Who /apathy/ here?
I have no interests, no goals, no strong emotions.
I'm always either mildly annoyed/anxious or mildly satisfied.
I don't know what to do. End me.
It felt like my soul died a couple years ago and I stopped feeling anything.
It's hard to even know what I am anymore. I sort of just pointlessly exist.
>>29170582
That's exactly it. Just existing, nothing more.
Wake up, shower, browse 4chan, jack off, go to bed, repeat. No meaning to any of it.
if there is no meaning to existing then why don't you losers just kys
>>29170841
I have a family so I don't want to do that.
I don't really care about the meaning of life and philosophical stuff like that. It's just my own existence that I can't make sense of.
>>29170916
>tfw your first existentialist crisis
>>29170539
Start working out. I felt the same.
It's hard at first to even drag yourself to the gym, but it'll be worth it. You can go at night if you're self conscious at first.
>>29170971
It's not an existential crisis. It's just fatigue on a fundamental level.
I had "existential" crises when I was a teenager and I came to terms with that stuff.
>>29170988
Yeah I used to do that, I didn't like it much. I suppose there's no harm in trying again.
I can't even play video games anymore. I just sit on the computer browsing 4chan and sleeping a lot.
I blame antipsychotics.
>>29171092
>antipsychotics
Are you schizophrenic?
>>29170539
I don't feel anything on average, but I do sometimes get good feels and bad feels. I just let them take me over like water washing over sand.
How do I change?
>>29171405
>How do I change?
Past a certain point you don't.
>>29171228
Yes.
Antipsychotics block dopamine, and as a result prevent you from feeling pleasure. It's garbage.
>>29170539
see a psychiatrist and/or psychologist.
>>29170988
I go running to pass the time.
I'm incredibly apathetic too OP. No interest or motivation in anything. I do care for my family though. I'm INFP if that helps.
>>29171464
And it's the only "treatment" available? Do things get much worse if you stop taking them?
>>29171440
Like a black hole's event horizon, 'eh? We're bound to be suck in and never return if we don't stop it before it is too late? I guess I am too late. Just as your image says, our depression that ran amok simply causes us to lose everything. Even online. I've come to this point.
Sometimes I do want to reach out, like now.
>>29170539
Always tired, always bored, never want to do anything. And nothing gets done.
>>29171472
What for? inb4meds shit doesn't help.
>>29171472
What for?
They'll just diagnose me with some form of depression, SPD or whatever the name for that is. I don't care about that.
>>29171513
Don't give up man. I feel hopeless too most of the time but I have good days. Anti depressants have helped me a fair bit, although I accept they're not for everyone.
>>29171483
I used to run at night but I stopped. It wasn't a bad feeling, but not a particularly great one either. What keeps you going?
Pretty much the same as you (ISTP though, I think). Have you given up on finding something?
>>29171557
I take anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. They don't seem to do anything but my doctor refuses to do anything since he believes my pot use (which has dropped from a quarter a day to a few blunts once a week) is why I see no improvements. I told him that I enjoy being able to smoke with people and that it is a different atmosphere than being left alone.
I'll keep on trekking my way through life, but I imagine I'll end up alone and with my thoughts and views. Nothing to ever share with the world.
No sense, no style.
>>29171500
On meds I'm still paranoid and never leave the house, but off of meds I start to hear and see demons and think weird things like I'm the king of hell or I'm dead and in the afterlife, walking around naked (because they told me to, and I felt like I had to listen to all the commands), or going around and asking my neighbors creepy questions door to door because i'm suspicious of them and ending up in the hospital for months. I hate the hospital so I keep taking them. First time it happened was the worst and I basically didn't even know where I was. The nurses looked like demons to me. So yeah, I kind of have to take it to stay sane.
>>29171500
Things get worse if you stop suddently taking them. If you lower the dose on a 2 week basis it won't get worse.
Yes
I feel trapped, I hate being me it's hell
>>29171555
>>29171544
I see a psychiatrist monthly for medication prescriptions and a psychologist weekly for therapy. Both help a lot with my depression and anxiety case. It's actually healing me.
I imagine it's the best bet for anyone with those conditions.
>>29171652
That sounds terrible, it sucks that you have to live through that shit.
>>29170539
Seeing a psychologist and taking medication helped me with my depression. Might help you as well.
>>29171693
What if I have no true desire to change?
Drugs work for me, artificial feelings are better than no feelings.
>>29171735
You most likely have no desire because depression is talking for you. I'd give it a shot, once you start feelings things you'll think more clearly. Everyone deep down want the best for themselves.
>>29171793
I don't know. It's true that I don't feel good, but I don't feel bad either. Why would I want that to change? Doesn't seem worth it.
How do you figure it's depression?
>>29171815
You are not be feeling bad although not feeling well can be abnormal. You might have some mild depression, maybe? If you barely feel anything it's probably sensible to seek help and see if anything's wrong, anon.
>>29171912
It's just that my "high and lows" are extremely slight compared to most people. I very rarely feel truly happy, and I very rarely feel truly sad. Most of the time I'm either mildly satisfied or mildly dissatisfied, or just don't really feel anything.
So as I said, it's not like this is causing me suffering.
>>29171976
I don't know, anon. I can only suggest you to have a professional's opinion on this, I don't think it's normal.
>>29171483
Well running is definitely better than nothing, but I suggest lifting heavy weights.
Also dont fall for the personality type meme, pseudo shit will have you classifying yourself something you're not.
>>29171602
I just enjoy clearing my head, exercise helps a lot for me (so does just being out of the house), and I like feeling that I'm at least doing something healthy.
I've given up on finding love, certainly. Wealth isn't a motivator for me either. Perhaps I will find a purpose in life, but it seems unlikely at the moment.
>>29172092
At what time do you go running? I dislike being outside with lots of people, which is one of the reasons why I stopped.
Well at the same time, I guess not finding a purpose is OK too.
>>29172206
Usually in the evenings, I have a nice route that is very quiet too. I don't mind being outside, I just hate having to talk with people or being forced into social settings.
>>29170539
Has anyone else gotten to the point where they've realised that you're such a failure at everything because you're incredibly selfish?
That you're awkward in public and have no friends because you're afraid that people will see you as less than what you believe yourself to be and were it that by some miracle you do make friends you become increasingly anxious around them because you're worried that they'll see you for what you're really are rather than what you want them to see?
You don't have a job or anything like that because you're afraid if you seriously try to get one that you'll be met with the absolute fact that you are not as valuable and important as you thought you were?
Has anyone else experienced this or is it just me?
How do I fix it?
>>29172239
>I have a nice route that is very quiet too
You go running in the street, not in a park?
So you're not bothered by the presence of people? That's nice I guess. I can't feel at ease if I'm not in an empty place.
>>29172258
So just me then?
>>29172418
Selfishness isn't bad, anon. Read The Ego and its Own.
>>29172258
I might understand-- at least the last point perhaps. It'd be devastating to try, put in legitimate effort, and fail. I myself used to have difficulties with finding the willpower to do anything out of fear for failing and ruining this "superior" image I created in my mind.
I don't really know what to tell you other than you need to realize you aren't perfect and you have flaws. Take risks and expose yourself; you and I aren't perfect paintings where anything would ruin the picture we are. You can be concerned about what others think about you but don't let it suffocate you. An overused and shitty analogy but it's like biking really: you don't just get on a bike and ride it around instantly, you fall a bit and scrape yourself. You need to stop holding this image that you're better than others or perfect or whatever, realize you will make mistakes and you must do so to learn. You're not the only spaghetti-lord out there in the world, many others used to or even still feel that way but they're not afraid to take risks to step forward in life. I'm not saying to go out there and give no fucks--although you can do that if you wish and ballsy enough. What I really think you should do is find a balance. You need to get over yourself, realize you are flawed (as is everyone else), expose your flaws and suture them. Hiding behind a conceived image is only hurting you if you hide behind it as it seems you do.
I don't really know if what I said is at all any similar to what you feel and I apologize if I totally missed the picture and put too much of my self in there. Even if the world is shit and life is meaningless, you can either choose to brood over it wistfully or try and take action into your life and control it as much as you can and find some pleasure. I think the beauty of it is balance, really. Don't care too much but don't care too little. I hope things go better for you.
>>29172811
It is when it limits your day to day activity though and I just don't really want to be selfish, I don't want to be selfless either of course because that's a terribly naive perspective, I just want a healthy balance that allows me to function as a human and I have no idea how to achieve it.
>>29172258
>his parents ACTUALLY praised him for abilities not demonstrated, teaching him to avoid situations which could prove them wrong!
>>29173000
You're absolutely right that the route to bettering myself pretty much just amounts to getting over it but it's the how that has me stumped.
It's like I can't evenn perform what should be a selfless act without letting myself be the focus of such an act and I have no idea how to change that way of thinking.
>>29171440
This is bullshit. The most I ever relate to is /r9k/
>>29171976
This sounds like schizoid personality disorder. Do you fantasise a lot? Do you have a sex drive? If I asked you your favourite book, band, movie, game, etc. would you be able to easily answer me?
>>29173160
Pretty much, my dad always tried to push me into unfamiliar situations so that I could find new solutions to them and kept trying to teach me the value of a good work ethic such as that success wasn't the goal of something like woodwork but rather the goal was in learning and discovery, with success just being a part of that process but he was at work for most of the day so I had no real counter to my mother's coddling.
>>29173284
>Do you fantasise a lot
Yeah
>sex drive
I jack off but I don't want sexual relationships
There definitely are books, movies, etc that I like, though. I don't lack emotion altogether.
>>29173296
>dad never home to teach me important shit
>he has more lenient schedule now but we hardly speak, almost a stranger to me
>mom pampers me too much
Only lessons I ever got from my dad was when he was tired and angry at me for doing something stupid, don't hate him for it but I don't remember the last time I said any word to him that wasn't yea or no
I usually just nod my head when he tries to talk to me now
I know how you feel familia
Every single interest I've ever had that staved off the loneliness has just died off in the past few years. I cant get along with people well and socializing something I'm remotely good at nor enjoy. I always just did my own thing like origami, reading, anime, vidya, etc. But now none of those hold any interest for me. 4chan is the closest thing to a hobby I guess, but even then I cant say i enjoy it here anymore. It is just a habit and a good timesink in between sleeping and working
>>29173749
Pretty much the same boat but I think my dad has somehow gotten it into his head that he was too harsh and strict so now he tries to have an interest in my autistic nerd shit.
