I need some serious advice, /r9k/. No this isn't /lgbt/ raid nonsense it's an actual question.
Last year I met a dude on this board, and we took to talking on skype pretty frequently. We've become pretty much best friends. Neither of us have a history of being gay at all, whatsoever. However, in the last month, I've developed a crush on him. I don't even know what he looks like, and he doesn't know what I look like, but I really adore him and feel like I love him. I want to be with him, live with him, and so on.
However, since we both have no history of gayness, I don't think he would be too into me if I came onto him in any way, except we are both virgins in our 20s so maybe that would make him more likely to want to be with me.
My question is whether or not I should pursue this at all, be honest about how I feel, or if I should just swallow it in order to continue our friendship?
Any gay bots/turned gay bots/whoever is good with relationships, please give me some advice. If I were to pursue him, how would I do it? I honestly have no clue how relationships are supposed to work.
A bump deep in the night
Pls help
see his face and see if you feel the same way
>>29163028
I honestly don't care. I know he's not deformed so I don't even care. As long as his face literally doesn't look like a burn victim's, I don't care. It's a feeling I've never felt.
I don't think that you are in love with him, you don't even know him.
>>29163153
I know a ton about him, I just don't know what he looks like, and as long as he's not genuinely frightening to look at I don't care.
I'm confused as to what this means if it's not love.
>>29163197
I understand that you like his personality, probably you share the same interests in a lot of thing, but do you like him in a sexual way? Do you want to penetrate his anus because he is friendly with you?
>>29163250
>but do you like him in a sexual way? Do you want to penetrate his anus because he is friendly with you?
Not penetrate his anus or have my anus penetrated, but I do feel like I'd enjoy jerking him off, and would enjoy having him jerk me off, or even full on mouth stuff, too.
So yes, not in a full on gay homo get HIV type way but pretty gay yeah. I'm confused because I've never had gay feelings like this before.
>>29163279
>I do feel like I'd enjoy jerking him off, and would enjoy having him jerk me off, or even full on mouth stuff, too.
But, why? I think you are confusing that he is nice with other things, why would you want him in a sexual way?
I think you should meet him IRL, if time passes and you still feel the same way probably you should tell him how you feel. But what would I know, I'm a kissless virgin
Have you ever met or are you planning to do so
>>29163345
We have not but we plan to do so at some point in the coming months.
>>29163344
I don't know why, that's why I'm confused. I don't know if I'm confusing how nice we are to each other with sexual/romantic stuff, or what. Like I said, we are both KV as well so I really am unsure. But at the same time, I would really love to masturbate with him, and the feeling is so strong I don't think it's just plain confusion, at least that feeling isn't.
That is a good idea. I don't want to ruin the friendship, but for all I know maybe he feels the same way. We are fairly affectionate beyond average friendships I think. We don't banter all that often, and usually are always sweet with one another.
your lonely for contact and your autism has made you confused
If your so close why tf haven't you met yet
>>29163431
It's honestly possible. Can you give me some questions/ideas as to how I can tell if it's genuine or autism/loneliness caused?
>>29163437
He lives in on the West Coast and I live in the South so we're not close enough to conveniently meet. We plan to soon, in the coming months sometime, likely September.
Bumping
Please give more advice.
Do you guys have questions/a test that would help me discern if it's an autism/loneliness thing?
You'll stop having these feelings once you see his ugly face. Cap this post.
>>29163683
I could not care less as long as he's not actually scary to look at. I feel so strongly about him emotionally, and I know he's not some big fat dude, so I don't care how his face looks.
Bumping, I'm still around and still hoping for a guiding hand.
>>29164240
whats so great about this faggot?
>>29164322
Too many things to list. What's most important is that we understand each other.
>>29164365
You need to see each other. Whoever is cutest will be the trap/bottom and the other will top.
>>29164405
What if neither of us want to take the angus?
Bumping
I seriously cannot navigate relationships. Please someone give me some steps on what I should do. This is important to me.
>>29164827
Don't overthink this shit. Confess and see what happens, Report back.
>>29163410
>We have not but we plan to do so at some point in the coming months.
Setting yourself up for problems. You're filling in all the blank spaces with the best possible scenario, giving all the benefit of the doubt.
You should get down to hard facts quick so you won't pin all your hopes and feelings on an unknown. Figure out real quick if this is something you want or don't want.
>>29163410
>But at the same time, I would really love to masturbate with him, and the feeling is so strong I don't think it's just plain confusion, at least that feeling isn't.
Lol then fucking do it. If you're both so compatible, then explore together, do shit that feels good, research, try, experiment - whatever. Do what feels good. Be intimate. If you're so honest with one another, then be honest and tell each other what works for you and what doesn't.
>>29164853
Isn't there some sort of strategy that would increase the odds though? Like slowly getting him to answer gay questions over time until I can gauge if he would be interested or not without telling him directly?
I feel like maybe there are some tactics that would increase the odds.
Then again I'm probably overthinking things.
>>29164882
Good advice anon thank you. You're right, all the romantic nonsense aside we do need to pin down a date for when we'll meet. But you're right, it's just that neither of us have a gay history so the idea of "exploring together" and all that would be difficult to get into especially just over skype.
>>29164435
You don't have to engage in anal sex, there are other ways to have fun
>>29164919
"DO YOU LIKE GETTING YOUR DICK SUCKED Y / N?"
Most dudes are going to say yes. Hope one of you enjoys the taste of cock. Of course when it's with someone you care about, it all tastes good.
Before either one of you does any anal, I'd look into what you need to do in preparation. Not unless one of you wants shit on your dick. Douching, lube, etc.
But that can be a long way off. Consider you may find him physically repulsive. What if they're morbidly obese? What if YOU'RE morbidly obese? Lol, a lot of unknowns.
>>29164954
Well the thing is we're both virgins, and really value sex, so the idea of being so forward about "CAN I SUCK YOUR DICK?" probably wouldn't work. It would have to be romantic.
>of course when it's someone you care about, it all tastes good
that's reassuring actually.
I wouldn't find him repulsive, I know neither of us are even overweight, were both really skinny, and I know that neither of us are deformed. I really like your advice though, you're very honest and forward.
>>29164940
That looks pretty gay but I could see myself doing it with him honestly.
>>29165029
Just keep talking normally with him for now, and try to meet up. Does he show any signs of feelings for you do you think?
>>29165076
I'm really not good with signs so I don't know. We're generally pretty sweet to each other, and we talk about how when we meet we're going to hug a lot. I guess that is pretty gay.
>>29165119
That's cute. Whether or not he'll return your feelings it's really nice that you have made a good friend. Maybe you should talk to him on video chat?
>>29165148
I've thought about it but we're both very anxious about that. Honestly I don't think either of us are ugly, we both have really bad childhoods and have been stunted terribly socially because of them. We stick to voice calls for now, we've talked about doing a video call before we meet to know who we're looking for. But I think so too I've made a good friend and I don't want to mess it up by being too gay if he doesn't feel that way.
>>29165193
After you meet and it all goes well and maybe even become better friends try to kind of subtly give hints and see how he reacts. It's hard to do that if you're a social autist but look up a guide on the internet or something
>>29165224
That is what I was thinking, being subtle instead of straight up. It's hard to do but at the same time, when I really think about it, it almost seems like we're already in a gay relationship with all the things we say to each other.
Has this happened to you or other gay/possibly bisexual dudes before?
I've been nothing but straight seemingly my whole life, but suddenly there's a dude who I really like the personality of and now I'm a homosexual. What happened? Was I gay all along?
>>29165268
You felt this way with girls too? You could be bisexual that's more into girls than guys. It happens dude.
What kind of stuff do you guys say to each other by the way?
>>29165333
Not the exact same with girls. With girls it's always been a surface level physical attraction, but I didn't even realize the difference until now, because now the personality is so alluring that I feel I may be bisexual. It feels like true love honestly, and it confuses me.
We'll say half jokingly/half seriously "i love you man" or "i can't wait to hug you" in our more serious messages, always say night/goodnight before hanging up, there's some banter but usually we're just really nice to each other and make each other laugh by making fun of other things and playing video games together.
>>29165396
All I can say is go for it.
I'm going to say something, I'm not saying follow it because it's risky but something to consider: My gay friend was in love with a guy for a long time and he knew the guy was straight, and also a strict Christian from a Lebanese family. Nontheless he told the guy his feelings, and surprisingly there was no shitstorm. They remained friends and my friend finally stopped having a crush on him.
You probably live in an area which is less opressive towards homosexuality than mine. If you continue to have strong feelings and if he seems to be at the very least open-minded, then you could confess. It's all up to you though. Just see how it all goes in your friendship and you can always ask for more advice in the future. Good luck anon
OP, do it and post response, please.
>>29165561
That's a nice story, I'm glad everything worked out.
While I feel that in a normal situation, where a guy has a crush on a girl who is a friend of his, if he told her it would be too awkward to continue. However, like in the situation you brought up, I feel we're such good friends that we could shrug it off and move on if he didn't feel the same way. However, I still plan to take it slow and subtle, but I most definitely do appreciate your advice and it's been very helpful. Thank you very much.
>>29165578
I will tell him/reveal it at some point, and when I do I will be sure to come back and update you guys.
>>29165029
>Looks pretty gay
News flash OP: you're infatuated with another man. That makes you one of two things: bi or gay. Pick one and then let that sink in for a moment.
Then fucking relax. Watch some porn, get some ideas. Monkey see, monkey so. It's not difficult.
>>29165620
I never said it looking gay was a bad thing. I was just saying.
I'm new to the idea of being homosexual or bisexual but I have no issue with it. Is a homosexual relationship with little or no butt sex viable or possible?
>>29165728
https://www.good.is/articles/gay-sex-is-not-anal-sex
According to this less than half of gay couples have anal sex
>>29165772
This is very good to know. Anal sex scares me.
>>29165805
Why? Afraid of pain or disease?
>>29165816
The fact that poop comes from there, and it's so tight that it could tear or rip up, plus prolapsing anuses.
I know those things are unlikely but still.
>>29165888
Good preparation and not very frequent sex would prevent that, but yeah it does seem gross. Anal sex is not a must in a lot of relationships so it's okay
>>29165917
Thank you for the reassurance, this is good to know.
>>29162686
The same thing happened to me OP. We ended up discussing the subject one day and he actually reciprocated my feelings. We decided to meet up not that long after but unfortunately I wasn't good enough for him irl. I went from feeling as happy as I could remember to absolutely devastated. This killed the friendship and I was left with nothing.
My advice would be to proceed with caution. Decide if the friendship is valuable enough to you or if you want to risk it all for something more.
>>29166276
I'm terribly sorry to hear that anon, he just decided he didn't want it in real life? I'm sure it wasn't just about you, more about the whole gay thing and it scaring him in real life maybe.
Thank you for the advice.
>>29166341
He always talked about wanting a relationship like that, but after we met, he didn't see it working with me. We were both robots that didn't care about what normalfags thought of us, so I don't think it was the whole gay thing. It was mainly me not meeting his actual standards. Try not to get your hopes up or get ahead of yourself if you decide to go for it.
>>29166453
I know, I don't mean the gay stigma, I just mean if he didn't have the gay history it really probably wasn't about you meeting his standards so much as just not being a girl. But either way I'm really sorry, that is genuinely awful.
I will be careful and cautious, and your story is noted.
>>29166484
Maybe so, thanks.
Best of luck to you, anon. Hopefully you can find some happiness.
>>29166574
I wish the same for you, you deserve it after what happened to you.
