ITT: Pathetic shit we do.
>Before I go to bed at night, I whisper to myself a scenario where I'm in bed with a girl who cares about me and talks back to me
>Makes me feel better, then I cry knowing I'll never have an experience like this.
Post your pathetic shit, robots.
>talk to imaginary cartoon animals in my head
I'm a grown man
I have a stuffed 4-foot shark that I bought on impulse at Ikea that I sometimes cuddle with at night.
>>29060622
Do you talk out loud?
>>29060590
MY FUCKING GOD!!!!
I do the same, like have long ass imaginary conversations with girls until I fall asleep. I thought I was the only one.
The day will come, brobot!
>>29060750
Never ever do i do that
>>29060800
>>29060590
It's not just you two either. I do the same.
>>29060892
I even cuddle the fucking pillow.
It may sound pathetic as fuck bit it's helped me get to the answer to a lot of questions I have in my head.
>>29060747
Shiro's blahaj?
>select boats
Lol you guys still don't have me beat
>>29060973
>>29060892
>>29060800
One day it'll come, or in our next life...I hope.
I rehearse arguments with SJWs in my head when I'm home alone, and I sometimes say them out loud to see how they'd sound. Sometimes to the point where I even do it in my bathroom mirror. I have never met a SJW in real life.
>>29060590
>See girl
>Imagine entire life together
>Oops, that would never happen, imagine betrayal or abandonment
>Why am I doing this
>Go back inside
>>29060590
Is that Elliot?
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>29060590
i do the same except i don't whisper i only thinkk about it
>>29060590
>>29060800
I do the same and I talk out loud. In fact now it's gotten to the point of basically being a tulpa because I am constantly talking to her when alone and in my mind we're brother and sister. I've honestly never been happier.
>>29060590
I'm so pathetic that I imagine doing girlfriend-y stuff all the time. I like to think about spooning then being kissed lightly on my ear.
sometimes when i'm driving, i imagine my online friend sitting in the passenger seat and singing with me to the sad love songs that make me think of them
or just talking and laughing and feeling awkward
then i look at the empty passenger seat and feel shame
>>29061927
>>29061990
>>29061887
>>29061850
I feel less alone now.
>>29060590
I pretend im being interviewed by someone because im a famous celebrity/rapper/politician/intellectual
>>29062311
I thought I was the only one who did this!
I did this even way before I discovered this place too.
I have pretend therapy sessions with myself (using psych books I've half read as a guide) because I'm too anxious to seek actual help
Late at night I used to go under my quilt and pretend it was a futuristic softshell underwater survival enclosure, and that I was at the bottom of the deepest ocean, and that I had to stay down there for months at a time, taking logs and various readings.
I would pretend I was the only one capable being in complete darkness and completely alone for such long periods of time, and that I was being paid massive amounts of money to do it, but wouldn't be going home for a long time.
I would whisper these logs as if into a microphone with my quilt pressed against my face imagining the unknown of the black ocean was an inch away from my face on the other side. It was pretty cool. I use to do that a lot.
I think of common typos people might have made when uploading porn and make sure to include them in my search.
>>29060747
>tfw no shark to snuggle
>while I'm laying down trying to sleep I role-playing being in my favorite VN with various girls from it.
>I also do this in the shower and pretend they're with me in there
>I cover a couple pillows with an extra blanket and cuddle it while pretending it's my VN waifu
I have others but I'm already cringing at myself
>>29062426
that used to be a good way to get cheaper shit on ebay too
>>29062407
I'm going to try this holy shit.
I watch interracial porn like BLACKED but I don't have a cuck fetish. I self-insert as the black guy and get off on the idea of defiling a white girl. I am white with blonde hair.
>tfw I will never be a real nigga
I speak alone. I look in the mirror when I do sometimes. I have hour long monologues about life. I speak in English even though I've never been in an English speaking country in my life.
I even laugh and cry when I do and sometimes I start screaming. I don't know if other people do this. Maybe it's normal.
I imagine I am in a relationship with Jessica from Contagion. I remember I was on my way home from a trip and I stopped at a motel it was very cold that night, I imagined Jessica and I clearing out the abandoned motel of zombies then cuddling under the covers. I heard a couple in the next room having sex and their sounds aroused me so I jacked off imagining me and Jessica making love and promising to always protect her. Then I remembered she wasn't real and started crying until I fell asleep. When I woke up my phone was ringing I picked it up and my dad said hey happy 26th birthday son. I said thanks and I love you, bye dad. Then I drove home.
I met a girl on Reddit who I started doing just dirty stuff with, but now we text and skype so much it's like we're in a real relationship with each other
>>29062540
I remember you man. Keep at it if it makes you happy.
I've been in love with a fictional woman for two years.
I cuddle a pillow every night, pretending it's her.
I sing about my cat out loud all the time. I've done it so often for so long my family doesn't even notice it.
I just take the tune of any song and replace the words with my cat's name, and rhyming words like fat and cat. I'll just do this all the fucking time.
It's really simple and stupid, but always a different tune from a different song.
It will be like "I love my big cat, because he's fat, and he's my big fat cat" to like Linkin Park. He's not even fat.
I live at home while in uni and have zero friends. I tell my parents I'm going out with friends then just spend the night , or day, alone in my car, shit posting and watching Netflix on my phone. Sometimes I'll go to a movie, to eat, go to a park etc. Sitting on beach by myself smoking a joint while my parents think I'm out with friends right now actually.
>>29062674
I do this with my pug
>>29062685
I was in a dorm freshman year of college and lived in an apartment the next 3 years (each with 3 other roommates) and still never had any friends
>>29060590
I sometimes read stuff out loud if nobody's at home, i think to myself out loud as well. When i was younger i had imaginary friends and would talk to myself when i was about to sleep and my parents knew about this.
>>29060590
I sit on the toilet for like 30 minutes at a time making up grandiose stories of epic proportions with intricate plot lines, astounding lengths of time and history, and great heroes of many different worlds, who work together to save the universe again and again.
I do this and always add on something new to my universe every time I shit.
I've even written out on paper the linage of some characters and their ancestors many lives, and illustrated what some of these alien creatures would look like.
I imagine expansive bureaucratic relations between different races and how they all fit together in the social order of the galaxy.
I do this for years at a time.
Then I realize i'm a pathetic faggot living in a fantasy world and start over, leaving everything behind to fade to nothing in my head.
>>29060590
I do that too, but I wish that was the least of my worries again. Turns out normies are right; there really are fates worse than virginity.
>talk to a girl once
>imagine life together
I daydream about being a professional wrestler cuddling with my qt wife.
I will usually cuddle with my body pillow a few minutes during this
>>29062807
I do this toothis comment is original
>>29062463
who is your vn waifu?
I post on dying threads and expect to get (You)'s and I never do
i lay in bed staring at the dark ceiling, caressing my chest thinking its a girl doing it
>>29062999
Those trips will get you a few.
>>29062999
Nice trips, anon! You did well.
>>29063023
>>29063030
Fate must be on my side tonight. Never gotten trips before.
>>29062999
I know that feeling, the vast majority of my posts are the last in each thread.
Also, nice numbers
I've been laying in bed jerking off all morning, just cumming all over my sheets.
>>29062999
>post in a very active thread
>suddenly no more posts after yours
>gets archived
every time
>>29062982Emi Ibarazaki from KS.
I have multiple fake friends that i have made up, each with their own personalities, names, and interests, as well as a story about how I met them just so I can tell my parents stories about stuff we do together so they don't think I'm completely friendless.
>>29060590
>>29060800
>try and imagine myself in a scenario where I'm loved/wanted/etc
>can never get it right, always turns into me imagining myself being abused, I guess out of pity for myself
One example is where it turned into my lover slowly poisoning my drinks behind my back and I slowly turned sicker and frailer day by day without knowing, that type of shit.
>>29063462
This is a dark place
Il comentario originale
I remember my past mistakes and awkward ways I've acted and every now and again and physically react. While I'm alone or driving mostly.
I fantasize about arranging running into women I used to have a thing for and pretending it was somehow coincidence or fate that led me to her but in these scenarios the girl believes it and falls in love with me based on the idea of divine intervention.
I also scope out the cutest cashiers at the grocery store and avoid their line.
>>29060590
Lie to myself.
>>29062787
Instead of just thinking it you ought to write it down. It's easier than ever to publish a book and no one has to know you wrote it on the shutter.
Seriously, that's something you could turn from pathetic to profitable.
>>29063823
This is sadly what I do, and the imagining a girl next to me in bed. Tfw when don't want to wake up on my own anymore.
>>29062407
that's actually amazing
>>29062407
That's actually really cute anon. You have a nice imagination and I kind of want to try it.
>>29062407
woah this is actually pretty fucking cool
>>29060590
I jerked off in the bathroom at work today. It's the first time I've ever jerked off at a place that wasn't my home. I feel like I've crossed a line here. My ability to control my urges is deteriorating. I'm kinda worried about what happens after this
I roleplay on MMOs on other games. I wouldn't say its pathetic. It's cool as fuck.
>>29064278
Not much dude. I've done it before but thinking back on it I've never done it at a job I was satisfied with and really wanted to keep.
Doing that sort of thing at work just shows your complacent there. If I were you I'd start looking for better work. Just don't leave till you've found another job.
>>29062540
jessicaposter always brings a smile to my face
>>29062807
>>29062999
i also do this
>>29060590
I do the same thing. I have even thought of backstory of how we meet and everything. It depends on who I am modeling the imaginary gf on and just how pathetic I am feeling what the scenario is.
I don't have a body pillow like pic related, of course, but I do cuddle my pillow like it is her head and upper body, and I will conform the shape of my comforter to be her body and cuddle with it. When actually doing it, it doesn't usually occur to me just how pathetic it is, thankfully.
>>29063991
Me either bro :'(
Even though I can pass as normie in public I hardly even care to try fostering any new relationships. Like once someone tries to get to know I feel they'll see right through the facade.
Had lucid dreams where i could do whatever I wanted and just chose to hug girls
![[OZC]Gundam Reconguista in G E10 'Escape from the Territory' [720p].mkv_snapshot_10.52_[2015.07.02_00.48.37].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0yggbc2.jpg "[OZC]Gundam Reconguista in G E10 'Escape from the Territory' [720p].mkv_snapshot_10.52_[2015.07.02_00.48.37].jpg")
>>29064935
You fucked up. So many things you could have done and you chose to do something you can pay for?
>>29064998
i did something almost impossible for me though
>>29064777
>I don't have a body pillow like pic related, of course, but I do cuddle my pillow like it is her head and upper body, and I will conform the shape of my comforter to be her body and cuddle with it.
I do the same thing, tfw starved for intimacy
![[OZC]Gundam Reconguista in G E13 'Those Who Came From the Moon' [720p].mkv_snapshot_10.15_[2015.07.04_23.28.07].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/brwkzp6.jpg "[OZC]Gundam Reconguista in G E13 'Those Who Came From the Moon' [720p].mkv_snapshot_10.15_[2015.07.04_23.28.07].jpg")
>>29065039
The single fucking time I was able to get lucid while dreaming I woke up before I reached the cockpit.
And we have fuck ups like you squandering their dreams on trash like that.
>>29062999
u p s i d e
d o w n
s a t a n
t r i p s
>>29065081
dont worry, i get lucid pretty often. i teached myself to it
>>29065108
Have fun!
charcoal
>>29065175
why don't you learn to have lucid dreams if you like them so much?
>>29064998
I had sex in my lucid dream but I couldn't remember the feeling
I can't dream about anime for some reason, the only anime thing that I ever saw is Penguindrum's hat
>>29065208
I have tried plenty of times. I have even found a way to make it consistently work but I always wake up before doing anything.
>>29064998
>no Wuxia gunpla
>not even a Pbandai exclusive 1/114
>>29065279
Fuck wuxia I want muh Hecate
>>29065251
try rubbing your hands and touching things for a while before doing anything in a dream, it seems to "sink" you more into the dream world, and it also makes the dreams much more detailed.
>>29064801
I realised a while ago people see through that facade straight away, its more for us to get through. What's worse is its my fault I'm lonely, I just am.not consistent enough with new people, my only friends are ones patient enough for me to.ignore them for months at a time.
Sometimes I imagine that the people I talk to in class will ask me to hang out with them. Then I imagine that we will go out together and listen to cool music and I imagine cool jokes that I would say and that they would laugh at them and that we would go hike together and at one of our hangouts they would introduce me to a girl that has similar interests and I'll end up talking to her and saying witty things and she'll ask me out and then I'll have friends and a girlfriend and I'll be happy.
Then the people I talk to in class will post pictures of themselves on Instagram doing those things, without me.
This happens multiple times a day.
Every night I think about how people who react to finding out I killed myself. Imagine how each and everyone would react. Basically thinking about every last possible outcome from parents accepting the obvious, to watching my Dad go down a huge depression and him driving into a wall at 100 mph.
>>29062807
I do this too. The stories I imagine can get pretty long too. Sometimes I'll even do it with random girls I see on Facebook.
>>29065455
We are on the same boat, anon
Mah comment is original
>>29062638
>not based Anna
>Physically/emotionally abusive mom growing up
>Tons of shit relationships with women throughout life, no other female family members
>Play Undertale after reading /v/ flamewars on it
>Goat mom hits me right in the feels
>Buy a plush similar to pic from ebay for like $70 before the official one was even released
>Cuddle it every night
>>29065455
ive done this so much to the point in which i can predict whos going to be with who doing most likely what activity for the day
>>29066006
Undertale characters are the only hope I have for not killing myself
>>29060747
kingly, you are a great man
>>29062638
make a tulpa robotoro
>>29064032
how the fUCK is this original
(You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.)
My dad was an addict ti cocaine, he left it like 10 years ago. My mom have borderline. The used to do shit when I was young, throwing stuff, yelling and fighting due money and that shit parents always fight for but multiplied by 1000, you know, the crazy woman and the high man... I usually had dreams of a girl, in my dreams she said she love me, she was a freckled, chubby, grey eyed red head... I'm 19 and sometimes I think of her... If I will meet her in my life and cry like a baby.
>>29060747
>tfw Mommy found the cum shark
>>29065350
I swear, you and I are like kindred spirits.
I only keep a few friends at a time, people I feel are true friends but I'm hardly present in there lives day to day.
People don't see through my sociable disguise quickly really but I keep people who are interested at arms length long enough that they move on. I just have no idea what I'd do one on one with anyone.
What about you, man? What are your difficulties?
>>29062521
>>>/t/676926
check this out brother
every fucking time I go outside where there is decent amounts of people or to the store especially I will check missed connections like a faggot thinking some girl posted about me and I'm delusional in thinking this but I can't help myself
>>29062426
This is how I ended up finding one of my favorite guitars on an online music instrument site.
Great thread, we should have more of these.
Whenever someone tries to imply that i'm handsome, smart, talented, or anything positive, A small part of me wants to act angrily. Like, I just want to yell at them and say, "Shut up you fucking liar. I'm a worthless loser and that's all i ever will be. I'm nothing."
I get kinda tired of people lying to me and telling me i have good qualities when i clearly don't.
I jacked off to that no mercy video.
>thank you mistress Irene
>>29060590
In bed I wrap my own arms around me, like people do when they're faking making out with an imaginary person, then cuddle myself and stroke my hair and the back of my own head. I like to pretend it's some mother figure comforting me. It always some imaginary mother though as when I was growing up my real mum just used to tell me I was going to hell every night. Sometimes when you do it right it can really feel like another person.
I have a tulpa that i talk to more than actual people
>>29060590
i talk to myself. a lot.
every thing i do, while working, or some menial task, i narrate everything i do and begin explaining why i'm doing it as if someone is there to listen.
>>29067426
The usual things, can't handle groups or people. I tend to speak to someone for a while then drop them. And yes, irl I keep people at arms length, I wish I could be social, but I am weak. Good luck to you bro.
>>29060590
Everyday I cuddle with my pillow/sheets pretending its my oneitis
Also, I make up stories of how we end up in this situation
Thankfully I sleep before I can realize this is fucking pathetic
>>29062685
I do this all the time anon.
Shit sucks, but at the same time it's sobering.
>>29068084
me too anonoriginal comment
Before I go to bed I hope I don't wake up in the morning
>>29060590
I browse r9k.
Ravioli ravioli show me the jejeroni
>>29061216
this is what happens when you spend too much time on /pol/
>>29060622
They better be pink at least.
>>29062685
I've been doing this for 4 years. Just today I went to an anime convention by myself but I told my parents I was going with friends. After a while, I enjoyed my own company and I've made it a habit to drive around the city once a week and maybe stay at the library and read.
Because of this, if anyone asks me to join them in something, I'll say no because they're all annoying shits and I want to do what I want to do, not what some brain dead normie wants to do.
Sometimes I simulate killing myself. I've tied a belt to my hanger pole rack thingy and put my head through the opening I made and just hang there until my voice gets higher and I start seeing white stuff in my eyes. Then I untie the belt and fall to the floor. After that, I just lie on the floor for a few minutes, wondering why I didn't actually do it. I also tie the belt to my door knob sometimes too.
I've also talked to myself with an Alan Rickman voice. I lay in my bed for a while talking to "him" and "he" gives me pointers for life. Just a few days ago, "he" told me that the people who say something is impossible are probably the same people who never leave the comfort zone and take big risks. That was pretty inspirational desu senpai.
Someone needs to end me.
>>29064998
i want to learn how to lucid dream but im scared im just gonna experience nightmares every time
I bought a daki of my waifu about two years ago.
I live with two other guys and somehow they still don't know.
>>29061216
Living the ENTP life, I see. Keep going brother.
>>29060590
I talk to people at night. I talk to better-me.
Better-me is a version of me that doesn't go running once, but thrice a week, and actually managed to not eat junk food more than once a week, and is thusly swole.
Better-me went to see a therapist instead of thinking "nooo it'd destroy me", and is now rid of his fear of commitment and responsibility.
Better-me doesn't have a TO-DO list ; whenever he should put shit on the TO-DO list, he does it, or do it whenever he finishes doing his current shit.
Better-me sleeps 5 hours a day and still feel fresh all days without caffeine. Better-me dated all of my crushes. Better-me didn't give up on his campus' life because he was tired. Better-me didn't fail a semester.
The list goes on and on...
And, above all else, better-me loves to berate me from the mirror and my own mouth just before I'm going to sleep, and telling me my life is shit compared to his.
I like better-me. He might be a jerk and a bully, but at least he helps me staying grounded and prevents me from having any hope.
Delusions of grandeur. Sure, I fantasize about my oneitis on occasion but my main delusions are me as a fascist dictator ruling the country, making corrupt Putin-tier appointments like based on who sucked my dick now that I'd have had the money for that. If I'm not a dictator I'll be a rich CEO moving death squads around and racketeering people.
I guess it's why I play Grand Strategy games a lot.
>>29060590
when im alone at home i start talking to myself with a shitty southern accent
its so fun
>Have little conversations with myself
>Congratulate myself out loud when I do something right
>Talk shit about myself out loud when I mess up
>I almost make threads every day, I end up closing the tab before I actually make them though, because I dont think that anyone will be interested in my bullshit
>>29060590
>>29061887
>>29060800
Have you ever seen something so relatable that it almost hurts to read because you thought you were alone for so long?
It's like being stranded on a gigantic island for a decade and then suddenly finding a bunch of other people out of nowhere.
>>29070199
I do this but in my scenarios I fantasize that I am better-me in an alternate reality where I never met my crush and my life stayed grounded by logic instead of always thinking about her.
I'm practically the same guy as now, just have had more time for my close friends and more time for managing my DayZ clan which turns out for the better.
I guess I'm the reverse of most robots. Instead of having idealized love, I dream of never having encountered love at all as it'd make for an easier life.
I watch girl gamers on twitch.
>>29070199
This made me sad...I like you, no matter how you are anon
>>29062685
I do this, sometimes they'll give me money so I'll buy some drugs and get fucked up all by myself and watch anime or whatever
shit's depressing but nice in a way
>>29070642
Think about that : the more experienced you become in life, the less you learn about the world and yourself. Thus, the more you live, the less you change - and by live, I'm not talking about age, but personal life experience. No matter what you live, it builds you : even the most destructive of experiences are opportunities to rebuild yourself better.
So having met love made you realize that some things are more important than others, and that your view of what's important might be wrong. You might have been a cocky, self-entitled fuckwad without that.
>>29070681
Thanks. Though I've become resilient to my own miserableness, it's nice knowing I made you empathize with my situation. Keep it running ; empathy is a rarity nowadays.
>>29071036
>You might have been a cocky, self-entitled fuckwad without that.
But I was and I want to go back to it. Outwardly I still seem like that, but inwards I'm getting romantic. I was a cunt who did shit for myself but as a result I got really far through it.
I go on this board.
>>29062787
Get it out anon, or you might end up like this guy:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Darger
In love with an internet girl who doesn't love me back for 2 years
> before i go to bed at night i pray, a quick a name in the son,father,holy spirit
i pray for health, passing my finals, dumb shit like that, even if there was a god why would he care about trivial shit
I consider myself agnostic but it's just gives me some comfort
I dose on a shit ton of cough medicine several times a month. Around 60 pills of it in one night.
>>29071049
No you weren't. I know I sound categoric, but look at what you've written :
>time for my close friends
>managing my DayZ clan
You might not be aware of it, but this shows you care about people, which is a strength. Though I'm afraid I don't know much about romance, I know for sure having friends to rely on is invaluable on multiple levels.
>>29071170
Do you have a pet ? It might be humbling to think of ourselves as god's pets, but really if you were omnipotent and omniscient, what would you do after a millenia or two of toying with your shit ? The only answer I can come up with is "set things into action then watch them evolve", because the only thing I'd not know yet is how someone else could think and act. And even if I did, it'd interest me to watch it happen - ask anyone who watched a movie twice, knowing the end doesn't make the experience any less interesting.
As for why he'd care about you personally, well he has omniscience and omnipresence : this means he can actually focus on every single human being at the same time, all the time. He might not show himself because that'd ruin everything, but he cares.
And if there's no god, it also means there's no fate, luck, destiny or anything of the sort : anything that happens to you, you're the only one to decide how it affects you and how you react. Ask yourself : what do you really care about that's worth putting the effort in it to achieve it ?
>>29071036
I hope things get better anon. I'm kinda drunk right so maybe I'm being overly emotional but I really feel for you. I'm sure you're a great person, even if you don't think that you are
>>29071293
I'm not that great of a person. I just tend to go zen on people when they ask for advice, otherwise I'm a typical class clown. Plus I kinda got a self-destructive outlook on life so you know there's that.
>>29071253
I had pets yes and i like animals. Honestly is it bad that i just want to focus on my life and keep the religion stuff for when i'm like 60? I'm still registered as catholic and was raised catholic. My thinking right now is the universe is complicated and i'l gladly accept i can't know everything, destiny might exist but there's also coincidence, so there might be a 'god' that watches over us.
>>29060747
This is the most degenerate thing I've ever heard go skin yourself alive
I go through conversations I have had with people in my head, and act them out again silently. I have no friends.
>>29071352
>Honestly is it bad that i just want to focus on my life and keep the religion stuff for when i'm like 60?
Bad according to who ? The zealot will tell you that faith is the only thing worth thinking about, the fedora'd will tell you the only good time to think about it is never. If you feel like you can live your life happily without needing to solve spiritual riddles first, and just "accept you can't know everything" as you said yourself, then you have all the rights to do so.
>>29071336
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Is there/are there things that have happened to you that have made you feel this way?
>>29071194
Both benefit me with companionship, latter benefits me with something to do and it is something I've invested in. Sure, I care about other people, but I put number one above all else. Or used to anyway.
>>29060590
>talks back to me
SHOW HER HER FUCKING PLACE
>>29071419
I'm a youngster. My 22th birthday is a mere two months from now. I was literal when I said I was a class clown.
As for what made me what I am, well. A teaspoon of dysfunctional family, two cups of bullying, a pinch of friendless childhood, a sprinkle of failed relationship, and large batches of dumb luck and support to make me succeed academically and socially years later despite all those setbacks. Hitting rock bottom and the peak of your life in less than a decade and a bit of introspection does weird things to one's mind.
Though that being said, I feel like I have to tell you that my philosophy is basically that, without people making sacrifices and willing to put themselves in harm's way, it'd be a dog-eat-dog world out there. Think about soldiers sacrificing their sanity, if not their lives, in order to let their fellowmen live at peace ; while I'm nowhere as noble or brave as a soldier, I like to place myself in situations where most of the fallout of bad happenstances is for me to take, so others will have a more peaceful and supportive environment which will in turn allow them to grow instead of fighting.
tl;dr : I tend to sacrifice myself to prevent suffering in others. Like I said : self-destructive philosophy.
>>29071430
Being aware that you do things for a reason doesn't mean the things you do have no validity beyond their cause. You can't have companionship without returning it, and giving companionship to people is mostly agreed to be a good thing - hell, it's the very thing robots crave and the reason they're here to begin with ; they lack companionship.
As for keeping yourself occupied and looking for glory, nobody can blame you for that. Wanting to be the better person get people places, as you said yourself.
As for now, and for all my opinion is worth, I think you'd make a pretty good boyfriend if you keep in mind that sometimes there isn't a higher level and there is such a thing as trying too hard.
>>29062391
>>29062358
>>29060590
I do all these... kill me
>>29062787
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm
Found it
lurk tumblr with tags "anime cuddle" and "anime hug"
makes me comfy
>>29065310
>>29065251
I heard looking at your feet and spinning keeps u from waking up but ive never tried it
>>29071821
Try it, it's a good trick.a fucking imageboard wants me to type fucking text so i can reply
>>29070678
I do this for a few obscure bitches and I don't even like video games, just staring at them playing games is enough for me. so pathetic I am
>>29060590
well I'm trying this meditation technique to change my body into a taller one
>stand in the middle of the room
>close my eyes, breathe deeply
>reach up to the sealing
>try to imagine a force making all my bones grow in length
>try to feel myself floating and getting taller
>whispers the words "grow, grow, grow" as I'm doing it
>Make brief eye contact with a beautiful girl knowing that her eyes will immediately flick away in a dismissing way
>Don't want to feel that sense of inadequacy, but do this anyway, hoping that she will somehow see your pain and open you into her life.
>>29060590
I have vivid daydreams, I integrate into the enviroment around me, especially when I listen to music. It's so bad now that 99% of the time I subconsciously feel that I am actually living in the altered reality, and only really snap out when I watch the news.
>>29060590
>make out with a at in his car
>he leaves to be deployed in the marines the next morning
>mfw when I can't sleep at night I'll smell my shirt from that day and it smells like him
At least he does the same, I gave him my red bandana and he said it smells like me and reminds him of us. He'll be back home by October.fucking kill me now
>hugging my pillow became a bit boring
>dress it with a hoodie
>feels good man
>>29062807
>tfw i do the exact same thing
I talk to my dog when I feel lonely which is all the time.
>>29073376
Let me rephrase that, I have conversations with my dog.
>>29071170
>even if there was a god why would he care about trivial shit
Because he loves you.
>>29060590
I have long conversation with myself about multiple topics, I actually talk with myself for hours sometimes
>>29062521
Same, humiliating others turns me on
I look at old texts between me and my ex and it kinda makes me feel like we're still together.
>>29062407
>mfw anon's imagination and writing style actually prompted us into believing that what he does is kinda cool
>even though in reality he is sitting under a blanket talking to himself
>>29060590
>always wake up with a pillow in my arms and dream about a gf
its like my body is telling me it wants physical contact
I've spent a lot of time designing Pathfinder characters, which I will never use because I'm too autistic to do anything that involves other people.
I've got about 20 characters now.
>>29065551
Same. Does that mean we're narcissistic?
I picture the few people I know reacting to it and saying "oh, this was kind of to be expected".
>>29069210
I did that hanging test once myself. How aren't you afraid that you'll overdo it and damage your brain with prolonged hypoxia? I'd be worried to make myself even more stupid than now.
>>29060622
yeah they call that god
>when alone will talk to self: "fuck you faggot. i hate you faggot."
>sometimes call and response: "i hate myself." "shut up you crybaby faggot. i'm going to kill you." "ok."
>when in the car sing along to music but change lyrics to gay sex or poop and giggle about it
>33 y.o. and straight
>>29074257
I do the first thing too, but without a "2nd person" responding.
>kill yourself [my name]. take a gun and just kill yourself. you idiot, just kill yourself you stupid idiot
I got three I imaginary scenario which i generally cycle through
>some sort of anti hero corporate giant trying to main the west superiority doing shady shit, think Bruce Wayne + Dr doom + trump
>using super powers discreetly
>elite solider, doing shitty no bullet can harm me stuffs
Then its back to 4chan...
>whenever I'm thinking of a memory where I fucked up or got embarrassed I say something to push the memory back down
>actually has worked as I can't remember some things anymore
>sometimes I want people to think I've had a hard life and pity me so I will cry a little bit in class
>sleep with a dakimakura
>go in a secluded area and pretend like I am in video games I like and run around pretending like I am fighting alongside characters
>Lie in bed
>Start imagining life with a family of my own, living in a nice neighbourhood, with a decent car.
>Get steadily angrier and angrier as I realise all the things in the world that make my dream impossible.
>Get more and more pissed off the more I imagine my dream slipping away, like a photo undeveloping itself.
>By the time I actually fall asleep, I'm legitimately homicidal from sheer rage at the world and how the only fucking thing I wanted out of life is forever out of my grasp.
>I once didn't fall asleep and spent two hours punching the shit out of my pillow in a red mist. I can't even remember who I imagined punching.
>When I returned to my senses, I was still weakly punching a pillow while crying my eyes out.
The only thing that lets me sleep any more is rage.The only thing even keeping me alive any more is the idea that my continued life inconveniences somebody enough that it ruins their day.
>>29060590
I do that but not out loud. But I'm too insecure that it always ends with them abandoning me.
>>29060590
Met a guy here that I text all day. He just wants nudes and sexting, I want to quench my crushing loneliness
>>29060590
when i'm at work i hardly ever focus
i alternate between daydreams of meeting a gt falling in love etc and reminding myself that i'm pathetic and i don't deserve happiness of any kind
>>29062534
Omg I do exactly the same :-)
>>29074866
I do it too. There are so many Qts at work but they're all married or in long term relationships, not like I have a shot with them.
>>29074922
must be torture bro, at least where i work it's men only
sometimes gas builds up in my intestines and i let it escape through my anus. it makes a noise i can only describe as like a farting sound, and it smells like... i don't know how to explain it, i guess the closest smell i can compare it to is a fart? maybe? sorry i can't really describe it very well, you guys probably think i'm crazy.
>>29074947
It's torture. I don't fit in at all with them.
>>29074501
>>some sort of anti hero corporate giant trying to main the west superiority doing shady shit, think Bruce Wayne + Dr doom + trump
Explain more on this.
>>29074366
same, but I only started about a year ago and it hasn't degraded quite to your level
so far I say something in this format:
"I love/hate life/death"
and I use this for everything, I hate death when something's funny, I love death when I'm working for a long time, I hate life when I'm down
I never say I love life though
I imagine myself being lonely for the rest of my life and fight to hold back the tears most nights. I thought I was getting better but I'm not sure that's true any more.
>lying in bed
>imagine myself playing piano, making up melodies and symphonies in my head
>never played an instrument irl
>bought a piano but don't have the patience or attention span to actually fucking do something with it
>>29074255
FUCK OFF
adoanowfk
>>29061216
This is me, but replace SJW's with literally anyone who pisses me off.
>>29060590
>>29060800
>>29060892
Well, i do that too, it feels good for a moment, then i remember that will never happen.
>starting to picture someone lying in bed next to you and hugging that person from behind while cuddling up
>imaging some pillow talk, where you can confess all of your troubles and issues
THe weird thing is that I could theoretically have that, but I don't "want" to.
>>29060590
When i go to bed i talk to imaginary god. And i beg him to take me to the sky when i'm asleep. I just say : "Dear god, please let me not to wake up the next morning, let me live in my dreams, I just want it to stop already."
>>29060590
Knew a girl named Courtney that I never dated or anything but was close to and she wasnt the best at making real friends either
I only knew her for 6 months and then we never talked or saw each other again, because I moved away and we never swapped contact info
About 4 years later I've started having dreams about her
Like once a week when I'm asleep long enough to wake up with energy I have a dream about her and me
Walking around my old city, talking over a meal, going swimming
It's never the usual out of this world dream shit that I get, it's normal shit that I wish I had done with her
>>29060590
I still dream about a girl I knew in high school and sometimes about a girl I know from the web (but I've only talked to her 2-3 times), basically the same as you, just pretending that she cares about me and other pathetic fantasies.
I also like fantasizing about being in a magical adventure where I'm the 'lone wanderer' (very original, I know, especially for a robot) and while important stuff is happening all around me in this fantasy world I don't care that much but occasionally I'll show up and help at the last moment and everyone is super impressed, of course
>fap to my ex gf
>think about her every daynorman fuuuuu
>>29060590
That gif has always pissed me off to irrational levels.
He is trying to sleep you dumb cunt. Why the FUCK are you stroking his head?! It's annoying as fuck, nobody like it, and keeps him awake.
You stupid bitch. Knock it off already!
>>29060800
I do this too, sometimes in my head, sometimes in whisper tone. It helps me sleep very well.
fuuuuck why am i so pathetic
>>29068084
You have good qualities anon, just remember to b yourself
>>29060590
hold my own hand sometimes, and do the typical scenarios in my head thing. i actually get sleepy if i do it now since i do it before i sleep.
>>29060590
>sometimes i try to imagine what would happen if i told my parents i just want to die and wanted to for 22 years
>sometimes i imagine im not sitting alone in my room but have a girl sit on my lap and i just rest my head on her shoulder while wrapping my arms around her
>sometimes i imagine being in my thirties and living in some luxury highrise with a nice view on the city. but when i look out the window i dont feel anything but loneliness and emptiness
>>29074187
Well sometimes I hope that I'm not able to untie it and I actually an hero. I do this at night so I have 8+ hours to struggle and die miserably.
