Prostitute General

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Anonymous
Prostitute General 2016-06-22 00:25:58 Post No. 29448396
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Prostitute General Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:25:58 Post No. 29448396 [Report]

Can we get a prostitute thread? Just had my first experience with one last night and it was fucking terrible.

>2 a.m, horny as fuck, decide to browse backpage like I sometimes do
>Finally decide to not be a bitch and pull the trigger
>Call up an escort agency, they describe the girls they have available
>Decide to go with "Mya". A 23 year old blonde hair slender girl with a C-cup
>Hang up and wait for her
>They call back 10 minutes later, inform me that she is no longer available and ask if "Serenity" is okay.
>Basically the same stats as the original but 34 years old
>Fuckit.png
>She finally shows up around 3:30
>Immediately realize I may have made a bad decision
>She looks like she's 50 years old, and due to years of smoking she sounds like it too
>Saggy tits, greasy hair, and a weird skinnyfat body
>She is an exact replica of Petunia, the smoking hooker from Futurama
>Whatever.gif
>Offer her a hit of weed, she accepts
>Begins acting ridiculous
>Sits on my leather couch, rubbing her hands on it
>"Is this eel skin?"
>"No, it's leather"
>"I'm pretty sure this is eel skin"
>"okay"
>Give her the $150 plus a $50 tip because that's what's required I guess
>Finally coax her into my bedroom
>Take off her shirt, revealing even saggier tits than I had previously imagined
>Pull off her pants and panties
>Immediately hit with the smell of decaying salmon
>Try my hardest to breath through my mouth while she's sucking my dick
>Finally get somewhat hard
>Pull out a condom
>"Oh you have condoms? I haven't used those in a while. You mind if I take some?"
>Reluctantly put my cock into her smelly hole
>Wonder if this condom is thick enough to protect my penis from the onslaught of STDs that is about to befall it
>Fucking her with a semi-chub for about a minute
>Suddenly she starts crying
>Ask what's wrong
>She starts in about "the baby" and how she's killing it with her meth use
>Realize that she's telling me she's pregnant
>All life immediately drains from my defeated boner

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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:27:53 Post No.29448427
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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:27:53 Post No.29448427 [Report]

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>She continues sobbing while I attempt to comfort her
>Goes into her purse and pulls out her meth and her pipe
>Tell her that she's not smoking that shit in my house
>She starts heating up the pipe anyway
>Have to physically take the pipe from her so she doesn't smoke meth inside my house
>She gets irate
>That second I get a call on my phone
>It's the escort agency wondering where the fuck she was
>Apparently they had been attempting to call her for 20 minutes on her cell phone with no luck
>Realize our hour was up long ago
>I try to explain the horrible experience I've been having
>Suddenly she starts screaming "HELP! HELP! HE WON'T LET ME LEAVE!" so the person on the phone would hear her
>Full blown panic as the guy on the phone starts getting angry with me for "fucking with his girls"
>Try my best to explain what was actually happening
>He doesn't believe me, thinks I've been holding her hostage or some shit
>Tell the guy that I'm kicking her out and that someone needs to pick her up because I don't want some strange whore roaming around this nice neighborhood
>Turn around to see the hooker smoking meth again
>I scream at her to get the fuck out and have to physically push her out the door
>She's finally gone and I lock the door
>Laying in bed, contemplating the night
>Realize I have no idea where my wallet is
>That cunt fucking stole it
>Now I'm out over $300 and that bitch has my ID and credit cards

This was truly an awful experience. I don't think I'm ever going to fuck a hooker again, and if I do, it will definitely be an in-call instead of at my house. Fuck that shit

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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:31:23 Post No.29448495
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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:31:23 Post No.29448495 [Report]

No one else fucks hookers here?

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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:32:57 Post No.29448523
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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:32:57 Post No.29448523 [Report]

>>29448495
I thought about it, but man I think you convinced me otherwise.

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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:37:15 Post No.29448611
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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:37:15 Post No.29448611 [Report]

i want to fuck one really badly but i'm only into busty matures

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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:38:54 Post No.29448637
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Anonymous 2016-06-22 00:38:54 Post No.29448637 [Report]

>>29448396
>>29448427
I doubt this ever happened.

But I'm seeing an escort in a couple days for a body to body massage and some titty fucking from a tall blonde 27 y/o euro chick with some natural E cups.

I've tried brothels but i dont just want some random whore that just puts a condom on my dick and immediately starts riding me. But GFE escorts are usually really expensive and i'm a NEET.

Also condoms ruin everything there's literally no point.