Lewd Thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
What's the lewdest thing you've done, anon-kun?
>>29316705
masturbate
>>29316705
>What's the lewdest thing you've done, anon-kun?
I put things in my butt sometimes
Sometimes I go outside naked at night and masturbateI should kill myself
Had a threesome with two hookers.
>>29316728
What's the lewdest thing you've masturbated to? Ever do it in weird places?
>>29316705
Sex with my sister.
Inserted the smooth end of a toothbrush into my anus repeadly (I couldn't fit anything thicker in their) and jerked off. Felt pretty good desu. I'm straight.
I once licked a vagina.
>>29316705
i used to masturbate at work, often in areas where i could be discovered. originally i did it because i was so horny i couldn't wait before i got home, but turns out it was really easy to get off knowing i was in a public place.
jacked off a second time in a hotel room and just came on the floor.felt like shit afterwards
>>29316705
Humped a bed until orgasm.It was a hotel bed.
>>29316705
When I was 14 I let a friend of mine dry hump me.
I'm a dude.
had sex with a black guyfrequentlyhe's straight
>>29316912
>he's straight
Is this what he tells himself, or do you have to reassure him?
God hates fags guys. Plz stop sinning u make jezus cry.
>>29316980
Just because I like stimulating my prostate doesn't mean I'm a faggot, you shitlord.
>>29316974
It's clearly what he tells himself.
And his friends.
And his parents.
We're just "really good friends."
>>29316878
Hey! I do that too!whenever I wake up and am too lazy to get up and fap
>>29316822
>not choosing best girl
>>29316705
mostly masturbate, but I have also tried experimenting with "butt stuff"word, being tried.
I have put suppositories in my ass and I never liked the feeling. Have also used a sort of lube one time when it was really bad and we didn't have anything else. One day I got curious because I had been getting interested in whacking it to men, particularly traps. I wondered if sticking things in your ass really felt good so I tried to see for myself. unfortunately I didn't have a dildo or anything so I tried a sharpie. at firdt I did it without lube and I hated it because it hurt so bad. When I realized I wasn't getting anywhere I had logic appear in my head to use lube. rubbing the lube outside and inside my anus felt amazing, I loved it. I proceeded to use thw sharpie once again only to like taking it out. it was hard, thin, and small so I couldn't find any enjoyment. I then proceeded to massage my anus and stick fingers inside while I tried jerking off. it felt okay but I had to do one at a time to fully enjoy the experience, I came buckets afterwards. wanna try a dildo one day, especially if ita an uncut one like pic related so I can suck on it and stick it in my ass, but I'm too scared to, especially if anyone finds it.
>>29317004
My church will pray for you.
>>29317031
It was pretty decent, ain't gunna lie.
>>29317013
>tfw your home bed isn't soft enough for this to work
I just settle with soft pillows instead.
>>29317089
was she older or younger?
>>29317159
She was my twin sister. We were 12 at the time.
>>29317251
>IRL twincest
Greentext it.
I guess cumming on my feet and trying to lick it off.
>tried a prostate massager
Spent like 50euros on that shit and I threw it away after a month of trying to get some fun out of it.
Fapping felt a bit better for sure, but overall the effort, the mess and the general uncomfort of shoving something up your ass just wasnt worth it.
The hermorroids were a nice bonus at the end.
>>29317273
Me and my sister were at a babysitter, abusive older brother and junk.
>Girl there is 16, daughter of the owner of the day care
>forget how, but it was like, "I show you, you show me"
>me and my sister and this girl are in a playground near the house
>She flashes us
>me and my sister are comfortable naked around each other and just take off our clothes
>don't really know about sex at the time, pretty sure my sister knew
>this girl told us about sex and showed us her juicy bits and then my sister as well
>Told me to get hard and I didn't know how
>initiate blowjob
>I stick it in the girl first and my sister wanted to try
>stick it in her
That's really it man. I didn't have a big dick so obviously it wasn't that good.
>>29317301
was it at least vibrating?
Jerked off in an adult theater .....also sucked off other guys there.
>>29317366
Welp, at least you're not a virgin.
>>29316705
Jacked off in a parking garage.
licked my brother's butthole
The only thing I can masturbate to now is impregnation porn/fantasies.
Every qt I see, I imagine planting my hot sticky seed in them and milking their swollen breasts once their preggo bellies have become nice and round.
>>29317704
Pic related, this alone is enough to make me diamonds.
Dress up in thigh highs and pantsu and show myself to people online. I regret doing it because it's slutty, but I would like to continue doing it more privately. Too bad I'm 5'6", really short, so finding thighhighs that stretch towards the top of my legs is nigh impossible, as they're all designed for six foot tall men.
>Dog sitting for a friend
>Dog is excitable to have someone new in the house
>Spend the night drinking and tossing a tennis ball down a hallway
>Dog excitedly tosses it from his mouth behind the couch
>Lean over to try to get it
>Dog immediately tries to mount me
>Drunk and curious
>Strip down and lube up
>Lean over
>Immediately mounts me and hits the target
>Fucks me deep and knots in me
>Cum without touching myself as he just jackhammers me
>Do it three more times before his owner comes home.
>>29316825
This too
>>29318019
Serious question
Why do you feel like you need to dress girly to be lewd?
Once a year, I just lose all control. I go out to a gay bathhouse and spend the whole night just getting sucked off and sucking dick and fucking random dudes. Feels gross afterwards but it feels good to actually get laid
>>29318102
>Why do you feel like you need to dress girly to be lewd?
I don't. But I do think it's hotter than when I'm normally nude.
There are plenty of other contenders for "lewdest thing I've done", none of which involve crossdressing, but most wouldn't react positively to them.
>>29318125
>But I do think it's hotter than when I'm normally nude
It is senpai
I just wanted to know if there is any other reason
I've recorded myself masturbating in girly clothes and I've gone on omegle dressed as a girl and do what random anons on the /r9k/ tell me to do
I spit shined a guy's bare soles with my tongue.
>>29316705
Masturbated while my roommates were asleep in the same dorm room. Also crammed things up my ass at the time. Pretty sure they probably knew but didn't say anything. 10/10 roommates.
Masturbated to video of myself masturbating.
Let dogs lick peanut butter off of my balls. Stopped when one of the dogs tried biting.
Cut holes in the crotch of some teddy bear I had as a kid and tried to fuck it. Blamed the holes on the dog to cover it up. Parents didn't believe me.
Stood in the doorway of my friend's sister's room and whacked it while she was sleeping spread eagle.
probably some more
can't remember
i don't have friends anymore and now i just whack it vanilla
guess i'm boring now
>>29318092
That's pretty hot anon-desu
Are you loving the doggy D now?
>>29318810
Yes, as often as I can. I tried to not over do it when I talked about how great it was watching the dog. But occasionally, he'll have me come over just to hang out with the dog and keep him company. So now I'm getting knotted about weekly. Every time is still just as great as the first. His owner has been raving about how much calmer and more obedient he has been lately.
Ate out a Japanese girl in a karaoke box in Tokyo and she pissed all over my chest and in my mouth. Overflowed everywhere and ended up pooling under the table.
>>29318838
I'm still pretty curious about the first time!
Were you into stuff like that before it happened and did you instantly submit or were you trying to make him stop?
Please tell me 'cause this might be a fetish of mine. Just maybe!!
>>29317007
>We're just "really good friends."
Cute as fuck, I'm not going to lie.
>>29318877
>tfw no "really good friend"
>>29318377
absolutely degenerate kys
Masturbating to femdom scat is what generally makes me feel the most guilt.
>>29318877
>>29318895
Maybe in ten years when he's accepted himself and we're together for real, I'll be able to see how cute it is.;_;
>>29316705
i once asked some anon for pics and he actually sent me one (his butt) through email
he asked what fetishes do i like
it was too surreal, i apologized and said i don't wanna do this ;_;
>>29318860
Oh, I had been curious for a long time, lots of porn and stuff like that. But I initially thought, "OK, cool, I'll just do this once, get it out of my system."
But then he's holding me so tight, he's panting in my ear, he's refusing to leave my side afterwards, being so affectionate. And it was more than a fetish after that. It's just some of the most mind blowing sex I've ever had (not that I've had a ton with humans.)
He always takes the lead, too. He knows how to flag that he wants to play around, always initiates.
>>29316705
>8th grade
>stiffy in gym class
>decide not to play flag football
>i got the last seat on the benche
>girl asked to sit on my lap
>decline but she sits on it anyway
>i guess she noticed i was erect because she started grinding on me
>cum barrels
>>29316912
What's it like
((OC))
Licked my cum off a girls cunt I just cream pied
>>29319118
Well, he isn't ghetto at all, he's one of those rich black guys,
So he always smells really good, his clothes are always crisply ironed, and he's going to school to be a neurosurgeon, so he's really smart.
The sex is fucking great.
It's awful, but since he in the closet, he's stressed and scared, and that makes the sex fucking amazing.
All that tension builds up and up and up, and that's how he gets rid of it.
10/10, get yourself a closeted negro friend, totally worth it
>>29319176
Ahh interesting. Not gay though , just wondering
>>29316705
Full day Bdsm session where he put a tally mark on my body for every orgasm I had
>>29319231
Holy shit that sounds awesome. Good idea too
>>29319279
I'd been super into Bdsm my whole life and he was the fIrst partner who was just as up for it as me
We'd tried a whole bunch of stuff but that day he just totally overloaded me.
>>29319222
Ah, well that's all well and good too
>>29318907
I don't see what the problem is though anon. The way i see it I help other robots get off while getting myself off. It's win-win
>>29319325
Are you a girl? Did he write on you or scratch it into you? Or spank it into you, leaving tally welts?
>>29319378
i understand it senpai, lewdposting works like that
it always gets me hard, but i never do that tho
Gotten a friend of mine who had a crush on me to act as the go between for me flirting with her mother over the course of many months, including sending her dick pics and the like and having her relay her mother's reaction to them back to me.
It was interesting.
>>29319433
Permanent marker
The spanking was good, but unrelated
I was so drunk I can't remember if I put my fingers up her ass or bagina. That was 8 or so years ago and the closest I came to sex.
>>29317106
sauce? I cant find this, honoka-chan wont work
Jerked off with someone in the room next to me
Sent pics of my dick to strangers on snapchat
Shoved a finger up my butt while drunk. I didn't go very far so I didn't feel anything. I'm afraid to do it again because it might feel really good and I don't want to turn gay.
I'm pretty boring desu
>>29320312
what does pleasing your butt have to do with liking men
>>29320335
First it's a finger, then you buy a didlo, next thing you know your downloading grinder.
>>29320420
Theres a difference between masturbation and sex. As much as I love porn I would never actually want to have sex with a woman.
>>29316705
i fucked my cousin in an orgy
Got shitfaced drunk with my ex and ended up having really rough anal sex with her at like 4 in the morning, she puked all over the bed just as I finished in her.
