its so much easier than acid and whatever just get on a motor boat and put a weight on the body
AND ITS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND
>>29171688
Sometimes it's risky to travel to the ocean with a body in the car.
>>29171688
They do, I think it's more getting caught by coast guards. And you have to have a boat, who the fuck has a boat?
Ala Dexter
>>29171752
most people around where I live have boat licences and coast guards are like something that you have like a 0.1% chance of even seeing around you
let alone bothering you
Why not put them in space? The police never looks there.
How do you know that they don't? Like you said, it's impossible to find them in deep water.
>>29171830
and when parts of the boddy starts breaking off and float to the beach etc.?
There be lots of media and they'll dig into anyone who ever had contact with the person
>>29171688
bodies bloat with gas and float back to shore
you'd have to chop them in to very tiny pieces snd at that point you might as well not even go far into the ocean with a chopped up body since you already chopped it up, you'd be beghing chance to play against you to get caught
I would just bury a body desu. I live out in bum fuck nowhere though so it's easier than if you were in the city.
Why don't people just dispose of bodies a little bit at a time, and crush the bones to powder in some kind of woodworking machine or something
>>29172063
What if you attach rocks?
>>29171688
I live in central urop we barely have ane lakes not a fucking ocean
Also you forget the part where you have to paint the bodies blue before you throw them in the ocean so the satelites won't see the mfrom space
>>29172050
Dude. You put them in a heavy-duty bag and throw some weights in there. Even when their body starts breaking up they'll still be in the bag.
>>29172104
I think that's what Dahmer did. Managed to kill 17 people until he got caught because one of his victims managed to run away. However, he did later on he start to keep skulls and skeletons of his victims
>>29172104
Because bodies fucking stink
>>29171688
Too easy. It's the first place they check.
>>29171747
>travelling the ocean in a car
>>29171688
>okay guys i just got this idea and LITERALLY OMG CANT EVEN
Fuck off Tumblr
>>29172357
Have you tried it?
If your answer is no then you cannot doubt him
>>29172344
well you'd have to cut it up and keep it in a freezer, that's how they always do it. duh
>>29172374
You're right, this might be a great idea
I imagine all this dumb killer getting into a panic attack after they realize thay don't know what to do with a hundred pounds of dead flesh, organs and hair.
>>29171688
YAMANASHI
>>29172381
Then your freezer has dna in it.
Why don't murderers just drop the body's into lava?
>>29172428
so keep it in a bag in the freezer.
the idea is to not get caught anyway
>>29172283
>>29172283
but ocean water melts bags, plastic shit and even steel it has different effect than tap water or non-salty waters
All the ways you think you can get away with murder are probably ways you can legitimately get away with murder.
I heard that they always downplay the "Gloves prevent fingerprints" shit in CSI style shows. Because if someone is wearing gloves it's 100 times harder to place them at a crime scene.
Also if you drop your weapon at the scene and it has no prints on it there's pretty much no way for them to link the weapon to you.
The people trying to find you are just human after all. If you can get around their methods you're untracable. Most serial killers only get caught because they start to feel invincible and take fewer precautions.
There was a serial killer in London about 20 years ago who targeted gay men. He'd go back to their flats and strangle them to death. He killed about 4 people and had to actually phone the Police to tell them he was a serial killer. He still only got caught because he took off his gloves in one of his murders. If it wasn't for the fact that he phoned the Police he'd have never been found.
>>29172461
plastic bags do not melt in the ocean, that's why they're a problem for turtles
plus by the time a sports bag for example decays, the body should be not floaty any more.
I absolutely believe that the surface of the challenger deep is littered with the corpses of child prostitutes and possibly other people Hollywood, middle eastern Royalty, the US government, etc. needed to go 'missing'
>>29172454
because there is no lava around. You fucking idiot.
>>29172480
Make some lava then, fucking idiot
>>29172472
>pretty much no way for them to link the weapon to you.
serial number?
>>29172480
there's lava right below you
>not owning a pet alligator
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/huge-alligator-with-dead-human-body-in-its-jaws-found-roaming-around-florida-old-peoples-home-a7070306.html
>>29172323
Dahmer hid his first body by smashing up all of the bones and then scattering them in the woods near his childhood home.
This was years before he started killing frequently and they only discovered it because he confessed.
If you seriously leave no links to another person and dump the remains somewhere impossibel to find you can get away with murder.
>>29172479
Why would they bother going all the way out to the Marianas to dump corpses? Abyssal plains are just fine.
Why don't mass murders dress up as police, kill everyone, then run outside and pretend you're a cop arriving on the scene?
>>29172493
You can't make lava you idiot, i'm not going ot dig through the earth's crust to melt a body idiot. It's psychically impossible idiot
>>29172524
wouId this actualIy work?
>>29172050
even if they found a body part which is unlikely (bodies eventually sink on their own, let alone weighted down anyways) there would be literally no evidence on them anyways. though its still preferable that a body is never found in the first place
still smarter than filling your bathtub full of acid and hoping the chunks make it down
>>29171688
They do.
That's why there's so many police divers but for most it's not that easy.
I live in a seaside town with hundreds of boats and I have two years professional sailing experience and I couldn't get out to sea tonight. Probably not even this week and doubly difficult to do without anyone knowing. Boats are easy to steal ofcourse that's why anyone with any sense keeps them out of the water or lives in the faith anyone who'd want to couldn't get sail it anyway.
>>29172535
Just make a big, magma proof drill you dipshit
>>29172323
No Dahmer dissolved them in vats of hydrochloric acid, the madman.
>>29172497
I was thinking more along the lines of knives or blunt weapons. I don't know about guns because I'm not american.
Also plan it out months in advance. if you're seen buying a hammer and a lot of fucking tarp the week before you do it you're going to get caught.
>>29172524
Why not just become a cop and kill people legally?
Fugging craka
>>29172524
because that's fucking stupid
Eat the meat, use the fat for cooking or waterproofing, use the bones for fertiliser or gelatin.
Explain to me why this wouldn't work.
>>29171688Because they don't have the combination for Davy Jones's locker!
>>29172575
it would but no one is as much of a twisted fucking cycle path as you, so it doesnt happen
>>29172575
By the time you completely eat a dead body, the investigation has probably led to your door
there's 90,000 missing people in the states at any given time. I guarantee a good percentage of those are at the bottom of some body of water right now
>>29172589
That's a total meme response, eating a human is way less morally fucked up than murdering them. It's dead, lifeless meat. You're ensuring their matter is put to good use, to nourish you and the life around you (family, crops etc.). The act of cannibalism is far less morally dubious than the actual act of killing.
>>29172596
Some people go years without being caught, so not necessarily.
>>29172535
>I'm not going ot dig through the earth's crust to melt a body idiot.
Then I guess you're not getting away with murder. Say hi to the cops for me, dumbfuck.
>>29172539
Not likely, police don't tend to work alone and the blood on the uniform as well as you coming out of the scene rather than towards it would be a dead give away.
A better plan would be to shoot yourself in the arm or something, hook the gun up to some kind of mechanism and then flee the building acting as though you are in a panic, meanwhile the gun should continue to fire and so long as you are able to slip out in all the commotion you will be long gone by the time the police enter the building.
>>29172634
>The act of cannibalism is far less morally dubious than the actual act of killing.
that's why everyone does it all the time and it's not psychologically disturbing to even murderers, right?
>>29172649
police don't let witnesses just get away. they'll keep you handy until they've discovered what happened
>>29172667
Most people get squeamish about eating insects. People are weird. You shouldn't base your opinions off of what normalfags think.
>>29172649
I was kidding
>>29172634
morality and actual willingness to do thing are very different. don't confuse them
>>29172649
That could actually work, though you'd still get caught eventually. Cameras are a bitch and the FBI goes apeshit when it comes to hunting mass murderers, just look at the boston bombing, they practically shut down the entire fucking city
>>29172649
Or you just silently kill someone, dispose of body and be sneaky about it? Geez, you americans sure are retarded.
>>29172524
>Start killing people
>Police are called immediately
>After only shooting 2 people you realise you need to get your disguise because the cops will be here soon.
>Run to where your uniform is stored
>You can hear sirens
>Get changed really quickly
>Right as you're pulling up your pants the cops arrive
>They see this retard falling on his ass putting on pants from a Police Officer dress up uniform he bought on Amazon
>He's not from their precinct, his weapon is not standard issue, and you know for a fact that you're the first officers on the scene.
>He also matches the description of the suspect as given to you by the dozen screaming people who are now safely behind the two dozen armed police officers
I don't think they'd be convinced m8
>>29172104
they do
you just don't know that because it works.
they do it in the sopranos all of the time.
>>29172575
There was a short story about a woman killing her husband and plotting to eat him over time to get rid of the body. She ends up basically being unable to eat the whole thing.
I'm having trouble finding it again. I think it was called "Inconceivable"
>>29172472
>There was a serial killer in London about 20 years ago who targeted gay men.
Gotta read the social climate on that one, one of the reasons he was able to get away with it for so long was because nobody wanted to fess up to being gay, and nobody was going to tell anyone that they were going over to someone's house in case they were asked why or say that they were going cruising or anything. So at the time they were low risk victims because they didn't tell friends or family what they were up to. Had they told people/not had to be so secretive, he would likely have been caught earlier/without confessing. (thats if youre talking about the case im thinking of)
>>29172688
Why does willingness matter in this thread? Everything posted here is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood, remember.
>>29172709
I can't imagine anything more humiliating than being murdered by a woman.
>>29172756
Being pegged by her in front of your already disappointed dad?
>>29172704
>Fire into large crowd wearing mask
>Get enough kills to be satisfied
>Practice for weeks on how to put your clothes on quickly
>Quickly shave your head
>Put on make up
>Arrest diverted
>join army
>get deployed to active combat zone
>get to murder people daily
>army pays for your gear AND you
why don't more people do this?
>>29171688
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=u3qy4Zv4snI
Love this movie (snatch)
>>29172772
My dad isn't disappointed in me, I'm disappointed in my dad.
After you kill someone, why not just move the body into the road and park your car behind it? Then call 911 and say it was an accident.
>>29172756
>Why does willingness matter in this thread?
you'd throw up and turn yourself in before hypothetically finishing the act
>>29172634
Its not really about morality (not on a conscious level, anyway). People are just grossed out/squeamish about cannibalism
>>29172784
Because if your main goal in the army is to murder as many people as possible you probably wont get past the psychological evaluation
>>29172737
The people he killed were all openly gay, however the police did dismiss the deaths as being accidental, like bondage gone wrong or something.
They didn't even see them as murders until he told them about it. Pretty stupid too since he set fire to the home of one of his victims as he left.
>>29172649
>>29172524
There's actually a serial killer in ciudad juarez who's got away with around 200+ murders by now and investigators suspect he's either a cop or has experience in the law enforcement
>>29172784
>get to murder people daily
Not true.
>patrol tens of miles daily in scorching heat carrying tonnes of gears
>occasionally take fire from uppity sandnigs
>fire shots back and call in an airstrike if you can
>any deaths are either from the pilots, or were shot at such a long distance you won't know if it was you who did the killing
>>29172808
Because they're silly.
>>29172784
>why don't more people do this?
Because you just sit around in a desert for weeks at a time
>>29172796
Then you get charged with manslaughter
>>29172816
Wouldn't psychopaths have the easiest time getting through the tests? they can pretend the best and its not like the tests are THAT rigorous. people make it sound like they hook you up to a machine that knows right away everything wrong with you, but most people lie their way through evaluations
>>29172773
>Get seen wearing a mask and acting shifty
>Police get called right away
>Crowd completely disperses from the area
>When the police arrive there is a man furiously tearing his head to shreds with a razor and slapping himself in the face with makeup
>>29172840
>Because they're silly.
>still expecting things to make sense and for people to act like Perfect Economists
>"my worldview is right, the world is just wrong"
lol
>>29172796
Forensics makes finding out someones cause of death a piece of piss
>>29172524
thats kind of what breivik did. he dressed as a police officer and started unloading on them. if the kids were freaking out and didnt know where the shots were coming from, they were obviously going to run towards the police officer "protecting" them.
>>29172784
It's impossible to guarantee you'll ever see combat, especially after like 2011. Even most infantry don't see fighting.
>>29172816
Lol no psych eval
>>29172852
>Because you just sit around in a desert for weeks at a time
if you're a dumb grunt. just become a pro operator and they'll make use of you as often as they can
>>29172357
>>29172390
>He cant drive an SUV across the ocean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsElecnlbR4
>>29172875
>being this upset that you're squeamish
relax
>>29172784
If you really wanted to do this, then join the airforce and pilot a drone. By the end of your active duty, you'll have most likely racked above 1000 kills
>>29171688
Why not move to Florida, invite someone over, shoot him and tell the cops he got violent and you were in fear of your life? Legal murder
>>29172897
yes. you could.
>>29172697
Oh you would absolutely be seen leaving the building and when nobody could find you after the fact they would immediately assume you are the prime suspect and send out an apb but it offers you a better chance at escape than an attempted last stand would.
>Commit mass murder
>Shoot cameras
>Find individual
>Shoot in the head
>swap clothes
>put mask on them
>shoot yourself in the arm
>put gun in their hand
>run away
Bam, avoided getting caught for mass murder
>>29172840
>Because they're silly.
Be that as it may, it doesn't negate the fact that it is true for most people (and probably most murderers). The reason/legitimacy for the reason isn't really the question here, just whether it would work - and for most people it wouldnt
>>29172826
We might be thinking of different ones, I remember reading about one where it had all been clandestine meetings where both participants were closeted (i think). Now that ive thought about it, i dont think the one im thinking of was in London either, just when I read your post it reminded me of it and i figured i was misremembering locations
>>29172512
>http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/huge-alligator-with-dead-human-body-in-its-jaws-found-roaming-around-florida-old-peoples-home-a7070306.html
>Not just using the more commonly available Pig.
>>29173077
gators are more common in florida anyways
I want to successfully commit mass murder, then go into hiding until I break the record for longest time a mass murderer hasn't been found
Then once I break it, I come to the police and declare myself Hide and Seek World Champion
>>29172911
Why do you think Florida is special in that way? Most states already recognize stand your ground doctrine, even if they haven't codified it.
>>29172323
i heard he would pour acid i the victims brains to put them in vegetable state
>>29173077
you have to starve pigs for weeks before they will eat a human all in one go
In all honestly, how easy is it to get away with murder in the US if you're incredibly careful and have a good plan?
>>29173250
pretty easy if you didn't know the victim.
>>29173223
Because I've done it
>>29173250
Speaking from experience, I can personally tell you it's not that hard, from my experiences, subjectively speaking.
>>29173250
Most murders have some clear motivation, so if you kill people totally unrelated to you, you're halfway in the clear. Just leave nothng behind and make sure no witnesses notice you and you're pretty ok I guess
>>29172497
Nobody commits murder with a legal gun. How stupid are you?
>>29173339
IIRC some kid who tried killing random people in random states STILL got caught.
>>29172870
>>29172773
>>29172704
if any disguise would work just keep really shitty t shirts and blankets on hand and pretend to be a bum sleeping on some alleyway
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i17bKwWgGZs
>>29173339
But why wouldn't you kill someone you know? If i were to kill it would be for personal gain. There is Nothing in it for me if i kill a random person.
>>29173144
>>29173242
If you planning on killing someone that far in advance why not time it accordingly.
>>29173295
PLEASE PROVIDE PROOOFSSS!!!
>>29173389
time it to what? random gator attack?
>>29172472
>being such an uncool serial killer that nobody even knows you exist
>>29173363
The guy assumed extreme precaution. If you're into serial killing and you are regularly doing lots of murdertravelling, at some point someone will notice you, or will slip up and you'll get caught.
>>29173387
The original poster didn't mention any specific condition for murder, I just exposed the optimal scenario for not being caught
Wouldn't crime scene investigators and murder detectives make for the best murderers?
They know exactly how to make sure they won't be caught and leave any evidence behind
>>29173286
Now answer the question I actually asked.
>>29173424
Random boating accident?
>>29173417
one six oh three
>>29173424
>>29173389
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXn1g0xtUMk
You think this gator got this big by eating small fishes? I don't think so
Why don't they just hide the bodies in the fourth dimension? Fucking morons.
>>29173471
Jesus fucking christ that thing is borderline dinosaur tier
>>29173492
>implying the government doesn't already have cross-dimensional investigators
>>29171886
>tfw you buy a rocket propelled body dumping system to shoot your victims corpses into space and it only gets halfway before crashing back down onto the earth
>tfw after the fall it's impossible to put the body back in the machine because of how broken and mangled it is
Fucking Acme.
>>29171688
There are a lot of reasons.
First, that involves transporting a body to a boat. Bodies are pretty large objects and cannot be easily moved covertly. You would have to buy a very large cooler as part of the process and fit the body in it.
Next, marinas where you would keep a sea worthy boat are jam packed with people. Some people actually live on their boats as well, so a lot of witnesses are likely to see you during the day. And if you do it during the night, odds are they will hear it and if anyone sees you transporting a body sized cooler to your boat in the middle of the night, that would be problematic.
Third, you need to own a boat. If you rent one that leaves a paper trail and would be suspicious evidence. Most people do not own seaworthy boats.
Fourth, storage. You need to weigh it down and that requires securing a heavy object to it. You also need to factor in that marine life can mess with the bags and parts can break off and wash ashore. You could dump the cooler as well and weigh that down, while wrapping something around it to keep it closed, but again, it is not foolproof.
Finally, investigative scrutiny. Once a homicide is suspected all evidence will be collected. That evidence may include many things that can be used to name you as at least a suspect. Most people murder people who they are connected to and murders of complete strangers are exceedingly rare. If police canvas and hear that you went on a boating expedition shortly after the death-- that would be very bad evidence and encourage further investigation.
There are no perfect murders and forensics are pretty solid. If you murder a complete stranger, the body can usually be left at the scene because there is no connection for detectives to follow. If you murder someone close, you can expect examination.
>>29173011
That... That could actually work. Good plan
>>29171688
well you need a boat to do that and the bodies eventually float back up due to gasses..it's actually much easier to dig a hole some where or in your back yard and put the body in it. the body will decompose after sometime and you can dig the bones back out and put in em in a grill to turn to ashe
>Have completely planned out a murder for someone I hate immensely though has little connection to me
>Feel like it's fool proof enough
>Too scared to actually go through with it
Anyone else?
why not just bury it somewhere deep in the woods? what is the actual reasoning against doing such a thing? is it really just hurr durr hunters n shiet
>>29173654
It's really, really hard to not leave a trail when walking through the forest. But for the most part, you'd probably be fine. I'm sure there are more bodies out in the woods then people like to think
>>29173654
Wild animals might dig it up. Then there's a body of mysterious origin. Now if you didn't kill a rando you're a suspect or at least a person of interest. I don't know how long semen lasts so they might end up with your dna.
>>29173239
Yep, a truly fucked up individual. At least he showed remorse at the end
>>29173552
>not transporting multiple regular coolers filled with bits of a person
>not telling people anybody that asks why so many coolers that you intend to be out at sea for as long as possible
Pretty simple lad.
>>29172893
That's about the most Slavic thing I've seen all week.
![Nevada_Desert[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/H0qpK02.jpg "Nevada_Desert[1].jpg")
>not burying your bodies in the middle of a desert
Fucking plebs. Attach a contraption to the back of your car that smooths out tire tracks you leave behind and you're set. A body under six feet of sand in the middle of nowhere cannot float to the surface and appear on a beach and lead the police right to your door.This is all hypothetical FBI pls no bully.
>>29171688
>not getting piranhas to do it
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=00f_1420921314
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycHuYQZph3s
ez pz
>>29172535
>You can't make lava you idiot
Then go to your nearest hardware store and buy some like a normal fucking human being.
>>29173761
>Desert
>Hiding a body somewhere so arid
Don't worry the FBI have no interest in you whatsoever.
>>29173761
Could I actually be v& for posting hypothetical murder scenarios on the internet?
>>29172773
Real life isn't like Assassin's Creed, you fucking autist. Thanks for the laugh though.
>>29173819
Yeah, hiding a body in a place where it will remain stationary with an almost certain chance that no one will ever stumble upon it in your lifetime is such a stupid idea!
>>29173826
No, there have been people that have straight up posted corpses of people they've allegedly killed on 4chan and nothing has come of it.
Really unless you're actively looking for shit like terrorist chatrooms then you have nothing to worry about.
>>29173946
it will not decompose quickly at all + if it ever gets uncovered as by an animal or flood, vultures will fly in pillar formation, making it visible for miles
>>29172050
the body will be beat to shit and deteriorated, there's no way it'll have evidence on it. If the killer denies it then there's nothing they can do.
>>29173983
>double-wrap it in two body bags
>bury it ten feet underground
What's the problem, man?
>>29172535
>It's psychically impossible idiot
Yeah, but you could use physics and chemistry and a shovel instead.
>>29174010
burying it ten feet underground in the desert without leaving a trace would be the problem
the car contraption idea is also not going to work
>>29174019
Do you honestly thing anon is smart enough to handle a shovel?
>Get incredibly strong
>git gud at hiking
>Kill hiker
>Make sure there are no outer wounds
>Read as much as I can about his life
>Mimic his voice
>Call family and tell them he's about to climb mount everest
>Put body in big backpack, tell people it's your climbing shit
>Climb everest through some back passage that climbers aren't allowed to follow
>Get to the point where bodies freeze
>Place body in ground
>Run away
Give me 1 (ONE) reason why this would not work
Cant you just boil the body? Pretty sure that makes flesh fall off
>>29171688
Because they float back up you tard ass
>>29174063
>why does this guy's hiking backpack smell like a dead guy?
>>29172893
are slavs even human
Because the nearest ocean is a thousand miles away you bumblefuck
>>29174063
You don't have money to pay an Everest climbing license. It's $25k and they're gonna sell you guiding as well; if you wanna go by yourself there's still gonna sell you guiding but it will be more expensive. Those two things alone cost from $35k to $100k, and you yet have to cover for a lot of other expenses. You're a neckbeard in mommy's basement, you don't have that kind of dosh.
>>29174029
>the car contraption idea is also not going to work
Why not? You attach a duster-like arm to your tailgate and it smooths out the depressions in the sand right after you make them. Why wouldn't that work? Plus, sandstorms would clear any leftover tracks naturally without you having to do anything, so you'd get two passes.
>>29174093
>[insert your shithole country here] education
Not really. If it's deep enough the pressure and temperature prevent the production of gas. They won't float.
>>29174155
sandstorms would be the best case, but a contraption like a large broom or mud flap will leave a definite indentation in the sand behind you, like a trail. If you're covering the depression caused by tires, you're going to leave a depression behind. Depending on coarseness of the environment etc`
>go to bumfuck towns where no one locks their doors and shoot people in their beds
>wait into city alleyways at night and shoot people walking by
if you live in the u.s. and don't kill people you know it's (HYPOTHETICALLY OF COURSE) pretty easy
Why not pull a Ted Kaczynski?
>identify a target
>spend a decade getting close to them, slowly rising through their friendship ranks to become their inseparable best friend
>after your bond is cemented, suggest going hiking with them in a secluded area
>once there, push them off a tall cliff and tell investigators they stood too close to the edge trying to take a picture and slipped
>pretend to grieve for the next few months
>no one suspects anything
Tire fire, is the correct answer. Go to secluded area. Bury body under a pile of tires, set fire. The tires go up fast and burn hot enough to melt flesh and all evidence. If fire fighters show up and put out blaze, body is incased in rubber ruining most forensic evidence and making it hard to I identify the body. That's even if they realize a body is in there.
>>29174196
>Get helicopter
>Get someone to fly it
>Fly body out to desert
>Have helicopter drop you off from a safe height, but never touch the ground
>Bury body while helicopter hovers
>Cover everything up
>Climb back on helicopter
>No tracks ever made
What now
>>29174260
hmmm, now you're onto osmething
>>29173682
>I'm sure there are more bodies out in the woods then people like to think
I can confirm. There's some small woods near my house and I've seen two human skeletons in there. This is in some small town suburbs too.
>>29174260
>the whole air force realized
>>29174206
oh another thread reminded me it's really easy to hit cyclists in the u.s. without being prosecuted for anything because no one likes them
>>29171688
i'd figured ages ago when i was a teen that is the way i'd dispose of a body if i ever needed to kill someoen, obviously you'd need your own boat and i live by the sea...
>>29174293
Did you call the police?
Logistics of getting the body from the murder scene to a boat are pretty intense. You have to make sure nobody can see the body while getting it in the car, then putting the body onto the boat without being noticed will be hard too. Ubless you are super rich and have beachfront property with a dock, your boat will be in a marina that could have certain hours to access it and people could be around.
Once you get past all of that, you are pretty clear. Put it in a big enough bag with some weights and your own worries at that point are marine life opening the bag and the body floating to the surface, but the body will be eaten pretty fast, fast enough it won't make it to shore if you dump it far enough in.
Getting the body to the boat would be the hardest part. An easier way would be to melt bodies in an acid then dispose of the waste like in Breaking Bad. Problem there is you would have to make your own acid strong enough to do it, as they are probably pretty tightly monitored and would raisw red flags if some random person bought a bunch of it not associated with a lab/industry/university etc etc...
i have episodic dreams where i killed someone and buried them poorly and i just wonder when people are going to find out. i wish my subconscious had just thought of this simple trick of dropping him into the ocean.
Just cut them up and crush em to fine powder
>>29173239
He was trying to make them into retarded sex slaves.
>>29174260
The helicopter pilot is a liability too. And that loud shit would leave dozens of witnesses
>>29174407
If you don't tell people about your dreams they'll probably never find out.
>>29173239
Actually Dahmer not only used hydrocholoric acid to dissolve the bodies but he would actually eat parts of their brain. He also made shrines out of his victim's skulls as well, I believe he claimed it was like a token/trinket to remember them by.
I've watched Jeffery Dahmer documentary, it gives you a lot of facts about him and his life. At a young age he was fucked up, he would torture animals, and he had an obsession with gay sex and just sex in general. His first victim was some gay dude he picked up at a club after having sex with him, he had sex with lots of people but mostly guys. He was really into men more than women, I'm sure he had sex with women but most of his victims were men. He might have been into children, his last victim was like some Asian boy who was like 13 or something. He managed to escape the house and call the police, that's how Jeffery's spree came to an end.
Who knows what he would have done if he never got caught, I know his neighbors reported of a foul odor coming from his room but it wasn't enough proof to call police on him. I'm sure if he hadn't of gotten caught he would have killed lots of more people, maybe not as many as Ted Bundy but i'm sure he would have kept at it until he either died or got caught.
Very disturbing, I also know you can find prison interviews of reporters talking with him in prison. I haven't watched them but I heard that he shows remorse and regrets what he did, I think he knows that he is fucked up in the head as well.
>>29174576
>hadn't of
>>29171688
>Imma get youse some concrete boots, see?
>>29172830
That's just the shitty Mexi-policia covering their ass for being incompetent.
>Jose we caint figure out who the killer is mane
>He's so smart, he must be one of us
Can you imagine waking up to being tied to a heavy object and getting pushed off a boat?
What a shitty death
>>29174576
>I'm sure he had sex with women but most of his victims were men. He might have been into children, his last victim was like some Asian boy who was like 13 or something. He managed to escape the house and call the police, that's how Jeffery's spree came to an end.
You don't know shit. Dahmer told the police that the asian boy was his boyfriend, and the police escorted the boy back to Dahmer's house. He killed like 5 more people after that. It wasn't until one of Dahmer's intended victims punched him in the face and ran off that Dahmer was caught, like 2 months later.
Retard
>>29173731
Here is how police procedure works.
You are suspected of a crime. Police canvas the area and talk to your neighbors, they look up your account history with all lines of payment to see what you are up to financially, they check records for vehicles registered to you. They find out you have a boat.
They then canvas that area and ask if anyone has seen you in the past few days. Witnesses say "He came to his boat with a bunch of coolers." The police have no body but know there was a homicide and that shortly after it, you went with a bunch of coolers to your boat. They will then investigate what you were doing at the time of the murder and have you reconstruct your day.
If you are not a suspect, the boat method is a bit flashy. It requires you to move the body from the scene of the murder (unless the scene is your own property), Then it requires you to butcher a human body, which is actually pretty difficult work and can induce vomiting and other adverse physical reactions. Then you have to put the body in multiple coolers. Then you have to walk them to your car individually. Then you have to drive with human remains in your vehicle, they smell incredibly powerful, even after a few hours and even using a preservative. Then you have to take multiple trips to your car and back carrying the smelliest coolers in the world. You may argue about theoretical odor-proof materials. They do not really exist and even bagging human remains is difficult. And if you drop a cooler and it opens or if you make any small mistake in transport, you are exposed.
Compare this to dissolving. Conducted entirely in private. Lye is super cheap and can be purchased at any hardware store. Your drain is already available. And if you do Alkaline Hydrolysis, you can have it done in three hours, in a container with minimal smell. You could then pour this into any common isolated storm drain to prevent tracing it to your own drainage system. You could also do the Lye and Bathtub thing.
>>29174735
Also ALL of his victims were men
>>29171688
Decomposing bodies release gas, especially underwater.
They eventually become buoyant and then funs over. Also joints tend to rot faster, leading to pieces detaching and floating away, so the meme cement shoes trick is pretty terrible.
The way to go about it is not only a heavy weight, but to wrap the body in a coarse mesh like chicken wire. This allows scavengers like fish and crabs access, and prevents fragmentation.
Also spooky people shaped mesh cages at the bottom of the ocean.
Could something zodiac killings exist again today, with the letters and everything? Or is technology too advanced to let something like it happen again
DC snipers could have done their thing forever if they didn't want a ransom and had somewhere legit tosleep besides rest stops. Driver and shooter taking a shot from modified car. Only taking one shot, then blending into the chaos of rush hour traffic. If they spaced it out more and didn't try to get all riddler by leaving notes. They also would have been better off with a base of operations rather than truck stops.
>>29174738
That's only if there was any reason to suspect you in the first place.
That happened in a tv show. I forgot what it's called. Dexter's Laboratory or something.
>>29174794
Has Ted Cruz been caught yet?
>Live in some shithole where tornados are common
>Kidnap someone when a tornado is beginning
>Tie them up in a house
>Tornado rips apart the house
>Person get rekd
The perfect crime
The answer isn't to hide evidence, it's to drown it.
>covertly collect hair samples from barbershop.
>Grab glasses people drink from and wash all the saliva into a container.
>Find an object people touch all the time, like a railing, and use it as the murder weapon.
>Lift prints and re-print them onto as many things in the crime scene as you can.
>even better if you can get DNA samples from anyone close to the victim.
>Grab shoes varying in size, shape, weight, brad and design, as well as various weights (dumbells, bowling balls, etc) and make loads of footprints that are all completely different.
>Leave about five manifestoes, all contradicting each other.
>Even better, if you can get ahold of some used tampons, just throw them around the crime scene (or squeeze the blood from them all over the crime scene).
>Actually, better to get some animal blood too, like from a pig or something. Cover the scene in animal blood too, just to fuck with them more.
>Grab a bag for this one. Know those scumbags that never flush after using a public toilet? Yeah, they're gonna be part of the crime scene too.
>Lock an animal and some insects in the crime scene.
>Obligatory smashing teeth and removing fingers to make ID harder - but go a step ahead, and put someone else's teeth at the crime scene.
Why leave no evidence, when you can leave too much evidence for them to log and contaminate the fuck out of the crime scene?
>>29174897
>yeah there was this fat NEET carrying a huge smelly sack of shit like he was Sewer Santa that I saw right before the murder
>>29173011
>Ballistic reports show he shot himself from several meters away in the middle of the face.
>They find your blood from the arm around the victim/fake shooter
>They find your DNA on the shooters clothes (That you had on you first)
>Life in prison with a fucked up arm
10/10.
>>29174576
No his last victim wasn't the child. The child managed to escape somehow from Dahmers apartment. He walked outside naked and high . Someone called the police but dahmer convinced the cops that the kid was 18 and his lover. And that they were also drinking
>>29174897
This sounds more like /mischief/ then anything
Why don't killers just eat their victims and have a dog to eat the victim's bones?
Or is the resulting shit still traceable back to the victim? Like you could fill a rubber glove with it and their fingerprints would re-form or whatever. That's the only reason I could think of for this not being the perfect method
>>29174735
Whatever, it's been years since I saw the documentary, get off my back faggot.
I know more about Dahmer than the average citizen, I doubt people know who he is. I just remember some Asian boy escaping his house, fuck off.
>>29173434
Wa la, and then there was Dexter
>Kill someone
>Put a sign in the dirt where I killed them that says "X is buried here"
>They're forced to dig it up
>It's empty
>Actual body is somewhere deep in the woods
>>29174738
Lye isn't as easy as you make it sound. You need to heat it to over 300 degrees for it to properly work. Your stove ain't gonna cut it you'd need a pressure cooker to reach and maintain that heat which means chopping it up anyway. You could build your own big enough to hold a whole body but it's a thin line between pc and a bomb. They actually make pc of that size for cadaver disposal, but good luck getting your hands on one of those clean.
Acid is better but would take longer. You want to take in account the container you're using. Maybe clogging or damaging your drain. And unless your making your own, a paper trail.
>>29175006
Do you mean eat them while they're alive?
'Cause you still got to kill them, which could leave traces.
Police check your appartment while you snack on an arm, trying to keep yourself from throwing up.
Check your fridge and find the rest of the cadaver.
Life in prison and now known as a cannibal by family and friends.
Only a fatass could eat an entire human being in less than week, and if you're that much of a disgusting fucking glutton then you'd most likely not even be able to attack a relatively skinny victim.
Don't police and higher authoritys have access to the satellite in which they can see replays of what happened the day before anywhere on earth?
>>29174814
True. But if you are killing someone entirely unconnected to you, you usually do not need to hide the body and it does not serve all that much of a purpose. Police work by making connections between the victims and the killer, or between one case and other cases. If you have no connection to the killings, the boat method is actually more risky than just dumping the body as is in a dumpster. This is because of all the prep work required (butchering/transport multiple times, maximum "body is present" uptime).
You never know when a police officer will arbitrarily pull you over and get suspicious. While you can talk about warrants etc, they can just ignore you, search the car, find the body, and then later claim they smelled it and had probable cause. Or they could just smell it. Bodies are really smelly.
The Grim Sleeper raped and murdered 10 women in the course of 22 years. Every time he disposed of the body by just tossing it in a dumpster or alley. He was not caught until 2010 and police suspect that far more than 10 women were killed this way. The only reason he was identified is because he left semen in the bodies and his son was a felon and submitted his DNA. It was linked to his father, the Grim Sleeper.
My thoughts on this are that people overthink things. To quote Office Space "You know what I can't figure out? How can these stupid neanderthal mafia guys be good at crime, and smart guys like us can suck so bad."The answer is because you overthink things and make elaborate plans to transport bodies when you could just toss them in a dumpster and be done with it.
The only time a body needs to be hidden is if you do not want the crime to be discovered. But that is only a concern if you are connected to the victim.
>>29172493
I laughed harder than I should have
>>29172472
I'd say the opposite and it's only going to get worse.
Every card transaction you make it logged, and people who prefer cash are already considered suspect by government agencies, in 2030 cash will probably be abolished and 100% of transactions will be logged.
I'm pretty sure pic related's high score will never be beat, and he only got away with it because he had the legal authority to posses lethal drugs, and most of his patients were so close to death anyway, no one suspected a thing
>>29174956
>wear a morph suit under your clothes/mask
>shoot yourself a fair distance from the guy you frame
>shoot guy you frame in side of head from point blank range
>>29173471
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8zlUUrFK-M
>>29174897
This. At the very least it buys you enough time to flee to mootxico
>>29174998
>Even better, if you can get ahold of some used tampons, just throw them around the crime scene (or squeeze the blood from them all over the crime scene).
This thread is why I haven't started my post-vidya fap yet. Top-tier.
Also, some of you are proper stupid.
Has anyone ever bought maggots to rapidly speed up the decomposition process?
>>29173492
>Not hiding the bodies out of sync with the normal timeline.
You can't be serious.
>murdering anyone yourself
>not hiring people to do it for you
it's like you guys don't have underworld connections
>>29173471
that can't be real
bloxx
the real question is why serial killers haven't used lasers or drones. Lasers can be a pretty effective way of burning shit and some lasers are so powerful they ionize air/gases to the point that you can electrocute people. Then again serial killers are usually "blue collar" types who wouldn't know this
>>29173351
Using guns for murder is just stupid business anyways. Silenced guns are still quite loud and would draw significant attention to your location. Guns are terrible covert murder weapons. Blunt force trauma, asphyxiation, sedation followed by any other means of murder-- these are much better methods of covert murder.
It is phenomenally difficult to covertly kill someone with a gun since they draw police attention.
>>29174225
>what are dental records?
>>29175200
>Blood spatter analysts notices the blood on framed shooter is off immediately
>They search the area for things that seem off
>Find morph suit in trashcan
>Check DNA
Alternatively:
>They question you as a victim of the crime after noticing the blood spatter is off.
>Quick body search reveals the crumpled up morph suit that makes a bulge in your pocket
>See blood, dont even need DNA
This is all just assuming that you actually have time to change clothes with a random stranger without anyone seeing you before the police shows up.
>Police called after fourth shot is fired
>Response time 4 minutes
>No time to rack up kills
>Shoot random man
>1 minute passed
>Wait for all victims to flee
>Change clothes
>atleast 2 minutes
probably 2 and a half but I'm kind
>Run 10-20 metres away
>Build up courage to shoot yourself
>Shoot yourself
> run back
>Place gun on man (4 minutes, police outside)
>Take off gloves and put them on mans hands (or else they'd get the fingerprints from when you shoot yourself)
>Alternatively put them in your pocket
>Police storm building
>caught near corpse
>Bloody morph suit still in your possession
>Alternatively the gloves used to pull the trigger in your backpocket
>Police immediately detain you
>Forensics do their shit
>Lifetime.
It's plausible for your theory to work, Imma give you that, but you wouldn't be able to kill alot of people and you'd have to hurry so much you'll probably leave extra evidence on the stuff in the shape of sweat or whatever.
Still, it's plausible.
>>29174331
They are awful fucking people, I get excited when I see vids of them getting plowed over by a car.
>>29174794
You would have to make sure not to use a printer and use common paper/disguise handwriting so not to get caught. All printers leave little identifiers, that is how BTK got caught, he used the printer at his church or some shit.
>>29175475
Not always traceable or are ruined by the extreme heat, and rubber. If it's not not put out only thing left will be bone fragments. It's been tested before and used in crimes. It only takes six to ten tires to reduce a normal size human to ashes.
>>29175403
Lasers-- that is absolutely ridiculous. The cost of procuring a laser, the power draw required to cover an entire human body, the strangeness of your activity-- it is totally not feasible to attempt this method.
As for drones, you would need to really really know what you are doing and the murder would disclose that you are "someone who knows a lot about drones". That eliminates many other potential suspects and gives the police a decent avenue to explore. These can also be rather pricey and controls on drones are not exactly precise. You would have to get it through an open window... or something?
It is a lot of work that only makes murder more detectable.
>>29175437
Usually the only gun that makes sense is a .22 as you can actually silence them since you can have them subsonic, otherwise, yes, usually a terrible idea.
>>29175580
It takes a fuckton of heat to destroy teeth, a tire fire isn't going to do it.
>>29175614
Tires burn at crematorium Temps once you get them going. Google is you friend.
>>29175494
>40 bikers swarm together on a highway taking up every single lane
>going 15mph
>on a highway
>someone plows right through them killing several
>none of the bikers have phones because they all are wearing skin-tight shorts with no pockets
>not a single driver calls the cops
>that driver got away with multiple murders
>wait for halloween
>wear a morphsuit under your disguise
>take a big kinfe
>enter people's home, kill them
>go to another house covered in blood
>people compliment you because you look really spooky
>kill another person, repeat until you're bored
>go back home
>wash your clothes and chill
>>29172283
BODY IN A TOUGH NET!
By the time the net has deteriorated the body will be unrecognizable and fish and shit might have had a nibble.
>>29172565
Cops are only able to kill niggers. If they kill people they get in trouble.
>>29173778
According to your own video, if you use that method, there's still a body you colossal retard
>>29172575
Because maggots eat faster and it's not as gross. Strip it to a skeleton then you just have bones to deal with.
>>29174063
Fucking lol'd at this post
I see a few reasons why this would not work
>you'd have to be one of the strongest and toughest athlete to carry 180 lbs of human up Everest by yourself
>climbing Everest costs thousands of dollars and years of preparation
>>29175200
>Police response time faster than expected, panicked suspect seen fleeing from scene of mass murder in a neon green morph suit
>>29175598
Even that does not work. A silenced subsonic 22 is between 110 and 130 decibels. A jet engine is at 110. A jackhammer at 130. So, you're talking about really loud noise.
Silencers work in loud environments or to mask positions/muzzle flash. But it really is more of a fantasy thing than a reality thing.
>>29173223
That's not even stand your ground if it's in your own place. Since it's about getting away with murder I'm assuming over to mean a private residence and not something like walmart or the honky tonk.
>>29175614
It has been shown that open burning, regardless of feed stock or fuel, results in greater mutagenic emission factors than does controlled combustion provided by incinerators, boilers, cement kilns, or other combustion devices. Chunk tires produce higher burn rates and more potent organic emissions than do shredded tires. The mutagenic emission factor for the open burning of tires was 3-4 orders of magnitude greater than that for the combustion of oil, coal, or wood in a utility boiler.
http://www.calrecycle.ca.gov/lea/Advisories/46/
Rookies
>>29175593
>that is absolutely ridiculous. The cost of procuring a laser, the power draw required to cover an entire human body, the strangeness of your activity-- it is totally not feasible to attempt this method.
lasers are easy to make if you understand physics and chemistry
drones are being used by drug cartels and some higher end dealers. It's feasible
>>29173492
something something love something something interstellar i forgot the quote
>>29175931
Right, but the lack of containment, the heat will disperse very quickly between wind and just open space in the environment. You have to maintain like 2000+ degrees for hours to cremate a body in a containment, open air it will disperse a lot of the heat.
>>29175931
Cont.
>Tires are highly combustible. Even when densely piled, there can be enough oxygen supply for combustion. Tire fires are most often started by arson, and generate a large amount of heat, which makes them extremely difficult to extinguish. Some tire fires have continued to burn for months. An example is the Rhinehart tire fire in Winchester, Virginia, which burned for nearly nine months.
>>29174260
>>29174449
you get a bigger helicopter and carry the smaller one to the desert
you bury the smaller one in the desert with the pilot inside
>>29173826
One guy here got v& for posting mspaint diagrams of IEDs after one of his plans was actually used by the sandpeople. The constitution is a meme and I'm surprised I"m not under arrest for all those innocent pixels I"ve murdered over the years. I already have life without parole for animal cruelty to turtles alone.
>>29174010
yeah burying a 10 feet hole in a desert will surely go unnoticed
>>29175931
>Right, but the lack of containment, the heat will disperse very quickly between wind and just open space in the environment. You have to maintain like 2000+ degrees for hours to cremate a body in a containment, open air it will disperse a lot of the heat.
It may work but nothing draws attention like a huge tire-fire with dead bodies inside.
Good old yoghurt trick is better
>>29174173
Besides that you could just poke it with a needle a few times and all the bubbles will float out and people will just think it's fish farts and not a dead guy. No need to get fancy with pressure and temperature nerd shit.
>>29176000
>isis browses 4chan to find IED schematics
what a world
>>29176045
do fish fart?
>>29174348
Too bad you never learned how to type. You have a very distinctively retarded way of writing and tracking you would be trivial.
>>29175965
See>>29175982
I knew this was coming. That is why you don't put the body on top. You stick it in the pile preignition. You don't put these fires out with water you bury them, which helps you out anyway. By the time people realize there is a body there it's either long burnt or you're long gone.
>>29172063
You can just put them in a trunk or freezer or something like that.
>>29174093
Wrap the body and chain some heavy shit to it you tard ass.
>>29171688
I remember reading an anon's post long ago where he suggested freezing a sharp piece of his shit and using this to stab someone to death. When the shit melts, the murder weapon would be untraceable. Would this work?
>>29176205
The police would come knocking on your door when they find your shit melted over an inexplicable corpse, what the fuck it's a shit idea.
>>29173614
Expand further anon, I wanna know your story.
As much as you feel comfortable.
>>29176086
>all lowercase is distinctive
Come on, anon.
If I were to murder I'd go for the slow burn. Eating is definitely the best way to dispose of the evidence, but it's not murder until they're dead.
I select a target, then follow her around. Anytime I catch her alone? I don a mask and then CHOMP! I take a big bite and run off chewing. She probably thinks wtf was that and goes on. I see her swimming at the beach? CHOMP! Taking a bathroom break at a lone rest stop? CHOMP! Walking her dog? CHOMP! Eventually there wouldn't be anything left to murder and I'll have gotten away with it scotch free. I just have to decide if I save the clit for first or last. I like the idea of wooing a girl at a party and as I go to eat her out I take the expression literally and escape before she realizes what happened in her drunken stupor.
>>29176445
It really is. Then you have line breaks, favorite words and expressions, and more. Anyone could easily be tracked by their writing even with just a few samples, but his is especially distinctive. Most people who type know how to use the shift key. It stands out.
>>29176256
but how would they know its my shit?
>>29176558
A* idea anon. Truly the perfect crime.
>>29176638
you do know shit is one of the primary ways dna is gathered right
