>Thank you for applying, but you need 2 years experience of preparing coffee and sorting mail in a LAW office for this law office clerk position.
>Sorry, but your experience of driving a WHITE cable truck is insufficient for our needs of a RED cable truck driver.
>Sorry, we want someone who is perfect at this specific job already immediately!
Why is HR so stupid?
>>29170271
>sorry, you need to be the boss's best friend's son to qualify for this position
>sorry, we already filled the position before we let you waste 3 hours of your day on this interview
>sorry, we want someone who is Quadrilingual in Spanish, Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, and English for this cleaning position
>>29170337
>>sorry, we want someone who is Quadrilingual in Spanish, Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, and English for this cleaning position
You know what, I'm seeing bilingual preference becoming more common on job postings. As if things weren't hard enough. Fucking mexicans
>>29170450
Makes being a finn so much easier. Two? Nah, we got three!
Y'all niggas need to get that veteran preference and apply for government jobs.
And learn Spanish, you fucking mongrels.
>>29170271
Because we live in a society where there is no longer any real demand for labor. Automation has made so many jobs obsolete that the number of workers is greater than the number of jobs.
Which means that HR can be total dickwads in their hiring process. There's 50+ other people applying for the same position, and that makes you completely expendable.
Maybe you're not trying hard enough to set yourself apart. Monkey's gotta jump through some hoops if he wants that banana, you know?
>>29170450
learn another language then you fucking degenerate
>English, Portuguese, Spanish, Finnish and Maori here
>>29171885
I CAN'T ROLL MY R'S FUCK YOU NORMO
>>29170271
Because there are so many disposable wagecucks that all have the same qualities that HR can skim them out.
Come on anons, you need to think. Supply and demand.
>>29171917
I'm Cuban and I can't either, anon ;_; They all make fun of me
>>29171885
Why the fuck would you learn Maori? Banging a Hawaiian chick?
Just walk in confidently, give the manager a firm handshake and look him in the eyes with pride.
That's all it took for me.
>>29171955
Sooo.. too many wagecucks, not enough jobs?
Sounds like the solution is more NEETS. Universal Basic Income when??
>>29171831
>be american
>be required to speak anything other than american
go back to your taco desert fucking spic
>>29172073
Just BBBEEEEEEEEEEE yourself, amirite??
>>29172082
It failed in Switzerland so probably not too soon...
>>29172082
Join the military. Get disability when you get out. It's like basic income but people respect you for having it for some reason.
>>29172073
t. gramps
I just want a part time job because I'm in college being bilingual doesn't help in my case. I don't know what these people want besides wasting my time
>get temporary job for 6 months
>work there for 3 months
>permanent job gets advertised
>apply, don't get it
JDIMSA
>>29171885
>Implying Portuguese isn't just a slurred dialect of Spanish
>>29170337
They have to interview you even if they know they filled the position with the guy who interviewed before you.
Its most companies policy.
Always schedule the earliest interview if it is up to you.
Literally just lie about job experience. Especially when it's trivial stuff that you know how to perform.
because you have zero leverage
>>29170271
HA! WAGESLAVES ETERNALLY RAPED!
Have you desperate, shit-tier waiges tried succ for Jones yet? Succ whatever you need to and maybe someone will hire you.
If you're in dire need of work ask your father or close relative to help you out with one. I did that in my teens and it lead to getting my first job.
>21 with restaurant manager experience, no degree (almost tho but that doesnt count for anything)
>Apply for a job with the city
>3 months of the hiring "process" where they call applicants, call people for skills tests
>only requirement is high school degree
>I take a skills test, get near perfect
>wait 3 months, constantly strung along
>dont even get the chance to interview, emailed that I did not make the cut
>know I would be the most competent person in the position, I would be fully committed to the job
>they are hiring for the position again a month later, other person probably didnt work out
>no contact even though they said they would keep me on file if it didnt work out
>probably would have got the job if i had a degree
degree in hr here, unemployable
HR is the epitome of of the stupidity of the modern version of the Gilded Age we are entering
HR is long been the dumping grounds of an organizations fuck ups and burn outs, not to mention being largely an entry point and domain of women in the workforce as well.
Basically the Civil Rights movement in the late 60's followed by the conservative backlash of Powell memo bullshit and the subsequent takeover of the right by the far right through the 70s-80s(skew american politics far to the right -- fact: obama & Mrs Clinton are more conservative by the rule of history than a fascist like Nixon by nature of the poltical environment)
Theres lots more tbqh than I can fit into a sound-byte fueled forum culture post kek lel maximus.
HR are people are incredibly stupid for reasons, a stupid unemployable HR person.
>you need five years experience in this two year old software suite
>hiring processes drags out for months, they know you're employed but have a start date less than two weeks after the offer
>it's a buyers market and you have to endure this horseshit for ever
what a great time to be alive (although it actually is)
>>29173841
aside from the employment situation (which will get sorted out in one way or another as automation ramps up and rolls everyone) it really is
>>29171885
English is like, the only relevant language. The companies trying to cater to illegals are the degenerates.
>>29171885
Nice to see another Te Reo bro here.
>English, Maori, Turkish, Latin, Greek, and Serbo-Croatian here
at least they reply to you. I get ignored and have my calls screened whenever I try to follow up an interview. If you don't want to hire me fucking tell me so I can stop investing time in trying to work for you.
>>29174048
That's what happened to me kept on getting told I would get a interview I didn't get one never get any responses
>>29173347
you just have to call people and remind them you exist endlessly
going thru some similar bs
>>29173977
>English is like, the only relevant language.
And you wonder why you cant get hired. Using "like" while typing something out = full retard.
>>29173347
>Waiting 3 months
>for any job
You're an idiot. Also who let you manage a restaurant at 21? Was it a fucking Steak n Shake?
>>29170271
They are dumb for wanting a job done right?
>>29173046
>They have to interview you even if they know they filled the position with the guy who interviewed before you.
No they don't. They can just not call back
HR is a made up profession, it has no actual productivity. It could theoretically have if it was done right, but none of them do it right, it's just memes and pretending to be useful for something while actually just arbitrarily making decisions that influence other people's lives.
Pepe's and wojacks, this is what we do.
WE STRIKE BACK. We fight back against the tyrannical HR stacies and tumblrinas.
But how do we do it? How do we eliminate HR as a position or make it so that HR is the most hated department(as if it already wasn't)
how can i go gay 4 pay? Is there a website or do I need to know people? Do you need a pimp?
>be me
>go to apply to grocery store
>friend helps me get in
>his dad is manager
>I get the job
>3 months later it turns out my friend is gay for me
>said that I don't really feel like rubbing dicks together
>we still friends and I support him being gay but we never touch dicks.
>the no dick touching must have upset him
>get call next week saying I have been treating coworkers unfairly
>figure out what's going on
>try to explain the situation
>get blamed for disrespecting friend and that the manager will never hire someone his son knows because of what happens
>not fired yet but everyone at store treating me like shit
where is my special treatment in business?
>>29175065
>make fake overqualified resume with fake information
>go to the interview
>empty piss/shit jugs on the HR person's desk
>>29175185
You still have a job. If they ever try to fire you, file a suit for being terminated because of sexual harassment from the friend and his father.
>>29175252
I'm scared. They are Italian what if there is a Italian hit squad that they know in case I "betray the family"
PANICK
>>29175321
you can act like a man
what's the matter with you?
>>29175408
Italians. Italians everywhere.
When I was a child I was told stories that Italian Mafia kidnaps people they don't like and they eat them.
>>29175436
I don't know if omerta applies to jilted homosexual advances
fear is the tool they use to make outsiders capitulate. But on the other hand this friend of yours probably tans easily
>>29173347
>somehow get hr interview with written test at a big international company
>for a 5 years exp. job with only 1 year exp to my name
>okayish hr interview, nail the written test (autism)
>meet old gramp director in second interview, get basically asked if I cheated on the test because it was meant for seasoned workers and I scored really high
>nervous laugh
>he can tell I'm socially awkward even though I do my best
>says to me: with that shy attitude you'll never work here, you gotta change that.
well ok, thanks I guess.
>>29175476
Should I get help from a Mexican gang?
>>29175566
the thing is the latin kings initiate white boys by making them latin queens so... devil you know is better than devil you don't
>>29175592
So I guess I should pull another columbine if it comes to that?
>>29175691
the choices you have are kill them or rub your dicks together
it really doesn't seem like that much of a choice though, does it?
FBI took the mob on once, maybe they'd do it again, but they'd probably at least want to cub the balls
>>29170271
HR is filled with women who have never actually worked ever and have no idea how the world works
>>29175738
I should probably call fbi.
Sting operations maybe?
this was a real posting, I saw it on /g/ and clicked the link before it was taken down
>>29175834
if you tell them there's a couple guineas a brreakin your a bahls I'm sure they'll be able to help you out
the alternative is you end up getting whacked one way or the other
>>29170271
Because it's ran by Stacies
