You're walking with your girlfriend when this guy teleports behind you.
"Nice girl, I'll take her." He laughs.
What do you do?
>>29225855
Reveal to him that my gf is a hologram
>>29225855
nothing, that's his girl now.
>>29225855
Run away in absolute fear, move to a new country, change my identity, and never go outside again.
Have a teleporting war of course. That filthy INTJ can't beat me.
I don't need to do anything because my girlfriend starts screaming and hitting him with her purse and the whole things ends with him pussying out and teleporting away like the eternal beta male that he is.
>>29225855
fucking quality thread op
kek
*nothing personal kid*
>>29225855
If he fucking teleported, I'd personally put her hand on his hand. That's some crazy shit. I'll be his cuck, for god sake's
*mutters to gf without turning away*
"you have to run... i'll take care of him"
*begins powering up*
>"ooOOAAEEERRREEEEEEEEEE"
Throw some dorritos and mountain dew as distraction.
>>29225855
*teleports behind him while unsheathing my hk416 to point it at the back of his skull*
"Heh, not a chance buddy..."
>>29225855
Break his autistic plastic sword.
Ask him if he realy hid behind the dumpster 5 hours just for this.
Bury him in sand in the playground.
Piss on his head.
Go home.
Take her will you? Well you'll have to pry her from my dead hands you scoundrel! Stand back Clarissa!
*removes weight training clothing*
heh light as a feather
TRI-HEADED MOUNTAIN LION DEMON SLASH
Your defenses were too vulnerable.
Heh...the only thing you'll take is my blade, fool!!!
Now....HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! SHADOW MIMIC ATTACK!!!!!
*suddenly copies of myself appear out of nowhere*
*he is confused and tries to slice my copies but they just disappear*
Heh....what's the matter...fooled by such a simple trick....? Try looking...BEHIND YOU!!!!
*suddenly charge him from behind and impale him*
*tear my sword out and cut his head off in one strike*
Pfft...pathetic...come on baby, let's get outta here...
>>29225975
*that was my decoy, I'm really stood on the roof of a building nearby, watching your moves*
"Heh, what is this, amateur hour?"
*unseaths darkened blade of the night, summoning my own demon spirit as I zipline down to meet you*
"Let's put an end to this charade"
*unsheathes dick*
back the fuck off!!?
*starts to do ninjutsu signs*
RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU
*slices you in half*
Heh....nothing personnel, kid.
>>29226012
*stands in the shadow, watching you fight my hologram*
"Heh, not bad... for a beginner"
*jumps out and pulls out dual-katanas infused with demons blood*
*raises my hand, darkened coils wrapping around your gf's legs as I run at you*
"IT'S TIME TO END THIS. HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
>>29225855
Can't take what isn't there!
>>29225938
My fuckig sides
Underrated post
Well this thread went from 0 to autistic in under 3 seconds.
>>29225855
Faggots sword is gonna be a cheap replica. That means higher iron content, that means heavier blade. So he's hold a long heavy blade, and he clearyl has no muscle, so there's no way he can move that blade quickly
>Close the gap
>Take the sword from him
>Snap shitty thin blade in two by striking it backwards on the ground
>knee faggot in the groin
>turn 360 degree and walk away
>leap slam behind him
>grab his buttcheeks firmly
>whisper in his ear
>'I hope you like feminine penises as much as me'
Not sure what's more autistic, this: >>29226105
or this: >>29226001
>>29226036
>"Heh, what is this, amateur hour?"
>>29225855
"You can have her, if I can have that badass sword in exchange!"
Shoot him in the face. Blame a nigger. Go home and play battle tetras.
>>29226129
Definitely >>29226105 because he was actually serious. Everyone else is just taking the piss.
>>29226001
>*removes weight training clothing*
>heh light as a feather
sides obliterated
>>29226129
I'm >>29226105 just being factual. Those swords are made with high iron content. And those fucking gay ass katana blades are already easy to snap in half because they're so thin.
Like, it really would be easy to just do that and ruin his gay little toy. But I'd have to knee him in the balls because once the swords snapped in half, he could actually use it.
>>29226176
>taking the piss
britfag detected
I'm just trying to ruin a fedora lord's day here.
>>29226199
Still autistic famalam.Not British, I just like the phrase.
>>29226036
*drops my gun and summons my holy angelic blade while smirking*
"Hmph, Indeed."
"Hyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa!"
*throws a swing with the force of a thousand tigers*
>>29226217
>Using a british phrase when not british
>calling other people autistic.
kek
>>29225855
>Tell him: "That's for her to decide".
>gf chooses me
>his teeth bared, tears of anger streaming down his cheeks, he mutters under his breath "very well, m'lady"
>backs off, sheathes katana
>looks at me
>"well played, asshole"
>teleports away to his masturbation station
>>29226235
>using a turkish word when not turkish
Pretty autistic tbqh
If he wants my maiden he'll need to pay the iron price.
>>29226260
False dichotomy, senpai.
Kek is a phrase used around this specific demographic. Taking the piss, however, is not something people say around here in general.
>>29226309
Kek is a turkish word for cake.
>Taking the piss, however, is not something people say around here in general.
Obviously you've never seen the brit threads.The most autistic part of this is that you care that someone who isn't british said that on a tibetan amphibian analysis imageboard.
>>29226012
>his mum is taking the picture for him
Jesus christ, my sides.
>>29225896
how old is the hijack meme?
>>29226199
>I'm just trying to ruin a fedora lord's day here.
Fedora lord OP was being ironic.
You weren't. You took his shitposting to heart.
>>29226309 this is what we call topkek in turkey
>>29225855
>"Heh...another weakling to finish..."
>I teleport behind him and tap him on the shoulder
>"Over here, tough guy...."
>"what the fuck!?" he shouts as he turns around
>I'm not there
>My voice echo's from all directions
>"Your training has gotten sloppy heh heh...."
>Suddenly his face takes a blank expression
>He starts to slide in 2 from a perfect cut
>"Pssh...nothin personell.."
>>29226410
You know, an actual sign of autism is not realizing I wasn't referring to OP himself, but instead a nebulous concept of a fedora lord.
Like, that is literally indicative of autism. Actual real autism, on the spectrum, not just internet autism dude.
>>29226344
Cares a strong word
>>29226432
4chan's use of kek comes from world of warcraft, actually. Though I've never played it, because I think Blizzards games are just pavlov boxes to hook players.
>>29226036
>I zipline down to meet you
>>29226452
If you didn't care, you wouldn't be sperging out, you sperg.
>>29226466
I'm chill anon. It doesn't take a lot of effort to write some replies.
>>29225855
"Heh, didn't know another human could see my tulpa"
*Stops walking*
"No... you're no ordinary human huh?"
*turns around and leaps 15 feet back throwing my kunai*
*lands, looking at the ground smirking, my fedora concealing my eyes*
"Heh, you sure do bleed like a human"
>>29226040
>gif related originally
Unsheathe my long ancient tachi that was conveniently on me the whole time and challenge him to a one on one duel.
>>29225855
>>29225938
>>29225975
>>29226001
>>29226012
>>29226036
>>29226062
>>29226220
>>29226446
>>29226488
Who needs a gf or friend or a saturday night when I have you r9k?
>>29226584
*on a saturday night
You guys should finish your 'battles' there are so many keks to be had!
>>29225924
better to die
>>29225855
First girlfriend, know that I'll never get another, say He-
Watch his wrist snap when he tries to swing it with one hand
Realise I dont even have a girlfriendRealise i hallucinated the entire thing, and i'm just at home alone-yy d-dontCock the revolver
>>29225855
Wait for the inevitable running R1 and parry your ass
>>29225855
teleport behind him
unsheathe my own katana
duel him to the death
>heh, ive been waiting to test out my newest keikaku
>*start to hold my breath as my fingers become claws*
>*turn blue from oxygen deprivation*
>I AM SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, I HAVE NO MASTER EXCEPT THE WIND THAT BLOWS FREE
>*runs at you too fast for the human eye to see and slices you in half with my claws*
>*takes a deep breath* youre too slow
>>29227910
Not
> youre too slow ... kid
