My eyes water and my breath gets shallow just thinking about it.

I almost had her, I was [ ] this close...

She is the most beautiful woman girl I've ever held. 5'2, auburn hair, pale skin, a cutesy angle face. And her body was miraculous. She never worked out but you wouldn't believe it...

But it's who she was that I fell in love with. She was the most complex person I've known.

She wanted to work as a Nurse but she hardly talked about Nursing. We'd have these great, long discussions about social and political issues. She knew her stuff so well. I felt like she was capable of more than nursing. A leader. a politician. But she had an extreme lack of confidence and felt that she was better off taking less risks in life.

Her humor could be crude and make you crack up like you were at a comedy show or her humor could be sweet and cute like you were watching cat videos on YT.

I never went to her university but we became friends because she was neighbors with my best friend, in their dorm.

We got very close. Once, when we were alone, I grabbed her by the arms and whispered into her ear, one of our inside jokes. She whispered back and wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled our bodies tightly together.

If I had kissed her, like I should have, my life would be different right now and we'd not be having this conversation.

But I was distracted by various things, and above all, I knew my best friend wanted her a lot more than I did.

It wasn't until they started dating that the full weight of my loss fell on me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I didn't fully want her until I couldn't have her.

Even so, for the first couple of weeks that they dated, me and her would still have alone time in between his classes. We'd still cuddle and I'd hold her. One time she vibrated her hips against my pelvis, laughing. If it was just a joke, there was no harm right?

One time, I kissed her on the forehead and she kissed my hand. My best friend then walked into the room

>>29372678
I expected a walk the dinosaur greentext but anon, that hurts im so sorry man, if you want good ol uncle OP to offer advice id say cut her off and try to forget about her as much as you can

>>29372678

He paused in shock for the slightest moment. Just have a second of bewilderment and confusion and then "what's up guys?"

"Nothing, just watching some tv". I think we had the tv on to some random cartoon.

She got up and hugged him and kissed his head (he's short, I'm tall) and they cuddled down on the bed while I became the third wheel.

After that, they become more and more reclusive. I was never really invited over again and the few times I went over, I had insisted upon it. I wanted to see her so badly. But we never got that close, physically, again.

I debated making my feelings crystal clear but ultimately, I love my best friend so much that I couldn't complicate his life like that. He was an overweight manlet who never thought he'd have a chance with a girl like that. She somehow liked his quirky personality. She was good for him. And I love them both. How could I ruin that for him, for her?

He and I had a falling out at some point. Now we're very close again. So are they, they discuss getting married.

I've moved on and I've had lots of girls in my bed and even now have a quasi-girlfriend who claims to be in love with me.

But none like her. None like A. I still ask him about her everytime I see him. Haven't seen her in over a year. They have a semi-long distance relationship.

In so many ways she was perfect for me. I still think about how foolish I was, frequently. But then again, I'm happy enough and they're happy too so who's to say it didn't turn out just right?

Deep down, I know I'm just lying to myself though

>>29372792
I'm almost glad she cut off contact, I would never have. I still dream about them breaking up. I know she felt very deeply about me. I just don't doubt that time has weakened those feelings

>>29372834
What was her name bro