Who /losing it/ here?Originalfaggots
>>29212898
slowly but surely
two more months at this place ima be on the news if i dont get out
>mfw
>>29213765
Thisis the natural course of things
I am so far beyond the point of return. I've never been happier either. I just don't care anymore. Specifically what people think. I also enjoy the unspoken fear my erratic creepy nature inspires in people.
>these threads
crawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwlinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn innnnnnnnnnnnnn mmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I'm starting to think I actually may have a chance. pls send help
>only have 1 friend
>spent the last two years partying and doing hard drugs together
>after the new year friend tells me they're quitting and if j don't quit too we can't be friends anymore
>gave up the only happiness I've ever felt to save the only friendship I've ever had
>life seems dull, grey and monotonous
>slowly but surely being driven insane by total boredom of day to day life
I think I might have made the wrong choice
>>29213884
>oh poor me im so bored i could die
Boo fucking hoo
>>29212898
Damn, I am really feeling it sometimes:
>most of the time goes by relatively normal
>until something triggers me, it can be anything, just something stupid that upsets me
>always feel like something burning is running down my throat and completely trip out after that
>not too long ago
>my dad gets drunk as fuck and goes on a rant about me being a retarded fuckup
>says something about him rather having a dog
>it is alright so far
>mom interjects and says he goes too far, he says he does not give a shit, I might just kill myself at this point
>go into room, sit down at my table for half an hour, trying to distract myself with a book
>fail at first sentence, still can not remember what it said despite having read it 20 times
>stare into the wall
>decide I will go to sleep
>can not sleep, because I get the idea that my dad is going to stab me
>sneak to kitchen, get knife
>hide it next to bed, lock up door in my room
>still can not sleep, sit on my bed and ponder existence in the dark
>decide to make a diary entry
>writte some absolutely idiotic shit about me obviously being a shitty subhuman, because my parents are aswell, what would one expect, etc.
>scratch all of it and tear the page apart, terrified that someone could find it
>finally fall asleep at 4a.m. or so, alarm clock set to 6, because I want to have breakfast alone before everybody else and fuck off as quickly as possible
Every time that happens I am getting a little closer to completely snapping.
What is this life even, to think some people go all of their life without this bullshit.
>>29212898
I have schizoaffective disorder. It has only been 3 months since I was diagnosed in the psych ward, and I can already feel myself getting worse. I have now noticed that all my emotions are backwards. It's like things that should upset me make me laugh and things that should make me happy make me upset. Very strange. I have also started to contort my facial muscles into Bizzare expressions. I also think I have experienced emotional states that are outside the normal spectrum of human emotion.
>run around my place dodging imaginary explosions and gunfire
>ordered a bunch of stuff off Amazon recently so I got to dive headfirst into a stack of cardboard boxes and bubble wrap whilst pretending I was avoiding a massive explosion in a huge action sequence
>been getting back into Family Guy recently and I scream like a goat whenever I get a reference to something happening IRL... it's pretty convincing too because I recorded it and played it alongside a real goat
>been watching a lot of cockatoo videos recently and I occasionally mimic the noises and movements they do when they get mad, for example: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5UUjJysUMTw @ 1:25
>bought a new circular saw
>walk around with it in one hand a drill in the other, timing the noises to my movements... it's not like it's canonically inaccurate either seeing as the T-X in T3 has loads of weird tools hidden inside it, plus the saw really helps cement the image that I'm a ruthless killer robot
>standing at my fridge to get a cold drink when someone notices me
>we lock eyes and I put the drink down and pose like pic related
>hear a bunch of pissheads outside walking by
>run into the kitchen and part the blinds slightly at the bottom so they can't see me and I start making daffy duck/shrieking cat noises through the window
>go out at like 4am to collect bugs tp feed my plants/spider
>I like to quote General Grievous from Star Wars like when he says 'you fool! I've been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku' but I switch the words to make it more appropriate so I say 'you fool! I've been trained in insect-capturing arts by Steve Irwin' (rip ;_;)
>drunk couple literally walks by and laughs as they hear this, but whatever, it was a good night
>recently noticed a huge group of middle-aged women walking by with clipboards and going into a property
>want to find out wtf is going on
cont
>>29212898
I've already lost it! BOO! AHAHAAHA!!!
>>29214810
>go out at night on a bugrun and remember those creepy women
>decide to snoop around their property
>look through the windows
>lava lamps, mood lighting, and spoopy trinkets everywhere inside
>over the door it has 'the psychic company' over it with a contact number
>it's one of those places wear you have to go down some steps to reach the door, so it's obscured from the street, which is why I've never noticed it before
>chuckle to myself and start wiggling my fingers above my head while moving my arms and going 'ooooOooooOoooh, soooo spoopy'
>realize one of the spoopy psychic ladies is now watching me from one of the windows
>duck behind some bins and basically crab-walk out of there so the witches don't see me
>end up taking a huge detour that lasts for several hours to ensure the witches aren't still on guard
>found some new bug hunting sites
>tfw probably cursed
My autism has spread like fungal mycelium beyond the walls of my home, saturating the very ground I tread upon, soon to consume everything.
