ITT painful normie advice
"it almost sounds like they're mocking me" edition
>"it's not about the size of the boat, it's about the motion of the ocean!! XD"
the normie says as he walks away with his 8x6 cock showing through his jeans
>>29027185
Unironically nice pepe.
>>29027185
a classic from the normie handbook
>>29027205
I was thinking the same thing it is a nice pepe
>>29027205
>>29027223
it's my favorite one
I find that it's often paired with some of the best posts around r9k
>>29027185
> "you're really hot anon, any girl would be lucky to have you, just go up to some chick and say hi"
another classic
>>29027185
Another one related to dick size, but usually said by full on chads rather than just normies
>just JELQ/do KEGELS, brah
>>29027303
>called attractive by a girl that's unwilling to have sex with me
truly the greatest meme
>>29027185
>"Just be yourself!"
>"There's someone for you out there, you'll find someone eventually"
>>29027303
thing is, with these, I really can't tell if they're being truthful or not
my mom tells me girls czech me out in public, but I just can't bring myself to believe it, even if it is a big confidence booster
my older sister said I look like I work out despite the fact that I really don't
also probably just being nice, but I like to believe
>>29027185
>>"it's not about the size of the boat, it's about the motion of the ocean!! XD"
This one is shit because it is tautological (you people really would do well to recognize this). It says that a factor such as penis size doesn't matter as soon as we assume that other factors compensate for it. As though p.s. weren't a factor in itself, and things wouldn't be even better with it. It's basically 'health and wealth aren't important as soon as you learn to be happy without them'. You might want to remember this analogy for the next time a normal spouts this.
>you gotta change your look mate, like this they will all think you're an idiot
... because I don't like shaving my head like a newnazi?
>Just ignore bullies/Bullies are all insecure/Nerds are just bullies' future bosses
Literally just memes to keep you from shooting up the school while you have the chance.
>>29027401
>Literally just memes to keep you from shooting up the school while you have the chance.
THIS
>>29027356
>sister
>mom
>>29027185
The worst thing I get is something my mum always says about me...
>"Well at least you are very nice, Anon...."
Always makes me feel like I've failed my parents. :c
>>29027185
Why are you staring at guys dicks?
>>29027359
if you said that to a norman, they'd likely just follow up with something like >>29027303
then you ask on a whim if they'd date you and they're like
oooh, I dunnoooo.. I just wouldn't wanna ruin the friendship, ya know?
>>29027462
>pretends he doesn't stare at Chad's dick while he's getting throatfucked
>>29027346
You can not want to have sex with people you find attractive.
You just sound like a creep.
>>29027462
because I'm barely 5 inches long and barely 4 inches in circumference, so it's very easy to feel inferior when every other guy has this fat meat log resting almost halfway down their thigh
>>29027490
it's not just sex, it's dating, or at least just hanging out.
How can you find someone attractive and not have any willingness to date them yourself?
That's literally the most nonsensical thing possible.
>>29027495
If you are insecure about your penis size, I have the solution for you. This will solve your problems of penis envy.
First, become a tranny. Get your dick cut off, go all the way.
Step two, lure Chad's to your apartment with free sex. Get them drunk, really drunk. Find the one with the biggest dick.
Step three, use the biggest blackest horse cocked strap-on that Amazon can ship you, and just fuck the ever living shit out of that donkey-dicked Chad.
Step four, feel way better about life!
>>29027185
I'm sure i'm missing a few here though
just b urself : -))))))))
What Chad is trying to say here is that plenty of "lesser" men get laid and frequently so.
There is absolutely nothing less attractive than a guy with a small tool and no bravado.
Some people are born with more, some are born with less, make due.
>>29027495
If it worries you that much pump your shit.
This guy is the extreme outlier (still functional all things considered), but an example of what is possible. If nothing else, it'll give you a little more confidence.
>>29027523
What? No it isn't. You just have one dimensional beta thinking
>>29027495
That's really gay, dude. You need to stop being obsessed with dicks
>>29027960
literally
h o w
>girl finds chad attractive
>chad finds girl attractive
>they fuck
>girl supposedly finds anon attractive
>anon finds girl attractive
>girl says nah
>>29028132
Well your entitled personality sure makes you seem shitty
>>29027926
>still functional
>lying on the internet
plenty of sources out there about this dude and the fact that his dick is only for show and doesn't get hard or do anything much at all
people pay him so they can hold it and play with it, but it is definitely not functional
>>29027185
>motion of the ocean
why do they say this? are they literally just choosing what to compare sex to based on how good it rhymes?
>>29028192
I'm not entitled, I'm just being real.
I personally really don't care for having a relationship, or even sex. I got over those things after age 16.
I'm telling you how things work in the real world.
>>29028132
women mean alpha pump and dump player chads when they say 'attractive', they're not factoring in whether they have a pleasant personality like you are. it comes from how the female biological imperative is to settle down with some guy who will support her but cheat on him with an alpha so her son has alpha genes
>>29028197
Have you seen videos of the man? Sure it doesn't stand on end, but it's not like a loaf of bread either. It looks a lot like a firm loaf of bread desu...
Whatever. The point is that it works, and that you can probably borrow a little bit from this if you're feeling shameless.
>>29027960
>>29028132
There are varying levels of attractiveness
you're probably a 4/10 or a 5/10 and a girl will acknowledge that, say you're attractive (but what she really means is that you have the possibility of being attractive to someone else somewhere down the road) and that'll be the end of it
whereas chad and other normies are 7+/10 on average, which is why this happens
>>29027495
Assuming you're straight, a lot of women do not like sex that much and won't care. Try to focus on girls claiming to be asexuals. You'll deal with a lot of tumblr but try to act like you don't care about the size of your dick and they probably won't either.
>>29027303
>>29027346
I wonder what happened to the perpetuation of the myth that girls don't care about looks?
Maybe they finally just got bored of saying it.
>>29028132
your autism is showing, bruh
>literally cannot comprehend the idea that a human can feel that another human is attractive without wanting to fuck said human
>>29028442
call it autistic if you want, but no, I really can't comprehend that unless I try and do some mental gymnastics.
If it makes you feel better to hear it, I'm in a lot of pain on a daily basis
>>29028480
Can you respect the wuality of a song without actually enjoying it?
Can you think "wow that food looks like it was prepared very well" but not be interested in eating it?
Can you look at a piece of art and find it beautiful, but also think "There's no place in my house for that"?
It's basically the same thing.
>>29028702
I suppose so, but it still doesn't make sense to me
unless we try and factor in personality, which, trust me now, I'm not a lonely loser virgin
I've had multiple girlfriends and they really never cared for personality
it isn't that I'm just a beta or something either. I'm basically chad, with the only difference being my tiny 5 inch pecker
I'm polite and nice at the same time as being "a man" in general
As soon as we have sex and they see how small my dick is, it's bound to end right from that point.
They don't even look at me.
You can see them trying to stifle a laugh every time.
Do you have any idea what it's like to have that happen?
Let me just tell you how easy it is to end up hating or not understanding the opposite gender when every one you've come in contact with just wants you as a toy.
>>29027185
>"No matter what your problem is, It's only a matter of time until you solve it!"
Chronic depression and social anxiety are not something time heals, you fucking normals.
>>29028868
it's better than being ugly. You never even get girls talking to you, looking at you, NOTHING.
>>29028516
>>29027185
>for every boy there is a girl
Except history and genetics prove otherwise
>>29027185
>Just talk to people more
>Just go ask them to study with you
>Don't isolate yourself
>Join a club in high school/college, you'll make a lot of friends that way
Despite trying my hardest I still haven't made any friends since middle school.
>>29029131
this for real
there are like, 6 girls for every boy, actually. I would seriously be willing to bet none of them would ever like me for any reason though.
I would fucking bet money on it. I'm serious.
Here's a piece of advice that I always carry in my heart. Life has a funny way of working out, so just keep going. It always gets better.
>>29029187
in some cases, I think that might be because you just go numb or insane after realizing that you'll never be in a good situation or after having so many bad things happen to you that you just detach
I still hold out hope for things, I guess. I just can't see anything good happening though.
i dont know whats so hard about finding other people that share your interests and talking to them/hanging out with them. im sure theres many other people who share the same interests as you and are on the same social level. if you end up not liking people that are very similar to you in these regards, its time for some self reflection
fuck normal people, you make peace with them and not hold them in low regard, but dont try to associate yourself with people you dont like. also fuck women, dont revolve your life around having sex or getting a gf. focus on your other hobbies
eating healthy and exercising wont magically fix all your problems but it will improve your state of mind and physical health. medication and drugs tend to make things worse
life wont always cater to you specifically, sometimes you have to change your own future through sheer willpower. chase your goals, never give up, even if its that penis you want to cut off.
if you just feel like none of this advice will help you, and youre just disillusioned in life, no ones stopping you from becoming an hero.
godspeed anons
>>29027185
>"just be confident"
-
>>29029271
>interests
Ha.
Interests start encounters. Looks and sometimes height keep them going on past the first encounter. Dick size along with everything else solidifies the stability of the relationship.
>>29027185
Some shit about quoting karma wrong even though the person who does it has absolutely no interest in Buddhism whatsoever.
>>29028702
No. No normie can do any of those thIngs, and you need to look up what the word "attractive" means when used in a sexual context.
I know many of us are autistic, but let's not be full retards!
>>29027401
"Literally just memes to keep you from shooting up the school while you have the chance." -Anon, 2016
You deserve a (You), senpai.
>>29029334
yeah what youre saying only applies to shallow, closeminded people
>>29029159
I'll bite.
Post pic.
>>29028388
>ta lot of women do not like sex that much
She's cucking you bro
>>29029609
you would really regret asking, famigliano
so I'll give a description instead:
broad face, but not in a good way. I look like private pyle without being overweight
I also have sunken, dead eyes and acne scars
I'm 5'8 and 135 lbs with a body that won't even allow me to trap
>>29029846
oh, and profile view of my face is horrifying.
I have a long, legitimate jew nose without having any middle eastern or israeli genes whatsoever
my brow and the prominence of my face makes me look like a caveman
I can see people looking at me wherever I go
>>29029569
Which is what percentage of people these days?
I'd approximate maybe 70%
>>29029846
>>29029894
Show uuuuussss. To provide an original comment I am at work being lazy because slow day
>>29027303
>>29027356
I fucking HATE these
>"Wow anon, you're gonna make a girl real happy someday :-))))"
>"Dude so many girls check you out when we're outside"
>Still rejected by every girl I've ever asked out
XD
>>29030106
I just don't understand why they lie to us about it, man.
I'd rather just fucking learn to live with my pain rather than constantly being led on by false hope.
>>29028394
its empowering to act like a male now and males acknowledge they care about looks
>>29027322
Kegels don't increase dick size
>>29030610
doesn't stop people from harping on about how they do
>"Dude, she's totally into you!"
>Talk to her myself and she's always checking her phone or distracted, ends the conversation etc.
uh huh yeah.
>>29030725
Chads tend to take someone glancing in your direction for a millisecond as them being into you, because it usually does equate to them being into you if you're Chad.
>>29030241
They buy into "just be confident bro" meme and lie to you on the off chance you'll magically pull some swag out of your asshole. Not really malicious, but pointless throw away crap.
>>29027401
> Nerds are just bullies' future bosses
Than a nerd, who fucked up socialization, goes to work in McDonald's because he can't present his talents. Because everything related to study was easy to him, and when he encountered his first barrier, he stopped trying.
And his bully is the manager.
> "The world is like a boomerang. Everything that you did will return to you. So stop caring about the bullies, anon, life will punish them in the future."
>>29027185
>Come on, anon. You're not THAT ugly.
>if chad wasn't my bf, you would be!
Later chad took me to the side and said that she only sees you as a friend and she'd never really fuck you.
>>29032355
Chad does that because he's an insecure asshole deep down.
I wish a girl said something like your greentext to me, dude.
Everything is gonna be alright, robots. I just know it is.
>>29032355
>>29032427
>wanting chads left overs
>going for sloppy seconds
>>29027185
>you are not dumb, you just lazzy.
[b]I HATE U MOM, FOR THESE SHITTY GENES[/b]
>>29032538
>trying to use bbcode on 4chan
>>29032530
Dude I never wanted to fuck her. She was older than me. But she used to say it a lot. I would never fuck a girl
>>29032427
This chad had fucked 36 girls and his gf knew it.
>>29027273
This is the best pepe in my opinion, there' something unsettling about how he's standing in the middle of the image.
>>29033060
I always pictured him as being
wider
>>29032538
>[b][/b]
[i]Wrong autism board familia[/i]
>>29032658desu his assumption that that's how you bold wasn't very far off base
>>29033255
Oh god 2 Bee onnest is replaced with day soo
>You're suicidal? why not go on an adventure if you don't care about dying? XD
>>29033301
To be fair, that makes perfect sense. Just do something extraordinary, and it doesn't even matter if you die because you wanted that anyway.
>>29033301
Seriously, what do you have to lose? If you're not an adventurer you might consider to build a ultra-beta internet persona and shoot some people before dying, this way we'll become scary again.
>>29033301
>suicidal? why not go on an adventure
Seems like a nice idea
I was rooming with my Stacy cousin last week. She likes talking to me about her relationship(s). She literally told me how she is still having sex with her "loser poser ex-bf who has no future". She also has 2 betas who she is keeping as options for the future because they have great degrees ( one medfag, one lawfag ) but are "not showy enough". She has them help her with homework mostly.
The meme is real, guys.
Maybe you should listen to some of the advice and stop going out of your way to feel sorry for yourself and wallow in the squalor of self pity.
>>29033588
I wish I could just shove my foot down the throats of people like this. How does she not disgust you enough for you to keep talking to her.
>>29029149
>dad keeps telling me to make friends at community college
>try with no results
>eventually quits asking if I've made any friends when I respond with variations of "no"
At least there is respite for me.
>>29033656
She is actually super nice and kind. Unfortunately her rich Chad dad and his family messed her up completely while abusing her mom, my aunt. It's strange. Her group of true friends (since childhood) consists of chubby weeaboos while she is a literal Stacy.
She can't seem to decide what kind of person she is. It's pretty sad. Like a stereotypical neglected himedere.
>>29033354
>>29033394
>what are location and money issues
Starving to death is slow and agonizing. I don't expect gutter trash normals to understand just how limited "adventuring" is when modern cities have effectively gotten rid of most methods to live by adventuring. It's why beggars persist.
Fuck you idealistic children.
>>29033354
>>29033394
>>29033564
>A suicidal person has the motivation to do anything, let alone go out "adventuring"
Behold the startling intellect of the average normalfag
>>29030610
They help a lot with PE though
>>29030610
Jelqing does, but if you can stick to a program for months to see actual significant gains you don't belong here anyway.
>>29032355
>>29033002
Literally what >>29032427 said. He's insecure and fucks hos instead of going for an actual relationship because of it.
>>29033301
I've actually done this before and it solved almost all my problems. I bought a one way ticket to Turkey then hitched through the middle east and central asia. Didn't care about the consequences of anything and it really changed my perspective on things.
>>29029306
this one hit home real hard, mr. anon.
my dad says this to me every other weekend, right after the routine "so, hows college? met any cute girls yet?".
>>29033636
>going out of your way
>implying it isn't their natural state
>>>/out/
>>29033966
Dafuq is a jelq?
>>29034779
basically stroking your dick in a creative way when you have a half chub that expands the blood chambers or something and makes your penis an inch or so bigger
>>29027303
>be attractive
>be a robot
What is wrong with you people? You were given literally everything you need and still fucked it up.
>>29034779
where you stretch your dick out hoping that it will magically turn into a fucking monument
>>29028192
SJW Leave
>>29033838
wasn't there some shit pic made out of some post saying exactly this? Something like the world is now your oyster or something like that? I remember that the first time I've seen it I thought it was a joke but apparently people are seriously thinking that someone that's suicidal would go out at all.
>>29034895
It doesn't really matter. Unless you are seriously good looking nothing will save you from spilling your spaghetti all over the place. Seriously even if people tell him he's handsome he isn't handsome enough to compensate for his autism.
>>29035049
That's wrong. If someone is attractive people will fall all over themselves looking to make excuses for his autism.
>>29027185
it really isnt about size nerds start working that tongue and finger game up and make em cum for real. tyrone has size but never technique.
>>29035088
No they won't. He'd have to reach a certain level of attractiveness so girls will stop giving a shit about his autism. Either that or he'll need money. Most girls only see the people that are 8/10+ everything else will still be "that guy"
>>29035049
>>29035088
This is the contradictory thinking of /r9k/.
>>29035014
I don't have the picture, but I do know what you are talking about.
But if I had to explain, I would say normies see the advice in terms of risk assessment. Normies want to do certain things (e.g Snowboarding, Traveling, fucking hookers, etc) but all those things confer significant risks. A suicidal person would (""logically"") have no risk assessment ( since dying is the goal) so the normalfag's advice is what HE would do if he had no risk assessment.
Of course, this doesn't work because depressed people see what they want as being completely out of reach. Throwing away the sense of danger won't help you become a famous artist, form a family, or escape poverty.
>>29035241
Who would have thought that a lot of people would have a lot of opinions?
>>29035266
I never understood how it could be so hard for people to understand what depression/being suicidal is like. Seriously a lot of people I've met throughout the years seriously think depression is sadness and didn't believe me that I am depressed because "you seem so happy!". Is it really that hard for people to see things from another person's point of view?
>>29028702
You're trolling right? Because no one does that.
>>29028388
>a lot of women do not like sex that much and won't care
>a lot of women
>do not like sex
>do not like sex
>do not like sex
>won't care
brurbrrbrurbrrbbBBByBFBbBFYBBRURURURURURURURURURURURURURURURHAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAMEMEMEMEEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME
>>29027960
He probably didn't ask as in "wanna have sex?" But in the sense of "Am I attractive to fuck(or date)?" Which, if they were friends as implied by the response, and she actually did find him attractive, would probably prompt a response like " mm, yeah id say so." Or another semi flirty joke-ish response. Normies will be sexual with friends all the time, even with ones who probably aren't really all that attractive. Plus, sex would not ruin a normies friendship, from my experience being assigned next to various groups of normie friends, who would carry on with doing anything they'd do with close friends as they mostly ignore the idea that other people can hear them and since I would rarely talk, mostly only if spoken too and always only if there was something I had to say that I knew I could convey reliably, they often gossip about who they have sex, who they'd like to have sex with, and who they thought should or could have sex with each other. All in a giggly, light mood. And if the implied context of the question ( as in not actually having sex with him irl, but rather if he fits the bill of someone they'd fuck generally) then if she actually thought him attractive she would have no problem saying yeah, because attractiveness (of people) is an inherently sexual thing, and calling someone attractive who you wouldn't, in the right context (while looking mostly the same), have sex with, is a lie. A somewhat tacit one, yes, but a lie all the same. They don't think they're attractive, they're probably just trying to get their nice normie points for the day by humouring an autist. The autist may also have some outfit or look that fits the "you're handsome little boy!" "Thanks mom" kinda look, which the normie will make sure to make fun of with their other normie friends later. "Oh my god, did you see what anon's wearing today?" "Oh my god yeah, it's so dorky." "I know, he looks like a cute little kindergartener or something like that." "I know right, tehehe."
>>29035501
For real. Any of you borderline underage fags reading this that are heading off to college this year, don't fall for this asexuality shit for a second.
>>29027401
Here's another well deserved (you)
>>29035049
>>29035088
elliot rodger
wasnt bad looking had money yet the autism levels where beyond repair.
>>29028192
He never said she should have sex with him, he was pointing out that she was lying. Lying is one the most defining features of the normie, they will lie to themselves and everyone around them. They convince themselves that something like telling someone that they're attractive, who they truly believe is revolting tucked back in the truthful part of their brain that isn't occupied with constantly making sure people have the best possible opinion of them, only in order to gain favor amongst other normies, is "being nice" or "respectful". The truth they won't accept is that this no better than dissing someone behind their back. A great example was that at my school they hung up a poster that read "Being nice to someone you don't like isn't being 'fake', it's being a decent human being." Which is exactly the logic normies use to justify the many facades they wear to interact with all different people. The truth is they aren't "being nice" they're just feigning acceptance, they will never be part of the lives they reserve for the people they actually socialize with. Ex: an autist might be asked if asked if they'd like to sit down with a group of friends, if they accept the normies would just have them be there and go through any social interactions in the norm. They will usually not be involved in whatever conversations are going on unless the normie was still "presenting" their "kindness" to their social group ( they would usually look over at whoever the sod is that they've spotted for a show of kindness, or the whole group might start talking about them, if the group notices the one who takes the opportunity to gain social favor will be the one who says something like " I'm going to go talk to them", if the opportunist notices independently, they will instead call attention to them directly.) *i had more to say but it was like 900 over, oops
>>29035616
>Normies will be sexual with friends all the time, even with ones who probably aren't really all that attractive. Plus, sex would not ruin a normies friendship, from my experience being assigned next to various groups of normie friends, who would carry on with doing anything they'd do with close friends as they mostly ignore the idea that other people can hear them and since I would rarely talk, mostly only if spoken too and always only if there was something I had to say that I knew I could convey reliably, they often gossip about who they have sex, who they'd like to have sex with, and who they thought should or could have sex with each other. All in a giggly, light mood.
HAVING NORMIE FRIENDS SOUNDS SO FUCKING FUN REEEEE
>>29036541
>>29035616
Here's a (you) for your blood stained fingers.
>>29036541
>all this lying
No wonder politicians are so popular. What a degenerate society.
>>29027303
that's not classic at all you piece of fucking ogre shit
>>29027185
If motion of the ocean applies to both small and large boats, large boats still win assuming motion of ocean is same for both. Small boat could only win if it had superior ocean motion to the large boat. However, large boat by virtue of being large has inherent advantage of being large and doesn't need to make up for inherent disadvantage that small boat must. So, if we assume large boat has a 20% advantage over small, and best ocean motion universally rated at 100%, then small boat can only hope to achieve 80% ocean motion quality to the large boat's potential 100%.
>>29038293
>you will never make a woman ahegao and say you're her best
>>29029271
Counting the days until I can an hero
Waiting for my old man to pass so he can die thinking one of his sons wasn't a total failure
>>29027185
I think the worst has to be
>"Women are attracted to confidence"
>just start talking to her
FUCK OFF
I cant even talk to women on Tinder, let alone in real life. I literally spent the past 3 hours thinking of how to reply to some slut and only managed to send my shitty message after tricking myself into pressing send before I could stop myself
