The roastie behind the counter at the coffee shop writes this on your cup. What do you anon?
>>29035099
I WAS JUST CHECKING THE TIME YOU WHORE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
talk to the manager and try to get her fired
Walk out, what else?
''are those sperm drops on my cup?''
>ugggh like pay attention to me
Never go there again
>>29035099
Continue looking at my phone
I would feel angry and not go back there. It's none of her business anyway.
I don't buy coffee because I have a plunger at home and buying coffee is a complete rip off. Even when I go to university I use the plunger and put a whole pot into a big ass thermos so I can drink it during lectures n shit.
>>29035099
just spitballing here but could you take a "sexual harassment" route and get her fired?
>>29035168
thermos are for autists or construction workers, anon
>>29035099
I would frown at her and leave.
>>29035168
What's a plunger, are you talking about a french press?
>>29035166
Or I thought of something else, if you go back and she takes your order tell her not to write any stupid shit on your cup this time. idk if I would be brave enough to say that though. Makes me mad just thinking about it.
Did this happen to you OP?
>>29035099
What unbelievable narcissism to assume I'd be interested in an unambitious failure who serves coffee.
I'd delete the N and both Es from engage and leave it on a table.
Also nice dubs.
>take lid off because reading that made me uncomfortable and bullied because it's telling me what i should do
>"accidentally" trip and spill hot coffee on myself while still on their premises
>sue the place for damages and get her fired
"Ok, do you want to do something after work?"
>"..."
"OH I THINK SO"
>>29035208
Probably. Either way, they are cheap, delicious and awesome. Everyone should have one.
Make up some story about me checking the status of my moms cancer.
and say "is that alright with you? sorry for worrying about my mom"
make her feel like shit for being a narcissistic cunt
>>29035155
>>29035238
>implying she is asking you to engage with her and not in general
haven't you autists seen those "no wifi coffeeshop, talk with others instead" places? Oh right you're shut-ins.
>>29035228
This is what I get for leaving the house, it's my own fault
>>29035099
I would make eye contact and start a pleasant conversation with her about topics everyone can relate to like the latest movies in theaters or the best bars to go to.
>>29035099
Video related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xPjsTyS4lY&t=0m43s
>>29035276
Splendid.
Here's your (You).
>>29035276
>you're shut-ins
>r9k
wow, who'd a thunk it? :^)made you look :^)
>she writes stupid shit on my cup
>i write on the wall with her blood
>>29035099
Honestly?
I would assume it was something management told her to do and just ignore it.
and if she's doing it on her own, I know it's a stunt for status at work.
Either way, it makes throwing it in the trash afterwards satisfying. SO I APPROVE.
>>29035099
>The barista gives me a sheepish grin as she places my hot beverage on the counter. I look down and realize it has writing on the top. I read over it and shake my head knowingly with a rueful sigh. I look at her, and make sure to establish strong eye contact. I tell her to close her eyes. She smiles and does so, placing her hands over her eyes as if a child playing hide and seek. I flip the lid off with a finger and with a violent wrist movement eject the scalding liquid onto the barista's face. She immediately begins to scream and I quickly give her a strong underhand hook in the gut. She doubles over but her shrieking is only half-volume now. I push her sideways onto the floor and walk away, leaving the empty cup on the counter.
>As I walk away I hear her mumble under her breath
>"H-h-he's fast!"
>I turn my head slightly as I walk away and say
>"Pshhh, nothing personnel kid."
you want to really fuck with her?
go to cvs and get a pink sharpie or whatever she used, make sure its the same color
go back to another starbucks and order a coffee, make sure there's no writing on the top
write something offensive on the top of it, make sure it looks like "girly" handwriting
go back to the starbucks where the girl works, talk to her manager, and show the manager the lid and tell him/her that is what she wrote on it
watch the shit show unfold
>>29035208
>that filename
Kekd IRL
>>29035122
This seems like the logical step OP how dare she
>>29035276
pls go back to your place of origin
>>29035417
>Mfw stupid autists will think this story is fake.
I was fuckin there, man. Coffee shop in cabo san lucas, right? what was the name... Cassicola!
Holy fuck, what are the odds?
>>29035417
Handled it like a real man
>>29035276
what kind of liberal shit hole do you live in where they have places without wifi? Sounds horrid.
>>29035313
This thread needs more Chrome like now.
She wanted you to notice her, senpai.
>>29035099
Scream "MOSHI MOSHI BITCH" and throw it at her then flee the coffee shop screeching
Finally become an alpha
>read message
>do a quick scan of the room to see who is making eye contact with me currently
>notice roastie behind counter giving me the eyes
>wink with both eyes at her
>stand up and start to walk over
>put a little strut in my walk like Saturday Night Fever (ladies love this)
>"so you wanted me to engage you huh?"
>get on one knee
>pull out engagement ring that I keep in my pocket at all times
>ask her to marry me
What could go wrong? she wanted me to engage her
>>29035649
no, she just wanted to be superior to someone
>>29035579
Looks like this guy is ready to tear up some ham
Go up to her and say "what did you mean by this?"
>>29035099
engage in what?
creepily staring at her?
I'm down for that
>>29035099
Reverse image sesrch does nothing. Did you bring the cup home and take a photo of it?
>>29035752
Yes, this is OC
>>29035208
>not using aeropress in current year
why don't you get a better job
leave and next time i see her explain that i have bad social anxiety though i appreciate her good intentions and maybe we become friends and then maybe shes my gf and maybe we fall in love and start a great relationship
>>29035776
So what did you do when you first read it?
>>29035860
It was to go so I was already walking out when I read it. Then I got to my car read it and was pissed off, what business does she have telling me what to do?
>>29035585
I can imagine someone with a data plan going in and pissing everyone off.
>>29035099
>be employee at starbucks
>some autist comes in staring at his phone, mumbles his order
>ask him again because i couldn't hear him
>says it louder still looking at his phone
>thought it was really disrespectful and annoying, so I wrote "put down the phone and engage", then realized it would look hostile as fuck so i drew a heart next to it
>he saw the cup and ran out of the shop
Who drinks their coffee with two straws anyway? Fuckin weirdo
Tell her to replace the lid.
>>29035855
THE ONLY ANSWER THAT'S CORRECT AND STILL AUTISTIC
GOOD JOB FAMPAI YOU MADE ME HAPPY
THE REST OF YOU ARE A BUNCH OF CUNTS
PERSONALLY, I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING BECAUSE WHO GIVES A SHIT, KINDA CUTE, KINDA OBNOXIOUS, WHO CARES
>>29035690
what could possibly go wrong
oregano notwithstaning
>>29035099
What is she implying?
>>29035276
>haven't you autists seen those "no wifi coffeeshop, talk with others instead" places?
lmao nigga there aren't even coffee shops where I live, let alone specialty ones
where the fuck you live? some liberal nigger shithole like NYC or LA?
>>29035946
>be a cup of coffee
>some autist orders me
>some stacey then tattoos my head
>autist takes me to his car and proceeds to drink me
>just got pissed out
>>29036169
>be a straw
>stacy puts me in cup of hot liquid my buddy
>we gon die together
>some sweaty autist sucks hot liquid out of the cup through our bodies while looking at a square
>been sitting on his desk for hours now
id take the lid off, crumble it, throw it out while leaving the store
>>29035099
"I'M BEING OPPRESSED!!! RAAAAAPE!!!!"
Why not, it's what she would do.
>not keeping the lid because she wrote it to you, it has her handwriting, and she drew a heart
>>29035099
engage with fucking what? did she even test this shitty message before she released it??
>>29035276
>go to coffee shop to sit down and do job work (which requires my laptop)
>has those bullshit 'no wifi, talk to others' shit
>have to take my business elsewhere because they think customers being social is more profitable than actually getting customers
write on the money
"spaghetti isn't free"
Why would I want to engage with trash that make less money than I do?
>>29035099
I WAS JUST CHECKING THOSE DUBS
"Seriously, I know you women are incapable of working their mouth and brain at the same time and I don't want you to fuck up my coffee like last time"
>>29036412
That's not a question they ask themselves. You see, women these days are taught that they are entitled to anything and everything, including any man's attention, because being cute is somehow magical and will bring you everything in life. This is a parasite that the western world will take decades to get rid of, only when it realizes that women are socially privileged in nearly every imaginable aspect, not to mention stupid and whiny
>>29035238
>>29036550
>mentioning dubs on /r9k/
FUCK OFF SUMMER
I Engage.
>mfw I can see future coffee shops without wifi turning into the fucking set of cheers
>someone walks in
>Everyone: HEY PAL :) XD
>YOU GOTTA TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF, THERE ARE NO STRANGERS HERE!
and so on...
Quality fucking thread, OP.
The OC is delicious, yet has been bluntly seasoned with rage and a subtle undertone of despair. This will definitely be saved to my SSD to look back on when I am 40.
so no one in this thread has any experience ever working in customer service, and also, no one in this thread has ever read the business section of any MSM.
You're all a bunch of gay autists. The reason she wrote that is because she was ordered to by management, that's what Starbucks does. Don't like it? Don't fucking go there. Op you're a giant fucking faggot.
>I h-have a debilitating personality disorder and this is the first time I've gathered up the courage to get a cup of coffee in years because of the human interaction required... p-please no bully...
People like this are why I'm too scared to leave my house.
>Oh but anon why are you worried about people judging you lol they're too busy with their own lives XD just be yourself!
People are looking at you and judging you literally all the time. I hate this fucking meme.
>>29035690
wasnt expecting that
>sensible chuckle
>>29036845
>management tells their employees to write a sentence that can be interpreted as passive agressive whenever they see a customer looking at their phone
I'm not sure you even know what customer service is
>>29036566
It is a beautiful thing to see how they implode when they realize that they have no power over a smug, confident robot.
>>29035099
Who the fuck drinks coffee from a straw?
>>29036954
>how they implode when they are hit with several rounds of 5.56x45mm
FTFY, pic is Marc Lepine ;)
>>29037001
B A S E D
They also crumple up nicely from a fire extinguisher as well.
>>29035099
Never go to that shop again
>tells me to get off 4chan
>Not an obvious red flag
HAVENT EVEN MET YOU AND YOU ARE TRYING TO RUN MY LIFE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29035208
He means he has a press
>>29036933
Why are you arguing with me? I told you that Starbucks does this. If you fucking read a business section article in your life you might know this. Starbucks publicly announced this initiative a while back.
Why are you arguing with me? I think it's retarded. Go argue with Starbucks.
I agree it's retarded customer service. Again, why are you arguing with me?
Read something that's not a manga for once in your pathetic life, faggot.
Oh god, as a robot I couldn't imagine having to write snarky shit on every customer's cup
>>29036299
this man has the right ideatfw no barista gf
>>29037092
I'm sure they do
My personal favorite is the Molotov cocktail. That turns them into literal roasties
>>29037188
I'm telling you, it makes no sense. Writing friendly messages does, but this one in particular does not sound friendly. Passive-agressiveness is not good for business, so surely that's on her, and her employer would not approve of this at all
this is exactly the kind of shit that would appeal to a trendy hipster bitch who buys their $5 lattes or whatever
>>29035777
This. This is the only anon in this thread who knows what's up. The rest of you are idiots with no taste.
>>29036749
to be fair, they only did that for norm and sam.
>>29037369
"put down the phone and engage" is exactly the kind of shit starbucks would tell its employees to write.
If you dont understand why they are a profitable business, why stop there? Why does Starbucks burn its coffee so it tastes like shit, and then charge way too much money for it? And it's slower service than other coffee chains. Yet it's extremely successful.
(I used to work for Starbucks as a store manager)
>>29035099
I walk right out of that shop and never return.
>>29037448
how you gonna press a whole pot with that, huh?
It looks cool though and lord knows it'd be much cheaper than being a keurig cuck
>>29037510
Throw the hot coffee in that smug bitch's face before you leave
>>29035099
Stop going to coffee shop.
>>29035099
Exclaim, "What the fuck is this?", give her a disgusted look, and walk away.
Engage what? ARE WE UNDER ATTACK?!?!
>>29035099
Engage warp speed, nigga.
>>29035276
>Oh right you're shut-ins.
Shit, thank god you pointed that out, would've never noticed without your help.
The best thing to do is just continue to be totally disconnected
