Not long. If you want it to be successful get drunk maybe, put the barrel to your head and pull the trigger, just like that. Snap decision, don't waste time. It's like ripping off a band-aid sorta. You have to just do it fast, get it over with. Or were you talking about something other than this picture?

>>29086132
i just meant your current lifestyle in general

i dunno whats worse. lasting a long life of dull drudgery and suffering.. or killing yourself and leaving your family scarred

every option is shit i guess

>>29086182
Sometimes there aren't any good options. There may be people who try to convince you not to end your life even after you know there is no hope. So you have no life, and you have no death. Eventually have to choose one or the other. I decided to stop talking to people in my life, so it becomes like they don't know me anymore. Then I can unselfishly commit suicide.

Half the time I want to kill myself and the other half I'm hopeful for the future

I'm sure one side will win eventually

I think part of my pain stems from a deeply inset fear of disappointing my parents. As bad as it sounds, once they die I think I could be happy with myself whatever I am, even if that means begging on the street.