>tfw INTP and schizoid
Who else /empty/ here?
>>29081612
>tfw no feeling when
>>29081755
Pretty much. I've been losing interest in most things lately, actually I can't even name one thing I truly like or care about. I don't know how I'm going to handle being alive for several more decades with such a lack of concern for everything.
>>29081755
>tfw want to feel but remember i have no feels
>tfw try to vicariously experience feels
>tfw traces of feels from books and music
>tfw try to apply these feels to my feels
>tfw still have no feels
>>29081851
I found that the only feels I get are extracted from my imagination rather than events.
As in, fabricating an inner world and living through it actually makes me feel more than my everyday life.
>>29081834
I share your pain. I've been becoming mentally lazier by the day. Nothing makes me excited or enthusiast anymore.
I pick up a new hobby, love it for a day, and then it becomes boring. I jump from one thing to another so often.
>>29081917
That's exactly how it is. Even when things happen that I would very much like to place myself "in the moment" of, I only seem to truly experience them when alone and writing the events down as if I were living in a story. It's sometimes said that schizoids are exquisitely sensitive people who have learned/been conditioned to separate themselves from reality. A lot of philosophers are this way as well, since rationalization and intellectualization take the place of actually "being" in the present.
>>29081612
>INTP and schizoid
hey there fellow schizoid
Are you /merely piloting your body/ too?
>>29081612
INTP. Not schizoid, but feel like a husk all the same.
>>29081851
>tfw finding out about personality types only made you sink into that personality stereotype even more
>tfw prefer not to know about underlying lack of feelings in the first place
>tfw you can't remember when you last did a feel
I'm intp and schizophrenic. I think all schizophrenics are probably INTP, but not the other way around necessarily. IT's a very schizoid personality.
>>29081977
Yeah, exactly. Things are interesting for some time, then lose their appeal. Lately it's been politics and philosophy, but that's slowly losing its charm too.
Have you given up on trying to find something to stick to, or do you think you'll eventually find a passion? The former for me.
>>29081988
Pretty much. The real world just "happens" around us, and even though we're aware of it, it's never as interesting as what we create inside our heads.
Observing nature is something I find enjoyable, though.
I'm INTP but don't know if I'm schzoid I can have intense emotions I just have no desire to start relationships even though I want them.
I just want to be inside my computer already.
>>29082006
>/merely piloting your body/
Sometimes it really feels that way, when I'm doing what I have to do and talking to people.
Although it happens that I can enjoy moments occasionally and can interact normally in a way that I assume is natural. It's quite rare and leaves me really tired afterwards.
Are you in the same case?
>>29082133
>Observing nature is something I find enjoyable, though.
Absolutely. I think it has to do with the fact that we can project ourselves onto nature without worrying about translation and interpretation errors. People are very messy and irrational.
>>29082167
Schizoid doesn't mean you're a machine.
>a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may simultaneously demonstrate a rich, elaborate and exclusively internal fantasy world.
That accurately describe a lot of INTPs and ISTPs
>>29082242
>rich, elaborate and exclusively internal fantasy world
I have that symptom pretty bad, I guess it's a plus side since I am never bored I can always create some daydream where I am happy.
My dad bought me a new laptop and I just could feel excitement or express it.
It sucked to see him like he didn't do enough.
I fucking hate being a robot sometimes.
>>29082057
>tfw feelsy family who wants you to reciprocate feels
>tfw used to ignore them but realized the ethical necessity and material benefit of pretending to be feelsy
>tfw still can't remember when you last did an actual feel
>>29082104
I'm a schizophrenic too.
The pills make me stop hearing and thinking shit but I still feel empty and un-human and want to kill myself.
>>29082219
I can enjoy things and interact with people all the way, but it always feels like there's some sort of barrier, or disconnect between me and the world/people that prevents me from fully feeling/enjoying things or persons. Like your mind is sort of separate from the world, merely an observer that's not able to really take part in the world.
>>29082220
That's exactly it. Nature doesn't require any kind of intervention, it's just there for you to experience.
I've thought about doing things that might get me closer to nature (hiking, camping, maybe even climbing) but I don't know if it's worth it. I probably won't ever be motivated enough to actually do it anyways, but it seems like such activities would be enjoyable to people like us.
>>29081612
>>29082006
>>/merely piloting your body/
life is like a flat circle
>>29082133
I've given up trying to find my "thing" in this world. I've been trying lots of hobbies and attending different social events to try a bit of everything, but nothing has ever stuck.
all these posts conveying such abstract feels
>tfw idktf
Anyone else pretend like they're normal?
>>29081917
yeah my inner fictional world is the only thing that makes me feel. that and book characters.
>tfw only feel empathy towards fictional characters but not real people
>>29082340
Like you're unable to fundamentally connect to them in the way they connect to each other? I get that. It's like we're here, interacting and enjoying the event, but at the same time, the deeper parts of us are completely detached from it.
>>29082349
If you ever have the time/money, I'd say do the planning and go for it without a second thought. It's practically the only time you could ever be completely alone, and for people like us, that's a dream in itself.
>>29082363
At the same time, being indifferent has its upsides. I go with the flow and am very adaptable, whereas other people complain about meaningless things all the time.
>>29082407
>>29082297
Exactly that. All "feelings" I display are purely for the satisfaction of people around me.
It's like the cliche of laughing at your bosses shit jokes.
>>29082492
Now you're making me feel feels I didn't know were possible.
It's all true.
>>29082384
Well, that's too bad. Have you tried activities in nature like I mentioned in >>29082349?
>>29082429
Same here. Fictional characters are more compelling because you can live through them, I guess?
>>29082473
True. Being completely alone and free to just contemplate nature seems like it would be a great experience.
I often daydream about being in the desert and just walking endlessly.
>>29082337
I kind of want to stop taking my meds but I'd get in a lot of trouble. But at least would feel like my life had meaning with all the demonic conspiracies in my head. Being the chosen one. Antipsychotics are shit. You can't feel any pleasure anymore, you are a hollow shell.
>tfw no desire for gf because no woman will ever be as lovable as the perfect being I can create in my fantasies
Still feel horny though
I'd like to get rid of my sex drive
>>29082456
Detached is a good word. I'm not a sperg and can flirt, joke and interact with people just fine and I'm apparently quite entertaining to be around but it's like all that stuff is merely my body acting on itself and the mind sorta separate and observing. Feelings feel like they are more of a physical thing that happens to the body rather than the mind.
>>29082384
Someone in the INTP thread yesterday said that having a few hobbies you cycle between, even if they get boring, is a good idea. I guess that's our curse, though. Being able to do anything and ending up doing nothing.
Tfw infp and schizotypal
>INTP
>Score 100% Schizoid consistently on mental disorder tests online
>literally only thing keeping me going right now is the promise of money from work, escapism through media, and insane sexual frustration
>no plans for the future or ideas as to how or what I'm going to do with my life
Feels alright I guess
>>29082643
Do you feel like you're watching a first -person video of yourself with about a half-second delay?
Like, your brain is receiving too much information, and is trying to filter it all out?
What's the difference between being schizoid and being depressed?
>>29082576
I will definitely give that a try. Especially since it's basically summer.
>>29082715
Depressed people still feel connected with other people while schizoids have no want to be with other humans and often have complex fantasy worlds in their own mind.
>>29082704
>Like, your brain is receiving too much information, and is trying to filter it all out?
Nah not really, but sometimes it feels like my body acts on its own and I'm just along for the ride so to say
>>29082704
>your brain is receiving too much information, and is trying to filter it all out?
Not the same guy, and I don't know if it's related, but sometimes when I'm in a crowded place, it feels like my brain just shifts its focus and I feel overwhelmed by the information, unable to focus on one thing. It's hard to explain.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
My family is always confronting me about my lack of interest in things and wants me to do stuff.
Should I tell them about SPD so that they leave me alone or would that lead to more problems?
>>29082776
Yes, I'm exactly like this. My therapist put it down to Agoraphobia.
I feel foggy and detached in public spaces, and unable to take in all of what is going on around me.
My main goal is always to get back to somewhere quiet to make the symptoms disappear.
With some cognative behaviour therapy I was able to identify the triggers, what to avoid doing and how to manage/minimise it.
Now I only get it if I'm under stress.
>>29082858
If you tell them about SPD it shouldn't be with the view of making them leave you alone. Although, you shouldn't actually tell them at all unless you've been diagnosed. You could be depressed, lethargic, feeling overcrowded by them -- any number of things that are not SPD. If you are financially independent you are not necessarily obliged to do things with them. However, if you still live at home, it is your duty to engage once in a while and at least keep up a facade of giving half a shit about being part of a family.
>>29082704
>first -person video of yourself with about a half-second delay
that's interesting
>>29082643
Oh ok. I don't think I do the same thing.
In a social context, I usually shift between two states, the more spontaneous, "socially normal" behavior, and my normal behavior, the former not necessarily being forced, but unauthentic nonetheless.
>>29082973
>it shouldn't be with the view of making them leave you alone
Why?
I want them to understand and be ok with me not being particularly interested in anything. Right now they think I'm depressed.
I still engage in some activities with them, of course. I just want them to stop worrying, and to be left alone as a consequence
>>29082640
this, so true
intp schizoid here as well, this thread hits home
>>29081851
>>29081755
INTP reporting in. I have feels sometimes. I'm probably borderline schizoid because 95% of the time I'm only faking emotions in public
life be like
>calculating appropriate response
>...
>does not compute
>>29082715
you can be both, major depression generally involves more feelings of worthlessness / other shite while schizoid is more so indifference
dysthymic schizoids are very common though
>>29082006
that describes me so well
i'm really skinny and weak and live a sedentary neet lifestyle so i basically have to stand manually
when i see extrovert duracell bunnies who actually enjoy moving and are in sync with their bodies when i'm mostly thinking and stuff inside my head
>>29083223
do what i did man. take up lifting weights.
im naturally athletic, at least physically, but the mental connection was never there. like im wired wrong. so i took up weightlifting instead because you can just intellectually decide what the proper form and position is before lifting up the weight and putting it down. it keeps me in shape and it breaks the monotony of shitposting. literally no one will care if you go into the gym and start deadling 65lbs, just do you at your own pace. no pressure at all
>>29083096
>I just want them to stop worrying, and to be left alone as a consequence
They're going to worry about you as long as they don't see that you're pursuing/passionate about anything. I have the same issue. Do you live at home, though? Do you work? These are the two very important things that will decide whether or not you can get your family to stop nagging. They want to see you thrive, but they will always have doubts if you are actually doing nothing.
I often fantasize about being completely alone in a vast, unknown world and wandering through it forever.
What are your escapist daydreams like, anons?
>>29081612
I am soon going to get an officiall diagnose regarding this, but so far i think i already Know the result
>>29083296
I live at home and I'm a student.
I'd like to move to another country and live a quiet, modest life there but it'll never happen, I don't know what I should do.
>>29081612
A lot of stuff I read about INTP types fits me but most tests tell me I'm ISTP (and some ISTP stuff fits me as well)
What does it mean
>>29083322
Exactly that, actually.
Reminds me of when an acquaintance would ask "Do you want to live forever" or "If you were the last person on Earth what would you do", and they'd be terrified at the idea of being the only person on Earth, while I found the idea somewhat attractive.
>>29083572
You should read a book called the Gunslinger, it's about a man who travels alone in a wasteland for decades searching for a certain place. I found it very enjoyable
The rest of the saga is bad though, the first book is the only one worth reading
>>29083322
>>29083572
this
my dream is a postapocalyptic world where i'm the only one left
i feel bad because i see normans happy and stuff not having them would mean i'm pretty chill and because no one else is there to maintain electric power and development behind i wouldn't have to be mad at not having been born in a cool cyberpunk future because it will never happen so when my end finally comes i'm not bitter anymore
i'm not afraid of death and stuff but i'm angry that it's going to come one day and snuff me out and i'll never get to see starships on fire off the shoulder of orion
i'm like hc tier nihilist there's so many things i wish i could do like shit i'd love to spend a year in fucking swaziland or some shit but there's hundreds of countries more significant than that and i can't even spend more than a week at once in them because i would have to work 50 weeks a year if i wanted the money to travel
>>29083368
Being a student is good. Maybe you can get away with the "hardworking diligence" thing and say you're just really focused on school. At least your family doesn't have to worry *so much* about you at the moment.
It takes a bit of planning to move to another country though. I'd recommend getting your degree so that you have opportunities for things like AmeriCorps and teaching English overseas, if nothing else. You could also do a foreign exchange program.
Since you are still in school, you might want to network with others based on your major and possible interests. I've been "saved" a few times when out of work, because someone who thought I was smart and capable vouched for me at their job. Relations like these are the easiest to maintain because you can center them around intellectual activities and contribute to a project/idea without becoming too bored.
Anyway. Sorry I went off on a bit of a tangent there. I guess what I meant to say is that you can find a few extracurricular activities, which have the benefit of making your family worry less and also setting you up for an easier financial future. But you sound like you're doing alright now for the most part.
>>29081612
I'm dead on the inside. I only smile and laugh to amuse other people and when they look away I instantly go back to my emotionless face.
If only some kind human being would give me a gun so I could escape this endless suffering.
>>29082167
>I just have no desire to start relationships even though I want them.
opposite i like to start relationships but i never want them in the end. I really do only want what i cant have. INTP but over the last year i've gotten better at making quality small talk and making people enjoy talking to me. But only women, i cant talk to other guys for the life of me.
>>29083724
Thanks for the advice anon, I appreciate it.
My family knows I'm not interested in my field of study and I haven't applied myself this year so I'll be repeating the year.
I'm not American so I won't have to take out a loan or anything, but they're still pretty disappointed.
I'd like to move to the midwestern US ideally, but it seems extremely difficult.
You're right though, I should probably focus on work right now and ensuring that I get a job once graduating. I just don't feel motivated at all.
>>29083798
>But only women, i cant talk to other guys for the life of me.
Sounds like you might be INFx. Do you get anxious when you think about male dominance games?
>>29082290
Literally force yourself to act genuine enough times and you will do on instinct you will actually think you're happy. Tell yourself you're happy enough times while you do it and you will forget you don't actually care about something.
>>29083724
>Being a student is good. Maybe you can get away with the "hardworking diligence" thing and say you're just really focused on school.
Good advice, i work 40 hours a week with 18 units a semester (college). It really saves you from thinking too much when you don't have the time to do it. I've filled my summer semester with classes and hours for work so i can just stay busy until college is finished. I have no clue what i will do after school is finished, i don't like volunteering because i need to feel like i'm working towards a goal to feel satisfied with myself.
>>29081612
INTP and schizoid as well.
I don't feel empty though. I think all I need to be happy is meditation, then the rest will just happen as consequence.
>>29081612
>INTP's self diagnosing themselves with a made up personality disorder that was voted into existence at a convention
Can't stand other INTP's
>>29083826
>I'd like to move to the midwestern US ideally, but it seems extremely difficult.
Well shit, if your major is applicable to technology you could probably come here on an H1-B no problem. They'll likely pay you less but you get to stay in the US and can shift companies depending on experience. Tons of native workers are being laid off in favor of foreigners. And we have tech startups, server farms, shit like that opening up all over the place. Midwest US, especially Texas, is great for tech.
I hope it works out for you. Gotta give you the obligatory "wish I stayed in school" spiel too, because my life would be a lot easier if I had dealt with the endless apathy and kept chugging away instead of doing whatever I wanted only to find new hobbies a month or so later. Ability only gets you so far, and that's all I've really had to work with since I dropped out of college.
If you ever find your way to the states, let a nigga know, aye? We'll grab some drinks at a bar, stare off into space, play some pool, and never talk to each other again :)
>>29081612
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4jfjjH7itc
>>29084155
Unfortunately I'm doing economics.
It's not like I have high standards anyway, I'd be ok with working at a warehouse or whatever as long as it allowed me to live in the US.
Thanks a lot man. I'll try to apply myself this year and hopefully get good enough results. In what state do you live? If I ever make it to America I'd love to share a drink with another anon.
>>29084210
dope
62628949814561651
>>29084218
Economics is a pretty great major. Marketing, logistics, management. Awesome business potential.
No problem, I'm glad I could be of some assistance. I'm in Arizona, you might have heard it is hotter than shit and we are all melting right now! What country are you from man?
same thing to me too, i am a student, i still feel the tfw no gf, well when i was in high school i had some feels for a girl, but when i was with her it was like i could not make a move, i am not that shy, i just do not care, i tough that the girl i liked was something i created inside my head and i was just projecting that tought on a person, mstly like all people do right?, but i do not know.
right now i feel emptier by the day, i am trying to get my degree, i am still in the first year but second semester, i could do the first with shitty grades, but i do not know how i will hold it up if i keep like this.
at least i have some feels inside my head, most people need to suffer to get those, i just feel emptiness, i do not know what is worse.
sorry for the blogpost
>>29084650
Really? I did it because I had no other ideas. So there are employment opportunities for that major?
>Arizona
I was told it was one of the best states to live in. You guys have great scenery, (relatively) nice weather and good gun laws, right? Seems like a nice place.
I'm from France. It's pretty bad here, and getting worse and worse, unfortunately.
>>29083457
you're a depressed ISTP
>>29084766
hey i live in france and i dont understand what you're meaning when you say it's pretty bad here. i feel like our country is making prety well...
>>29084832
Well I guess a lot of countries have it worse for sure, but it's still far from optimal. Politics aside, there's a huge lack of opportunities and the country is stagnating and not open to change.
What city are you from?
>>29084819
How do you figure
blox
>>29084874
i live in aix, what about you ?
you're right about this, like you said i would gladly go to US but it looks like so hard...
im waiting the answer to your question :
>So there are employment opportunities for that major?
hope he didn't get away
>>29084990
Paris.
Aix is a nice city, you're pretty lucky.
Are you studying economics as well?
>>29085025
Yeah and I'm studying economics for the same reasons as yours, didn't know what else to do.
But it's pretty interesting currently (L2) isn't it ?
I mean there is a few math, a few psychology a few sociology... I just wonder if we will be able to work, you know a real job, when we just have theoretical knowledge
>>29085181
I noticed a lot of people do econ just because they have no actual interests.
And I'm not in L2 yet, so the only thing I've experienced up to now is boring theoretical math and Keynesian shit, it's not very interesting. Hopefully it gets better later on.
I don't know about the employment prospects, I guess that with a master's from a good university, it shouldn't be too hard to find a decent job. Finding one in the US is another story, though.
>>29084100
How is it made up?
How would you call schizoid behavior then?
>>29084703
ik all tf bro
> when i was with her it was like i could not make a move, i am not that shy, i just do not care, i tough that the girl i liked was something i created inside my head and i was just projecting that tought on a person
i do this and i think its the truth though. i feel like the fantasy is more interesting and romantic than getting her and finding out just how boring and flawed she really is.. maybe im tired of finding that out about things and i prefer to keep my fantasies. maybe i do an effort/reward equation and know that it'll probably fuck me up and not be worth it regardless.. in fact im probably doing that equation on everything in life and thats why i take no action and want nothing, because the suffering always outweighs the joys.
sometimes i blow myself out with girls because i want to fit some sad narrative story.. like "she got away and i got left in the gutter" story is somehow preferable. probably just self sabotage i guess
either way im apathetic and empty as fuck about everything
>>29084819
Chronically depressed ISTPs = INTPS
>>29085724
this is not how it works
>>29085886
I was joking but it can be perceived that way
