So I've been coming here for a few years and all.
Met a lot of people from here, talked to them on skype and all that.
Yesterday I found out one person I haven't really been in contact with for a few years but met on 4chan years back (on /b/ but he was a 'robot' type person) had killed himself.
Just in a nutshell his problems were he was a 22 year old KV NEET, with major depression, anxiety, obese, transgender, and a severe cutting addiction. He also dropped out of middle school because of being bullied so bad. He sometimes had severe psychotic breaks.
Anyone who really knew him knew he wanted to die. So I had prepared myself for a long time to find out about news like this. It was basically his biggest wish and all that... Other than the depression and mental illness we just played video games and watched anime and all that typical NEET 'loser' type shit.
Since finding out though I knew I would be depressed but I didn't know I would be both terrified and angry. Anger at things I can't even pinpoint. Anger at 'Normies' (?) maybe but tons of other things tied into social/political reality. It's exhausting to hate and fear at the same time so intensely. And the fear I will end up like him. Dead NEET from suicide.
I literally can't keep living in darkness with suicidal thoughts or I WILL end up like him.
The pain is so bad it's almost like it changed me.
I don't like this place anymore. Every time someone hates themselves or someone else in here you are letting the normies win. Or letting all these social and media brainwash you and make you hate yourself. That's what they want. Don't let them win.
We can't keep going like this or we will die and you know it... I'm not sure exactly who or what the enemy is but if you don't forgive yourself for all the things you think are wrong in the world your going to drown in your pain.
The biggest act of rebellion you can do is love yourself.
My condolences OP. I feel like I'm trapped in a cage, I've never been able to be myself man...
>>29432511
It hurts that no one cares. Barely anyone knew him or cared. This terrifies me because I don't want to end up like that. I'm so scared for me and us, I know there is COUNTLESS people out there like me and him. The existential horror of it. Of thinking what does any of this shit mean? Why can't I be happy?WHY IS SHIT SO HARD? WHY?
Yea I figured this thread would get ignored because any post that's positive in anyway will get drowned out in a mad sea of trolling, trigger warnings, and buzz word using to offend people.
>>29432661
If your posts give just a few people on here some motivation, you will have already made a huge impact. I read before that through 5 people you know the whole world or something. So if even one person leaves r9k feeling more positive today you might indirectly make the lives of tons of people a little better. Their family and friends, their teachers, their colleagues... Stay positive and keep spreading positivity. Just don't lose track of your own desires and feelings and allow yourself to be happy too so you can go on being there for the people who care a lot about you too.
>>29432810
Lol I know who you are, you d on't count as a reply.
I can't prevent myself from saying really negative things but I'll keep going on. Maybe someday I'll get to a better place. Maybe I'll be able to encourage others to push through the bullshit.
>>29432511
looks are fucking everything,
i did a tinder experiment with male model pics and i acted autistic as fuck, like fucking low functioning asperger
they were still up for it
>>29433049
Tinder is a shallow platform by definition. If you do the same thing on lolcow you will probably get called out by the girls there for being an asshole.
>>29432511
>The biggest act of rebellion you can do is love yourself.
Damn
OP is dropping wisdom
>>29433049
I'm reluctant to post him because I KNOW people will be mean on here even if they relate. Even if they are worse looking than him. Even if they feel bad for us both and want to type something nice.
But yes he was 'ugly' or considered himself pretty ugly. He hated his body as much as any person humanly could. He was about 400 lbs. He was trans but had a lot of body hair that he hated. He would say over and over that he was going to die a kissless virgin and then he did...
But it's not all about looks there is exceptions to everything.
>>29433195
But what does it fucking matter I knew that 'looks is everything!' post was coming. I'm just waiting for red pill people to come in and wreck any positivity that I could of possibly provided.
>>29433228
Because I'm a loser too this is just the fucking blind leading the blind.
>>29433195
Sounds like a degenerate. Does it really bother you this much that people like him can't find happiness in the world? Some people are just born fucked, and I wouldn't want to live in a world where people like that can continue living when they don't make the effort to change themselves.
>>29433275
>Dies a kissless virgin
>degenerate
This is why you are single!
>>29433296
Only degenerates kill themselves. That fact he was a 400lb ugly loser doesn't help his case.
>>29433322
Sorry to break it to you summer child but you literally know nothing about life, do you?
>>29433339
No that's why I'm posting on /r9k/. My point still stands, dude sounds worthless, what point is there in feeling for someone like that?
>>29433376
Because I have similar problems.
We were both abused as children. We are both queer faggots, we both have major depression, we both have anxiety, we are both basically awkward and cringe as piss, we both went through periods of poverty, we both experienced suicidal thoughts.
>>29433395
We both got nervous around women, we both found it hard to leave the house, we both found it hard to make eye contact, we both had psychotic breaks before, we experienced similar anger, we played video games together, we watched the same shows, we shared music, we shared movies, we did things together, he kept me company.
Have you heard of having a soul?
>>29433395
Society doesn't want you. No one wants you. Sounds like YOU don't even want you. Might as well disappear.
>>29433422
We told each other the other one mattered.
>>29433432
How are you so sure just because of the things I listed?
>>29433422
>Have you heard of having a soul?
Empathy for trash is not a virtue. You basically found a mirror and try to convince yourself that you matter. Your validation was as empty to them as theirs is to you.
>>29433456
Because if its because of the things I listed you are shallow, vapid, and probably really young and materialistic. You probably know the least about what people want than anyone else here. I'd love to see the mental gymnastics a person like you would have to do to believe that they mattered to someone else.
>>29433456
Just picking up the clues anon. Am I wrong?
>>29433475
Why would someone care about you if you have no kindness. Does your car, muscles, and cell phone make you worth something? Because if shallow vapid bullshit makes you feel like you have value I'd rather be a fat pathetic outcast queer homo degenerate, thanks.
>>29433475
If it ultimately leads OP to self-improvement i'd day it's worthy .
What he shouldn't do is act as if the live he's living is " normiies" fault
>>29433516
You obviously don't prefer it as you are miserabl and bitter
>>29433516
Does your car, muscles, and cell phone make you worth something? Because if shallow vapid bullshit makes you feel like you have value I'd rather be a fat pathetic outcast queer homo degenerate, thanks.
Makes me worth more than you. I earned my life, you certainly earned yours.
>>29433493
No, if you are the type of person I'd have to deal with to ingratiate in society than you are 100% correct about me. I'll gladly and shamelessly be a complete 'worthless' loser. I will happily call myself that if the other option is to be someone as empty and weak as you.
>>29433521
If only. Anyone weak enough to blame their faults on others is probably too weak to change.
>>29433548
Your right. I earned all the people who love me and I them in life and I'm sure you earned whatever people you managed to scare into being nice to you do, sociopath.
>>29433550
Nice comeback brah, sure got me good. Guess I'll go back to enjoying life, what have you got planned after this? Here's hoping it keeps you from killing yourself like OP's friend :^)
>>29433568
Earned all those good boy points too :^).
>>29433581
I am OP you retard. Lol.
Fuck this kind of makes me feel good I did struggle and feel pain in life. Now I didn't turn out like a sociopathic asshole like you. Have fun enjoying your empty bullshit.
>>29433493
I bet your happy because you drive a Mercedes and go to the club every night, hurrr.
Die fucking normal scum.
Why are you here? If your life is so fun then go do it. Why are you on an anonymous forum for losers? Please continue posting about how people deserve to kill themselves. Makes you look really happy and well adjusted!
>>29433602
Retards like you are the worst. Probably the first to point out that all the normies who would suddenly go "oh how sad that he killed himself RIP in peace I'll miss him :(((" is hypocrisy and then pretend that your empathy for people like this makes you a good person. Empathy for trash isn't a virtue. The fact that you feel bad for trash like your friend just shows how small you are. But hey bro, keep a chin up, would hate to hear about your suicide.
>>29433602
Please spend your time telling me about all the normie things you are going to do today. I'm sure a real normal would come here and shove it in suffering victims faces too! It's like your so happy and well adjusted you just have to go shove it in peoples faces while telling others to kill themselves. That must be really well adjusted and really happy. I bet you stomp on small animals too. What a big boy! This is all defiantly what a real man does!
>>29433624
I'm closer to a robot to a normie, but unlike a robot I don't begrudge normies for their fun. I don't blame others for my life or make excuses like OP does for his friend
>>29433602
Everyone has complicated lives. Everyone has troubles. Only weak people seriously contemplate suicide. Your friend was not killed by the hatred of normies or by the cruel fate of hand. They were too weak to man up and face life, and took the coward's way out.
>>29433632
Dude bro I agree! Wouldn't it be better if instead of encouraging these degenerates to kill themselves we just went to their degenerate gay club and killed them for them?
I hate gays btw, I'm DEFIANTLY not one of them.
Just like how you DEFIANTLY have a great life and are happy even though you are actively trying to hurt people. This is just what men do huh? Be big tough alphas! No homo.
>>29433669
Op here, I agree with you to some extent.
>>29433644
>I'm sure a real normal would come here and shove it in suffering victims faces too!
>Loser kills himself because >tfw no gf :(
>suffering victims
The only suffering victim is everyone who has to deal with the retards death (sans OP since he is a fag).
Do not feed the trolls
OP my friend I had a stage where I was very sad and I had nothing to live for. Games were just frustrating
I made some friends in a new game and now I'm really having fun again, it's been a long time since I don't laugh
Now that I'm having fun I'm happy and I have a brighter hope for the future. Not everything here is fucked up. After all, as long as I live I have the chance to be happy And as long as I am happy I have a reason to live.
Just love yourself, your life is about you and you only after all. You don't need validation from normals and girls
>>29433671
Fucking finally. Seriously, I lay the bait and no one bites. Here goes. Ma, get the camera, bout to lay down a sic(k) meme
>implying I think he's a degenerate because he's gay
Actually it was the 400lbs that gave it away :^)
>>29432511
Hey OP seems like he was one of the several things that make you not really a human or worthy of love or sympathy: Trans, ugly, mentally ill. OBVIOUSLY he was bullied for a reason. Bullying is the earths way of cleaning up the waste of the world. If you are so similar to him, you should defiantly kill yourself. If you've tried before you should try again and get it right like your friend did.
>It's a special "OP gets BTFO and throws an autistic fit" episode
>>29433740
>Bullying is the earths way of cleaning up the waste of the world.
I hope this isn't bait. You said it perfectly. Anyone who gets bullied is usually asking for it.
>>29433713
He wasn't gay he was a trans m2f lesbian, fucking Trump voter.
>>29433760
Do you a come here to make fun of people hoping they will kill themselves?
>>29433810
Yes. Pic related. Still hating every single one of you since 2005.
>>29433810
Only when I see the seed of self hatred already planted. It helps me deal with my issues.
>>29432511
>I don't like this place anymore. Every time someone hates themselves or someone else in here you are letting the normies win. Or letting all these social and media brainwash you and make you hate yourself. That's what they want. Don't let them win.
No one is trying to "win" against you. They just don't give a shit about you, and why would they? Believe it or not, even "normies" deal with problems in their life. The fact that you've been coming here for years says a lot about your mindset, you think you are seperate from other people. That it's some sort of battle between you and the rest of the world.
The battle is against yourself. You have to overcome your problems and you're not gonna do that by feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others.
This is coming from a recovering NEET. I've been coming here for years aswell but I never let the half ironic memes take over my entire reality.
>>29433877
You want to see people kill themselves and you are claiming you are happy?
>>29433884
Normies don't have real problems, you dumb newfag.
>>29433884
Op here. I agree with a lot of this though I think its worded a bit harsh, but I'm not trying to blame anyone just the anger has to come out somewhere and it's way more abstract than just blaming one group of people.
>The battle is against yourself.
Agreed. That's why I was saying to rebel against yourself by loving yourself.
>>29433929
>Agreed. That's why I was saying to rebel against yourself by loving yourself.
The negative side or whatever.
>>29433889
Yeah I dunno. I'm really having fun here, I don't do this often but damn is it fun. I also troll and shittalk in video games at the drop of the hat, it must be related.
>>29432511
My deepest condolences for your friend, and also everything you must be going through right now. Though we were never close, I had two acquaintances who committed suicide. One of them was a friend's mom, and now 4 years later he's still not quite the same person. He's doing pretty decent for himself but I wish who he used to be would come back...feeling confused and angry is natural OP, but don't let this change you for the worse, your friend wouldn't want that.
As for the picture and everyone saying "looks are everything", with women personality and confidence is much more important. Your looks represent your level of maturity and how much you take care of yourself (reflecting stability), but that's about it. Natural good looks are really not that important if you're actually looking for love. If I'm being completely honest, I'm not an attractive man. My hair's naturally pretty shit, huge nose, skinnyfat, non-athletic and 5'6''. I've found love with someone who (if we're talking looks alone) is way out of my league, and once even told her that back when she was still with her ex I'd tell my friends that I didn't care and that one day we'd be together. She said that was really cute but admitted that hearing it from anyone else it'd sound creepy as fuck.
I guess what I'm trying to say is just be happy. Like you said, love yourself. Care for yourself, have confidence in yourself and don't give a fuck about any shallow negativity that comes your way. That's the most attractive thing a person can do.
>>29433906
Please be bait. You don't actually believe that do you?
>>29433929
>Agreed. That's why I was saying to rebel against yourself by loving yourself.
No. stop accepting mediocrity. Hold yourself to a higher standard. Change yourself for the better. Whatever you do, do NOT ACCEPT THE WAY THINGS ARE. If you are unhappy with yourself do something about it.
- If you want to know about your current condition, look at your past actions. If you wish to know about your future condition, look at your present actions.
>>29433945
Op here, this is what my friend liked to do. He would bully people while being hundreds of times more pathetic than they were. Pretty much the biggest sign that you are not happy or normal at all. I bet you wouldn't go into detail about what makes you better than my friend who committed suicide because there is nothing better than you about it. You see yourself in me and in him and you hate yourself.
>>29433906
Hey I bet this guys >>29433982 biggest problems in life were which pair of pants to wear from the gap.
>>29433985
I lift.
Srs though I'm only unhappy that I am not as normie as I could be.
>>29433982
loving yourself and accepting a bad situation are two totally different things. Like, are you saying a fat person shouldn't love themself until they lose that weight?
I mean, I get what you're saying but it's worded pretty badly. No one should ever not love themself, and they should let that love for themselves act as motivation to be the best person they can be.
>>29432511
funny ... thought the same. pic related
>>29433929
>Op here. I agree with a lot of this though I think its worded a bit harsh, but I'm not trying to blame anyone just the anger has to come out somewhere and it's way more abstract than just blaming one group of people.
Yea I guess the anger is understandable, as long as you don't let it consume you for to long and let it develop into hate.
You can definitely overcome your challenges, you've been able to make friends online and you sound like you have a mature personality. Wish you luck mate.
>>29434048
>Like, are you saying a fat person shouldn't love themself until they lose that weight?
That's exactly what I am saying. This HAES is literally consuming American people and it's spreading to the rest of western culture. And not just fatties, you see it every where, no one strives for greatness anymore, mediocrity is celebrated and praised and actual virtues like self-discipline is being mocked.
>>29434044
>I lift.
Hey girl here. Just been reading through the thread and lurking. I don't post often. I'm normal so I'm new too.
The fact that you think that lifting makes you better than OP's friend who was obese makes me lose respect for you completely and also partly agree with what OP is saying about you.
I lifted in the past but mostly jog, swim, ride horses, and do mixed martial arts to stay in shape. I just don't think it makes me better or more worthy of love/life than anyone else.
That's why OP is partially right about you being pathetic.
>>29434102
Sorry, thought of one more thing that makes me better.I'm alive.
>>29434094
>actual virtues like self-discipline is being mocked.
No one is mocking self discipline.
>>29434133
>>29434094
If you are in shape post a pic with a time stamp and I will too this is me:
>>29434102
Face does not have to show. Muscles don't even have to show, just as long as it proves you aren't obese. If you can't do it you are lying.
>>29434094
Edgy
>>29434151
I think he's talking about Nicki Minaj and other shitty people in pop culture saying stuff like "fuck you if you a skinny bitch" in their songs.
What he doesn't get though, is that he's a fucking retard and only other fucking retards take things like that to heart.
>>29434133
I'm sure your parents would agree that you being alive isn't all that great a thing.
>>29433669
suicide is the ultimate red-pill it is the ultimate system-breaker it is the ultimate assertion of self-control it is the ultimate rebellion against your biological urges
being "strong" for the sake of being "strong" in the face of your worldly suffering is nothing but sillyness
life handed you literal shit and you glorify yourself by embracing your shitty genetics the epitome of unchangable injustice
if the slave suffers he makes it a virtue to bravely endure it to be "strong"
but this is just another form of the slave morality
if something shits on you you make it a virtue to endure it
if someone enslaves you you make it a virtue to be obedient
the guy who killed himself was massively raped by his life and he did not chose to be a slave like you would but he chose to break free
you are a faggot
>>29434173
Same person here I'm still waiting. I can create a trip fag, my friend showed me how, I can create one.
I believe OP when he said you are more pathetic than his friend who killed himself. I don't think you can post a pic of your supposed good looks. No matter how good they are or how bad OP and his friends looks are I'd rather hook up with one of them and give them my virginity than someone like you. Because they seem kind. My friend told me that hook ups or having sex is what mostly makes a person a normie on this board. So if I had to choose someone to give that gift to it would never be someone like you. Doesn't matter what you look like. Don't really care if you are the hottest guy on earth. Empathy wins over looks.
prove your a girl so that you can restore an infinitesimal jot of faith in the female gender
>>29434589
youre*
organic comment
>>29434468
I'm still waiting. I'll post my body in clothing and the trip time and date and board. I only offer to do this because you seem just the level of shallow that you would only respond to proof and physical evidence.
I was told that sex is what matters to a lot of people on this board. Which it matters to me too. If I had to choose someone to have sex with it would be almost anyone other than a person who tells others to kill themselves anonymously who are in pain or who implies that someone's suicide was a good thing.
>>29433740
>>29433760
>Anyone who gets bullied is usually asking for it.
Given the choice between having sex with you in the perfect setting or having my dog take a shit and then put that shit in the freezer and then later using that shit to try to break open my hymen, I'd choose the shit because that's how much a person like you disgusts me. Good luck trying to convince people you are better than them. You are not.
> transgender
Good riddance. One less degenerate to purge
>>29434589
It might take me a min to prepare.
My god, sometimes /r9k/ just sticks its head up its own ass. This thread is just an example of it.
>>29432511
>I'm not sure exactly who or what the enemy is
you ain't got no enemy, kiddo
get a job, work hard, and most of all be GRATEFUL
then maybe you'll be a success like me and my generation
>>29434133
>I'm alive
Holy shit, you're actually a monster.
>>29432511
>we will die
The robot type NEET loser is assured death either quickly by his own hand or slowly by the process of aging eating away anything he ever loved. The more aware of us know this. It is horrifying to think about. I'm sorry for your loss.
>>29434102
I'm an ugly loser and not that great a person either so I wouldn't deserve to be with someone like you but it gives me some hope to see someone like you in a shithole like 4chan.
He ran away didn't he? That person was the worse kind of bully. To pick on people who are in pain.
>>29434822
maybe he offed himself familia
Bump.
>>29434819
Maybe I will. Pretty obvious the other guy ran off and that's disappointing to me.
>>29435198
He is probably waiting for this thread to die so he can stop caring.
>>29435198
Maybe you will what?
>>29432511
I love you anon! That was well written.
>>29435415
Sorry meant maybe Ill post a pic but I dont think it matters, thanks btw.
>>29435526
please post the pic famalam i cant wrap my mind around the alleged fact that girls are on le 4chin
>>29435526
I've never seen a nice girl's body.
>>29433847
underrated post
on OP:
What you're looking at is just a screen with words on it. What I'm composing here are just sentences to reason with you.
Just look away. Stay away. Go away until none of it matters to you anymore. Fix your life by deciding to live it. Whatever that means to you.
>>29432511
I like you, OP. Very well written. We need more of this on /r9k/. Fuck the world. I hope anons see this and find the strength to keep fighting, to live in spite of it all. Personally that's what keeps me going - like Camus & Sisyphus. If we don't let them break us we won't be broken.
Rage, Robos, rage against the dying of the light.
>>29432511
Sucks man. Never let yourself get consumed by self-hatred. I had such a time, I was depressive, had feelings of guilt and did self-harm. I hated myself.
I had a more or less okay period afterwards without at least hating myself, guilt and self-harm but it ended in psychosis and a mental hospital.
But I survived all that and for the last few years I have been learning to love myself and start to be proud that I managed to keep ongoing after all the shit I've been through.
There was a lady who really helped me accept myself. She seemed to honestly like me. A goofy and caring women she was. Makes me all teary thinking about it. Sucks that I went psychotic again and send her delusional messages. But yeah gotta keep moving on.
I liked this quote from Confusius: "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
>>29432511
Does giving oral sex to a grill but telling her no when she wants you to stick it in make you a virgin still? I want to be pure when I get married so this is important.
>>29432511
>The biggest act of rebellion you can do is love yourself.
this is really insightful
thank you for your post
Bump for positivity.
>>29436135
Honestly one of the best ways I've ever heard it phrased. Good job OP.
>>29437028
>>29436135
Thanks I thought it up myself too. I'm proud now.
>>29437956
>>29432511
This whole post is really good OP. Thanks.
