public. No more random boners.
masturbated on an airplane once under a blanket.
pooped in a bowl, pooped in the shower, used to pee in the shower.
>>29527876
That last one reminds me of this:
>be 14
>at dad's sister's husband's parents' home
>need to use the bathroom
>haven't pooped for a few days
>take a massive dump
>of course it clogs the toilet
>try to flush it down but fail
>just give up
>go back outside to play with brother (too old to play but whatever)
>fast forward a few minutes
>dad comes outside
>he's furious
>takes me inside and makes me clean the toilet
We haven't visited them after that.
>hid inside the big garbage bin for hours without any reason at all
>made sure i know the names of everyone in school, even the irrelevant kids, and even though i only talked to a bunch of guys from my class
>thought my grandma was like the witch from hansel and gretel when she tried to staff me with food and refused her treats
>walked half the time with shoelaces untied and the tongues sticking out
I thought other people were mind readers because they knew I was sad even though I wasn't crying.
>>29527876
Masturbated in an inflatable boat 200 yards from the beach and all the people.
>>29528244
About that,even nowadays people always ask me if I'm sad even though I am not
Think I got a resting sad pepe face
>>29527876
>used to pee in back of couch in living room because bathroom scared me and/or couldn't wait for commercials
>used to hold in pee constantly. peed in bathroom at elementary school twice, went kindergarten to 5th grade
>3rd grade, waited til end of day but had to pee really badly
>so badly i actually got courage to ask teacher to go pee but she said it was too late, almost time to go home
>had to take bus home
>still holding it but proceeded to piss all over myself slowly, bit by bit, for the twenty minute bus ride
>got off bus, awkwardly hid peestains with backpack and jacket
>luckily it was snowing
>sat down in snow and wiggled around to purposely wet my pants even more
>no one knew
just posting a rare frog g0ys
>>29528323
poor you thats barely a common THIS IS A RARE
>>29527977
I used to masturbate prone with my dick pointed down, now it's all floppy at the base
>>29528312
>used to hold in pee constantly
same, I hardly used the bathrooms at all till 6th grade.
>in the 6th grade
>never really use urinals
>no stalls are free
>pull down pants and underwear
>everybody freaks out at seeing my ass
>>29528439
Were you going to piss on the floor or what
>>29528503
no I was pissing in the urinal but I wasn't used to doing that so I pulled my pants down.
>and people say autism is just a meme
>>29527876
When I was in elementary school I decided that I wasn't going to wipe my butt anymore when I pooed, so I used to sit on the edge of my chair between my cheeks because it itched.
>>29528199
>dad's sister's husband's parents'
Your aunt's husband's parents, you mean...
Fuck your unnecessary complicated word use.
>>29528439
How does it feel pissing with your pants down?
>>29528238
>made sure i know the names of everyone in school, even the irrelevant kids, and even though i only talked to a bunch of guys from my class
You don't know how good it felt knowing that someone cared to talk to you including your first name
>>29527977
I used to masturbate without getting hard; like, rubbing the wang but preventing it from getting fully erect before the climax. Idk if this fucked me but I'm a dicklet.I still do it sometimes, kill me
>>29527876
Went swimming in lower school and didn't take of briefs beforehand. Had a wet ass the rest of the day. Also boys and girls used to get changed in the same classroom and I got labelled a pervert for starting
>never take a shit at school, I'd straight up hold it in even if i arrived and had to poo right after, I'd hold it in 7+ hours til I got home because the toilets at school were disgusting
>even though we were supposed to have only one locker I put locks on 4 and used them all whenever it was convenient in the day.
>when I was younger that 6 I'd hide to take naps. crawl behind the couch, under a table, in a closet, pretty much anywhere I could get away with sleeping and not be bothered
>>29528707
I know, but I wanted to say dad's sister instead of aunt anyway because dad has a role in the story.
>>29528878
>never take a shit at school
That's not autistic or stupid, school toilets were fucking disgusting.
>>29527876
>be 13 me
>be afraid of the dark
>too scared to go to the bathroom at night
>pee under the rug in my room
>the next morning when mommy me asked why did the room smell like piss i blamed it on the cat
>do this a few more times before growing the balls to walk four meters to the bathroom
That stupid old rug still kind of smells like piss
>>29529022
*asked me
shit, i'm too drunk to even write
>>29527876
>be me around 7
>i tought there where ghost watching me at night
>i tought they can hear me speak so i spoke with them every night
>i thought if i let out small drops of pee in my pjs they will appaer for me
>did this for a very long time
>whole room and bed smelt like piss all the time
>around age 9
>once shit in my pajamas for no reason
>walked out and put the poo in toilet
>went back to bad and fell asleep
>mom next day told me thats bad
>somewhere at 11
>found a flash dating sim
>found boobs in game
>pissed myself on purpose for no reason(probably exictement)
>did this for a whole summer
>always picking nose
>always collect the mucus on the side of bed or under desk
>alone in classroom
>go to the window and stick it on the outter side of the casement
>it was a rainy night
>next day check it out
>it was swollen because of the water
>decide to make a diary for it and keep the changes on record
>next day it dissapears
>teachers held us a class about how not to leave unapropriate body fluids behind
>a few weeks later i grease dickcheese on a few desk hoping the same thing to happen
>nothing happens
>repeat for a few days
>last time a kid caught me
>told the teacher i was masturbating
>almost got suspended
>last year of school
>played san andreas all summer long
>tought i can make a gang
>taged the school toilets with autistic gang sign from game
>was too much of a pussy to do it right or visibly
>nobody ever noticed them
>>29528878
>be high schooler me
>live in eastern europe so the school toilet stalls are basically falling apart and covered in piss
>you couldn't even close the stall's door: all of them were broken they always stood partially open
>really uncomfortable when i have to pee there because of the partially opened door, especially when there were other people in the room so i had trouble to "make it go"
>i couldn't even take a shit because the door couldn't be closed
>it wasn't even a toilet it was one of these things where you have to crouch down to take a shit
>there was that one time when i entered one of the stalls and there was piss leaking from the walls
>fucking 8th graderstbh
>start going to the teachers's bathroom to do my business because it smells nice in there and you can actually sit your ass on a clean toilet and there was even fucking toilet paper
>get in trouble for using the teachers's bathroom
>decide to just go home when i have to go really bad
>eventually i missed so many classes because of that that i almost got kicked out of high school for skipping classes
fuck my shithole of a country tbq
>>29527876
> be me, age 12
> Go to friends house for sleepover
> Need a massive shit at like 2am
> Block toliet
> Can't keep flushing toliet, too scared of waking people up
>Reach into toliet and pick up shit boulder
> Put it in wastebin in the bathroom
> next day, leave very early, before anyone finds the shit
> Never get invited back
>>29527876
>be 14 y/o me at water polo practice
>ask the trainer to go to the toilet
>he lets me go
>go to the toilet
>there's no toilet paper and the door was broken and couldn't be fully closed
>the bathroom was in the changing room so since the door was broken everyone could see me pee/shit
>decide to hold it it
>when the practice ends i can feel the shit battling my rectum trying to escape from its prison
>realize i'd forgotten my underwear
>put clothes on and start the 30 minute walk to home
>5 minutes in couldn't hold it in and shit myself
>since i had no underwear the shit started leaking down my legs and on my shoes and shit
>random people staring at me on the street
>a bunch of kids start laughing at me
>when i get home sprinti to the bathroom to take a shower
>when i took my clothes off my pants were brown from all the shit
>when mommy found my shit covered pants and shoes i told her the truth
>never go to waterpolo practice again
>slowly gain weight and turn into the lazy piece of fat shit i am today
Every time i think about this it makes me want to kill myself
>>29528732
Feels good, man.got muted because someone else actually bothered to punctuate
>>29529237
>>pissed myself on purpose for no reason(probably exictement)
I'm starting to notice a trend here
>Used to eat lunch in the restroom
Why are so many of these about restroom breaks?
>>29528312
something similar with the pee stains happened to me
>be me
>felt sick so I called for a ride
>had to pee first
I used to take my pants down a little instead of unzipping them since I didn't know how
>start peeing
>pants come back up accidentally
>cant stop pissing
>pants have a massive stain on them from my piss
>cover it up with my backpack as I walk to the office to wait for my mom
>some kid is walking by me as my mom tells me to get up and go
>I start staring at the kid since he wont leave and keeps looking at me
>he thinks I want to fight so he walks over and throws his backpack down
>I get up to run and tell my mom to leave
>she was a bitchy soccer mom so she confronted the kid and said she will call his mom if he fights me
>he looks at my piss stain
>starts laughing
>whole school starts making fun of me from then on
>mfw
Used to piss behind my bed when I lived with my moms friend
>>29529718
How the fuck did you manage to bring yourself to eat in a school bathroom? Those things are so disgusting I could never keep an appetite in there. And it isn't just you, this is apparently a common thing on this board.
I used to think I'd have a wife, kids, my own home, a passion, friends and a career.
I was a stupid kid.
Enjoy wall of text
>be me 4 years ago in highschool
>almost full robot, only have 2 friends, who i'd smoke weed with
>end of 2nd period, almost lunch
>all 3 of us decide to smoke weed in the school bathroom at lunch, then walk out and have lunch
>5 minutes into lunch we meet at bathroom
>all of us enter the handicapped stall cause it has more room
>friend #1 pulls out joint he rolled IN CLASS (holy fuck)
>friend #2 was sketching out whole time but he stayed
>i was having a fun time, getting a little baked
>all of the sudden we heard the bathroom door open
>OHFUCKNIGGER.JPG
>i throw joint in toilet
>we all jumped on top of the the toilet except friend #1, so it looked like he was taking a shit
>the guy who entered said who's smoking dope in here
>friend #1 says he wasn't smoking weed, he was sprayed by a skunk
>meanwhile friend #2 and me where trying to stay as quiet as possible
>I burst out of laughter from friend #1s answer
>teacher calls principle and school security
>all 3 of us arrested and expelled
No longer friends with those guys, i fucking hate them. Still have that charge on my record, getting a job is near impossible. Just end me senpai
That summer vacation was gonna kick ass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wT1GrFFdawo
In middle school I really liked this guy so I wrote him a note and then got too scared to give it to him and started like, faking replies from him and showing my friends.
Eventually someone found this collection of like 230 notes I had wrote to him without ever giving them to him, stapled to 230 notes I fake wrote back as him and everyone realized I was a weird piece of shit.
>>29527876
I used to masturbate on the bus by grinding my dick on the seats
I used to hide in the bathtub and scare my sister when she came to the washroom
>>29530604
>And started like, faking replies
>Like
Stacy detected.
>>29530656
>I used to hide in the bathtub and scare my sister when she came to the washroom
Nice, did you ever catch her actually shitting?
When I was really small, around 3 or 4, I used to sneak into my big sisters bed (we slept in the same room since money was tight back then)and then crawl up inside of her pajamas and sleep between her breasts. All I remember from this is my own PoV of how I was inside of her shirt crawling upwards. She was the one who told me about it
>>29530604
Girl I feel this so hard
It's okay I still think you're cool
>>29530677
Why do you just hang out on the internet hoping to bully people?
>>29530782
Thanks dawg.
>>29528638
>I decided that I wasn't going to wipe my butt anymore
why did this seem like a good idea
>>29530509
M8 it was your fault not anybody else's fault. Stop balming people for your past actions
>>29530872
I'm sorryorfginale
>Rubbed penis against bed to masturbate
>Jerked off in briefs at night then wore them to school
>Asked parents to wipe my ass until I was 8
I ordered 1,000 free USPS boxes and 12 rolls of free packing tape once. My father got really upset.
>>29528810
What the fuck? You can ejaculate without getting erect? How is that even possible?
>>29527876
>used to think that I will get a girlfriend if I pray enough
I didn't need to remember this.
>>29531926
I still do that first one.
>>29529237
Wew lad, these are great.
>>29527876
One time when I was 14 I jerked off and had an orgasm in the bathroom at school
when i was five i thought that if i turned on my fan high enough it would create a vortex i could fly on so i gave myself three different concussions by yanking my fan chain and leaping towards the wall
I used to collect pamphlets from grocery stores. I had bags full of them (they were one page and smaller than A4 back then)
No idea why
>>29528707
>uncles parents
Really nigger?
>>29527876
>>used to think that I will get a girlfriend if I pray enough
>be me 10 years old
>hit puberty pretty young so I was always jerking off
>get a women's toilet fetish
>go to the neighborhood park one day
>early in the morning
>walk into women's restroom
>the toilet is full of piss
>assume a hot milf had a nice piss and forgot to flush
>jackpot.png
>get on my knees
>dunk my head into the toilet
>get my whole head wet
>stand up and dry off head with shirt
>still horny but too scared to jerk off
>go over to sink
>take a huge shit in it
>wipe ass with toilet paper and went home
It wasn't until many years later that I remembered it and realized that was more than likely some random guy's piss or a little girl.
>>29536034
>random guy's piss
>or a little girl.
>>29536034
>a little girl
What's wrong?
I used to think that my autism and social anxiety would go away as it got older
>"oh anon, you'll stop being shy when you mature"
>>29536072
>>29536089
I'm fucked up, but not a pedophile
>>29536127
There is no reason to be so rude.
ps; Rika a cute
>>29536146
Sorry, didn't mean to sound rude
>>29536476
Im shitposting. Dont take anything I say seriously.
>>29527876
>masturbated in publicin class
probably why kids called me boner boy
i still cringe to this day
One time at K-mart I slammed my cart into an old lady's' big ass. I was around five or six years old.
>You never go full retard
When I was really little I stayed up late one night to watch Hercules. It was the one where there was a spider girl who caught him and was getting all sexual about it.
This was my fetish before I realized sex was anything more than kissing.
Would dream about crush actually being a spider girl and would kiss me before eating me.
But I also didnt understand spiders
So in my dreams I would be like tied to a pizza or something. I would wet dream so hard.
<3 alicia
>>29536683
One time when I was a child I ran into a woman in public and hugged her, thinking she was my mom. She wasn't.
>fap at school
>Fap any and everywhere.
>Hand job by fat chick on school bus
I give no fucks.
>grade one
>permitted to use bathroom
>notice urinal cakes
>take one out of urinal and sniff out
>it's pissy
>like the smell
>lick it
>mmmm :)
>stick pencils in my ass
in 9th grade I jacked off on the bus home from school. I put my jacket over myself so no one could see. No one said anything so I don't know if I got away with it.
>went on a date with a girl
>had sex but no condoms
Thank God I didn't get aids or anything
>>29528533
No one said autism is a meme.
>cry violently for 8 hours when toy was broken and no one would fix it. 10 y/o
>bite children in elementary school hard enough to scar
>actually ate worms when dared
>humped own foot in front of family while watching television
I just want to forget
