What's the worst/stupidest thing you have ever done while horny?
>>29242014
When I was first learning how to masturbate and what made my dick feel good, I'd run it under water or rub it against furniture.
>>29242014
Stuck things up my ass without lube
My ass has never been the same
>>29242014
Using a nano bot to stimulate myself
>>29242014
Fapped to furshitnot scat tho
>>29242014
I've cumsharked a girl while in class before
>>29242038
Cutfag here. I used to hump furniture to get off all the way up until I was 13 because no one explained to me that when you're cut, you need lube to masturbate.Which is weird because I live in the United States of Cutfags.
>>29242014
I tried to stick a toothbrush up my butt
i'm not cute or anything like that
That was pathetic
>>29242014
Made my friend suck my dick while he cosplayed as Sanae.
gave my friend a handjob while he jacked me off, i licked him on the neck and he held me tightly, he was a lot taller and bigger than me.
we're not gay though.
Put a spiked cardboard tube on my dick, attached a vibrator to it, buckled my pants real tight with a belt, put a lock on the belt, and tossed the key into my cluttered closet.
>>29242014
Broke my dick. Literally, it made a pop noise and then next day it's erectile dysfunctional AND premature ejaculating. NHS is fucking slow, it's been nearly a year of examination and they've not finished their tests ffs.
Be gentle with your wangerdoodles brobots, you don't know how much it means to a man till you lose it.
>>29243144
what is thay
>>29242014
Cam in my pants a lot and you could see the cum and some guys knew it was cum thats why im scared of meeting people I used to talk to
Dripped on the floor, the supernatural nutrients grew super roaches that fought back. They cornered me but little did they suspect I cornered them, spliting in half my powerless decoy acted as a decoy to escape.
i jerked off in the shower with shampoo when i was like 14 and my dick burned and was red for like 3 days
dont jerk off with shampoo
>>29243664
cumming onto them without them knowing or consenting
Told my ex I was still in love with her.
That or jerked off to sissy hypnosis ASMR. It's kind of a toss up which was more regrettable and embarrassing.
>>29243787
C O N D I T I O N E R
But don't put in in your butt.
>>29243867
>It's kind of a toss up which was more regrettable and embarrassing.
Telling your ex you were still in love with her. That sissy hypno stuff is your own business, and if you're not doing it regularly it's not going to fuck with what turns you on. Telling your ex you still love her causes a shitload of baggage to come up, though.
>>29242014
Tried to simulate a tit fuck with two water balloons and lube, and a plastic grocery bag. I felt stupid after a few thrusts then it just got uncomfortable, and I got rid of them, and got out the fleshlight to finish.
>>29243527
that sounds hot a. f
>>29243339
I'm cut and a dry fap all the time
You have to grip the skin shaft below the head
>>29242014
When I was like 12 I fapped with baby powder. It makes your dick dry and frictionless
True story
>>29242014
cucked some random guy, while cheating.
Everyone involved at the time was pure shit, including me.
>>29243897
Fuck. There are so many things I put on the dick that I wish I did not put on the dick. Luckily nothing too bad.
>>29243867
>sissy hypnosis
I don't know why but when I was on steroids for some medical condition I felt really gay for like a week or two. I couldn't get off to anything but gay porn.
Usually I cycle between things, 2D to 3D gifs, then porn sites, then 2d, etc.
Masturbated with people online that I had no real interest in.
Sucked cock. Im a straight guy btw. Never doing that again
Murdered in the name of Succoth-Benoth.
Hooked up with a cute twink, but thought I was gonna be able to pull the "it's not gay if you're the one fucking" card. We got to the spot, he sucked my dick, then immediately said he was gonna fuck me. I was so horny I agreed to it thinking I'd get to top after. He was small so it didn't hurt, and shamefully I got off on just ass pleasure.
fapped in shower, had been in there for a while and parents knocked on door so I stood up and ran my cum hands through my hair
>>29242014
I was turned on but also fucking pissed, so I started punching my dick and ended up ejaculating in my new pants.
This only made me more pissed.
>>29243641
Did it hurt though?
>>29243554
Lmao no homo bro rite
>be me super horny
>be jacking for a a good Half hour without Nutting
>really wanna just splurge and get it over with
>decide the stakes aren't high enough
>let my dick go soft
>get dressed and walk down hall to neighbors room
>(its one house set up like apartments, one kitchen 4 bathrooms, 8 bedrooms)
>knock to make sure she's not there
>she's this super hot chick from jamaica
>have no idea when she's coming back so I move quick
>pick lock
>strip down to nakedness
>jerk for like 3 mins and I'm already Nutting
>guess the paranoia that someone would catch me had that effect
>nut in her shoe
>it's silent enough so I jerk for another 10 mins
>find her dirty panties and take deep wiffs while I jack it
>nut on her clean ones
>decide to go all the way this time in this time
>lock the door just in case
>lay in her bed and jerk for about 5 mins
>doorknob jiggles
>it's her
>I'm scared as hell but for some reason just keep jacking instead of hiding
>turns out she forgot her key
>she leaves to get it and I nut on her pillow
>get dressed and leave before she comes back
If she ever figured something was off or found out that it was me she sure hasn't let it show or change anything
Yea I feel bad about it now but desu it was still the best session I've ever had and I would do it again if I wasnt so sure id get caught this time
>>29246584
>this
>happened
I want to believe
>>29247125
I'm a sick fuck bro, I've done it before in much less risky increments this was just the pinnacle
Tried to use a dildo a little too big for me. Could have been worse, I just bled pretty good. Once I got it in it stopped bleeding and I just cleaned up the mess with my nearby sock. The resultant scabs around my asshole were annoying as hell to deal with though.
once climbed over my balcony to get into neighbors apartment to steal panties
went well but after fapping with them i realized i was a horrible person and i put them in the trash and cried
>>29242014
Watch my girlfriend fuck a black guy while I jerked off in my computer chair. We were both wasted.
Completely serious
>>29242014
dressed up in women's clothes and fapped while a family member died downstairs
>>29242014
fucked a 300lb girl and told her i loved her
when i realized i didnt actually love her and lost my virginity i broke up with her and she almost killed herself
>>29247626
yeup, God sure is dead
i put a pencil in my dick hole
>>29242014
Paid money for porn. Paid for porn with my mom's credit card was definitely the dumbest.
I put peanut butter on my dick and had my dog lick it off while my family was home in the other room. I actually almost got walked in on but I heard them coming and covered up.
>>29247398
Fuck, how big?
I masturbated in the balcony once.
Really want to do it again but the circumstances haven't showed up again...
>>29247697
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7R2-9sVyNI&index=2&list=RDklOqUyxk9Eo
started coming to this website
>>29245377
It was but now we don't talk anymore after I blew a load in his mouth.
>>29247697
depending on how the next few weeks go it might just be the end for me, i cant carry on like this
pretended that my libido somehow overrides my true detachment from people in my head
>>29242014
stealth jerked in 8th grade while checking out my crush who had awesome big tiddies before any other girls. i might have done this twice.
>>29247626
haha wew fuckin ladshit just happens like that sometimes though, i understand
>>29242014
If I weren't shit at tying knots, I'd be dead
>be a big fan of choke and stroke
>suspension hang while beating off as usual
>safety mechanism is to simply stand up
>stand up one time after cumming
>suddenly really dizzy and seeing spots that rapidly fade to black
>wake up face first on the ground as the sheet had untied itself from the anchor
Now I just smother myself with my free hand while I jerk off.
>>29243527
>Sanae
any pics of your friend?
also how did you make him suck your dick also why was he cosplaying as a female character
fucked a dog when i was young :/
I had regrets afterwards but I fingered my mom whilst she was passed out drunk, not sure what I would do if she woke up.
Probably get sent into foster care.
Where do I start mate
>watch porn together with friend
>jerk off my friend while he jerks me
>suck off my friend
>suck off my own dick
>swallow his cum
>swallow my own cum
Did this a couple times (like 20 times) until I realised how gay I was being and I stopped
>>29242014
>crossdress in public and jerkoff in front of people
>masturbate with a cloth that had cleaning stuff on it
>dick is sore as shit
>skin peeling off for the next week
Surprised my dick came out of that looking normal, I thought I was proper fucked
Fisting myself
>>29249928
I remember you from another thread
small world
>>29242014
one time I spent 4 hours downloading and tweaking Fallout NV to get a nude mod to fap to
kind of related i guess
>decided that I wanted to make myself smell nice because I was going on my first date ever
>thinking i might have sex on first date
>spray my sick with deodorant so it smells good for her, fucking destroys my penis
>it shrivels up and goes all wrinkly
>its still like that now, it never healed
>>29250337
this is the only one I can relate to
At some point I wasted at least 16 hours or so tweaking skyrim to have everything possiblea lot was just trying to get giantess stuff to work
might consider doing it again in the future sometime, it is quite worth but you feel like you've wasted a lot of time after
Once jacked off to a teenage girl through the blinds on a second story. She was playing in the streets. I was underage at the time too. Was also my sisters bed.
me and my Libyan friend masturbated to the girl in front of me during class once. we kept mumbling "masturbation across the nation" to each other.
you might think this is bait but it actually happened
>>29250522
Reminds me of how me and one of my former friends once peeped at a little girl in the swimming bath. What the fuck were we thinking jesus christ...We were not caught.
Incest. Probably not original.
>>29250637
tell us more anon and greentext it
>>29242014
>replied to this thread
>>29250645
I don't want to greentext it since it grosses me out, but me and my aunt had a fling which came about from getting super horny in a sauna together.
>one time I put my dick in a cup of water that was room temperature because I thought that's what a pussy was when I was 8
