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I fucking hate my life 90% of the time, despite having a "great life". Married, wife has a great job, bought a really nice house, she works while I go to school full time and watch our 1 1/2 year old.

I fucking hate it.

I have no friends, no time for my hobbies like golfing, making music in a band, playing my vidyas uninhibited etc etc... it all sounds like petty kid shit, but what the fuck? I am supposed to drop any modicum of fun when I become a 30 year old dad and just goid good grades until I can become the miserable wage cuck while she watches our kids? I hate this life, getting married was a mistake and I can't just up and leave. I would rather be dead and hope my wife remarries a good guy than have my son be fucked up from a divorce while he says how much he hates me on visiting weekends while I plow 20 year old sluts into my 40s to try and make up for being a shitty person. No, there is more honor in death.

My wife is fat, doesn't try to lose the weight and we fight a lot. We don't have sex, and it sucks when we do because she was a virgin when I met her and doesn't know how to do anything. Her family are ultra-christian conservatives that think I am the biggest degenerate in the world because I have 3 beers a week. Her mom is always talking shit behind my back and controlling how this family is ran. I have to deal with it because she is our babysitter while I am at school and I would have to drop out since we couldn't afford child care.

I don't see any other way out than a fucking buklet to my brain stem. Everyone would be happier and my son would be too young to even remember me. Its fucked up to have these thoughts, but I can't help it, I am fucking miserable.