FUCK FUCK FUCK HELP ME
THERES 2 PEOPLE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR I LOOKED THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE AND THEY SAW THAT SOMETHING BLOCKED THE LIGHT SO THEY KNOW IM AT HOME
THEY KEEP FUCKING KNOCKING WHAT DO I DO
Its those kids that you bullied in that game that you play.
They are coming to fuck you and your mum.
>>29271666
Just go sit back in a chair and get comfy they'll leave eventually
i think you're on the right track right here because making a thread on r9k is the first essential step in your survival. what you're gonna wanna do next is try to fap to some kind of tentacle/ monster loli hentai. then slice your wrists in the bathtub to give the blood god tribute so he can bring unspeakable atrocities onto your enemies
>>29271666
Yell at them to go away through the door? They probably mistook your place for their drug dealer's or something.
>>29271666
IT'S A HOME INVASION FAMPAI!
GRAB A WEAPON, AND WAIT!
>>29271666
You still alive senpai?
>>29271666
This is why you run silent when alone at home and have secondary observation points to check who is at the door.
Lessons are sometimes learned the hard way, I'm sorry OP.
If you have alcohol, drink some, pour some on you, and answer the door pretending to be drunk and tell them to bugger off and stop fucking with your hangover. They'll think you're a malfunctioning normie with drinking problems, instead of a robot.
>>29271666
Update us, nigger.
Also nice trips.
>>29271837
>This, I need to know
It's ok man unless it's the police or murderers they will give up eventually. It doesn't matter if they know you're there, they'll give up eventually. All you have to do is ignore them and they'll go away.
>>29271890
Probably true in most cases, but goddamn I'll tell ya, some of these door fuckers are really persistent sometimes. Like really, just fuck off and leave me alone.
>>29271666
grab a knife and wait.
if you don't you're gonna die op.
>>29271929
also barricade the door
Invite in for three some
You know deep down, this is exactly what you want you cock whore
OP you there?
Give us an update.
Start babbling insanely through the door. They will probably feel they have stumbled across some mentally unstable persons house and quickly leave.
>>29271666
What do they want?
Are they saying anything?
Are they solicitors?
Answer the fucking door, you idiot.
Or
Obtain your handgun from it's lockbox.
Empty a bottle milk, a half gallon jug works best.
Slide the barrel of the gun into the empty milk jug, this will act as a silencer and prevent your neighbors from hearing the gun fire.
There is no way of knowing where they are because they have covered the peephole. You are required guessing where centre mass will be.
A single shot through your front door will be enough to deter them. If they cannot run, be sure and bring the body into your house for questioning.
Interrogate for known affiliates. Torture is literally worthless, it has been found that captives under duress will say practically anything to protect themselves from pain and harm.
Be compassionate with the captive, offer medicine for his bullet wound, food, the best of what you have. Find out who they are and if they will be missed.
Make sure they are bound, it's imperative they know you are in control.
Decide whether or not they are valuable alive. They are shot, this poses a risk.
Suffocate them with a common grocery store shopping bag. It is clean and leaves little or no evidence.
After the individual is deceased, the body must leave your dominion. I suggest draining the blood in your shower or bath tub; hang the body by the foot and slash the throat. All of the blood will rush out of the body and go down the drain. Leave the hot water on throughout the entire process to prevent evidence from getting caught in your drains. The human body has 6 pints of blood, but every drop counts.
After all of the blood has been drained from the body, you will need to dismember the deceased. Arms, legs, and torso. At this point, rigor mortis has set in and that will limit your capabilities with moving the deceased. Put one of each limb into a black garbage bag. Bag as many times as necessary.
Now, the most difficult aspect will be disposal.
call the popo 911
Guys he hasn't replied in over 30 minutes, he's dead.
>>29272010
It's bait.
Op is a faggot
open the door with your dick in your hand and
IMMEDIATELY
start pissing and screaming
assert your dominance right from the start
and you will stand a better chance of defending
your territory
>>29271666
>THEY SAW THAT SOMETHING BLOCKED THE LIGHT SO THEY KNOW IM AT HOME
So what?
You dont have to open the fucking door just because they know youre home
>>29272127
Yea but maybe if they didnt know he was home they wouldnt keep knocking, idiot
>>29272215
who gives a shit, let them keep knocking.
just because they know he is home and they keep knocking doesnt mean he HAS to open the fucking door, retard
>>29271666
This is why I have a sword on my wall.
I will be prepared when they try to rob me.
>>29272925
Lol like you'd actually use it
Yfw OP died.
>>29271666
It's probably just marketers you faggot, why does everyone assume that someone's out to get OP because they're knocking on his door? Could even just be his neighbours because he was being annoying or some shit.
>>29272977
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/01/johns_hopkins_student_from_nj_1.html
>>29272091
Pretend to chant nonsense loudly but calmly.
