drinking and depression thred
whatcha drinking?
watcha feelin?
first for the pain never ends
shameless self bump
honestly thinking of killing myself today
im running out of excuses not to
never ending pain
cant stand living, scared of death
i post alone tonight
HAIKU
>>29047913
I feel weird man. I think about blowing my brains out often but alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel remotely normal. Well xanax too..
But idk every time I drink it makes me feel somewhat normal which makes me feel even worse knowing I probably have some undiagnosed mental disorder and alcohol is the only way to fix it apparently.
>>29048120
have you ever considered therapy ?
have you talked about it with family?
>>29048162
I've tried it so many times...
Been to maybe ~5-6 psychiatrists in the last few years. All of them push me off onto the same SSRIs which don't and have never once worked.
Been to counselors. All of them say the same shit. "You know anon you just gotta get out there and magically change everything"
Family basically doesn't exist either. Haven't seen/spoken to my mom in years and she basically exiled me out of her side of the family, I could talk to my dad but I make him sad enough already I don't want to bother him with this.
>>29047913
i usually drink high proof gin in the half-hour a day i get to myself away from my job and loveless marriage
>>29048198
I can relate to a lot of that
i say do what ever make you happy even if it dose require drinking
i know thats not normal but fuck normal and fuck normies
>>29048249
ever consider looking for another woman?
sounds like that marriage is making you miscible
Can't drink anymore because of psychosis. Have to take meds and can't risk another episode of psychosis by drinking. Feel crushing depression daily but trying to get out of it.
>>29048427
>psychosis
what is psychosis like?
>>29048503
My experience with psychosis was really horrible and terrifying. If you have a psychotic episode then all your irrational fears can seem perfectly real. You can think that demons or aliens are trying to get you. Being psychotic is also dangerous because you could end up killing someone who is dear to you because you think they're possessed or evil. Also if a person experiences psychosis they can have hallucinations and hear voices. It isn't pleasant. Luckily I'm a very rational person so when I had a psychotic episode I knew I was going crazy, even if the voices were telling me to hurt people.
>>29048657
holy shit thats terrifying
>>29048682
It really is. I honestly wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. If I'm lucky I'll eventually recover from it, if not I'll have to keep taking medication for the rest of my life.
>>29048657
My psychosis was crazy. Really felt like I was in a dream or playing a game and your the character. The disassociation was scary but fun. However, I became extremely paranoid at night so would not recommend it.
>>29048727
But yeah, I'd say that my psychotic episode was triggered by alcohol. I was mentally unwell before it happened (a psychotic loner) and for years my only companion was a bottle of alcohol. One day my mind just cracked :P mental illness and heavy drinking can be a recipe for psychosis.
Drinking some hot chocolate in hopes I can finally fall asleep at 7am
>>29048802
I wouldn't say you're lucky but you're more fortunate than me. My experience was terrifying. Yeah psychosis wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the paranoia. I hate the paranoia that goes with it. Sometimes I'm alone and my mind starts telling me that a demon is going to come and get me even if I rationally know that that's impossible. Psychosis really is like feeling your sanity slowly splinter. I just hope that I eventually recover from this shit and I don't need to take medication anymore. The medication is horrible.
