Describe your entire life, so far, in some meme arrows
>only child
>had some friends in elementary school, but already noticeably a recluse
>was an easy target to unleash frustrations at
>high school, slightly better, but still mostly by myself, vidya more than anything
>didn't have too much trouble in life before puberty
>everything started to go to shit at 16 when I was constantly mocked for being a shut in
>started listening to metal to vent my anger, which allowed me to have some friends because we shared the same subculture
>went on for years, I was pretty ok, had a gf for a while, some goth chick
>go to uni, don't have many friends there at all
>stop listening to metal, lose most of those friends
>go to some normie parties every now and then, but I never really feel accepted by the crowd
>be more and more alone
>finish my studies
>meet girl online, but after a year that ends horribly as long distance shit is too hard to manage
>wallow in my own misery
>do on and off jobs, not enough to sustain myself
>hope to maybe move abroad and start anew, but that's uncertain
>in the meantime, read books
>turn to mysticism, I find some happiness in texts like that, but I also see the futility of my own existence as just a drop in nothingness
>>29241321
>Born 2 years before brother
>Had a few friends in preschool
>Moved house when i started highschool so i knew noone
>after about a week of not talking to anyone i got a best friend so to speak
>Pretty much did everything with her
>Best friend moved to the US in year 10
>Started to not go in 50% of the time
>finished highschool with mostly Bs and a few As
>started college with an IT course
>Met some fag the first day which turned into best friendo and only friendo
>got kicked out by mum into a flat she rented out
>did not talk to any family at all but still leeched money off them
>Best friend and i used to play and watch games at mine all the time
>started struggling more with anxiety so stopped going into college as much
>By this time i was mostly just sitting on steam all day making a few online friends
>did some cringy "e-dating" for a while
>finished my first year off college then never went back
>got a simple IT tech job which lasted all of 24 weeks
>spent a whole year doing nothing other than sitting on steam and playing vidya
>started going to the docs for meds etc etc
>gave up on docs about a year later
>mum asked said i should move back in and i did
>been at hers for about 25 weeks now
>still doing nothing other than talking to one guy online
>sleeping almost all day and waking up at 6pm most days
>wondering on what to do with my life like most other people on here
>>29241321
what were the parties like?
>>29241321
Read Epictetus, anon
>Get born, keep warm
>Short pants, romance, learn to dance
>Get dressed, get blessed
>Try to be a success
>Please her, please him, buy gifts
>Don't steal, don't lift
>Twenty years of schoolin'
>And they put me on the day shift
>>29241321
>Grow to be 11 with abusive single mother
>13 year old brother killed her then himself when I was 11
>Raised through the system
>Instinctively recluse because of mother probably
>Bullied by kids through middle and high school
>Wagecucking now at 19
>KV to top things off
>>29241321
>born to parents who didn't want, live with other relatives
>really popular in the first few years of school
>become less popular as the years go on, I notice it and it sucks but whatever
>I still enjoy life and have a lot of fun with friends
>start secondary/high school
>hate it but still have some spirit
>girls are pretty nasty to me and I let it hurt my ego more than it should
>experiences with girls mixed with the scale of the new place gradually starts to wear me down
>stop talking to most people. Even sat next to people for a whole year I would barely utter a word. I deeply regret this now
>get heavily involved with drugs with various friends
>stop going in the final two years most of the time
>still go in for exams
>try to learn various trades at college but fail
>get heavily involved with alcohol with one male friend
>eventually me and my drinking buddy stop hanging out
>become a full on recluse because I alienated my other friends to get drunk all the time, and because I wasn't really enjoying their company anymore
>drink heavily alone for about 2 years daily, take drugs quite often
>don't drink as much now
>often just sit alone dwelling on how bad I've fucked my life up
Oh well.
>complete
>fucking
>shit
>be born illegitimately like my brother, 6 years older
>father was a fuck up, mother wasn't any better
>raised by my mother for 99.999% of my childhood
>she never pushed me forward socially, although retrospectively I can't blame her as much as me just being repelled from my peers
>father eventually has two more illegitimate children with a golddigger who completely fucked his life over for good. Like shovel and dirt, six-feet-deep for good
>father becomes destined to raise these two children better than his first two, who he deems as having "messed up on"
>end up becoming a total non-entity as I fail to grasp what it means to be a person since my mother was a lazy couch potato and my dad was useless
>literally achieve nothing during highschool, don't push myself forward socially
>come to grips with why I'm fucked up after graduation
>literally just read something where my father says he relates more to his gold digger's daughter than me
>realize that my entire life is a patriocentric mess which will probably never be resolved
>>29242810
*by "nasty" they would take the piss out of me in a tongue in cheek way like feign interest in front of their friends for laughs or tell me I wasn't funny in a really cold way.
>youngest child, have one older sister
>parents cared a lot
>pretty wealthy family (net worth ~25mm)
>made sure I had lots of friends in elementary school
>I often felt like a bad kid for doing ordinary kid stuff, like being mean to other kids or stealing sweets from the corner store
>developed a lot of existential anxiety in elementary school
>this defined the following years in a large way
>puberty hits hard
>lose most of my friends, become a weirdo find 4chan
>10th grade comes and I begin the journey back to normalcy
>dated girls through high school, lost virginity
>not Chad, but not a weirdo
>smart, top grades of my graduating class of 500, valedictorian
>existential anxiety subsides a bit and I embrace life more
>date a girl I liked quite a lot
>leave for uni and we break up
>first year of uni is OK, get good grades, focus all my energy on success, some girls, working hard, etc.
>get good paying internships, work 30hrs/week during the year
>meet a fantastic girl in second year
>she is incredible
>dating her now
>existential anxiety surfaces with a vengeance
>miss work, can't focus, can't accomplish anything
>scared I am losing my mind
>recently, things get a little better
So that's where I am now /r9k/
>born three years after older brother
>made a friend across the street
>we use to play sports
>i got into video games
>born a robot
>happy playing video games
>i didn't like sports
>find out i was a slow learner
>get put into special ed classes
>classes were small
>no friends in high school
>quite
>grauate
>drive to community college
>push carts at a grocery store
>graduate college with a useless degree
>get a job
>mothers day crash my car into a tree
>go to rehabs
>post here and go to rehab
>realized i screwed my life up
>>29242852
I was a friendless loser and they did that with me too.
Beginning of life
>7yo
Parents decide, let's move out to another country but us first you stay
Stayed with grandma who moved me to some shit school and apparently I don't remember any of this because it was so traumatic
>Get to other country, stay a bit, make a friend, typical Slav parwnts beat me up,is ok
"Friend" tells teacher , teacher forced me to show bruises, got taken away, said I want back, they took me back, parents though all was my fault, never trusted me again
>Get another friend few years later
Best friend tells everyone I slept with her boyfriend because some ho dared her to. Whole school hates on me, I stopped going, move schools
>New school seems ok
Get group of friends,seems all good, suddenly they drift away because they find out I am not a feminist and even possibly racist and they befriend more shit people so friends group falls apart
>Currently haven't spoken to people irl for quite a long time, every once in while I post on r9k so someone will be my friend but those fall apart after a week or so because online
University soon, I m hoping to get a friend.
>Everyone posts their story, nobody reads anyone else's or replies to anyone
>Everyone who posted keeps the thread open in a tab and refreshes it from time to time to see if anyone replied to their story
>only child for 10 years
>IQ tested when I was 7148 IQ
>had friends, but could never relate to other elementary school kids
>could never relate to family
>want to die occasionally (first depressive period)
>middle school
>still no real friends
>fat/uggo
>boys ask me out or call me hot as a joke (hilarious)
>miserable and tired all the time (second depressive period)
>high school
>top student, tons of extracurriculars, get into good uni
>still kind of fat/uggo
>first real bf
>still no real connection with him or anyone else
>periodically cry and not know why I am crying (third depressive period)
>uni
>bf dumps me
>fourth and worst depressive period (unrelated to being dumped though)
>grades go to shit
>start medication
>start restricting food intake
>become underweight
>finally attractive
>guys actually notice me/hit on me now
>still have a deep distrust of any guys who say they find me attractive
>4.0 GPA again
>promise myself I will end my life soon after my undergrad degree is finished
>this is the only thing that keeps me going
>live down the street from a guy
>notice him, he's never seen me
>wonder what the fuck he does
>one day tells me to "listen up you nosy bitch"
>"listen close
>"my most recent purchase old black rope
>'gonna learn how to tie it
>"hang it in my chamber
>"perfect reminder of the occult I'm made of
>"came try it out whenever you want to"
>that night 3:30 in the morning death was on my front porch
>I could feel him itching to take me with him
>say "what the fuck you waiting for"
>doesn't answer, hands me his weapon
>he slurs "use at your own discretion
>"It's been a pleasure, anon."
>>29242936
What are you studying?
I guarantee this post is original, robot.
>>29242920
indeed the story of my life
>>29242972
computer engineering
>>29242984
I often do this but I've been reading these ones, and feeling.
>>29242996
School? I have a similar story to you
>>29243026UWaterloowhat about you
>>29243042
UBC. I almost went to Waterloo (math) but decided against it because Vancouver is nicer
>>29243061
Vancouver is full of hippies, you can keep it lol
>tfw I was the only one in my high school who did all the Waterloo maths contests
got to skip class though
> Born
> Be a shy kid who occasionally acts out
> Start to become a little more unstable as I watch more tv and imitate it (easily influenced)
> Start repressing my autistic tendencies around 6th grade so I could fit in with normies
> Get bored with friend groups constantly because I'm just fitting in instead of having fun
> Go through 4-5 groups by the time I graduate high school
> Dated a girl in high school, don't think I liked her that much, but I hadn't had a gf before so I dated her for the hell of it
> Cute girl, 7/10. We broke up after a few months probably because I stopped wanting to pretending I cared.
> Tried to enter normie life again in college. Made friends easily, but the same problem happens again.
> Decide to watch more anime for the hell of it one day.
> Start crying and experiencing real emotions again for the first time in years.
> Still make appearances at gatherings occasionally, but don't try to fit in any more.
>24 yr old virgin who only dated one girl
I'm more happy sitting alone in my room watching anime than I ever was going to parties and doing normie things. I'm not ugly so I'll never feel robot feels, but this way of life is much more comfortable for me.
>>29241321
>eldest child ( have younger brother )
>never crawled as a child, just one day stood up and started walking
>was into reading and drawing during early childhood
>quite introvert and spend time by myself
>start attend kindergarden
>few bullies but mostly chill children
>never had any good friends there
>started stuttering at 5
>started first class
>always took my bro from kindergarden (i was 7, he was 5)
>was daydreaming and conflicting child
>at dance lesson i had to choose a female pair but i ended up dancing alone
>started going to basketball (for 4 years)
>had first crush (did absolutely nothing)
>got first computer and ended up spending all time in front of it
>almost drowned in swimming pool at 7th grade
>best friend left at 9th grade
>major depression at the end of 10th grade
>finished school with honors
>thought maybe i find similar people at uni
>ohboyiwaswrong.jpg
>1 semester spent drinking and was thrown out of room
>2nd year was pretty boring
>3rd year another crush to whom i ended up writing a short poem
>later saw how she was making out with erasmus chad
>stormed out of festival with t-shirt in the middle of winter
>4 months later
>another crush on cashier
>sent an autistic portrait of her as a b-day gift
>she was talking with me out of pity
>eventually stopped answering
>4th year
>tried to contact after a whole year
>she drops me (we never met or talked in real life btw)
>fucked up bachelor thesis
>took academic vacation
>spent working for 4 months in UK flower factory
>it's hell of earth
>get back to uni
>finish bachelor degree
>next week i take diploma
>have to find a job but dont have neither desire nor energynobody reads this shit anyway, so whats the point of these threads.
>drug addict parents
>mom loves me more then her husband(my dad)
>has me do weird incest things with her growing up(no penetration) because Dad won't
>dad hates me for it
>get physically mentally, emotionally, psychologically almost every day by Dad
>mom is afraid of dad. so she has me lie to him to protect her
>if I don't lie well enough. mom turns her back on me and sides with dad
>mom never loved me
>dad never loved me
>Because of how my mom touches me think that's normal
>Doctor starts molesting me from as young as I can remember till 12
>Third grade teacher starts molesting me for 2 years
The only one thing I could say is I at least had friends.
Everyone liked me but it was one of those situations where I just want to make people happy so they don't feel sad like me
But I could never actually make any connections with anyone because of what was going on at home
I was always trying to make sure my parents were happy.
If I didn't make them happy I felt like a failure which was a lot of the time.
So I didn't feel like I had any friends growing up
Extremely mentally ill at least my doctors tell me
>>29243091
Well good luck anon. Sorry to hear you're exiting after you graduate
>>29243195
thank you! good luck to you too. We'll see if I feel the same way in a year. if you trick yourself into thinking you're going to die soon then you'll release a lot of anxieties. maybe you should try it out :)
>>29241321
>have twin brother and big brother one year older
>shy and get bullied
>had a group of friends
>at the end of middleschool "friends" casually tell me they don't consider me as a friend
>tfw nobody likes me for some reason
>high school, in a field i don't like at all (building and construction stuff)
>years go by and i get more alone
>got bullied in internship
>fuck up all my grades thus any possibilities to change field
>BTS (it's like an associate degree)
>same field, same shit
>now at the end of my BTS, no idea what will happen next, i just fucked up everything
>i basically spent the last 5 years being alone and dreaming about what i could be
>inevitably became nihilist and depressive-like attitude
tfw my life is empty and it's shit
>only child to pretty good parents
>most popular kid in pk
>go to elementary
>hang out with the guys, not interested in playing barbies with girls. befriend weirdkid
>Guys figure out I'm a girl in gr 2
>kicked out of group
>become weirdkid 2.0
>middle school
>befriend normie and new weird kid
>grow tits
>girls hate me because tits
>guys cant hold convo because tits
>highschool
>make friends
>get depressed
>get into more into gaming
>hang out with gamer guys
>At first awk because female
>now one of the crew
>at point where am considered guy with boobs
>working on anxiety and health issues that are stopping me from school
>be born
>be a happy thin kid til 7
>get fat
>learn martial arts and draw
>become depressed until senior year
>get a gf
>save gf from parents hitting her
>live with her in my cramped room with my parents
>develop drinking problem
>no longer fear death
>>29243116
czesc
>conceived by heroin addicts
>only child
>kept in complete isolation in rat-infested hovels while parents got high in their room
>not allowed to play outside
>didn't meet another child until starting school
>start school
>always the dirtiest and grossest kid there
>constant cat piss smell
>love going to school to get out of the house, honor student
>lost all hope or enthusiasm by middle school
>spend all day on virtual pet websites
>become le edgy goth and start cutting, not for attention but just so that people would be scared i'd kill myself if they were too mean
>start posting on 4chan
>make goth friend who lived in a hoarder house nearby
>things are looking up
>start smoking weed
>start selling and it makes people talk to me
>start going to parties and getting too drunk
>enroll in college
>start having panic attacks
>drop out of college
>get a job
>snapped within the month, in a very public and embarrassing way
>never return
>get online job
>stop going outside
>stop talking to friends
>awake all night, sleep all day
>start making good money
>start drinking before leaving the house so I won't feel as terrified
>start drinking all the time
>starting to fuck up on responsibilities due to drink
>thinking about going to detox, seeing a therapist, quitting this site, and turning life around
And that's about it for now. Fun exercise OP. Hadn't thought about most of that for a long time. Really thought there would be more good times in there though.
>>29243124
Jesus christ dude. I....
I'll keep it brief so that someone actually bothers to read it.
>parents emotionally abuse me as a child
>no friends throughout school, spend all my time playing video games and browsing 4chan ever since 6th grade
>typical 'smart but lazy' bullshit in school, get into an good university, not forced to study shit I don't care about so graduate early and begin postgrad at a research institution
>manage to date a girl, but she's emotionally abusive and treats me really awfully
>currently live with parents who resent me, poor as fuck, spend all my time on schoolwork, 4chan, vidya, and music, hopelessly seeking some sort of emotional intimacy or connection but online interactions are far too transient for such things to occur
wew
>>29241321
>oldest of 3
>already feel different than rest of peers at early age
>don't really get along with kids my age
>hang out with grade school kids since mom works at a daycare center
>be happy and functional through most of elementary school
>become a pizzafaced beta faggot in middle school
>high school is more of the same except once in a while a girl who isn't afraid to be seen with me will talk to me or hug me now and then
>drop out senior year
>finish nest year in adult school
>first job at wally world, it was a good first job to have, I guess
>fired after 2 years because of a co-worker named 'chad'
>unemployeed for a while
>can't collect shit because terminated
>get job at supermarket
>work there 5 years until affirmative action nigerian faggot wants to micromanage the store and get rid of people closing in on being full time
>out of work some more
>get hired at dollar store
>been working there the last 5 years
>>29241321
>youngest child, two younger sisters
>always managed to spill spaghetti, even when very young
>very needy kid, but very talkative honestly
>extroverted as fuck during middle school, until 7th/8th grade
>I was weak compared to other kids, so I got beat up, but never anything serious
>junior hs, got bullied a lot and nicknamed something terrible (and it sticked)
>never kissed until 17, maybe because I never had the opportunity before the nickname fucked everything up
>I was very bitter about it
>started smoking weed at senior hs
>overall, idk where I'm going in this fucking life
>stuck between enfp and entp
>agnostic, but I do believe there's something weird about how human consciousness works, even if it's something "quantical"
>>29244845
two older sisters damn I messed it up
Massive over simplifications incoming to shorten what could easily fill a book
>born eldest of three children to two completely unstable, unpredictable, insane cunts that called themselves my parents
>father's extreme violence influenced me from as early as 4 years old to take out my frustration and forced emotion instability on animals and other people
>forced to raise my siblings and treated like an adult despite only being a child, conditioned not to show emotions or empathy for others under threat of abuse, pressured to be perfect at all times
>only respite was frequent trips to funerals thanks to very large family and negligent mother
>love for the dead was love at first sight
>necrophilia and violent behavior only got worse with age
>huge bully in school but went undetected thanks to being teacher's pet and completely unassuming
>homeschooled starting in 6th grade
>same year my mother's father died, bipolar grandmother came to live with us, brother's OCD and tourettes manifested, we moved to the middle of the desert, list all my friends and my father was arrested for holding a gun up to our neighbor's face
>my bipolar type 1 rears its ugly head
>rest of my adolescence is utter hell
>despite badly abusing any people that come into my life, being desperately homicidal and still trying to raise my siblings, I get a job, my own car, graduate from high school and get ready to enlist in the military by age 16
>lots of antisocial shenanigans, enlist in military at 18
>have premature arthritis, ruin the cartilage in my foot within months and after two years am unfit for duty
>inbetween desperately trying to get mental health services, going on dozens of medications, traveling across Europe being an antisocial, manic cunt, fighting horribly with hallucinations and necrophilia and alcoholism and trying to do my job as an intelligence analyst
This shit is STILL too long, so one more post
>>29244892
>wind up forced into three consecutive insane asylums and honorably discharged from the marines on account of antisocial personality disorder, despite it being a false diagnosis
>have to get surgery for my foot, goes well despite me waking up during the operation
>referred to an insanely expensive forensic psychiatrist who chemically castrates me in an attempt to cure my necrophilia and sexual sadism
>it backfires so badly that as soon as I recover from surgery I assault someone I know, on a military base, and get caught within the hour
>mearly wind up in prison, instead get kicked out of my home on the military base and taken to court
>briefly homeless, begin hopping from house to house for the next 6 years
>court of course deems me guilty, sentenced to indefinite psychiatric observation, probation, can't leave the city, etc. But no jail time thank fuck since the prosecution was sympathetic
>therapy is a joke, move to NY thinking things will be better
>house is a slum, can't find work for months, nearly wind up homeless again but scrape by by the skin of my teeth
>find a therapist who immediately recognizes I'm bipolar,gets me on lithium
>no more mania
>move to another state, get even better mental health care, they recognize I have OCD
>start exposure therapy
>have been doing so much better in the last two years, I haven't hurt anyone or done anything
>still a college dropout, still working shitty jobs, still alienated, still posting on 4chan every day about my shitty problems
>>29245007
Forgot a shitton of stuff but it's likely no one will even read so fuck it
>parents divorce when I'm real young
>happy early childhood
>weird kid in elementary school, have weird kid friends
>move to Iowa from Texas for 5th-8th grade, live the life of a Chad. Had three gf's and was friends with everyone
>find this place
>move back to Texas
>get really into music, stop talking to people so I can listen to more music
>depression begins because I lose the ability to communicate due to never talking to people, don't have good friends
>have two nights in high school where I almost killed myself and then got talked out of it both times by strangers
>was really smart, but depression made it so that I had no ambition, and thusly finished high school with mediocre grades.
>do opiates now, lost all hope of being successful and happy, probably will kill myself before I go to college in the fall. Don't want to be financial burden on parents.
Bumping before bed
Originally
>parents find out that my mother is pregnant while undergoing a divorce
>stay together because they're anti-abortion christians
>i am born, the youngest child of 2 older half sisters
>spend my childhood playing video games and acting out imaginary fantasies in my room by myself
>an outcast in elementary school with no friends, so shy i can't speak
>sisters are popular so they ignore me and pretend i'm not their brother when they see me
>constantly get bullied for being so shy i can't speak
>always the most intelligent in my class and always the only one with no friends
>start getting fat from eating my emotions away and playing videogames all day
>get bullied by this one select kid and his group of friends because of my weight so much that i finally snap during class and have a mental breakdown
>nobody bullies me anymore, much less acknowledges my existence
>get extremely depressed, existential anxiety makes me adopt a nihilistic outlook on life
>discover 4chan at 8 years old and start spending all my time there as a form of escapism from my life
>middle school comes and i get put into gifted classes above my grade
>get kicked out of gifted classes and put back into normie classes for not doing my homework
>start getting bullied again
>grades are failing because i don't participate
>my mother is cold and mean, my sisters are best friends but ignore me and my father is an alcoholic with extreme anger issues
>have nobody to depend on
>parents only acknowledge me to yell at me about my failures or to punish me
>drop out in my first year of high school
>attempt suicide
>live on suicide watch and in psych wards for months
>entire family pretends it didn't happen when i come back home
>parents get divorced
>mother kicks me out
>dad takes me in
I'm 20 now. I haven't left his apartment in five years. Cut off contact with the rest of my family. I was 450 lbs but in 6 months I'm down to 320 lbs. Once I reach a normal weight I'll leave the house and try to live again.
>>29245973
Hang in there m8, and congrats on all the weight loss
>>29241321
>Born three years after my older sister
>Shitty childhood, forced to feel guilty about needing anything (IE doctor visits, denistry, etc.)
>Dad was physically abusive
>Mother had overbearing expectations, always went on about how smart I was, how I needed to go to college, etc.
>Completely isolated at school, no friends at any point
>Used to it at this point, don't know any better
>Fast forward a few years, sophomore in highschool
>Start to apply myself, do slightly above average
>Got into streaming
>Met this girl whom at the seemed perfect
>Used me for every drop of cash I had
>Her and her side bastard pushed me to suicide
>She convinced the few friends I streamed with to accept her side bastard as a streamer
>I begged them not too, showing obvious proof of abuse
>They didn't care, was forced to resign
>Just lost the only friends I ever had
>Life started spiraling out of control, I fell into deep depression
>Attempted suicide multiple times
>Senior year
>Get rejected from all college but one
>Final semester rolls around
>Get so stressed out I eventually broke down, spent a few months in a mental hospital
>Flunk out of all my classes
>Had my admissions reversed due to bad semester grades
>Ended up making it next to impossible to get into college because me flunking out my last semester looks like normie ""senior-itis""
>Lived as a NEET for two years
>Got into drugs
>Got a manual labor job helping take care of cats at an animal shelter - minimal human contact
>Start making an income to buy drugs off of the darknet
And here I am
>crazy extrovert growing up
>everyone likes me as a baby
>original, creative, and fun to be around
>get fucking sick at age 8
>massive surgery, in recovery for 6 months, some precautions for about a year
>fucked my shit up big time
>became introverted, gained OCD, lost originality
>became that weird kid throughout rest of grade school
>barely recovering in college, now have some friends and am finally happy
>still no gf ever, doesnt look like I'm close in any way
>still hate talking, need 2 hours of alone-time to recover every 1 hour of social interaction
