who else here /put up walls/? I haven't had friends for a long time because of this, and will probably be the cause of me never getting a girlfriend. I find it basically impossible to 'connect' with people, as I pretty much can't share anything personal about myself. I assume that I began doing this in high school, after my 'friends' fucked me over. I can make small talk and joke with people, but that's pretty much it. it is not possible for me to achieve relationships any deeper than this.
If I don't let anyone in no one can hurt me.
>>29424747
Lots of people do. Just don't let it be a huge detriment to you. You trying to protect yourself doesn't mean that you should hurt yourself at the same time.
didnt realise it until I read this, but this seems to be my problem too
Normalfreind here, so if that's a deal breaker stop reading, but putting up walls can't stop people from hurting you. Even worse, eventually just seeing them, living without those walls, will hurt you. Being alone hurts. Yep, connecting to people is a risk, most people suck. But don't think that by not taking that risk you've really protected yourself, you just changed the type of hurt to a slower more hopeless pain.
>>29424806
Do not listen to this cunt OP
>If I don't let anyone in no one can hurt me.
Exactly. Don't forget everyone is out to hurt you anon. If they're nice to you it's because they have some ulterior motive.
Maybe Im just too far gone but I dont understand whats wrong with doing that.
>>29424806
>you just changed the type of hurt to a slower more hopeless pain.
Stop putting the blame on me faggot. I never did shit.
>>29424747
I didn't put the walls up. I just won't take them back down.
I argued with a friend and she "attempted suicide" because I wouldn't talk to her any more. Everyone else stopped talking to me after that.
My ex-best friend even sent me pictures of them together without me on my birthday. It was the only texts I got except the one from my mum.
Pulling down those walls will only make it hurt more.
>>29424806
this guy might be right tbqh but it also might just be me being bitter and hating everyone and their stupid dumb shitty lives
>>29424747
I kind of know this feel.
25 now. Since age 18 I've been in one relationship after another, only trusting my girlfriends and fuckbuddies, each one taking a little more of me.
Haven't had one male friend to open up to in 5 years with the exception of a 30 year old dude a state away who's an occasional drinking buddy at best.
We talk about our treatments (both fucked mentally in different ways) and he buys the drinks when we hang out because I'm his depressed buddy and he makes good money.
My most recent ex was perfect, I fucked her best friend after an argument and a breakup, her friend seemed wonderful but was one of those fake-ass drama lovers who just wanted to fuck me for my looks and because I'm hung. Wound up single and realized I'm just a piece of meat to most women. Every pretty girl who flirts with me is trash in my eyes, they're all the same. I want to die most nights, I lay awake and wonder how long it would take for somebody to find my body if I OD'd.
Tl;dr: spent my life fucking womynz to feel a connection and that ultimately left me feeling empty with only one friend in the world
>>29425009
CHAD OUT CHAD OUT CHAD OUT
*deep inhale*
RRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29425009
Fuck off you piece of niggershit
>>29425082
If this is what Chad winds up with, nobody should envy those guys.
Shit's sad man.
>>29425082
>>29425111
The fuck guys? I didn't expect anybody to empathize but why the hostility?
Also: check'd those trips
>>29424915
Truth. Seriously this is the only reason anything ever happens.
>>29425279
I disagree.
>>29425009
Here and I've known a few genuinely decent people, just never felt connected to them. It's like there are so few decent people that I feel guilty inflicting myself on them and stay away as a result.
It's sad, but a lot of people put up walls because they feel that they don't deserve happiness, subconscious or otherwise, they avoid good people and healthy relationship prospects out of reflex.
At least that's what my shrink says, my decisions make a lot more sense in that context.
>>29424747
yeah i do this all the time. been in your position of letting too much information about myself that it gets used against me
same problem, you're not alone
>>29425338
>I disagree.
Can you please expand on that?
>>29425009 >>29425120
desu i feel like the knee jerk chad hostility prevents us from seeing how both they and we fuck up and feel so lonely. like, if this guy wasn't getting pussy and just had friends we'd welcome him with open arms and pictures of memes feeling sad. the desperation to Get Laid is an entirely different impulse from the need to escape loneliness and i think this proves it
>>29425504
I did, the entire post below that.
Look at it this way: are you a dick who only wants to use people? A lot of 'betas' think their kindness forces them to be doormats or recluses but there are decent people out there who luck out and manage to be totally functional and sane.
They're rare, but I've seen them. Not just "hold the door at the stoee that extra second when you're carrying stuff to help you out" decent people, "be friends with a sad dude who's had a rough go at life not out of pity but because they inderstand the feel and know he's got a good heart" kind of people exist.
Many people on this board would be that guy if they could beat their social phobias back, they could pay it forward, some of them do.
/r9k/ isn't a death-sentence.
i find a good trial run for letting down your defenses is to make an account on some forum or even a tumblr community that's not connected to the rest of your identity at all, and try being emotionally honest there. if taking down your walls results in you getting burned, you can just make another account with a whole new name and try again while avoiding the people that burned you
>>29425570
Thanks, anon. I'm not a player, I'm a mentally ill dude who happened to be born with a decent face.
I'm not proud of the way I've lived, I don't look back on most of my life fondly, I escaped the only way I knew how.
I don't expect many here to 'get it' but that's what it is. Self-medication with people in place of chemicals.
>>29424747
>If I don't let anyone in no one can hurt me.
No, you'll just keep hurting yourself.
>>29425603
I understand, thank you.
What you wrote is also very pleasant to read. I dont know why
>>29425726
Would've proof-read if I knew anybody would screen it. Glad somebody liked a post of mine, later senpai
I've put walls up walls all my life, I finally let someone in (another robot actually) and he broke me
I can relate.
I'm always observing the people who try to get close to me and if they do something I deem unfair or something I pull the plug for good even if I've shared good times with them.
The last time I tried having friends it was fun but they demanded attention all the time. I had gotten my first job after being neet for years so it was overwhelming and I cut contact for a while.
During a holiday I was planning to have them over and I got a text from one of them all of a sudden that said I was an awful friend. I got pissed off and dropped them.
Friends are a waste of time and money
