What are the biggest differences between you and the person you want to be?
I want to be androgynous and comfy
>>29123859
The biggest difference is that i'm alive
I'm not a trap, not liked by people and don't have a trap bf.
FUCKING KILL ME NOW
>>29123859
Me
>Mentally ill
Ideal Me
>Not mentally ill
Real me is lazy while ideal me wouldn't be lazy.
>>29123859
Money and a decent career as a writer or composer. Minimum wage would be ok.
Keep trying. W-we're all gonna make it.
I can't roll my r's fuck Spanish
>>29123859
I'm not brutal enough. I want to be a sick cunt m8.
>effort
>talent
>big meaty cock
>>29123859
This just made me more depressed.
My ideal self is traveling Europe with a small stream of residual monthly income.
My current self is not traveling Europe with a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle as of now.
My ideal self also knows how to play the flute ;_;
>>29124833
Why? If you like constantly being stressed, tired and on the verge of snapping at every minor instance, than sure.
>>29124776
This.
I actually am sort of edgy already, but I want to be sicker desu
>>29124922
I mean thinking about my ideal self. It's just me minus depression, but that's never going to leave.
I had about three paragraphs typed up, but I don't have enough confidence to post it. That about sums up the root of the issue.
In descending order of importance:
1. I want a clean conscience. My biggest issue is that I can't let go of shame and guilt and move on. It concerns both the way I treat myself and the way I treat others. Both in the past and the present.
On an existential level, if I wanna stay alive and have a good life I need to keep hogging resources for myself, behave egoistically, be selfish. Acting this way really hurts me, I keep thinking of how if it weren't for me things could've been much much better for some other person somewhere, or animal, even. It prevents me from enjoying the things I have. Even though my nihilism is deeply rooted, I can't shake off the existential guilt. And even if I were able to turn into a complete psychopath, I probably wouldn't, seeing how that's not far from the opposite of the person I want to be. The only way I think I could free myself from these feelings is by going through heavy brainwashing by some sect or something. I'm really not made for this competitive world, where you have to oppress others to survive and advance.
On a more personal level, I've been a disappointment for everyone around me, including myself. I don't feel that whatever good things I can do will make up for my mistakes and the bad things I've done. Good things are fleeting in my memory, bad things lasts forever. And I've done some pretty fucking evil stuff. I never forgive, never forget, as it goes.
I think there's no way around it, I'm going to die filled with anxiety and regret.
2. I want people to respect me. Pretty straightforward. I want people to listen when I speak. I want them to carefully consider what I'm saying. I want them to look up to me.
Of course, this strong desire comes from never being respected by anyone in my life. People have always ignored me or talked down to me. I don't think I'll ever have a strong social presence no matter how hard I try. I believe the only way I could gain general respect from others is through achievement.
About 9kg that I'm painstakingly slow losing so I can visit escorts and not be self-conscious about my body.
Otherwise I'm fairly happy with my autistic self.
>>29125283
3. I want to be capable of realizing my aspirations. The biggest problem is my lack of energy and motivation, not my mental resources. But even with the drive to push on, I'm unsure whether I'd be able to succeed, seeing how my interests are in the creative fields, in which there are no clear steps to take. No education alone will make you a good author, artist or musician.
4. I want to be attractive to people. No one has ever expressed any attraction for me irl. I've had a couple of online flings which led to nowhere and in the end didn't contribute much to my self-esteem. Just getting complimented for the way I look even once would do wonders for my self-esteem.
Also I want to be attractive to myself as well.
5. I want to feel healthy and strong. I want to rid myself of that constant feeling of nausea, joint/muscle pain and general feeling that my body could give up at any given time. I guess I should work out.
tl;dr: blablabla feelings.
>>29124058
this some deep shit anon
I want to be a strong, insightful, independent and charismatic guy. A park ranger personality. I want to be a dad, a good dad that people look up to and children would say "I wish my dad was as cool as you"
I wish I could write, paint and all sorts of creative things that will strike people with emotion and inspiration
> tfw weak, impulsive and awkward, probably going to blow my brains out the day I turn 30 if I've never had a gf by then
> tfw my dad is a sociopath and raped my mom to make me so she'd have to stay married to him so he'd have something to fuck for at least 18 years
> tfw mommy just hung herself when I was 7 and old enough to understand what a awful person my dad is
> tfw raised BY A FUCKING SOCIOPATH
The ideal me would be myself without all my health issues.
And more purity.
porn addiction and low willpower
Repeatedly fucked over by friends and family, be it unintentionally or otherwise.
I'm even moving across the country tomorrow to get away from it all. Maybe then, I can be as successful as I want to be, without anyone holding me back.
>>29123859
Ideal me
>5 years older
>finished uni
>fit
>androgynous
>at least 2 meters
>charismatic
Me
>19
>still in uni
>chubby
>fail at being andro and just look like an ugly girl
>1.77 meters
>manipulative instead of charismatic
Well I still have time. Not that I'll be any taller.
>>29125457
>just look like an ugly girl
pls post pic
My ideal self doesnt avoid conflict or uncomfortable situations, instead he finds excitement and enjoyment.
>>29125457
>at least 2 meters
why
>>29123859
Ideal me is a trans-human robot god that conquers the universe with the robot masterrace that I crafted alone.
Real me browses 4chan and masturbates all day.
>>29123859
my ideal self is a 6'0 to 6'5 blonde female with a very calm personality who takes things slowly, has the skills and interests I have now, and basically has my whole personality, except now I'd be a 6'0 to 6'5 female
I'd also be about 16 to 18 years old
real me is a 5'8 boy with dark brown hair with a calm personality who rapidly switches between taking things slowly and taking things into overdrive at seemingly random intervals
>>29123859
beauty. If i wasn't that ugly I believe I had more confidence.
![[HON & H-S]Gosei_Sentai_Dairanger_27[18D2D4A0].mkv_2013-06-01_23-18-54.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0oEPyey.jpg "[HON & H-S]Gosei_Sentai_Dairanger_27[18D2D4A0].mkv_2013-06-01_23-18-54.jpg")
My ideal self would be the Red ranger from a sentai show. Energetic, mood-maker, leader and always cheers up the people around him. Takes responsibility for his actions. Unbreakable willpower.
In truth, I'm fairly introverted and even though people seem to generally like me, I don't feel like I have a strong presence in anybody's life.
bumpering a good thread day-soo
>>29125333
>tfw mommy just hung herself when I was 7
Damn nigga. Damn
Give writing or music a shot
In the words of a crazy TV doctor:
"With great pain comes great art"
