>Tfw going completely insane
>Tfw constant mental agony
>Tfw too broken to help myself and no one cares enough about me to help
>Tfw malnourished as fuck hungry skeleton auschwitz mode 6'4 132lbs
>Tfw Mum's a dumb bitch who's never understood the fact that I need to eat triple the amount she does do maintain a healthy weight
>Tfw only 19 and already totally fucked, no future
>Tfw 90% of my thoughts are about killing myself, the rest are disorganized paranoid delusion bullshit
>Tfw can't take this pain too much longer
How should I end it r9k?
No op
I'm in the same exact boat
My parents are insane
The first step is to move out of the house and learn to build yourselfor from nothing
You won't ever be normal, the fruit of life may be beyond reach but you can always learn to climb the tree and shake it from the branch
>>29020596
>How should I end it r9k?
You know how.
>>29020596
Could you elaborate on the delusions? I'm 18 and I feel like I'm surrounded by aliens and mind readers. I hope this is some kind of phase, I don't want to go crazy
>>29020613
I can barely function any more, my thoughts are broken and I freak out when I'm around people and honestly I don;t want to function in this world, I hate it. What am I gonna do? Get a job, be miserable, die alone. Fuck that.
>>29020647
For some fucking reason I can't let go of the thought that I'm "the chosen one"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFlsm3zqSv8
I believe that a lot of music is talking to me in particular, not all music but some. I also think that people are "inverted" and I'm supposed to tell them somehow. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgIbPzGNhIM
>>29020726
I know exactly how it sounds. I'm retarded.
>>29020726
I'm started to feel that numbers written on the walls as graffiti are telling me something, like they were made for me to decipher.
I also feel like I've been put here for a reason, to witness something great. Why else have I been born a human in this period?
I keep telling myself I'm making up these symptoms but I don't know
>>29020692
I have the same sentiment. I also just want to end it.
Tell her you need all five food groups and supplements
Tell her you're looking for a job but can't work on an empty stomach and you'll pay her back.
>>29020882
>'m started to feel that numbers written on the walls as graffiti are telling me something, like they were made for me to decipher.
Is it almost like god is trying to talk to you or some shit?
>I also feel like I've been put here for a reason, to witness something great. Why else have I been born a human in this period?
I know this feel all too well, problem is I don;t think I;m supposed to witness something great I feel like I have to do something great.
>I keep telling myself I'm making up these symptoms but I don't know
Worst part for me is I'm reminded almost daily of things that tell me I;m not just imagining things, but then I don;t know if I'm just interpreting things in a way to trick myself.
>tfw this song describes me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpKsC0YOe7c
>tfw watched zoolander 2 mid psychosis and sting made a cameo and said "most rockstars were sent to protect the chosen one"
>tfw I was thinking that before I saw the damn movie
>tfw just before my psychosis I got ridiculously into Nirvana, I "liked all their pretty songs"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbgKEjNBHqM
Why does this have to make sense to me. God fucking damn it.
>>29020948
At this point food isn't my biggest concern, it's my psychosis, I'm mostly annoyed because I think being malnourished is one of the things that led to my schizophrenia. Plus, she's really hard to talk to about anything real or important.
>>29021006
But you are the chosen one.
You must overcome this obstacle and witness the best there ever is
>>29020961
I don't know if it's God. I think I'm trapped in a simulation and I guess someone's trying to warn me through numbers. When I said witness something great I think the aliens are going to make something and then they're going to study my reaction. I can't tell how many of us are trapped in here, I think a lot of people in the background are part of the simulation.
I posted a lot about this the past few days so I probably around like an attention whore but I really don't know where else to discuss this.
>>29021016
If I am I don't fucking want to be, plus I can't believe it. I used to be a fucking atheist for fuck's sake. I didn't believe any supernatural shit or any of that sort of thing.
>>29020692
Not that anon, but just take it one step at a time. You freak out around people, fine, then find a job that doesn't involve being around people. I don't know where you are or what that means for you, but start with that and work towards moving out. If your parents make your life awful then get anything you can and rent a room, it sucks but at least you can feed yourself what you need and that'll help make you not feel like total shit. From there see goes things go and think what you want next.
After moving out and getting properly fed, what do you want?
>>29021038
Everyone is the chosen one.
We are all God.
Those who forget or don't want to accept it are the pawns of Satan.
Those of us who realize are the Warriors of God and the Heroes of Light.
>>29021031
Kind of like the matrix right? I'm starting to believe the matrix is "real" in the sense that it's a metaphor for society. This isn't how the world is supposed to be. It's like everyone knows it but they don;t want to know or something. Because I swear so many things are talking about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6w
>>29021053
You ever read any Crowley? I believe what you say is true but I'm pretty sure I'm a black brother. My ego couldn't let go when I found my true self or true will. Worst part is it still won;t let go.
>>29021048
>After moving out and getting properly fed, what do you want?
To be happy.
Problem is I think it's too late for me to ever achieve that, and I don;t know how to do it either. I don;t think I;ve ever been happy.
>then find a job that doesn't involve being around people.
I have no skills or any qualifications, so I guess night janitor is my destiny.
>>29021081
Should I read the book of law?
It's true alright anon.
I have been born multiple times so I can save this Earth.
Each time my spirit evolves and becomes stronger, I will harness this eternal energy.
>>29021067
Exactly. And that movie talks the truth. Surely there is more to life than this. Sometimes I feel that there is a crack somewhere and if I break it open I'll get out. Either that or killing myself
>>29021119
God damn it why doesn't everyone realise this shit. I try talk about this stuff to people in the real world and they look at me like I'm crazy.
>Should I read the book of law?
I haven;t read the whole thing but what I've read seemed pretty true. Far better than the bible or quran or some shit.
>>29021128
>Sometimes I feel that there is a crack somewhere and if I break it open I'll get out. Either that or killing myself
I thought I found that crack and got out, it didn't last though. Now I just think about killing myself. Maybe there's something better on the other side... I really just don;t know any more.
>>29021286
Nothing makes sense. If God is real then he is cruel for giving us this meaningless existence
>>29020596
Get on food stamps or some form of government handout you stupid fucking faggot retard. You literally have 0 reason to be upset right now about food. Unless you're some sorta 3rld world shitposter.
>>29020596
>>Tfw only 19 and already totally fucked, no future
no you're not. go see a psych and start eating properly. don't romanticize self destruction.
>>tfw malnourished as fuck hungry skeleton auschwitz mode 6'4 132lbs
fuck off to /fa/ right now they will suck your dick all day long famalam
>>29020596
Pretty easy to get extra calories bro, easier than not doing it. If you're 19 you should be able to get a bag of chips or something.
