TALK THREAD
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Lets talk about:
philosophy, your life, projects, the feels,
just whats on the horizon
>philosophy
Abstract Racism
>life
how much shit can one person bear
>projects
revenge
>feels
o god
>>29384191
>interested
what feeling over come you that a sentence can't conceive it in it's entirety? Is it linked with the plotting, with the revenge?
I remember you, I saw your other thread a bit back. I just lurked.
I've never been a smart person, OP. I could never get a handle on actual philosophy. I'm a pessimist, I guess. Then if something good happens it's a nice surprise, but not much lost if the worst happens.
Almost all my life I've lived for another person. Everything I've done has been for him. I've agreed to go to a shrink, but even my attempt to try and get better is for another person.
If I can get better, I'd like to want something. To do something with my life for myself. Even my initial vision of what I'd like my life to be like after I got better involved the other person. But now I'd like to paint again, I think.
Enjoy my Duke cosplay friend
>>29384394
I'm glad you make yourself noticed anon, that's what the thread is for. There needs to be a moment of recollection of all your human tendencies in the haze of unfiltered degenerate rants. If you don't, you start to lose your grip on humanity, even more than you already had.
>but even my attempt to try and get better is for another person
did you ever take any of theses twisted mind sessions as a tool for your own benefit? Or did you always view it as a sort of contract, that had to be concluded, resolved, by a given time?
>But now I'd like to paint again, I think
You have to be certain man. You cant have an undecided opinion on the rest of your life.
Let me ask you something. With the decicions you have made, the ones that were in your righteous control, are you happy? Not satisfied, but happy. Happy you made that decision because it's what you wanted, what your desires egged you towards
>>29384423
He seems like a relatively respectable citizen. Multiple felon perhaps, but, certainly not dangerous
>>29384545
I haven't started therapy yet. Next week. The person, my brother, really does want to see me better. I know know there are selfish reasons behind that want from him, but everything is at least a bit selfish. I know he wants the big brother that raised him back on some level. And he always did like taking care of sad things, always brought home injured birds and strays as a kid.
I don't mean as a career. I haven't even drawn in years. But I used to love painting. At this point the most I can hope for is something that makes me content.
I'm not sure sometimes how many of the decisions I made as a kid were really valid considering their nature. It depends on my mood. I'm a shut-in drunk, but I see how well my brother turned out and I feel a bit of peace for a moment. Or something like it. My brother never asked me to take on all I did, still doesn't know. I wanted something good and pure in my life. I got it. Didn't get much else, though.
>>29384579
>I know know there are selfish reasons behind that want from him
Please, expand on this. Don't tell me this like a child showing its abstract macaroni&cheese art to a confused parent. What is he getting out of this? Or is this referring to him getting his older brother back, the one that planted seed on positive humanity in him, not by way of words, but my favorite; by action. Leading by example. The true form of learning for conceiving beings.
Anyway, you clearly have something here that still has your name tag on it. Expressing yourself thru art. An emotional gasket that seems to have been neglected.
Anon I want you to do something, for yourself. I don't know when the last time was that you did something for yourself, where the only affected person would be you. Only you will know of these actions and only you will reap the benefits.
Find a blank notebook, or a piece of paper and a pen. Draw what you believe the be the visual manifestation of what you feel this upcoming week will be. It doesn't have to be a grand ,aster piece. It simply has to embody that feeling. It can be an alien. It can be a car crash.
Whatever it is, is has to be clear, under what context, it is representing. So when you are one, put today's date on the back, and years from now, if you haven't burned it or pawned it, you will see it. You will feel puzzled, and you will turn it over, and be transported back to this moment
Philosophy is best done over a shower beer and shirtless masturbation
don't expect a board full of <90 iq manchildren to understand even a single bit of philosophy, anon.
they probably think they're "nihilists" and love "nietzsche".
>>29385338
well then it's up tho of us who have passed their mental state, the hump that is emotional collapse and distress, know show them that their is more than 100 paths in life. Everything in their conceived world is limited by family members, times, and locations.The best we can do is use this medium to exercise their mind, and have them make a corner for eloquence so they, as individuals, can remark themselves as more evolved, as growing. And those that, for their own reasons choose to remain ignorant, oblivion awaits them. The meeting ground for those that choose bliss over truth
>>29384175
I'm not diagnosed but I actually do have a mild form of autism, it was only when I accepted I wasn't normal was when I could work creating an act to appear more normal.
Good thing is some things can become piss easy for me for example if got obsessed with a language then I'd likely learn it with ease ect. But in all honesty this shit fuckers your social skills and makes legit like trying to guess whats on the other side of a blurred window or trying to cut the right wire on a bomb.
>tfw theres no cure
>>29384175
Hedonism then death, that is all.
>>29385448
the thing is anon, these people are VERY narcissistic. as in, egoistical. anything that disrupts their delusional view point created by these group of anons. they believe they're some kind of quasi biological scientists who know the "hierarchies" and "meanings" behind shit, and even if you try to prove them wrong, they'll simply deduct themselves to mindless insults such as the popular fedora, beta, reddit, manlet, cuck, etc.
>A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
>>29385303
only take beer when liquor isn't available. Take liquor when cannabis isn't available. Take cannabis when Salvia isn't available. Take salvia when MDMA isn't available. Take MDMA when Ayahuasca isn't available. Take Ayahuasca when LSD isn't available. Take LSD when DMT isn't available. Take DMT when your notice God left us a long time ago, and romanticizing about one is a set back to humanity, clinging to the weakest links in our society
>>29385486
that's one way to look at it. But the beginning and the end accounts for almost nothing, except it's own existence. What matters is what lies in between, the trip, the stars, the clouds upon which you sit on, where they levitate, and who you look down upon, and who you will never know sits above you. The journey is always more important than the destination Bobby
>>29385078
After our parents died I did my best to raise him. I couldn't do everything, wasn't perfect, but I made him lunches for school, helped him work through his problems, and protected him from abuse. I think I used taking care of my brother as a means to avoid dealing with losing my parents. I didn't lead much by example past never really doing any sort of rebellious kid things, I just tried to keep up with what he needed. Part of me thinks now he's using me as a cause to distract himself with. Most of his friends have been asses lately, so he's been a bit lost.
He had always been a happier kid than I ever was, kinder. The birds are just an example. He brought one that was barely twitching home, so I asked him to get something and snapped its neck. I tried to make it up with the injured hawk we found, I still have scars. We saved the hawk. But he wanted to take care of that songbird and I killed it.
Maybe I've just been overthinking my life in the worst life for lack of other things to ruminate on, but is there really any pure act of selflessness? Agape, isn't that the ancient Greek word for it? I remember reading about that form of love and at first thinking how noble it sounded. But now it just seems a bit unhealthy to be so slavishly devoted to another. Have you ever done something selfless? Utterly selfless?
I'm probably not making sense. I've only been working through these things recently and it's been a lot to think about. There's nothing I can say more intelligent people haven't. The bird thing was hard to admit. Especially with father's day.
That isn't a bad idea with the drawing. I'll hide it in the pages of a book I don't pick up often.
>>29384394
Hah are you a mommy living for your tendie munching NEET son?
>>29385514
I know this, but does it mean I should stop? We don't have enough money to pay the rent for next month and they will kick us out, so let's leave now.... No. I can't do that. Natural forces inside me created by my own morals that themselves where created by my life experiences and circumstances condemn me to retardation if I stop myself. I must keep pushing forward, and try to push those that I can save, or ad least open their eyes. Most of these degenerates are afraid of their realities, to accept they have missed the opportunity in life to be normal, functioning social creatures. To reside themselves on a chair, forever impersonating sadness and the collapse of the american dream... it's more of an existential nightmare, a coma in which we are living, that we must witness these poor bastards plunge deeper into solitude and eventually, complete isolation from their own growth
>>29385597
Nothing to contribute where exponential growth can be made, all those things that made your soul fill with joy are in a magical place... here I went to the effort to find you the yellow brick road
>>>/b/690378850
now fuck off man. You shouldn't be here if you can't cross the street by yourself
>>29384175
Philosophy: People are drawn towards doing the wrong thing and our society will soon collapse violently.
Life: Single, rural, quiet solitary life.
Projects: I'm on a local semi-pro sports team.
Feels: I'll never give up trying to improve myself but people clearly don't care for my efforts. That's fine I guess, I suppose it's not meant to be for some of us.
Horizon: Work and loneliness. I will still contribute to charities and help people. When I think about it it's kind of fucked up to be a good person for a reward. If that makes me a Cuck whatever,
Have you ever written? Just let all the things you think should be in a story and done what you want? When you make something all yours it's intoxicating. Everything just feels natural, and it develops in ways you can't imagine.
My friend's been doing the same. His is a better story than mine, but they're so different and he's been working on it for so much longer that I don't feel too bad about myself at all.
Fuck reality, OP.
>>29385743
it's not about "story" mate.
it's all about themes and writing.
>>29385571
for a better mental image, for myself, what is the age gap here?
Apart form that, of course you fell into the roll of "parent". This is a notion I spoke about in the other thread; giving birth doesn't make you a parent. Raising and taking care for the child makes you a parent, a father, a mother. I have a friend in my life that passed a similar situation. Parents were alive, but might aswell have been dead. Complete neglect of children, 8 year gap between her and her baby brother.
Except she and I went completely off the walls and you remained centered, everyday junkies and freaks.
Going back to your brother, it wouldn't be insane to beleave he picked up the same pattern you did. There are no coincidences in this universe man. Everything you notice is meant to be noticed for a reason; for you to take action. He, maybe unconsciously, picked up the same trait as you naturally did, a sort of self defense to your raw emotions, and evasive maneuver of your feelings in an instinctive way of survival.
The best thing I can conclude with, is to follow the insinct that turns your head, perk up your ears, and makes you slow you footing. It happens for a reason, and never ignore it. Inside your heart you know what is right, what need to be done, even if it might hurt.
When will you rip of the band aid, in one go , to get it over with man.
And when will you wait until it starts to rain, to get the glue wet, and slowly peel it off.
These are both answers to many different situations, in different circumstances, but never the less they are both wrong, right, and need to be tweaked. It's up to you to decide what need editing and whats ready for the public
Oh well new school. I had realized im still young and im free to fuck up as i took stem and of course as a kid who never had a good backround, i dont have friends and my academic capital for this road is 0. I want to do good so in next two years i could pass my military exams because i could never afford normal colleges, not in this country. Im the definition of poor and of course im an outcast who has zero motivations except to do goos for my self. Help me man
>>29385783
I'm not trying to write this as anything but a self-indulgent thing to do with spare time. I'm not capable of writing something deeper than 'I wish this would happen in stories more or these morals showed up, time to add them'. I know it's borderline Darger-tier unreadable but it's fun to write.
My friend, though. I think his story, when he writes it all out, could be close to the next GoT. Maybe not super duper deep, but just good and well thought out.
We bounce ideas off each other a lot and tell each other when an idea is stupid bullshit, so it's not like a two person jerk-off.
>>29385783
It's fine man he's trying adleast to make a certain... point. I think. It comes back to this >>29385620
>>29385743
I have thought about writing. I recently started writing two, very polar "stories". But writing is like any art of form, teaching, philosophy, or mind expanding practices; you must do it constantly, always taking one more step than the last time. Never resting because of stress or tiredness. So I like to make these threads and speak with others who's intellect is above communicating thru memes, as astonishing as that may fucking seem
>>29385906
Please talk to me, i have no one
>>29385906
Ok I need you to explain one thing to me man. What are you asking of me? To give you motivation? If that's what your asking, your looking in all the wrong places, you poor bastard. Real motivation, the ones that raises empires, conquers nations, and turn boys into men, comes from somewhere you can never get to. But wherever you go, it's with you. It's a flame that burn inside you. And the only fumes it can take to burn stronger is your mental state. Are you willing to walk past mountains and rivers to reach your goal? If so, that flame will light up obvlivion
>>29385867
Age gap is four years. He gave me a card for father's day once. Made it himself. He also came up and hugged me without saying anything on a mother's day, but seemed a bit embarrassed about that.
I'm sorry that your friend went through that, Anon. My parents died early enough that they're saints to my brother and I.
I hope I haven't encouraged that somehow too much as a coping method.
I don't know in my heart what must be done, only what could be done. I like the band-aid analogy, though.
If someone you cared about had something bad happen to them that was starting to break them, would you want to know what happened? If you couldn't do anything to fix it? Part of me feels bad about the secrets and keeping why I died in small bits at a time to myself.
Thank you for your thoughts, Anon. And you sound like you've lived an interesting life.
>>29385948
I see writing as more of a muscle, you need to do a bit every day to exercise it. I do, even if it's not for my fantasy that's too long by now. I like to do one page horror stories sometimes.
You should write them out! And when you improve or find a different way of looking at something in the story you can just change it.
I like these threads. You're a smart cookie, OP. These kinds of threads are one of the great things about this board. When people put aside the memes and share worldviews. For me, though, the best thing is when people here show compassion. I'm telling you, man. If people here could say the kind things to people in real life that they can here I know people would love them.
I chugged my nightly melatonin cocktail and pills so I'm getting a bit touchy-feelsy, but isn't anon kindness unique? People here have nothing to gain from being kind, not even a reputation boost. But there it is in the right atmosphere.
>>29386080
I dont know. It feels alone. Atleast i still have myself. Comfort me ;-;
>>29386124
>My parents died early enough that they're saints to my brother and I.
>I hope I haven't encouraged that somehow too much as a coping method.
not at all. The only instance in which that would apply would be if murder was legal, or adlest a misdemeanor. Something that a heavy bribe and enough hydrofluoric acid to fill a large tub could render inconsequential
I recently spoke to my friend, hours ago actually. When she dropped me off, I changed and opened the thread. I want to tell you the same thing I told her.
There is an order to everything. All will be known at the end of the day, but in what order did they learn of the atrocities that at some point, they were unconscious of, but were very real, and already in existence. When the concept of rushing things overwhelms your speech, it's because the time isn't right yet. Wait until the words flow, with no barricades, with no hiccups, with no doubts. There will be a golden time where the truth must be revealed to the poor souls that until then live in blissfulness, but they have the right to know. Be careful, since you hold the hammer on this, as it seems you have for some time over due. I would tell you to be strong, but that would e telling a bunny to hop. Good looking, man, keep it up. We all like to think one day were going to heaven, but the truth is much, much grimmer. Make the time in which you currently live in the best time of your life, or you will regret it when you no longer can make that decicion
>>29386380
God dammit man I'm not your fucking baby-sitter. You must see the world for the wretched breathing abomination that it is. It will swallow you whole the moment you rest for too long. And when it feels particularly vicious, it will engulf you, and make you believe you are home, safe, and still breathing.
It's up to you now. Don't take guff from these swine
>>29386411
I always thought of keeping the truth from him as a kindness, protecting him. But it's starting to really hurt him as well, isn't it? I'll be careful, though. Regroup, think, think with my heart a bit.
That's given me a lot to think about. All things I can't keep running from. Thank you for sharing your advice to your friend with me.
>>29386293
>You're a smart cookie,
... Im trully bewildered by this. Is this what it feels when sad men are called by women "cute"? My god, what a horrible feeling.
The existence of this thread must tell you that I think the same as you, when the anonymous 4chaner, who is labeled as a creature from the underbelly of society begins to show some rays of humanity, it falls with more impact. But I believe that this phenomenon is brought about from the lack of humanity in the threads. So when they do appear, they seem so much more, and so much more powerful.
>>29386523
Adherence to my beliefs and ethical treatment of humans will keep me sharing what I can until forces beyond me won't allow me too.
I'm always around anon, but never making myself too apparent, sprinkling small amounts of sense here and there, as if it was cocaine, just to rattle the cages, and force the masses to open their eyes and take a stance
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm sure you know how to pull me out of the flock of sheep
>My philosophy
I don't care about anything. Just wish the world would leave me alone.
>you're life
Live with my gf and her grandma. Have a part time job. I really want to move out and be left alone but don't have the resources.
>projects
I animate and am posting them on YouTube. No one cares but I enjoy it.
>the feels
Just bored and want to chill without my gf hassling me about getting a place with her. I don't see a future with anyone, let alone you.
>>29387366
> over the horizon
Getting to more threads long after they've died.
