My psychotherapist started asking me about this, and seems very insistent, and talking with the few people I still communicate with, they agree:
I seem to have been traumatized, or at least appear as though that is the case.
Even my parents think so.
Problem being, I can't remember shit. I don't remember getting raped, getting beaten, getting ANYTHING done to me or happen to me that might be traumatizing, and people around me can't think of anything either.
Does anybody here know how to deal with this? Maybe how to remember something like that, so I can deal with it instead of rotting in my room till I die?
Honestly I'm only asking arcanine because, being rather asocial, I am running out of options of people who might hold knowlege in this regard.
It's possible to get trauma type results from relatively minor incidents. It may seem like being a whiny bitch, but it happens. There's a chance you're overlooking key factors because you feel like they're too insignificant.
Or maybe you do have a completely hidden extreme trauma in your past. I can't say you haven't, and I've been in the same position. I can't remember most of my childhood, if I went through extreme trauma, I probably wouldn't remember it.
>>29447098
I hadn't thought about that. It might well be that I'm just misjudging what qualifies as a trauma, or traumatic event.
Shit. There goes the one chance at finding it, critically remembering the past and trying to find a traumatic event. FUCK.
bump because i have also extremely self traumatized myself seeing the world around me but can't seem to pinpoint when it all started...
>>29447042
>never raped by parents, never beaten severely
>extreme mental and emotional abuse
>had frequent psychosis during manic episodes due to bipolar type 1
>during those episodes I blacked out frequently
>often woke up in hotel rooms in foreign countries with blood on my shoes or clothes and no memory of how I got there
>know deep down that some extremely fucked up shit happened but no matter how hard I try I can't remember what
the therapists I've spoken to have universally said to focus on the things that I can remember and that the memories may surface on their own given time.
Trauma doesn't affect everyone the same way, and sometimes it doesn't register as trauma until years later. Or you just don't feel it until years later.
No advice on recovering memories of the kind of shit you think you might be repressing. I never forget any of what happened to me.
Do you have old schoolbooks or whatever around?
Looking through those may jog your memory.
I buried being sexually and physically abused deep down and thought of those painful years as something insignificant because I didn't think about them often or I wasn't brought to tears.
After speaking to a therapist for 6 years I finally went over every single incident that happened to me and as of January 2016 I am no longer depressed.
>>29448274
tell us more. what was the endgame in all of this and the plan of the therapist?
>>29448401
Going over the abuse didn't happen every session although it was more frequent in the first year. Mostly we would talk about my symptoms and how to manage it with medication as well as things like routine, regular scheduling, and exercise.
I first saw him in 2008 after I dropped out of highschool and stopped seeing him in 2014. As of this moment most my of symptoms are gone and I'm attending University for the first time this fall to study Electrical Engineering.
