Women often demonise the concept of the "nice guy", describing them as vultures who prey on female vulnerability and who are only pretending to be nice to get pussy. They often claim that guys who find themselves in "the friendzone" are placed there because of their own inadequacies and shortcomings and that they're all pathetic, manipulative assholes.
But I've never really understood the ubiquitousness with which they try to write off all 'nice guys' who harbour crushes on them as sniveling creeps who are generally undeserving of sympathy or affection.
What does /r9k/ think? Are nice guys really just scumbags trying to pass themselves off as something else? Is the friendzone just a non-existent excuse? Or do women just try to paint them as such so they can feel more justified in not being attracted to men who genuinely love and care about them because they don't find them attractive? Maybe it's a combination of the two?
How does one avoid the friendzone? Can it be avoided or is it just the natural conclusion of trying to get close to a women who doesn't find you attractive?
the friendzone is just a mode of rejection.
What it means literally is, "I like the benefits you give me by staying acquaintances (backup plan/emotional tampon/person to hit up when I'm bored/wallet/etc) but I'm not attracted to you at all"
Nice guys are guys who have been taught, through society and media that by being nice, you will benefit in the end. The nice guy will get the girl in the end, the nice guy has a loving family, the nice guy will have a picture perfect life, etc. the nice guy does not treat his affection as a sexual object and hides his desire because he thinks that women should be treated with respect, whatever. But this works against him. Women are naturally attracted to dominance.
So nice guys aren't necessarily bad people or good people. They are just behind the times and have unrealistic ideals.
>>29053258
It's a defense mechanism for roasties.
That shy guy that you rejected in favor of Chad Thundercock? He probably a master manipulator that hates women
They will claim that being nice is the bare minimum that you have to do, but will fuck guys that treat them like shit only because they have good looks
Fuck roasties
>>29053258
It's not black and white. I've known of a nice guy who was genuinely a creep too. Bought lots of gifts for my then-girlfriend. Fingered my then-ex-girlfriend in her sleep (against her consent).
However, most nice guys are fine, just not particularly masculine, so naturally they're passed over.
It's not right that they're all given the same treatment, but it's not surprising to me either.
Nice guys aren't despised by anyone. When a nice guy is rejected by a girl, he accepts it and moves on. The guys who sperg out about women not wanting nice guys, probably aren't very nice.
>>29053258
"Nice guys" are all losers who want sex.
Indian guys online act like nice guys, don't be a poo in the loo.
Nice guys turn women off so much.
>>29053258
>Are nice guys really just scumbags trying to pass themselves off as something else?
I think that most of them are just poor fags that didn't have any strong male figure in their life so they don't really know how te deal with women, I don't think that they're some kind of manipulative master mind, I honestly feel bad for them and tried to help a few that went with me in college.
Then there are the guys who are genuinely creepy, like stalkers, but I wouldn't consider those nice guys.
Women just like to say that nice guys are in fact assholes so they can play the victim, when most of the times they are the ones taking advantage of the guy.
>>29054152
I don't think nice guys can help being shy/submissive/insecure any more than chads can help being self-centred/arrogant/self-assured.
>>29053258
if a woman wants to label a guy as a "nice guy" then she is free to do so
the only way the woman can be inaccurate is if the woman is socially retarded (lol) or if the guy is and at that point it's the fault of the guy for being socially retarded
most of the time nice guys are manipulative assholes or social retards who don't realise they're being manipulative assholes or coming off that way
>>29053472
No, what it actually mean is: "I enjoy your company as much as I enjoy a company of let's say, another girl. I appreciate our friendship, but I do not want to have sex with you and I am not attracted to you. I am sad our friendship has to end because your penis gets attached to anything that gives it attention."
No, they're not le evil scumbags like women make them out to be, they're just incredibly naive and probably raised by a beta father/single mother, growing up watching Disney movies. They're stupid but to demonize them instead of feel pity for them is something so retarded only a woman or a nu male could do it.
Women just don't want to admit that being nice doesn't work and that aggressive selfish men make them wet, so instead they label nice guys as "not actually nice!" and "j-just fake nice!". That's it.
nice guys dont finish last.
boring, shallow, uninteresting, uncharismatic guys finish last.
>>29054323
This anon tells the truth, and nice guys tend to be all of that.
>>29054300
This is true.
Not only does Chad Thundercock disrespect women all the time, but he also had sex sex sex first and foremost on his mind, and everything he does is centered around that in life. The only reason women enjoy him being rude is being of his good looks and status.
I've had some female losers on here insist to me that Chad is not like that, but he is. I've hung around with those guys a lot. They don't respect women, sex is the penultimate thing they are after, and they are not averse to using manipulation tactics to getting some pussy.
>>29054323
Pretty much. Nicely put.
>>29054199
Yeah they can. Confidence can be faked.
>>29053258
>ugly nice guys
Rejected
>handsome nice guys
Will marry any girl he wants
That's it.
>>29054383
Alright, but how about all the men that aren't aggressive Chad with money yet still have girlfriends?
>>29054435
"cash rules everuthing around me, c.r.e.a.m get the money..."
>>29053258
"Nice guy" is just a term for a passive/submissive man.
Passiveness and submissive is universally despised in men, there are absolutely no qualities that can outweigh this. Women can tolerate a LOT of shit (ugliness, manipulation, etc.) but submissiveness is a deal-breaker. Nice guys don't understand this and think women are attracted to assholes, when really it's their assertiveness.
>>29054435
I've thought about that lately. I've seen, almost without exception, that the guys with girlfriends that aren't aggressive Chads with money have girlfriends that are not so good looking, and the women are more modest-like and do not have high expectations.
Not all women are sluts and whores. Many many, many, MANY are, but there's your answer. There are still some women left that don't feel entitled to Chad.
>>29054323
nail on head
I'm a """"nice"""" guy in that when people try to describe me to others, all they can think to say is "anon? yeah, he's nice I guess". "Nice" is a word people use as a general compliment when they don't actually have anything good to say about a person because they're actually just flat-out boring
>>29054518
How do you explain teenage love then? Most of the time, there is nothing monetary involved in those ages. People remember it as highlight of their lives and one of the purest loves.
>>29053258
>What is the friendzone?
Unrequited feelings/attraction that cannot be reciprocated meaning you are placed as a "friend". Even this basic definition has interpretations as some people aren't relegated to the position of a friend. So at the core a friendzone is feelings not reciprocated.
>Why the misunderstanding?
There is the difference you can:
1. Meet someone, have an attraction and get with them.
2. Alternatively some relationships build over time and attraction grows and changes. Some people end up with each other as they built up over time.
So one main issue is: some people have to instantly obtain someone of their desires and other people build up relationships. The problem is these two things conflict majorly.
>Who has it right, men or women?
I have seen some women use men horribly. This one girl I knew kept this guy on a short leash as a "friend". When the day came for a proper date? She never told him it was a date and horribly judged him for every little faux pas despite the guy doing nothing wrong. She liked to use him for meals out.
I have seen men act horrible to women. They think that a relationship is not based on mutual respect but seem to think they need to do crap to get something out and when they don't get what they want they reveal themselves to not care about their object of affection at all.
Both groups try to insult the other as it is the best way to absolve guilt and justify actions.
>>29054742
"Chads ! Chads, eeverywhere"
answered ?
>>29054786
>How to avoid friendzones?
This will sound gay but here it is: to understand the friendzone you must understand love.
Love is not desire, or lust, or based attraction. It is about liking true ideals someone posesses. These can be anything, a nice smile, a dry wit, intelligent mind. Whatever. But to be in love you must enjoy these ideals. If someone falls in "love at first sight" it is not true. You often make up ideals another has. And you wish to obtain these when reality is skewed.
Quite often friendzones are born out of a skewed mirror of reality. People see someone they find attractive who treats them nice and then desires them. They agnoize and torture themselves like a priest performing self flagellation. To understand how to beat the friendzone is simply. It has nothing to do with another person. It is about removing that agony from yourself and realising that attraction is not the be-all-to-end-all.
Once you understand this, you retain your dignity and don't fall into living at the whims of another. Ultimately if someone doesn't like you then they aren't right for you. You cannot force it. The biggest way to beat th friendzone is to conquer your own easily led whims.
>>29054802
Every guy is a Chad when he's a teen?
nice is not a personality trait. Everyone is nice and not so nice in some way or another. If you are nothing but nice without having actual interests/humor/stuff to say you are boring.
Also, when did people start calling friendship "friendzone". Maybe it goes for some shallow broads with no qualities or other uses than receiving phallus instead of platonic companionship
>>29054961
When I was 16, I was more Chad than I am now. Testosterone + insecurity = irrational self-confidence.
>>29055114
Maybe you. Majority of /r9k/ would not agree with you.
I cringe into the sun whenever I hear "nice guys."
