How do I deal with the fact the my oneitis is a rape victim? ;(
dump her
original
>>29212503
Don't give a rats arse about it, problem solved.
Do a better job of it than the last guy, then dispose of the evidence.
>dated a girl who was raped repeatedly by her father when she was a teenager
>tfw she was great in so many ways but the baggage she had from the raping made a relationship impossible
It's a lot to deal with, you're better off not even trying to ever date her
>>29212503
*rape survivor you shitlord
>>29212560
What do you mean by baggage. please explain
>>29212503
By raping her again
>>29212523
this. you need to grow up a little OP
>>29212503
she's probably lying
women get together and talk about times they were "raped" as a form of social acceptance.
>>29212626
Wat that was Tessa fowler
>>29212576
She was 24 at the time so it had been awhile since it happened but 1 or 2 days a week she would just be a completely depressed husk of a person. Or it would make her feel suicidal, the memories seemed to alternate between making her depressed or suicidal. She was still seeing a therapist about it but I don't know how much that helped. There were also certain phrases/nicknames I had to be careful not to use around her because apparently her dad would say them while raping her. I never used any of the terms she asked me not to use but it was still stressful to always have that in the back of your mind.
On her good days she was great to be around. Fun, smart, similar hobbies and interests. But the bad days were just too exhausting and stressful. If it was maybe once a month I could deal with it, but once or twice a week (and occasionally she would slip into a funk for a whole week) was just too much for me to handle.
Any roastie who claims to be raped is trying to cuck you, op.
Also, rape is a meme now. Abusing alcohol and having sex while drunk and regretting it is now rape. What a joke.
>>29212701
Back in the day rape was seen as very immoral and as immoral as murder because the victims were assumed to be in possession of some degree of purity, loyalty to a husband, innocence of a young girl, holiness of a mother. Rape was an act of sullying a person as much as a physical act. At least in the eyes of people.
Now rape is just forcing a whore to have sex with you.
can I get a females opinion?
hate this
nm,mjh on in under
By getting a new oneitis that isn't damaged goods
>>29212886
you should give her more space
>>29212886
Can i get a male pretending to be a females opinion**
>>29212821
>Now rape is just forcing a whore to have sex with you.
Yes. Rape is when an average or ugly man treats a woman the same way Chad Thundercock would.
My ex was a rape victim. What do you mean by, "deal" op? You're either with the girl or not. If it makes the relationship difficult you either tough it out or ditch.
>>29213158
What do you mean? Why?
jhjhjh origami pls
>>29213242
She doesnt know that I know. And I said oneitis, not gf. It just really hurt to learn that that happened to her, thats what I meant by "deal"
>>29213246
you should be supportive, but not pushy, you should be there for her, and if she gives you the right signals you should make a move
How do any of you expect to get a girlfriend that deals with your shit when you're too dickless to deal with her shit? A relationship is a two way street. You listen to her when she needs an ear, you comfort her when she needs a shoulder. Everything isnt sunshine and rainbows once you finally get a girlfriend. However, if it really is too much to deal with or you feel she isn't reciprocating and attending to your needs, talk to her about that. If there is no compromise, you move on.
>>29213277
Bleh if she's your oneitis you've already missed the window of being her boyfriend. If you aren't interested in just being her friend then no matter what you do you're gonna get hurt from a situation of your own creation.
>>29213308
Thanks
:))
robutt original
>>29213386
Yea, youre right. How do I stop thinking about her though? Its been harder ever since I was informed that she was raped. She was a really good friend to me
>>29213388
np you're welcome
>>29213409
Quit being a beta and just ask her. Jesus. You need the closure that only an unambiguous rejection can give.
And just stop altogether with your twisted mentality that women are somehow better than you. Treat them like the lowly class of idiots they are. Or get on hrt because maybe you're so much a sissy faggot that you're incapable of being a man.
>>29213540
I have asked her, and she said she doesnt like me but still wants to be friends. I cant seem to stop thinking about it though, its been many months
>>29212695
She is damaged goods, stay away.
>>29212560
rape and child molestation are COMPLETELY different things.
ive dated both. rape survivor had zero baggage. if anything, it made her a tougher individual. childhood molestation girl was completely mentally ruined. un-dateable.
but don't take my word for it, just do some basic resesrch.
there are only two people in the world with legitimate problems- those with terminal illnesses and victims of childhood molestation.
>>29213622
Thanks for the response
ori gin al originerio
>>29213574
Why do you think about it so much? Is it jarring because there has been little tragedy in your life? Just be a good friend and let her know that if she needs someone to talk to that you are there. Don't actually say that though, and don't bring up her rape ever unless she initiated the conversation.
>>29212503
I had a "rape victim" oneitis once (she was fucking her older brother since she was like 12) and in retrospect it was the stupidest and most toxic relationship ever.
I wish I had /r9k/ at the time to know that was a mega red flag, but I was clueless.
Now that you know, you should have zero reason to pursue that shit.
>>29213334
Joke's on you, I don't have any "shit" because i have no personality and my life has been a barren waste
>>29213684
I think Ill take your advice. I dont know why I cant stop thinking about it, I tend to ruminate a lot and the thoughts usually occur when Im in bed. Its true that theres been little tragedy in my life but I dont think thats the reason its jarring
>>29213748
Ooooh god I wish I had an older brother to fuck
>>29213748
again, that's not rape.
>>29213788
I wish you the best of luck m8.
Try finding things to get it off your mind too. Read something or lift. You can't change the past but you can change the future. Strive to be a good person and you don't have to worry about regret
>>29213409
But why are you acting like her experience affects you in any way? It's her reason to be depressed, not yours. There's empathy and then there's psychic vampire.
>>29214828
Im not? Thats part of my point -- I dont like constantly thinking about her and what shes doing when shes made it clear she only wants to be friends. Maybe Im actually hoping that she lied b/c we live far from each other? Either way, I dont want to think about her anymore and like I said maybe I cant stop ruminating over this
