Does anyone else here enjoy being sad? I intentionally let myself get heartbroken because everything is better when you're sulking about a girl. Music, film, literature, and art in general is so much more powerful when you can relate it to a girl you once loved. I never want to be happy again because I can only find solitude in listening to depressing music while thinking about her at 3:00 in the morning.
>>29335533
>everything is better when you're sulking about a girl
Only if you're retarded
If you are enjoying your sadness you are happy, not sad.
I like to imagine myself in situations where I can feel sorry for myself.
>>29335533
no way
i save my good crys for masterpiece anime only or if i get an epiphany while i blazz it
>>29335533
I miss the comfort in being sad
>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bZgtMchcOy0
>>29335533
I enjoy being sad for a different reason; I've been sad for so long that it's become comfortable. I like that it's constant and never changes, it's nice to have a static and permanent part of your internal self, given that the external world is so chaotic and unpredictable. Whatever happens, I can always expect that deep sadness to be there inside me, no matter what.
I know the feeling well OP. I've posted this general feel a few times on this board.
I've built my personality around the feelings of sadness. Being somber, bleak, morose and depressing just feels safe and, though it hurts it's sort of a dull, comfortable pain. It's better than the feeling of absolutely having your heart broken or having friends leave you or failing at something.
Fear of rejection and failure has haunted me for a long time, so I've fucked up many opportunities I could have taken because I was too afraid of being wrong. To cope with this I stew in my bitterness and sadness because I know the feeling well and it feels right. I cannot understand the idea of people being chipper and bubbly. I can't smile happily or make light of things because it just feels wrong and disingenuous of me, like I'm betraying what's made me this person. I know it isn't right but I cannot fathom the concept of being a happy-go-lucky, optimistic go-getter. It feels foreign to me, like that sort of happiness shouldn't be mine.
I grew up without much of a family aside from my parents and they weren't very loving or affectionate. Because of this I'm pretty afraid of intimacy, be it physical, emotional or otherwise. But I crave it desperately. These last few nights I've not talked to anyone outside of work and all I've done is sit in my room and play games I don't find enjoyable and stare at my ceiling. It gets lonely but like I said I find a perverse sense of safety and enjoyment from the pain.
I had a friend who got together with a girl I'd liked for quite a while, and he knew of it very well. He was the only person I've ever met who seemed to get how I felt on an emotional, philosophical and political level and I miss the conversations and fun we had, however brief (only a month or so) dearly now. But he didn't care about me too much. I don't trust people anymore.
Sorry to rant, but I know this feel OP and I'm glad other people do too.
>>29335533
Then you didn't love her or feel for her enough. True loss makes you dread falling asleep every night, because you know you'll wake up feeling worse than you did this morning. And you know that every morning, you open your eyes, and say to yourself that you can't do it, and cry for a few minutes before you have to drag yourself out of bed. It eventually dulls and returns to normal after a very long time, but those mornings you woke up thinking about grabbing your pistol to polish it all off that you bought for just having fun at the range still sit at the back of your mind. Finally getting over heartbreak is a nice feeling.
>>29335533
Yeah man. It's like drinking your own blood because it tastes salty.
Indulging in that will wreck your life, though.
>>29335533
it's called self-pity
>>29335533
Think about the cocks sliding in and out of her pussy and ass right now.
>>29335533
>he doesn't enjoy things for their inherent value
normies, man
