/mischief/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Who here is /mischief/?
>Be me earlier today
>Gotta recycle at restaurant
>Bring all the bottles to grocer
>Large Sorted Dumpster in lot
>Start throwing bottles in Brown Glass
>Get such a high from shit breaking
>Start throwing all the bottles in there
>ohshit.jpeg
>Never sorted the fuckers out
>say fuck it and went back to work
>mfw
>Go to wal*mart
>Buy some desktop PC
>Take it home
>Change RAM, graphics card, and hard drive out for cheaper shit
>Return it
>Wagecuck employees doesn't know how to check
>Sell parts on eBay
I have more /mischief/ stories if anyone wants to hear them.
>>29064424
You are a sneaky bastard, I like you
>>29064311
>took a massive shit at McDonalds
>flushed half a roll of toilet paper down
>super fucking clogged
>go to order
>see employee walking in with plunger 10 minutes later
O Olavo eh meu amigo
>take a big shit in hospital restroom
>don't flush
>squirt a bunch of the soap on the floor
>wash hands and flick the water on mirror
>dry hands and toss paper on the ground
>Drive through neighboring suburbs
>Steal BBQ's, kids bikes, out door furniture etc that are in plain view
>Grind serial numbers off and repaint them
>Sell them on the local classifieds
>>29064557
>>29065391
FUCK YOU
I'm a retail janitor in a nigger part of town and I have to deal with this shit every fucking week. Go perpetrate your /mischief/ on some rich chads, not robot janitors
>>29064424
I hope you get aids you little immigrant
>>29065415
>kids bikes
Stop that
>Buy a universal remote kit
>Computer lab at school uses a tv rather than a projector
>turn it on and off while the teacher isn't looking
>go into a brew pub
>sit down facing a TV with a game on
>do the obvious thing
>spanish teacher next year is hated by chads, normies, and anons across the land
>lay low for a quarter
>biding my time
>let her sort out her list of chads to hate
>TV in the back of the class is plugged in
>mutual hatred has been cultivated between the chads sitting around me and the withered crone standing at the front of the room
>I am but a benign little shiitake among a sea of amanita muscaria
>bring in the remote
>today marks the advent of the Anon Dynasty
>press the button
>wait as the remote runs through all of the TV frequencies
>the sound of an old CRT firing up silences the class
>COMO hablar ESPANOL? Nah. This is a PROMO to meet your WEIGHT LOSS GOAL
>Continue this shit for the rest of the year
>Only once does this greentext's old hag with the mexican flag suspect me
>I turn the TV on with the remote under my desk
>She catches a glimpse
>Ancient Crone asks for Anon's Phone
>Tell her it was my iPod
>Show her the iPod, then put it away
>Chads start to hit the class with Liquid Ass
>I am forever off her radar
Leaned about what an online attention whore this roastie is who is using a friend of mine as a beta orbiter.
Gonna be a fun day to spill the beans about this.
>be at wagecuck pet store job
>in charge of trash at night
>toss out 50lb expensive as shit dog food bags in the dumpster
>pick them up after closing
>save a few for my dog, sell the rest
>>29065415
Samsquantch!!!!
>>29066463
You're lucky my shit made it into the bowl.
>be in middle school
>shit all over the floor
>break the seat partway off
>flush paper from the wall into the toiler
I've mellowed out somewhat
>>29064311
>go to drive through of restaurant
>wagecuck tells me my order will be $17
>pull out a $10, a $5, and two $1s
>oops, ripped one of the $1s in half
>fold it all up, hand it to guy at window without saying thing
>he starts unfolding the money counting it
>gets to the ripped dollar and half of it falls in the floor
>he leans out the window and tells me he cant take this
>tell him "why the fuck did you rip it up?"
>he says it was already like that
>"it was a whole dollar when i gave it to you do you always tear up peoples money what the fuck"
>he leans back in and just puts the money in the register as they're bringing my food over
>he hands it to me and tells me to have a nice day
keikaku doori
>>29066982
>I am but a benign little shiitake among a sea of amanita muscaria
kek
>>29064424
>>29065415
>>29067179
I'm about to get my hustle on
>>29065415
>kids bikes
of all the things, you steal children's bikes too, like a nigger.
come on now, steal other shit, but not a kid's joy and fun
>>29067633
>Shitting on floor
>Breaking things
Yup, that's autism.
>>29067179
smart as fug, f a m
>fap
>jizz on your hands
>rub the jizz on your stepmom's unused panties
>>29066667
>implying robots weren't bullied by the normalfag kids who rode bikes
Kill yourself Norman
>in highschool
>always sneak into the girls bathroom to fap and smear jizz on the toilet paper rolls
>>29068051
>tfw fapping under your hoodie during class
>>29067748
>Wagecucks in this thread will scream at you for this
>>29064311
>Be Asshole Faggot
>Capitalize Every Word In Post
>Don't Actually Mischief And Instead, Be A Faggot
Who Am I?
>>29065391
Making a mess for others wow edgy faggot kill yourself
>>29068362
I'm just giving those janitors something to do. They probably think its funny when they find a toiler bowl full of corny shit.
>>29067967
That's how I got an imouto.
>work at cafe/restaurant
>costumer dines and pays
>don't write ticket
>keep the money as tip
was pretty easy and i dont feel bad because the owner was a prick
>at McDonalds
>kikes running the place charge for dipping sauce
>this rustles me greatly
>go back the next day with a bottle of jalapeno ketchup
>get my order
>sit nearest the counter so those assholes can see me
>pull ketchup bottle from my jacket
>slam it on the table so hard that everyone looks up at me
>manager who looks like the hated principle of a middle school comes over
>"you can't bring food in here, sir"
>tell him it's not food
>he scoffs at me and walks way
>finish my meal
>go to the soda machine and overfill cup so that it starts splashing everywhere
>walk straight to the trash and toss the full drink in without taking a sip
take that, bitches
>>29068665
Hahha that reminds me
>hated job at deli counter, quit
>last day
>override the prices for customers I liked so they were paying $0.05 a kilo for fresh salmon and free range chicken and shit
>>29068772
You wouldn't dare.
>>29066982
Your story is similar to mine :^)
>Be me.
>Way back in the nein-th grade.
>All of my elective classes take place in the computer lab.
>Never do work, just fuck around.
>Try to get admin so I can download vidya.
>AdminPassword.jpg
>No prevail.
>Assignment where we make a commercial.
>There is a filming room where they film morning announcements, then broadcast it through CCTV. library is connected by a hallway.
>Librarian is an idiot, and gone.
>Find sticky note on the librarian's desk with admin credentials.
>Install shit, and bypass filter to look at shit that was auto-blocked because the thing we used searched for stuff with just single words eg. Games.
>want more
>lots more
>WANT MASSIVE HIJINKS
>Install Cain.
>Fuck with people's computers.
>Spam shit on the keyboard.
>Open Notepad and talk to them about how I'm a ghost trapped in the computer or something.
>Make windows freakout.
>Hold shift randomly.
>Copy and paste icons randomly.
>You name it I did it, never caught.
>People talking about random computer fuckery, and eventually conclude it's a hacker.
>Honestly I'm just messing around to a larger extent.
>FF to June, last week.
>Gotta go out with a bang.
>Spam onscreen messages on every computer by running a program in the school's shared folder.
>Every computer FUCKING CRASHES.
>THE WHOLE SCHOOL'S LIGHTS GO OUT.
>Turns out the school got a high tech automation system that ran in the background of someone's computer.
>People screaming and laughing.
>Every legend confirmed about the hacker.
As unbelievable as it is, it's true, everybody except the students just thought it was an outage because our city had a lot.
>be me
>actively trying to cuck my friend by stealing his gf
>i think it's working
He's acting more protective and distrusting of me while all our other friends think he's being crazy and i'm not doing anything wrong
spoiler alert: i'm doing wrong stuff
>>29069337
ya devious
>>29064311
> picking up dog poo with stick
> throwing it through window into the homes of people
>>29066982
you are a god!
>definately a 100% oregano comment plz dont ban
>>29067308
Lol fuckin caveman not a samsquatch
>>29068482
autistic fag
>>29069663
Was your mom a janitor or something?
>Neighbour is listening to music when its past 10pm
>call the cops on him
>back in college
>roomate smokes weed
>rat him out multiple times and each time convince him that it wasnt me
>same roomate
>tickle your asshole with his toothbrush
>he never realises that his toothbrush is full of my assparticles
>>29064557
wagecuck
BTFO
T
F
O
>at mcdickles
>"sorry we're only accepting cash right now, is that okay?" (it's just after midnight on a friday)
>uhh sure
>order doublequarblepounger, extra cheese, and a double cheeseburg, extra cheese
>have $1 in my wallet, $13 in quarters and dimes
>take my grimy car change wagie
>somebody got dubs on [s4s]
>didn't check them
>>29065391
>squirt a bunch of soap on the floor
Not cool.
>>29069337
why are you even ON R9K
CHAAAAAD
>>29064424
>fiendish my familia
>>29070616
sometimes I wonder how many people actually use s4s.
When thinking about it, it seems like it must be pretty widely used, as evidenced by the fact that some threads get hundreds of unique posters, but it still always feels like a dozen or a couple dozen anonymous and a few namefags
>change upc code on products and return for full price
>walking home
>women smiles at me
>don't smile back
>Cashier at supermarket tells me to have a good day
>i say; 'I won't'
>Car stops for so i can cross the road
>Don't thank Driver
how /devilish/ am i?
>>29068081
>
I'm genuinely curious did anyone actually do this shit?
>Is pepsi ok?
no
>>29070684
Jesus Christ don't cut yourself on that edge!
>order dominos pizza under fake name "James Russel"
>make several pizzas with stuffed crusts and all the toppings
>select "pay upon collection"
>never collect the pizzas
>>29064424
I wish I was smart enough to come up with that
>>29068813
I find this really hard to believe, but on the off-chance that it's completely true this is some god-tier devilishness
>>29068678
thanks for the kek
oregano
>order large soda at theaters
>sit through movie and finish half my soda
>it's watered down and warm now so I decided to toss it
>exit theater room and walk down the hallway
>see a coke cola glass shipped trash bin and it assumed it was for cups when it was for cans/bottles
>stuff large soda in the little hole
>Doesnt fit
>it's an angle so soda spills out
>shits budged
>leave it alone and exit theater without bothering to remove it
>>29064311
>driving by some catholic christian gathering blasting nasheeds from my car stereo
>gf comes over for the weekend
>fap to shotacon while she is cleaning my kitchen
Feels sneaky.
>>29064424
give an example of what you replaced it with
>working shitty retail job
>customers can get cash back from my till
>cash back is the last step so by the time the prompt comes up most people think they are done and just walk away
>a few times per day I have to reach around and press the "none" button just to end the transaction
>put in my two weeks notice
>when ever this happens I press the $40 button
>no one ever notices because the kind of people who walk away don't want their reciept
>over the course of those two weeks steal ~$800
>never caught
>parents ask if i'm okay
>depressed with suicidal ideation
>"I'm fine"
>>29068101
BAF CEWIP DAMAIBAF
>>29070711
i did once and nobody caught me
don't regret it but don't recommend it either
>>29065415
I hope you get caught you fuckin peice of shit.
>>29068039
>Implying having a bike = being a normalfag
How poor is your family anon?
>>29068813
Similar story here
> copy and paste every folder in the school's shared student directory
> keep doing it for entire 40 minute period
> computer keeps getting slower and is struggling to keep up
> computer freezes and I leave to go do some other shit
> go back to computer lab the next day and find out the whole school district's servers got overloaded
>mfw the old roastie who sat on her ass all day doing nothing in the computer lab got reprimanded
