Have you ever considered joining the army?
It might be the perfect way to get your life together.
>learn about cool shit
>get fit
>get money
>get some buddies
>might die in battle instead of killing yourself
Honestly whats there to lose for a robot?
selfu bumpu afsdd
>>29348436
>crippling lack of testosterone possible Klinefelters
>hunchback and scoliosis
>weak, frail body
>severe depression
>fucked up right foot
>head too big to fit in a helmet
Yeah even if i somehow passed the physical test i dont think they'd want me
>>29348436
>>29348540
Robots are kids with parents that support them for no reason other than "muh son", they could leave and search for a job, but instead they stay home and shitpost online.
Can't I have arthritis and osteochronditis. But I am joining the Americorps nccc in October for 10 months.
>>29348647
Lmao post pics
I was in the army for several months.
Didn't get any friends
Didn't get money
Didn't get fit
>back in high school guidance counselor suggest i take a army test to see what i'll be good at.
>i took a practice one, i did bad at it.
>it had kind of what job would be good in the army
>it was when i found out i was dumb
>>29348436
Yeah working on fitness prereqs.
25 pushups in a minute is hard.
Down 22lbs since March tho and almost doing an 8min mile.
Plan was to go raf and nco aircrew but that position is highly coveted, so backup of just mechanic or sparky seems more likely than not.
>>29348436
Am joining French Foreign Legion in August
>>29348436
Well i was considering joining but my eyes suck so i can't
It's a "military shill tries to recruit from r9k" episode
>>29348668
Ya but they are also depressed and lonely.
>>29348746
How did you not get money or get fit?
>>29348971
Isn't that only for airforce?
>>29349033
>implying military would ever recruit fat basement dwellers.
>>29348708
Go fuck yourself.
originalasjgfnajfnaenfna
>>29349128
>Won't recruit fat basement dwellers
You're on the wrong board then, fuck-o.
>>29349033
More like "no life depper gets his ship date to the airforce for his poggy job and wants everyone to do the same thing" episode on /r9k/
>>29349153
>implying most neets aren't out of shape
Do you really think of all the places a military recruiter could go on the internet they would go to a den of losers who do nothing but shitpost on the internet all day.
>>29349181
I was considering do it myself which is why wanted to know if anyone else was considering it or if any other robots have done it?
>>29348436
want to, but can't do push ups :-(
>>29348436
>>29348971
>be me
>draft @ 18
>get medical examination
>they say I have a heart condition
>didn't know I have
>they send me home
this was 19 years ago and I never got my heart checked
>>29349181
What is he holding?
oregano
>>29348647
how the fuck are you alive man?
for all the folks who wanna get into army and action, try French Foreign Legion, less requirements than your standard country armies.
>throwback highschool memories
>only "friend" is this weird nerd guy
>even tho we hang out for so long time, the "freindship" was never real, more of like no emotions, trust,,, weird..
>HS ends, its summer time, I was working and busy, one day decide to call him and his mom answered
>turns out he raw away from home and went to France to enlist, everyone was shocked...
It's been like 15 years from that summer, last time I saw him was 2 years ago at "prom anniversary". He is like big as fuck. Talked a lot of cool stories, did 3 contracts with FFL, somehow got really good at this job, and now works as security contractor supervisor, operates on multiple continents.....
Now this isn't a shill post, but it makes you think, damn some people really change. If someone would told me that he would go from a skinny, klinefelter white dude who was bullied regularly to some ripped spec ops, I wouldnt believe it in my dreams.
>>29348436
You've been playing too much Call of Duty or Battlefield. All the respect for those in the military but it ain't so great. You could end up in a wheelchair or have PTSD. There's a few people build for this but it surely ain't robots.
All I can see robots do is intelligence work or something behind a desk.
Besides a lot here have mental ilness issues that makes them unfit to be in the military.
>>29349386
a stress card. A quick way to get a time out if airforce bmt is too """""""""""""stressfull""""""""""""
>>29348436
maybe, some people don't or they abandon their specialization after they get out.
people get fat in the military, especially the depressed ones
you can get money and buddies if you plan accordingly
more people kill themselves in the mil instead of dieing in battle
>>29349527
>a lot here have
there is just a few of them, the rest are just attention seeking cunts or trolls.
if you wonder how I know that, I am the latter
>>29349609
You are right I made an assumption based on a few outliers. But something like depression seems common around here.
>>29349671
it is just faggots being down. that's it. there are tons of potential that are capable of joining the army here.
but they are just simply retarded and give themself up in some dichotomy based on fake assumptions.
>>29349527
I'm already suicidal so I don't really care if I die. I would probably just kill myself if I ever became crippled.
Yeah I would love to join up with a bunch of normies to be treated like shit and paid like shit to do stupid shit and possibly die for a bunch of chads. Sounds great op but I think ill just stuck to the neet life tyvm.
>>29348883
There is no way a robot will pass OASC. Cut your losses and be a sparky or IT tech.
>>29349791
>possibly dieing
Thats one of the best parts about it though.
>>29348436
im going to do rotc for marines in college but ill never leave the suicidal depression behind nor the hatred of light and normies
>hey mr. recruiter.
I've always thought about it. I'd rather go out fighting. The Idea of camping out with a bunch of normies in a shitty barrack seems like hell though.
>>29349762
>>29349865
Sounds more like ISIS. I don't want to speak on behalf of the military but I have doubts they want suicidals.
We're past the stage of cannon fodder.
>>29350032
I don't necessarily want to die I just wouldn't mind. Well I guess I secretly hope that I would die but its not like i'm going to try to.
>>29348436
aside from the benefits
>stuck with hormonal dipshit crazier than yourself
>work for dipshit bosses stupider than yourself
>if you're deployed to Iraq/Afghanistan have fun digging shit holes all day
>no privacy/quiet time ever
>the military owns your body for 8 years minimum
>>29348436
joining the army would mean leaving the comfort of your basement.
>>29348746
>several months
fuck off private pyle
>>29348883
>25 psuhups in a minute is hard
never change /r9k/
>>29349497
you have no idea what youre talking about. french foreign legion is very, very hard to get into. around 1 in 12 accepted and you have to apply in person in france.
>>29349527
>You could end up in a wheelchair or have PTSD
a much much much much more likely outcome is you ened up deploying nowhere and bored out of your mind in ft polk louisiana
>>29349539
They havent used stress cards in any branch since 2012 senpai.
>>29348971thays only the airforce other Branches offer glasses or laser eye surgery I believe
>>29349344
then do more pushups you useless fuck
im enlisting to jewland army in a few months. hope i won't lose my mind
This is the cringiest thread I've yet to see on my many years of 4chan.
Here's a little guide for your average robot looking to join the army from a cyborg US infantry veteran:
The military, and espeially the infantry, is a completely different kind of culture from anything youve likely experienced. "Chad" and "robot" as you imagine it does not exist. Your social standing is 90% competency based.
This could be a good or a bad thing for your average robot. If you are a weak willed pussy prone to fucking up and slow to learn, you will be treated much worse in the infantry than would even be legal in most facets of civilian life. Those guys often get kicked out in basic or early in their contract, but your life is going to be hell until they find a way to get rid of you.
On the other hand, if you are an alright dude with no social skills, youre probably going to like the military. Nobody cares that you're a sperg as long as you do your job, and you have guaranteed government issued friends to hang out with.
Example: There was a guy in my first platoon that described himself as 10-15% gay, lost his virginity at an asian massage parlour off base, had never masturbated until he joined the army and someone told him how, and has long conversation with his mother and no-one else on facebook statuses. Everyone teased him, of course, but none of it was malicious because he stayed out of trouble was actually pretty smart and hard working. Conversely, there were a lot of dudes who you would describe as "chads" coming into basic training, and they bullied the "robots" relentlessly, and it was interesting to see the transformation as some of the shitbag chads became the most hated dudes in the company and some of the "robots" faded out of the spotlight or turned out alright.
>>29348647
>head too big for a helmet
They have a wide variety of sizes.
>severe depression
>anything related to weakness
They'll fix that. You probably have nothing to be depressed about anyway.
>scoliosis, hunchback
That won't be much of a problem until it comes to heavy lifting. My spine is crooked and I can't do any lifting involving my back or a get terrible pains.
>>29352094
There is a very, very little chance you are ever going to see combat, much less die in it. Iraq and Afghanistan are all but over.
Normies think the military is dangerous but in reality an 18-24 yo male has a higher rate of death outside the military than in, because no drugs, gang violence, less drunk driving, etc.
If you insist on continuing being a pussy, look at technical jobs, anything intelligence, communications, or maintenance. Especially nuclear technician in the navy, it requires a 90 percentile asvab and it has the reputation as a "robot" job. when you get out you can make money in the civilian world with these skills. Office jobs (human resources, finance admin) wont really give you marketable skills AND they are bitch jobs. Stay away. And for the love of god, dont let the recruiter rope you into cook or laundry specialist. A lot of people do it just for the benefits cause they thinks its easy, its long days as a glorified fast food worker, zero respect from anyone, and surrounded by black people.
if youre not a pussy and want an actual military experience, then as far as you are concerned there are two jobs in the military: Infantry and Not Infantry. Guess which you should pick.
>>29349064
But depressed and lonely comes from riding on your parents dime. Get an education or get enlisted to break the cycle.
>>29348436
But I'm already in the army
Signal battalion
>>29352358
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
U.S. Army Ranger here, graduated Ranger school and earned my tab.
Ask me anything.
>>29352408
first question: are you a ranger or a "ranger"? you should know what i mean
>>29352428
in the 75th
>>29352408
Would you recommend Army officer or Marine Officer?
>>29352379
>Making fun of the most vital support battalion
Try fighting a war without us
+
Working with skywave radio and satellite communications is cool as hell.
>>29352408
Whats your MOS?
oregano
What's stopping you from enlisting today, robots?
>>29352508
true true. kinda like how a football team is gonna have a hard time playing without waterboys. thanks, waterboy.
>>29352408
>ranger
>on r9k
>kek
>>29352537
water dog devil dogs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWfRDugsvcc
>>29352542
>RANGERS ARE SUPER SECRET SPECIAL OPS BADASSES AND WOULD NEVER WASTE THEIR TIME ON THIS SHITHOLE
>>29352508
The armed services does have the best toys.
I think it's not a bad idea if you survive without any physical/mental damage.
Like
>Be 18
>Get fit
>Join some unit
>Fly across the globe
,>Kill niggers
>Have an unforgettable experience
>After a few years, go to school paid by the gubbymret
>get a good paying job
>Live life knowing you've been through hell and can reintegrate into society
There is literally nothing wrong with doing this for a few years.
>>29352537
>Waterboy
That would be supply and logistics
>>29352575
Who here a /Seal/?
Seals lead the way!
>>29352542
why is this hard to believe exactly?
>>29352629
>robots
>tough
kek.
I joined the navy, pretty good choice for me and as someone else said it's pretty easy for a robot to succeed as long as you can get up on time and work at least a little hard and not fuck up on your off time by getting an alcohol incident.
Money isn't bad either. I had no college and enlisted and made E6 a couple years ago and clear close to 65k with benefits, half of that is tax free allowances.
Sea duty can suck but I'm on three years of instructor duty in San Diego and work from 7:30 to 2:00pm m-Thursday and usually about 3 hours on Friday. Also get paid to work out.
>>29352341
College is useless if you don't make connections though.
>>29352584
I know right
Meathead marines will never know what it's like being in charge of highly classified crypto items
>>29352094
So should I go into the military after i've done some weapons research and training to make sure i'm not going to have a rough time.
>>29352829
LOL no. You should do lots of pushups. Get a 300 on the APFT. Then maybe buy an AR and start practicing. Being able to shoot well or use the weapons well is a tiny part of daily life as an infantryman.
>>29352917
You don't even need to get your own AR, just buy an airsoft rifle or toy with realistic weight and practice aiming with a penny balanced on the flash hider.
>>29352829
No. They'll teach you how to shoot. A lot of guys with weapons experience have to unlearn bad habits during training which is a lot harder than just learning it.
>>29352408
What would people think if someone highly educated wanted to join? I have my JD and an MBA from Ivy League schools but always wanted to be an army pilot.
>tfw 21 y/o, 5'9 and fit
>really want to join the army
>forced to take psycho meds for 2 years in middle school
Is there any chance? I was never diagnosed with anything, just had to take pills.
>>29352766
There will be lots of internship and work study opportunities but if you won't take advantage of these, you won't use the army connections either.
That's because either would require you to stop making excuses for staying in your room.
>>29352767
Of course, we need to consider if it's a good idea to put robots in charge of classified information.
>>29348436
>tfw heart condition
I would join the military, I really really wish I could. But God hates me, so now that is gone for me.
i'm hoping to join the airforce (UK) soon, is anyone currently there who wouldn't mind telling me what it's like and how basic is?
>>29353482
Dont tell anybody. There is no centralized data base for that sort of stuff. Could be an issue down the road if you go for something that requires top secret clearance and they want to talk to doctors, teachers, family, friends
>>29353471
What kind of question is this? What reaction are you expecting?
People will be impressed dude youre a fucking Ivy League grad.
>>29348896
Yea. Fucking. Right.
>>29353687
Get used to getting shouted at for shit you didn't even know you did wrong, zero sleep, and oh god so much death by powerpoint. And ffs get good at polishing shoes and ironing.
>>29353782
I get that much. More along the lines of being an outcast or looked down upon because of my education. I can't imagine what a recruiter would think
Could a dual-russian citizenship be a problem? Not FSB I promise.
>>29353891
Well obviously I'm not sure I'll be able to join, but I have arranged to make the trip
>>29354075
You would probably be forced to give up your citizenship, if they'll even let you go for any secret/TS clearance jobs.
>>29348647
You don't actually have Klinefelter's if you're under 6'2", btw. Yore just a disgusting skinny fat. Stop self diagnosing you fucking hack
>>29353471
Army pilots are generally Warrant Officers for most flight positions, except for attack helicopters which are officers.
Generally you want to avoid joining if you are smart. You will get sick of the military REAL fast. You will be doing tons of shit that makes no sense.
>33 pushups at once max
>57 situps at once max
>cant do 2 miles yet but im doing couch to 5k every other day but im on week 2
fuck it ill probably never be able to run a 15:54 2 mile but i want to join
>>29354675
this
I'm actually diagnosed klinefelt and it triggers me when some fatass cries about how he is cursed with it yet is simply an out of shape low t manlet
Don't self diagnose
>>29354790
Don't worry bro, you'll make it
Start doing pushups, pullups and situps every day though, or at least every day you're not running. 5 sets with 50% of the most you can do in one go. So 5 sets of 16 pushups for example, and retest every week or 2. Good luck
>>29348746
>Didn't get fit
How did you pass basic? They even have extra PT for the weak and fat bodies.
>>29354912
ive been doing pushups/situps everyother day but not like that thanks for the tips
lol i could only do 16 pushups and 13 situps about 3 weeks ago
>>29354971
Pushups and situps will get you nowhere, run and lift weights.
>>29354075
i am in the same boat; pretty sure the only thing that would bar you is if you had actually served in russian military
also technically it's not a possible thing to have as the russian constitution does not recognize dual citizens
>>29348436
Nice try, but I'm not falling for it.
>>29354999
They're necessary for entry.
>>29354971
No problem mate
how bad is basic? i love being active and all but the drill sergeants dropping you nd smoking you as well as the tear gas seems like it would be awful
>>29353556
My love for my country surpasses any robot urges. Passed security clearance, no questions asked.
Should I put that I'm good at FPS on my application? Like I can predict enemy actions and have good eye coordination?
I'm fat, lazy, probably retarded, I can't follow directions, guns scare me and I wouldn't last a day in the desert. I'm gonna get somebody killed
>>29355800
Just try it anyways
They'll teach you not to be as retarded
>>29355612
Lmao
>>29353993
Nigga IRL is not hollywood. lol
>>29354075
Not sure about russians specifically but there are tons of immigrants in the military. many arent even citizens when they go to basic.
>>29354962
>How did you pass basic?
>several months
he didnt
>>29355395
lol. please dont join.
of course it sucks you fucking pussy, its basic training. you should be excited about how much it sucks. you should be excited about bragging to your civvie friends about how much it sucked after.
your attitude is shit, dont join
I'm a third world dweller so there is little point in enlisting here, and as I am not a native English speaker I'm guessing I would have a harder than average time if I moved to the USA and joined there.
>>29355964
my attitude is shit? how? tear gas sounds like it would suck balls
>>29355989
theres tons of third world faggots that barely speak english in the US military. Youll be fine
Anyone here been through an OSB (in particular through the ADF)? Passed my YOU and defence interview and don't really know what to expect for the OSB (apart from group activities and an interview with the board). Army btw, going for GSO.
>>29349141
why u so rude gay biy
Joining the army isn't an option for me as I can't even do a single pushup (I have tried, I know it's pathetic) and can't even run a single mile without having a full body shutdown. I seriously have no idea how someone does more than 20 pushups in one sitting or is able to run several miles without even breaking a sweat. It's fucking insane. I just can't fathom it.
Then again, it may be because I have not exercised a single day in my life and legitimately do not know how to, as well as eat a healthy diet.
I guess I'll have to either become a NEET or kill myself sometime soon.
>>29356163
how fat are you? a lot of young men (unfortunately) are in your position. you are physically capable of improvement.
oh shit didnt mean to suggest soemthing that required responsibility and effort on /r9k/
>>29356238
That's the thing anon I'm not even fat (At most maybe skinny fat) It's just that I guess I'm extremely weak and unhealthy, which I suppose comes from having a shit diet and not taking vitamins.
>>29356163
Work negatives. Just go into the position and lower yourself to the ground.
Or do knees.
Do c25k repeat previous weeks when you fail.
You're just having to rebuild your pathetic atrophied body that you haven't stressed since school physed.
>>29348436
I have asthma, I heard they won't accept.
> implying I want to die for Jews
No thanks, jabroni
Is joining in your late twenties a bad idea? Does it matter if it's reserves/guard? The idea of being almost ten years older than the kids there seems off putting.
freedom
you can play call of duty at home in safety without pots and pans banging in your face to go outside and do 100 pushups at 5 am
dont get tricked guys.
military is hell and you are signing your rights away
if i get to like 25 without getting my shit together I'll try to volunteer for some humanitarian shit. same thing as the military only i'm actually helping
>score 88 on smartness test.
>waiting for past 3 months for waivers.
>>29358163
>volunteer for some humanitarian shit
Peace corp requires a college degree.
Get a job.
Or join the coast guard if you want to be in a military branch that helps people.
I have Autism.
So while WWIII occurs. I'll be in the States watching the streams or evacuating my city.
>>29349920
>implying you won't be able to kill the shit out of sandnigger normies
>>29352094
Thank god, I'm a fit as fuck cyborg that isn't a pussy.
