You will never be your father
You will never be your older brother
You will always be you, and no one can change that
and that's okay.
feel better robot, from your pal tony
Actually i'm pretty sure the godhead encompasses us, so like jesus we are our own father.
>you will always be you and no one can change that
Is this suppose to make me cry or make me feel better?
If I was my older brother, I'd be dead. That's more appealing than being me. At least if our fates were swapped, he'd have made better use of this life due to his better and more outgoing personality. Whereas I can only waste the lifespan he would have made better use of, and know that if he could look at me now he'd be disappointed. I'm too far gone.
>>29418649
But the only time I smile is when people are watching, anon
>>29418718
theres no such thing as too far gone anon, you can still fix this, go out there and make your brother proud
We believe in you friend
my dad's great and all, but i wouldn't want to BE him
i'm the eldest son and i'm pretty sure my brothers will never want to be me either
also, fuck off. my brain is fucked, i'm always going to be miserable
>>29418814
Unfortunately, I can't fix the thing I'd want to fix the most. When something is made truly impossible because of your own personality and insecurity, you're forced to get over it. I can't even blame anything else, I can only blame myself for the fact I have to move on. There isn't even a choice. He'd be disappointed because such a situation became a reality, that I ended up in this situation solely because of insecurity. And now, even long after the fact, it's weighing me down. He'd be disappointed. The only way to make him proud is to somehow get over absolutely all of it, even despite knowing it's only necessary to get over it because of me.
In the same situation, he would have avoided the whole issue completely. Maybe he'd have another kind, but he wouldn't have this one. He wouldn't have had the insecurity that led to it. He wouldn't be forced to move on from wanting something and forced to brush himself off as a result of himself. Maybe circumstance, but not himself.
I can work on trying to fix other factors, but ultimately, I can't fix what I'd want to fix the most. That will always be something closed off as a result of being me. And all things that stem from that impossibility, such as needing to move on, is only there as a result of me.
I can't truly make him proud, because I can't fix something so important.
