>>29092011
Can you actually die from your shitting being to big to push out?

>>29092011
Try to break up the poop with your fingers.
Power wash your hands afterwards

>>29092011
get some laxatives my friend

but why have you not been shitting for the past 2 weeks?

>>29092026
Pretty sure that's what happened to Elvis.

>>29092011
Do you habitually ingest greasy food and amphetamines, OP?

>not shitting in 2 weeks

>blood

See a doctor you fucking moron.

It's less embarrasing having a doctor remove your shit than dying from your shit being too big.

Just bee em yourself, bruh

Be very careful OP, if you strain too hard you can have a brain anuerism and you're toast

>>29092026
Probably, you either strain and force it out which puts a lot of pressure on your intestines and heart or it stays in and becomes toxic. It's rotting food, after all.

This is why I eat vegetables every day with every meal, if it takes me more than a couple minutes to shit I hate it. OP, if the blood wasn't dark red/blackish you probably have a small tear from straining. It's not fatal, but you need to go to a doctor. If you can't get to a doctor, get laxatives/fiber/vegetables. But you should really go to a doctor if it's at all possible.

>>29092060
This. Holding in your shit is no joke, OP should go to the ER

If you squeeze hard enough it should come up and out your mouth op

As an amerifag, I would happily die on the toilet. Its downright patriotic, I tell you hwut

I regularly hold in my shit for two weeks. Feels good man.

what the fuck is your diet like?

I shit at least once a day, big loads. All-bran for the winzorz.

you been taking opiates or something?

Fuck almost 50 minutes on the toilet now. I ate what was available, could be frozen food, junkfood I didn't really mind. Some days I ate nothing. I don't do drugs besides cigarettes. I think it's because I'm a NEET and only move within my one room apartement. I heard sport is good for bowel movement or something and I barely move at all, maybe that's the reason. Fuck it, if I hit the 1-hour mark I'm calling the medics, I'm not dying while taking a shit and I'm really dizzy now.

>>29092219
Fucking casual. I regularly hold in my shit for long periods of time. Sometimes even for 3 weeks. Step your game up.

I wasn't joking about the 3 weeks thing

just reach in and pull the shit out, it's not complicated

>>29092219
You type very well for someone dizzy and straining on the bog.
I think Thomas Jefferson would approve

I remember I was given morphine after surgery and I shat a giant american football shaped shit a week after the surgery

Pinch off every zig
For great justice

NO POOP 2K16 IS ALIVE AND WELL

>>29092219
Kek, i just finished a 3 hour shit. Prayed to all the gods, held on for dear life, and sat as the beast tore my asshole wide open. It really does feel like you're not going to make it out alive, doesn't it?

The key is to pace yourself. If you see an opportunity to squeeze out half a millimeter fucking go for it, because you're not going to get another chance.

>>29092011
Damn what a shitty situation or lack there of. Iktf, that's why I drink water and eat as much fiber as I can.

>>29092432
Do you have a picture with a tape measure. Or can you take it out and weigh it.

Why the fuck has no one suggested laxatives?

>>29092465
It's in the sewers now.

>>29092011

If you ate fiber bread in the morning instead of cake and soda and fried ham you wouldn't be in this situation.

You should really consider sitting in a bathtub and shitting it out while bathing in your filth.
Put a bag and rubber band around your dick, you don't want to get an infection.

also, put about a cup of hydrogen peroxide in the bath with you, it'll help break the shit as it comes out your ass as well as treat any wounds.

This is only if you want to avoid hospital/paramedics, OP. I'd also recommend filling the bathtub up to a point where you could just sit on the edge of the tub with your shitter in the water and your legs on dry land, so you don't have to worry about cleaning the shit off your legs. Be advised, this is more uncomfortable, do you should get some cushions to sit on like a towel if you choose to go that route.

Also, don't be afraid to use your fingers, light a candle, and have something to keep you occupied for the next few hours.