I'm thinking about stalking a girl. I'm a pretty normal guy but I'm a bored NEET so I thought this might be fun. I just found a random girl on Twitter and she has thousands of nonsense post with no retweets or likes. I'm going to go to her apartment and give her a bag of chips because she likes that. Is this a good idea?
Pic related, it's her.
>>29005181
>pretty normal guy
>bored NEET
>thought this might be fun
lol
you're already becoming a weirdo
>>29005568
>you're already becoming a weirdo
Yeah but I figure if I'm aware that I'm being weird, it's not as weird. Like doing it ironically.
Where's Spock?
Well dude, I really gotta tell u to find a different hobby, cuz that's creepy af
>>29005588
No that makes it worse because you know what you're doing is wrong and continue to do it
>hurr durr I'm stalking a girl ironically
>>29005181
ITT: OP becomes a serial killer
Nice.
>>29005588
Have fun explaining your hipster bullshit to the police, anon.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
I't won't be fine
>>29005751
I mean, I don't actually care about her at all, so it's not really stalking, is it?
>>29005843
This is illegal?
>>29005867
>This is illegal?
What the fuck do you think?
>>29005867
No it's still stalking even if you don't care about them. And yes, stalking is illegal.
>>29005876
I don't think so. I just want to walk up to her and be like, "Hey, I know you really like this kind of chips, because I remember your tweet from March 4th, 2015, and I know you tweet about eating chips a lot, so I thought I'd give you some as a gift"
Just as a goof to freak her out. I think it would be hilarious.
No, not really. It's perfectly legal until she files a restraining order against you, or you start going through her trash or something, if you found her address using the Internet you aren't breaking any laws
>>29005919
>It's perfectly legal until she files a restraining order against you
That's what I thought, so I will just stop once she tells me to
>>29005867
I mean, I'm not a lawyer, but this is the sort of shit that can at least be grounds for a restraining order in the civilized world.
Do it once - you'll prob get told off/made to feel like a creep (which you will be at that point, to be fair). Do it multiple times and she could probably make a case for harassment and get you in trouble with the 5-0.
Not saying you'll wind up in lockup rooming with bubba, but this is a very good way to get yourself in some legal shit sort of jail.
>>29005914
Meh I'd think it's funny. Normies wouldn't.
>>29005181
I actually think that might cheer her up.
She looks kinda lonely.
Remember to style your hair and wear something nice.
>>29005974
Wouldn't I be given free food if I go to prison, though? I don't really see any downsides. I literally don't have anything better to do.
>>29005914
shell call the cops and youll be arrested you fucking idiot. no wonder youre a useless brain dead neet
>>29006014
You're also given free health benefits, education, and housing.
>>29005997
This guy gets it. I just like fucking around with normies and I don't really give a shit
>>29006014
yeah and a free assrape with your plate of sludge
>>29005937
>give her the chips
>her eyes get all big and teary
>"Oh anon, you do care!"
>She hugs you
>"I knew you would love me back one day! I knew we were soulmates! Oh my sweet anon, I'll NEVER let you out of my sight!!!"
>>29006041
>yeah and a free assrape with your plate of sludge
Good, I will finally lose my virginity too
I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner
>>29006041
You're already assraped in the the real world if you don't even have the balls to give a girl a bag of chips.
Do it OP don't be a faggot normie.
This is a good idea, especially if you can inconspicuously record your encounter with her.
>>29005181
>she has thousands of nonsense post with no retweets or likes
It's a bot.
You're stalking a fucking Twitter bot.
I think this is some kind of technological milestone or something.
>>29006098
I'm not retarded or technologically illiterate, I know it's not a bot, I was just exaggerating. I just meant she doesn't have many followers/doesn't get many retweets and all her tweets are just dumb inconsequential shit
I don't know why you guys are freaked out... Unless it was someone who seemed to have bad intentions, or I knew to have bad or creepy intentions, I would be very flattered...
I've never had anyone show interest in me, I think I would be happy to be stalked... Well actually if someone offered me free food, I might actually turn it down out of politeness if I didn't plan to give them my virginity, leading people on is bad.
>>29006170
OP here, I'll stalk you and give you chips in return for your virginity
>>29006014 >>29006064
Pros:
>Quiet time
>Structured environment
>Time for reflection/meditation/prayer
>Can finally write that novel/screenplay
>Maybe get a vocational degree or something while in the clink
>Might make some friends (though if you're white they'll prob be Aryan nation nutjobs unless you want to fight skinheads the rest of your time there)
>No excuse not to work out and get in good shape
Cons:
>high possibility of being raped
>high possibility of being stabbed/having your shit kicked in
>will further isolate you from the outside world and make you even less normal
>guaranteed racial violence
>shitty food
>comfy things are forbidden
>get screamed at by guards all day
>riots exist and are horrible
>little (if any) internet access
>when you get out you'll manage to have made yourself even less employable
>if you made friends in prison they're now liabilities - esp. if they were aforementioned ganbanger/skinhead types
Yeah. So. Not a deal I'd personally take, but it's not a nightmare unless you really fuck up and get charged with something serious.
Then again - it's pretty obvious that fucking prison isn't a good place to be so do what you do famalam
>>29006226
I live in Scandinavia so prison would probably be pretty chill
That being said I don't think there is any risk/chance of that happening over some harmless stalking
>>29006189
Thanks very much! That's really nice of you to offer.
Actually the case is, I'm stalking the guy I'm interested in, and hopefully I'll earn enough money to ask him to take my virginity soon.
Good luck in your stalking endeavors.
>>29006376
Why do you need to save up money for that? A bag of chips isn't that expensive
>>29006354
Ah. I've heard about Nordic prisons being like hotels. Apologies for my burger Bias.
Still though
>harmless
Is the most important word there. Be a weirdo if you want, just don't do anything that could even get misinterpreted as violent/dangerous.
>>29006140
Chill. I merely said that you were stalking a bot.
It's like you're participating in some kind of deranged Turing test.
>>29006481
I'm chill, I was just explaining that it was wrong, because I know what a bot looks like and this isn't one. Would have been funny if it were though, you're right
>>29006408
If he would rape me for the price of a bag of chips my dick mileage would be like 5000 by now.
I wanna save up $800 and offer to buy him all the foil Magic cards he needs for his modern deck. Maybe that's enough to convince him to have sex with me...
>>29005588
ironic or not, it's a crime and you will get in trouble if found out. As a lawyer, I highly reccomend you don't do this. Maybe message her on twitter and try to start a relationship that way if you like her.
>>29006588
>Maybe message her on twitter and try to start a relationship that way if you like her.
Nah, that is creepier, because it's so delusional
>>29005919
>>29005937
this is not true. Violation of a no contact order is a crime, but harassment and stalking are crimes in and of themselves in almost all jurisdictions.
>>29006354
oh well if you live in Scandinavia, you might as well, you can meet based Anders.
>>29006619
See that's what I thought. Glad I'm not as law-illiterate as it seemed.
[Also, one of my captchas was a prison - that's an omen right there]
Threads like these are why my friends think /r9k/ is all satire. Good job, OP.
>>29006354
Depends, at least in Sweden the ass rape still occurs, mate.
>>29006354
Also, the first mistake of any stalker, is to tell other people they are stalking. Makes it so much easier for us to find you.
>>29005181
>regularly check profiles of girls I used to be friends with or know/knew for new pictures
>don't care about them as an individual so I'm not attached or anything
>only a bored virgin
Is this considered stalking?
>>29007221
It's the starting ground to it, so in a way yes, but really no. It's at least a very low effort form of it.
>>29007281
Right. It's never escalated beyond so it's just like following any other updated fappable material imo
>>29006226
He'll get community supervision and have to piss in a cup once a month for 2 years (and pay $15 each time)
>>29007317
>imo
Quite a redundant statement, of course it is. Of course this may only stay at this state, just like others will only smoke pot.
But there those who are not content with merely grass. If you have nothing but anecdotes, you won't provide enough meat. Carry on with whatever frivolous evasion you were doing.
>>29007629
What. Sure, I have self-restraint to not let myself go any further due to the fact that the desire isn't there. I'm fine with it.Sorry about the redundancy.Nice prose, robot.
