So how's that great novel coming along, men?
>>29440932
Once I'm done living it, I'll write it down.
I'm only writing short story. It's finished so all I need to do is revise and get feedback.
>>29440932
I'm finishing de thirteenth chapter.
Pookie is sorounded by strippers on a night club that try to help him to recover from his anxiety attack. He needs to cum but he is a transgendered female.
>>29441354
I'll give you some feedback, anon
>>29440932
Finished, worked for two years. Incredibly hard to garner feedback, feel bad about it. No one to share with. Posted a paragraph to a lit critique thread and got made fun of by a handful of anons.
Someone just crawl in my window tonight and smother me while I'm dreaming
>>29442876
> Going on /lit/
First mistake.
But like I said previously, I'll give you some feedback, anon. I mean, I can't promise that I'll like it but I won't be cruel.
>>29442911
I'm a different anon. I feel pretty uncomfortable posting anything online, honestly. You have a Skype? How's your work going?
It's a series so I'll probably be writing it until my death. At least it keeps me somewhat distracted from life.
>>29443007
Yeah, my skype is warlord_x_ and I haven't written in a long time, actually. During the last year at college I lost the will too and now I'm actually reading a shit ton instead
>>29442911
Be nice please.
>The light from his monitor flickered almost impercievably, but it was just enough to rouse [character] from his trance. He'd been at this for far too long; a gargantuan drain on his physical resources with no rewards ready to reap. What's the point anymore? Was there ever a point to begin with? The exhaustion that marred his thoughts prevented him from coming to a clear answer. Not just mentally drained, he noted, but also somehow physically. His muscled burned and ached as they did every night, though he had no doubt it would do his meagre frame any good. Skeletal, yet bloated. A living paradox.
>>29443113
Cool, I'll shoot you a note when I get off work in two hours. We should talk about that.
I found something similar: I want to write fiction but find it more and more difficult to do so. Can't bring myself to read fiction having written none of my own to be proud of, so I just read nonfiction all the time now..
What did you study in College?
Someday i will start some abstract story like Molloy...
>>29443185
>if it was imperceivable, the character should not perceive it (it roused him) and you probably shouldn't even be telling us as a narrator. It being imperceptible and all
>gargantuan drain on physical resources--purple as fuck man
>you telling
>you telling
>character telling
>back to you telling
>oddly switches between subjective and objective information
Sort out your narrative voice Anon. It reads like you the literal author telling me shit which is grating
Last time I wrote anything was when I got fucked up on MDMA and left my mother a barely legible note asking her to confirm that Aliens was the best film in the franchise.
>>29443185
> Impercievably
I googled this word and didn't find any mention of that form on Merriam-Webster. The word impercievable got the definition: "Archaic" so I don't know if that word fits there. Otherwise I don't see anything wrong with it, very grim in tone.
>>29443213
I am working towards becoming a CPA.
>>29443312
>>if it was imperceivable,
It was ALMOST impercievable you uncultured swine learn to fucking read.
>>29443374
Either way you're writing redundant shit, that's the point of my post.
Or keep writing tripe, make my submissions more likely to get published--sure anon.
>>29443425
>published--sure anon.
That's not how you use punctuation dashes. I can write as much tripe as I want, the odds of your stuff getting published remains exactly the same as always.Probably very low because you write pseudo-intellectual boring garbage that serves no purpose other than as a demonstration of how much better you think you are than everyone
>>29440932
I've been thinking about writing for a long time, but whenever I would sit down to write, I would go blank.
Writing at /qst/ has been a nice way for me to just write things spontaneously and the inspiration(?) from the players makes it easier when I don't know where to next.
Maybe someday I'll actually sit down and write something.
>>29443498
Way to project.
>>29443568
>Way TOO project.
Fixed that for you famalam,
>>29443498
>projecting this hard
Tell me again how I write pseud prose while your protageauxnist is busy waxing poetic on l'condition humaine in front of his computer screen, which isn't just a vicarious vessel for your own adolescent bullshit. It has nothing to do with why your narrative voice is conflated with your characters voice at all right?
No go on, post more of your own musings poorly clad in blaring tropes anon
>>29443672
>projecting this hard
When did this become the go to argument on our Korean flipbook forums? I'm genuinely curious, since it means absulutely fucking nothing.
>Tell me again how I write pseud prose
Sure thing buddy, here you go:
>Tell me again how I write pseud prose while your protageauxnist is busy waxing poetic on l'condition humaine in front of his computer screen, which isn't just a vicarious vessel for your own adolescent bullshit. It has nothing to do with why your narrative voice is conflated with your characters voice at all right?
Bet you hit the thesaurus hard for that one. Why don't you show all the other anons in the class how many more big words you know. You're sure proving me wrong here, pal. I can't wait for another round of your dope arguments.
>>29443801
Stop projecting and post more of your writing already, my dude
>>29442817
Awesome. My Skype is pique_117
>>29443007
Mind helping me too?
Anyone else who wants to help, please add me on Skype.
>>29443890
I'd much rather see some of yours my man. My tense switching, trope addled tripe is clearly no match for your fresh beatz. I'd like to learn from the best :^)
>>29443930
Sure brother, I'll add you after work as well. It would be nice to get a small, comfy writing group together.
What kind of project are you doing?
>>29443946
Then go to the bookstore and buy something good to read, dumbass. Don't post for critiques if what you mean to do is fish for compliments
>>29444017
I don't want critiques or compliments, I just like arguing with people on the internet.
>>29444079
>4chan summed up in a single post
Writing a period piece about British colonials in Hong Kong, trying to get the cadence of a 12 year old snitch down.
"So we walked for a little bit and Nigel started throwing stones, and I checked my watch, and it was already eleven fifty-five, and I said 'If we're late for Latin again, Mr. MacMillan won't be happy', and he said 'I hate MR. MacMillan' and I told him he would get the cane if he didn't come back and he just said, 'Gee.'"
>>29443956
It's a short love story that's based on true events and how fate treats me so badly. To sum it up, over the summer, a guy meets a girl in a library who turns out to be his fourth grade crush.
>>29444155
I can see what you're going for and I like but, but there's just something slightly off about it that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe try putting 'so' instead of 'and' at more parts if you know what I mean. Might make it worse, but worth a try i think.
>>29444155
Works pretty well for what you want, to my eye.
I would offer that there are a few too many commas. You can string things together with just an 'and' without splitting them too much. For example--
>"So we walked for a little bit and Nigel started throwing stones, and I checked my watch and it was already eleven fifty-five, so I said --
Dropped the second comma, changed and to so (like the other anon suggested.) minor tweak, maybe it improves the flow? I'd recommend reading some passages by Cormac to look at long flow without commas.
It's not much for the cadence of a child, but it could help you figure out the right amount of variance
>>29444383
>>29444287
Yeah, I see what you're saying. If this was for a script (or I was going for full naturalism) there would be a lot of pauses and 'Um's between the separate parts. Scared of ellipsis, it reminds me of 14 year old girls on tumblr.
>>29444499
Yeah I'd say avoid ellipses and fuck naturalism, it's all cosmetic and too jarring for no real reason.
Looks good to me man. Post anything else if you like, I'd read more
>>29444581
Sure, I'll post the meat of the scene.
"Yeah, I mean, yes, sir. I just turned around and Nigel started following me, but he was jumping from rock to rock, so I told him to stop, but he wouldn't. Then he tripped and fell into the bushes; I told him 'that serves you right', but he didn't say anything, so I went to go see what happened and he said something, but I can't say."
"What?"
"A curse, sir."
"Ah."
"So I helped him up, but I heard something and looked over, and there was a man down the hill, he saw me too, I think."
"What was that?"
Jim could see the muscles in the Headmaster's neck sort of pulse, like when you take your foot off of a garden hose.
"There was a guy, a man, there, and I think he saw me."
The fan scanned the room before the Headmaster asked,
"Okay, so did you get a good look, see his face, what happened, boy?"
"He was wearing a uniform or something, sir, so I thought he was a solider, but I didn't see anyone else with him. I thought all of the soldiers were in the city, with the riots and all, you know, so I looked again and saw he was a Chinaman."
Morris rolled his hand around his wrist.
"Well, I didn't know Chinamen could be soldier, and I told Nigel, but he started running after I told him so I ran after him, and then I went to tell Mr. MacMillan we saw a Chinaman soldier, but he said that I shouldn't tell lies and said I should wait in the hall."
