So I have been suffering from depression for a long time now, but today it is very different. You see, when I was depressed before I would listen to an album, do chores or try to shake off my feeling after 10 minutes, but today it won't go. I have turned off my phone and all of social media and I have only exited my room in order to buy food / coca cola and to go to the bathroom. I feel absolutely demotivated to do anything and especially to talk to anybody. I have also masturbated 3 times today, once to Skyrim for the first time (I had semi-normal fetishes before, but this is pushing it for me) since I was very younger, and my next fantasy is to kill the faggot Jarl of Winterfell and fuck his wife over his dead body, and while it is not my first time to wish to ice that prick, I didn't have sexual fantasies like this before.
I usually masturbated once a day and after this time period, now I have still 8 hours before the next sleep in this godforsaken room and I might set a new record. I see no point in anything and I feel like I am going to slowly turn into a worthless sack of shit.
Please tell me that this is just a phase.
>pic is a cool wallpaper because nothing related in folders
>>29304373
>You see, when I was depressed before I would listen to an album, do chores or try to shake off my feeling after 10 minutes, but today it won't go.
Consider yourself lucky anon, there's still time for you.
Get into therapy and tell them what's happening - without any exaggeration or sugar-coating. Just tell things as they are. If you're not suicidal, try not to get on anti-depressants, as they're an unnecessary evil. You'll be better in no time.
Anons like myself are way too deep in this shit, and it ain't nice. I've been self-medicating for 6 years and I would wish this on my worst enemy.
Imagine that you have wake up every morning feeling the way you feel right now. Force yourself to get up, force yourself to make breakfast and drink coffee so you can further force yourself to do the everyday mundane tasks just so your life doesn't fall apart - and you receive a total of ZERO pleasure from it. And you keep doing this day after day because you KNOW it won't get better - your favorite album sounds bland, your favorite pornstar doesn't turn you on anymore, your favorite TV show gives you a headache - it's literally hell.
I'm 10 days off speed and I still can't feel a thing. I wish my emotions would just return...
Just go to therapy man. You don't want to end up like this. Please.
also check out >pic related
>babbys first day of crippling depression
Welcome! Enjoy your stay! :)
>>29305338
Dude, OP has a chance of not falling in the same pit we're all in. Can't you support him a little bit?
Come on, you can't possibly remember the day you felt like that and not wish that you hadn't went that way...
>>29304373
>T-Wolves
I would help you, but you can go fuck yourself.
Seriously, though, close r9k and call a therapist right now. You can still be saved
>>29304373
>Winterfell
That's game of thrones m8
>>29304373
>once to Skyrim for the first time
Been there, man. I had this mod that made the women look more attractive, and I'd take off their shoes and use a poser mod to make them position themselves so I could see the feet better.
If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is.
>depression
>shake off my feeling after 10 minutes
Oh fuck off
>>29305273
I was suicidal before and tried it but mostly didn't succeed because the smell of the pills I mixed with alcohol scared me shitless (that was my most real attempt, the others were far from success), I mean, the feeling was almost the same but not as alone in my numb emotions, somebody supported me somehow, now after what people have done to me I feel like I have no reason to listen to them, hence resorting to this fucking forum that I am not fond of at all.
>>29305466
I classify wallpapers only by their artistic values, as proof I hold my Darkest Dungeon wallpaper collection without even knowing what the fuck that is.
>>29306474
Not exactly my first weird adventures, I have been a rule34 fan for 10 years but for me it isn't taboo considering how shit my childhood was.
>>29306639
I said usually, I had long depressive series, not as lonely lasting for 3-4 days once in two months, but they felt like it was me and a bunch of other people caught completely drowned in lake of shit, unlike now when it feels like nobody can lend me a hand anymore.
>Pic is a good wallpaper from a game that will probably never live up to its standard.
>>29307763
You seem so young, how old are you anyway?Also, a honest question - do you enjoy dramatic feelings? Like, a good movie plot, Deftones' music, a good fight with a lot of emotional charge and shit? I won't judge you, I'm just asking this to compare my experience with yours m8
>>29307763
>3-4 days
>long
OP is baiting.
Thread over.
>>29307873
I thought about getting into Deftones because I was introduced to them by "My own summer" and I think they are worth a shot, but I haven't gotten into them.
I am highly critical of music / movies and I don't finish most of them, they are the only places where everybody is not a complete shithead to people in some greedy way.
>>29307932
I got over them because I had a highly supportive family, but now it seems like everybody is just waiting for me to kill myself, and I wasn't very clear in my expression, I was talking about only full 24/7 no-sleep cylces, the others were not so close to going completely ape shit or laughing at dismembered African kids with leprosy to calm myself.
>>29308072
If you're depressed and want to get into Deftones, check out following songs:
>Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away)
>Diamond Eyes
>Beauty School
>Sextape
>Digital Bath
>Knife Party
>Passenger
>Smile
They're all my favorites and quite different, so if you don't like one, just skip to the next one - you'll like it.
And you still haven't answer my question - how old are you anon?
>>29308694
Thanks, 19.
>I have depression, but it usually only lasts a couple days.
>when I'm depressed, I do X and it goes away.
I'd imagine my own feelings to this might be similar to those of a legless cripple who hears a person talk about the crippling disability of a stubbed toe.
