So I just moved into a new apartment. My bedroom is downstairs and everyone else's is upstairs. What am I supposed to do in this situation?
Should I ask them if we should get dinner together? They aren't talking to me, do I need to try to talk to them?
Is it rude if I close my bedroom door?
Would it be weird if I just ordered pizza and ate it alone?
To clarify I don't care or not if I become friends with these people... but it would be nice to have friends eventually I guess and this is good practice social situation
Ok I am hungry so I am going to order pizza but if they want some they can have it is that ok
Make an effort to make friends with them, but if they want to just stay quiet and separate then whatever. Just because you're roomates doesn't mean you have to be close friends.
>>29088052
So right now should I go ask them if they want to get pizza or something
that might make it seem like I want them to pay for some of it idk
I can't wait till I get to a point in my life I will never have to live with someone again desu
are they a bunch of chads or are they people you'd not mind becoming friends with? just because you live with someone doesn't mean you have an obligation to be their best friend.
don't actively engage them, but still be courteous.
getting to know people really sucks because you think they'll be cool but they end up being lame as fuck. or vice verca.
i say order pizza and if there's a few slices left over, leave a note on it that says "free pizza" and if you want to spice it up, put an exclamation point at the end. keep it simple though, nothing too cringey.
>>29088084
Yeah, just ask them if they'd like to come with. Or if you're going to order delivery, ask if they want to order anything too. If you put it that way I don't think there's any implication that you want them to pay.
Basically right now you're just gauging how much they want to be friendly or keep to themselves. It could go either way but either way it's pretty normal.
>>29088137
also don't tell them that you're ordering it, save that for when you actually start talking to them.
>>29088118
>are they a bunch of chads or are they people you'd not mind becoming friends with
they wear tank tops and care a lot about some sports game going on right now so I am guessing chad
>>29088137
Yeah I think I am just gonna order it, hopefully they don't think I am rude or something
>>29088143
>ask if they want to order anything too
that's actually a really good idea thanks
>>29088143
nevermind it's too scary asking them I just ordered it
great work team
>>29088178
>>29088227
order it, but don't engage, i'm telling you. not now at least.
the note will work, you'll establish yourself as someone who is kind but respects boundaries. you're comfortable with them stepping into yours, so let them do it when they do.
>>29088256
leaving a note is autistic as fuck i am not gonna do that
fuck it I have a plan
I will order the pizza and recieve it outside directly from the pizza man and I will eat as much pizza as I can while walking around the neighborhood then throw out the rest so they don't know I ordered pizza
>>29088298
The plan you just described is extremely autistic...
Literally all you have to do is say "hey guys, I ordered pizza, would anyone like a slice?"
>>29088298
Your idea is way more autistic than the note stuff. Just leave the note or starve to death.
>>29088410
hahaha fuckin starve matey
>>29088298
hahahah you stubborn ass! you're not ready mentally to talk to them yet, and if you try you're just going to trip over your words and make yourself seem like a sperg
write
the fucking
note
I live by myself in a bedsitter and I can safely say that neighbors are cancer. Don't become their friend; you'll end up getting knocks on your door every single day from them asking for shit and there's no way for you to fuck off from theirs or getting them to fuck off from yours without seeming rude.
>>29088178
if you know for a fact that you have nothing in common with them then just do your own thing, if you are into sports and want to make some money, tell them you are taking bets
You share a kitchen and bathroom with these people? Who the hell are they? Have you spoken with them?
>>29088362
>The plan you just described is extremely autistic...
it would only be autistic if someone noticed but I am very careful to make sure I go unnoticed in public
nobody will see me walking around eating the pizza I could even go sit in a park it might even be nice
>>29088470
>>29088505
fuck you losers the note would make me look gay as fuck it would look like I am pitying them since they don't have food idk
>>29088588
yeah I share a kitchen and a bathroom
I think there's three of them, I don't really know I haven't talked to them yet but I've only been living here like 4 days so it's not really too late yet
Don't just order it you autist. Walk up to them and say "I'm ordering a pizza, you guys want some?"
If you're poor say "you guys want to split it?"
>>29088003
My nigga, just fucking DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!
If you catch yourself thinking about what they may think just think about something else.
>>29088084
You can't wait until you stop careing what you think about people not when you live alone, just stop giving a shit about what they think
>>29088643
>Don't just order it you autist.
it's too late anon. I already ordered it
shit you are right this is autistic
I have to decide, should I just subvert the pizza man to another address and meet him there or should I just say I didn't order it when the pizza knocks
Basics of living with room mates. Clean up communal areas like bathroom and kitchen if you make a mess. Communicate when you need to use them if necessary. Be quiet and discrete especially at night. Don't be a jerk about stuff like taking out garbage, cleaning dishes or stolen food. Get a mini fridge and keep it in your room if you want it for yourself only. Voluntary social interaction depends on the people. Maybe you're all friends and you talk a lot or maybe you're all strangers that quietly fuck off to your own part of the house. Both are fine. Door open or closed, share or don't share, just depends on what YOU want to do.
>>29088710
>just stop giving a shit about what they think
What if they bully me ;_;
>>29088733
>all strangers that quietly fuck off to your own part of the house
is this ok from the beginning or do I have to pretend to be friendly for a few days?
do i have to specify that I plan on doing this
>>29088725
Dude just stop overthinking this. Answer the door when the dude comes, and pay for the pizza. Then eat it. Ask your room-mates if they'd like some, but if you're feeling like that's too much, just bring it to your room and eat it.
>>29088669
>If you catch yourself thinking about what they may think just think about something else.
what if they are thinking about me though
I am just gonna take a walk to cool down, hopefully the pizza will come while I am out and they will be confused but I won't have to deal with it
>>29088757
No one is going to bully you, most people do not bully someone for being themeselves ,so if a person does 'bully' you then that person is harassing you and that is a very serious crime that can easily be reported to the police who will be happy to help you. If the police don't care then that's another issue that you can solve by speaking to the state but that's a whole different story.
If you do something to off put someone they would usually approach you and speak about it maybe even ask you to stop doing that thing which you can either choose to do or not do depending on if you have the ability too. The nice thing to do is usually to honor the other persons request and stop doing that particular thing unless you can't. Most people can and they work out like this avoiding to start problems with the other individual by careing for their issues with themselves.
In short, be yourself and don't worry about others and eventually the others will point out what they dislike and you can choose to either fix it or not up too you. This of course does not dictates the relationship you have with an individual based on whether or not you honor their request. If a person hates you so much and harasses you then that is like I said very serious and it can be reported to police because this is what their job is for.
Good luck
>>29088801
that is always completely okay as long as it doesn't fuck up the practical functional part of living together. normalfags sometimes take offense if they feel that you're intentionally ignoring them, or they may think it's suspicious if you're a weird type but in this context if you take care of your own stuff and don't bother anyone they'll generally respect the peace.
for OP's question of pizza i'd say just buy the thing, eat your fill and leave leftovers in the fridge with no explanation. if nobody eats it great, if someone does eat it no biggie. unless it's some special snack you really want for yourself in which case write a note even just putting your name on it, or say something to that effect.
>>29088949
The big problem I have with just ordering the pizza is it may come off as kind of like I am not attempting to interact with them enough because I haven't really talked to them, do you think they might be offended? Is there any way to tell if they are offended without directly communicating with them
>>29088997
sharing food is a somewhat intimate act and it's not expected between strangers.
it's not like a family where you're expected to all be familiar. you're an adult, you paid your money, you're entitled to your shit regardless. you wouldn't make friends with your neighbor at a hotel, would you?
>>29088997
If they get offended they are shit people. Just do your things. Yeah, sometimes you should talk and tag along but that does not mean that from now you will have to share and do everything with them.
>>29088911
Harassment isn't a serious crime you fucking autismo, I guarantee the police won't even care.
>Should I ask them if we should get dinner together?
that'd be weird
>They aren't talking to me, do I need to try to talk to them?
yeah just say hello when you come across one of them. If you can make smalltalk try and do that. Else try anyway, figure out how smalltalk works (it's essentially about chatting without saying anything)
>Is it rude if I close my bedroom door?
No. But you can have it open at times where you don't mind doing so, so people know you're open to interaction and not a shut in.
You are not obligated to befriend these people, but they live with you so you should at least have some courtesy. Last accomodation I lived in the owner's gf didn't even bother saying hello. Just because she doesn't live there doesn't make her a ghost.
And well, I guess it's easier being just a bit social rather than being the creepy silent recluse.
If either of them are idling at some point you could invite them to join you (or join him/her) in having a smoke/beer/joint or playing vidya.
Where I lived my two immediate neighbours played vidya.
>>29089383
>smoke/beer/joint or playing vidya.
i do none of these things
ok guys update time
when i was getting the pizza from the pizza man i dropped it but i paid for it anyways
the pizza was all slooped on one side it was too disgusting to even suggest sharing i just ate 2 slices and poured the rest in the fridge
also i haven't seen them for a while so I am guessing they have already eaten and are doing their things upstairs in their bedrooms
so i think i am good
