If your oneitis finally agreed to be your gf but only if you defeated this gigantic spider in unarmed combat, would you accept her challenge?
I literally would, I'd be scared as fuck, but if I lost at least I'd get to die.
Not unarmed. Would fight with crude wooden spear or better
>>29241944
actually, the spider would make you her husband instead
Fuck no. It's not worth it. I lost my opportunity years ago and she's been with 2 or 3 guys since.
>>29241992
>if I lost at least I'd get to die.
Not quickly. It'd first inject you with its paralyzing venom. Then, since they can't digest solid food, it'd inject you with liquifying enzymes and suck out your nutrients while you're still alive.
>>29242032
>spidergirls
based
>>29241944
No, I'm not going to be an orbiter.
>Defeats spider.
>"Yeah, haha, thanks anon. But I was just kidding about the gf thing. We can still be friends though XD"
What robot in their right mind wouldn't? Either:
A. You get to die a non-humiliating death.
B. You get your oneitis.
>>29242131
all too true
>>29242032
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLoIVedt9nA
I'd throw oneitis to the giant spider. If I can't have her, no one can.
Plus, look at that thing. You really want to piss that spider off? I'd rather feed it an easy meal and get the fuck out of there.
>>29242272
Pretty good idea actually. I would throw oneitis to spider and also would use my phone to record her being eaten from a safe distance so I could masturbate to it later.
>>29242032
>furry
>antropomorph
Literally what's the point? Just to have an EPIC fetish?
>>29242131
I don't think you understand the game sweetie.
>>29241944
> thanks anon for killing that huge icky spider. It was blocking me from going into Chads house.
>Whats that, you got bit! Oh no, well i sure it will work out for you. Sorry gotta go, Chad needs his balls drained again or he gets grumpy. Later.
>>29241944
Unarmed combat kind of defeats the entire purpose of being a human being. I'd defeat it, but I'd do it with some buckshot.
>>29241944
Sure. Presuming that I'm fighting it on Earth, it would immediately collapse under its own weight, then I would put it out of its miserable existence.
there's probably a sledgehammer in the garage
i'd go get that and feel brave enough to fight it
Fighting it unarmed is suicide soyes I would
>>29242431
>sledgehammer
>unarmed
See me after class, anon.
>>29242368
You browse way too much reddit pham
>propane tank next to spider
>throw rocks at it
>tank explodes
>????
>PROFIT!
>>29242462
>throwing a rock
>unarmed
READ THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE REPLYING YOU RETARDED PIECE OF SHIT
>>29241944
My oneitis loves spiders so that would never happen
>>29241944
i would easily just hit its weak spot for massive damage. fuck crabs
>>29242368
Actually, it would just die of oxygen deprivation. Giant spiders come with the assumption of strength to support themselves. However, there's no physical way for it to receive enough oxygen.
>>29242107
That wouldn't be as painful as the fact that you lost her anyway...
That spider must be slow as shit,it's even missing a leg
Just kick it to death
>>29242476
I did. It said I had to fight the spider unarmed. I am not fighting the spider with ricks, I am fighting the propane tank. Its destruction resulting in the fire being ignited and burning to death is merely collateral damage.
>implying a spider that big could even move
>>29242554
You're not allowed to use rocks even if you're throwing them at something other than the spider. Unarmed means unarmed.
Fuck no. I don't have a oneitis because I am not a child, and am mature enough to realize that my relationships up to this point haven't worked out for a reason.
Anons, there is nobody on this earth who is so unique that they are better than all others. Keep your eyes open for potential candidates and ask them out sooner rather than later to give the relationship a chance to develop. If you aren't fucking/considering sex after at least a week of meeting her, you are getting friendzoned and should move on.
>>29242554
The propane tank gets oneitis because it defeated the spider. Too badFOR YOU:^)
the joke is that this is actually the movie enemy and your oneitis IS the giant spider.
>>29242535
It still has 5 legs more than you do. Enjoy kicking it with 2 legs when you get kicked back by 5.
I know how to throw a spear, albeit not that well. But I have no oneitis. So the spider lives.
>>29241944
that is your problem robot, you think you need to do something to get a gf
there are plently of girls out there that suck your dick just for existing
>>29241944
Fuck no. A regular spider would fuck me up, something that big would probably cause city-wide damage.
>>29242032
Sure would if this were the outcome, though.Moreso if I could become the spider-queen's spider-wife though.
Yes. I'd just lure it into traffic and wait for a car to hit it. This would weaken it enough for me to finish it off.
Just Jojo that shit...use the gas tank to spray it, then use a lighter to spark it on fire, doesn't count as a weapon.
>>29242684
>>29242700
stop trying to find loopholes. Unarmed means you have to fight it with your hands, no weapons, no tools, no rocks, no cars.
>>29242032
This anon gets itoriginality is a social construct shitlord
Suffocate it by fisting it's lungs.
realistically speaking and assuming that the spider of that size manages to function on this earth with all of its strengths and weaknesses preserved in proportion to its size, could an unarmed human defeat it?
ps no oneitis here, just curious about the limitations of the human body
>>29242716
the spider is already using the environment to its advantage by climbing a wall yo, if I tackle that shit and pound its head into the ground does that count as using a weapon? you stop trying to stretch the definition of a weapon.
>>29241944
wait for it to be on the ground
climb up onto the roof of that building
jump off the roof and land on top of the spider
hope that it gets squished and dies so I don't have to do anything else
>>29242764
If it retains the same speed then no.
If it doesn't then maybe
>>29242554
>I an fighting the propane tank.
Lost all of my shit.
>>29242637
How do i kick with both my legs
>>29242937
Double flying kick
>>29242937
>jump up in air
>kick with both legs
>probably fall on your back, break it and get raped by spider before it eats you alive
>>29242955
>you are now picturing a spider doing an octuple flying kick
1- no
2- Why be with someone who's only with you because you killed a spider
3- Fuck no. There is a sphere around me that I like to call the no spider zone.
Yes but only if I was able to become a berserker. I'd fucking bite its abdomen with my gorilla like teeth.
I dont really have a oneitis (thats like a longtime crush you cant get over, right) but I'd fight that spider, no problem. If I jumped on its back I'd be pretty much completely safe, albiet very uncomfortable thanks to its microhairs, but I could punch its eyes in or even a good elbow or heel to the head might kill it, chitin is brittle. The only real danger is if it hooks you with its feet and pulls you in.
>>29242513
Its only as big as a bigger dog, I'm sure book lungs can work at that scale.
>>29242637
Only one or two legs could kick, the others either need to be supporting the spiders weight or they'd be on the other side.
>>29242107
sounds hot desu
>tfw no black widow giantess gf to bone you then eat you alive
>>29242535
N-no that's rude
>>29242368
>it would immediately collapse under its own weight
No, that's retarded. Just because exactly scaling up a small spider to a massive size wouldn't work doesn't mean you can't have massive spiders. It would just have differences in biology. There are already 30 centimeter wide spiders alive today. Also, this coconut crab is about as large as that spider in the op picture and looks close enough to a spider so you can substitute coconut crab for spider if you want a creature that definitely can exist for this scenario.
