Post in this thread if you are completely beyond any kind of redemption. If you know you are completely and irredeemably an outsider to society and will die an outsider, or if you have no desire to ever be a normal, functional member of society. Tell us your story.
>>29228288
I just want to enjoy my work, read books, play vidya, have enough money to support myself and to not be bothered by people who are angry I do not play their social game, or live up to their standards
>>29228288
But anon, when you're beyond any kind of redemption and a complete outsider, you have no story. You've always been alone and never done anything of interest of value.
>>29228861
That's pretty reasonable, who's angry though?
>>29229169
This is true. If I died right this very second, the only people that would notice and even care would be my phone service provider and other things that I pay a monthly bill to.
Going to "therapy" in a day-hospital, but I just pretend to want to better myself and whatever.
Why I would visit such institution then?
Welfare monies and also I help the docs and psychologists to get more tax monie :^)
>>29228288
I'll get flak for saying this, but you asked for a story, and so you shall receive.
First thing first, I'm not a robot. I once accidentally got a gf, and am neither kissless nor handholdless (though I'm still a virgin). We both realized it was a mistake and went our separate ways since.
Why do I say that it was a mistake ? For a very simple reason : almost everything in my life makes me a terrible would-be bf.
My father is a leech that latched on a providing woman and lived like a king at her expense, which means I had no functional role model for a healthy relationship in my youth.
Due to confidence problems, I am deathly scared of any relationships since seducing someone would mean that I toyed with their sentiments and unwittingly lied to them, pretending I'd make a good bf while I wouldn't, and letting down someone after that would be akin to breaking someone's heart.
Due to the above, I strongly believe that girls deserve better than me 98% of the time, and who am I to claim something I don't deserve ?
The list goes on and on. Simply put, I've given up entirely on getting a gf, ever, partly because I can't, partly because I dont' even want to anymore.
But what does that make me irredeemable, you may ask ? Well, look at today's society : normies have thousand stories to tell about their love life. And as I grow older, I'll start looking like more and more of an outcast for apparently not desiring intimacy.
So yes. I might be good at pretend, but at some point I will become an outsider. I just hope my mother will be dead by then so she won't be too disappointed by me in her life.
>Learn the ultimate truth about women as a parasitic life form
>Learn people are actively trying to cover it up E.G virgin shaming, male shaming etc
>Learn people have lives so mediocre they are glad you have problems or resent you for not being a rock
>Learn that being nice gets you nowhere
>Nothing matters, no longer able to see women sexually
>No longer angry
At work I agreed to organize a get-together. Literally all I had to do was call a restaurant and ask for a reservation. It took me a week and three panic attacks until I called.
>>29229850
Wait you actually did it? Fuck off normie
>>29229816
>first off, Im not a robot
And you know I really was planning on reading and finishing that post. Too bad.
>>29229201
Normies. All of them. Lurk around on /r9k/ right now. So many insults at so many innocent robots, just because they are robots. Because they lack motivation to do anything. They chose this way of things, so be it, they are not hurting anybody, normies should leave them alone and fuck off to normie sites.
>Why are you alone Anon?
I chose to be this way. Dating is no fun at all. Clubs are to loud. Drinking is fun, but second day sucks. Drugs are overpriced.
Would settle with some girl if I'd be given a chance, but talking with people about their bullshit, like selfies, or current media trends makes me wanna vomit.
Is it possible to be beyond redemption if I have a job?
>>29229877
I don't expect to receive anything but disrespect and insults for my condition by coming here, but weirdly enough it's the only place where I feel I can relate even if I don't belong. I'm glad you took the time to tell me how you feel though.
>>29229201
You are obviously a woman, and you have no idea the immense pressures men in western society face.
It's not your fault though. That's like asking a blind man to describe color.
>>29228288
I'm a 27 khv with diagnosed clinical depression for literally as long as I can remember. There's no hope for me and there never was.
>>29229956
No. You have redeemed yourself and found a part to play in society. You're not one of us.
When I was a little wee lad, about 8 years or so, my parents started gearing me towards university, which got me thinking about my own future. Other kids I got to know always had wishes of grandeur, wanting to become doctors, firefighters, even astronauts. I never had that. But when you're still a child you just want to fit in, so I tried looking out of possible prospects. Wherever others looked up to people with admiration and how they want to be like them, I just saw miserable humans trading away their limited time for sustaining comfort. Therefore I swore to never get into that hell, and have managed with faking mental disabilities ever since.
>>29228288
Society has two things to offer me, money and services.
Money isn't going to solve my problems and I don't like it. Services interest me but I don't need too many.
I just don't see any point in contributing to society.
I'm 29, got various mental health problems mainly depression and aspergers, on welfare and the idea of sexual intercourse just does not seem to interest me anymore. I seem to be more in to kissing and fondling.
I've always felt I was on the outside looking in and experiences trying to make friends up until my early 20s only reinforced that feeling.
What does the future hold for me? Suicide, and I'm not even trying to be edgy when I say this. There are days where I feel so empty and hopeless that I can see suicide as the only way out. I don't really want to die, but I don't really want to go on living either. I'm tired and want off this ride.
>>29228288
Don't want wealth, don't want sex, don't want a family, mostly just want to be left alone.
After spending a few years recovering from having no real father figure, I've found one thing that I just want to keep learning for the rest of my life, so I am going to uni, but I have done the stereotypical "its a group assignment, just gonna get a zero" autism thing, for example. No partying, no drinking, no drugs, just don't understand it all.
It seems most social contracts require the poor sucker on the shitty end to value his life, but I'm entirely willing to end it all. If I run out of money I'll happily starve to death. I guess even going to uni makes me less of a robot then many, but I definitely have no desire to normal and completely expect to die an outsider. Probably sooner rather than later, too.
>>29231159
What do you want to learn anon?
>>29231183
Its an interlinking chain of math, philosophy, and cognitive sciences.
Not very talkative. Dont talk to people I dont know irl. If I need to go outside and water plants or anything in my yard, I wait until 9pm or later when no one will be out. Different on the internet though, I talk to people I dont know a lot, and make some friends. I think this is just fine
>>29231272
Sounds comfy, anon
asdsas
>>29231299
It is. But there's a small downside. when you smell some really good barbecue going on somewhere and know that you'll never be asked "hey anon, wanna come over for dinner?"
>>29228288
Not masculine looking and zero masculine character. I'm some sort of failed abomination who should've been aborted. I want to believe that i'm introvert but when i read about how others sees and feels things, i feel so hollow. Everyone one around me has interests and dreams while i'm slowly self-destructing and i wonder what went wrong with me.
>23
>multiple diagnosed mental illnesses
>NEET and haven't worked in a year (because of said mental illness)
>virgin male
>live with mom
>room is a cluttered mess, used tissues, bowls and cups, beer cans everywhere
>have unironically urinated in bottles before
>can't be arsed to save up for anything useful, yet bought a powerful gaming PC
>injure myself with fire, sharp objects, or bang my head against the door when I run out of drugs and I'm stressed out
>can't remember the last time I did something that wasn't escapism
>depraved sexual fetishes
>spend 90% of my time in half-sleep listening to narrated creepypasta on YouTube while cuddling a dakimakura, enjoying the surreal dreams
>walk around in the woods at night alone, intoxicated, without a cell phone, telling no one where I am going in the hopes I get killed by something and be a missing 411 case
top that newfriends
>>29229286
>29229286
I go to day program too. Its boring as fuck, but I might get social security because of muh schizoaffective
>>29228288
>schizophrenic neet on autismbux
>31 years old
>havent had a job ever
>dont want to apply for one
im totally fugged :DDDDD
