Who /devilish/ here?
>Be gay
>Don't tell my parents
>Be in a nurturing relationship with a girl who has fallen hard for me
AND SHE DOESNT SUSPECT A THING
>girlfriend is totally plain vanilla girl
>tries super hard but is boring in bed
>secretly talk to men behind her back
>trade nudes and cyber with them
>acting more distant, gf is distraught
>she confronts me about it one day
>found text from two guys i slept with
>snooped more and found trap porn
>breaks down thinking its her fault
>"i should have tried harder uhuuu :'("
>forgive and say we can make it work
>secretly keep pounding on the BP
>>29429046
How do I find qt boypucci to pound? I am a virgin with no idea on any of that sort of stuff
>>29429080
colleges are ripe breeding grounds
there's always some gay kid whose number 1 dream in life is getting ass raped in your apartment, ALWAYS
it helps if you're attracted to men too
>>29429203
I've been a straight male all my life and recently I've had the urge to be fucked in the ass by a stronger male
>go through checkout at groceries
>grab my bags
>checkout chick says have a nice day
>thanks, you too
>I actually don't give a shit
>neither do they
D E V I L I S H
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I blackmail young professional women, particularly unfaithful wives, into extreme sex acts that they would not otherwise perform consensually.
>>29429308
oh yeah most of them are totally normal not even faggy traps or anything
like, sportsball players, had girlfriends, but secretly resent their maleness and want to be the little girl
then they go off to college and nobody's around to judge them
and oh hey what's up it's me a sexy older guy here and ready to FUCK you
>look up heartfelt pleas for lost dogs on Craigslist
>go to pound and find a similar looking dog
>call owner and tell them I have their dog, answer yes to any questions regarding specifics of their dog
>they come to pick it up and are devastated to learn I have the wrong dog
>even better when they bring young children with them so I can see them cry
>after all is said and done take dog back to pound or have it put to sleep if pound won't take it
>>29429456
Thats a lot of time spent on a sick joke...
DEVILISH
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>>29429456
Fucking Satan in the flesh over here
>>29428899
I am the same way anon. No one suspects I'm gay. It makes getting a boyfriend a lot tougher though. I have had girls all over me yet I still remain a kissless virgin because I am gay. I refuse to date guys who are feminine or flamboyant so that makes it very hard to get a date. Thought I would share.
>>29429490
only takes a couple hours desu. I'm NEET so who cares.
>>29429080
If you look half decent Grindr, Craigslist or Tinder can work wonders.
>>29429456
>putting dogs to sleep for fun
Fucking kys nigger, I hope you get ripped apart by dogs in an ironic death
>>29430769
>moralfagging on /r9k/
>be forced to go to a restaurant
>go to the bathroom to pee
>notice that somebody is making poops in the stall
>turn off the light on my way out
>at dinner with parents
>say I couldn't eat another bite
>I could
D E V I O U S
>>29429456
You're pure evil
>living with girlfriend and her mom at age 19
>her mom meets a guy and we all move into a new place
>gf becomes fast friends with his stepdaughter, 3some is discussed but doesn't happen because stepdaughter is hotter than gf
>dude is a schizo EMT and has cop buddies show up and throw me out because he didn't like that I smoked weed, girlfriend didn't lift a finger to defend me, broke up with the bitch
>file report, name names, one cop is suspended for threats, whatever
>EMT dude still hasn't owned up
>get ahold of his ex wife, she hated him at that point and had a friend of hers contact him with casual flirting
>he agrees to meet this woman at her place after things escalate
>red team go, close the net
>he gets sold out, just as planned, messages are shown to exes mother
>they split, he can't afford rent on his income alone at the new place
But anon, you say, what about your bitch ex? She got off easy? Did she, senpai?
>fuck asshole EMT's hot stepdaughter, turns out she was down with anal, take pics and send to ex
I think I handled that well enough.
>be straight
>pretend to be gay on grinder and have guys come over and give me free blowjobs
I'm not even memeing here
>>29431018
>tfw I don't know if I'm actually gay or straight or just so desperate I'm willing to have sex with guys
>>29431010
Tl;dr: my god is a god of vengeance
This should go without saying, but EMT dude downsized to an apartment and his credit took a hit. He doesn't know I fucked his stepdaughter, but I feel like I got an eye for the eye he took.
>>29430911
I AM NECESSARY EVIL.
