Hi /r9k/
I tried to fight you, i tried to resist you. I told friends they were being idiots when they quoted you. I wanted it all to not be true. I wanted to have hope.
Well I'm here now. Heart just got broken. Again. I have no one to talk to about it because the people I talk to include
>The girl in question
>The guy I just learned she has a crush on
>Other people I can't tell that I had a fling with the girl because she wanted it to be secret and they know both of us.
I'm by far the weakest link. If I forced the issue I'd be the one cast out of our friend group. On some level I hope I end up dropping enough details that the issue gets forced out of my hands. I just... i just feel no hope. I'm worthless. I'll never be loved. I'm fat and ugly and boring and stupid and lazy.
" I know this sounds bad, but it was something I was doing a lot out of depression, obviously. I am less inclined to it now because I'm just not a very sexual person save for when I'm depressed. Which is actually the norm for a lot of people now that I think about it, but still."
Well yeah. That feels good to hear.
I just want to die.
>>29005099
Someone please tell me she's a whore. Tell me I'm worthless and shouldn't have had hope in the first place. Just set me free of this whole debacle.
>>29005135
well most women are not so nice and think of themselves (unless they want you), I don't know who you are, so Cant say your worth.
What I will say from being alone for a long time is if you relate your worth to other people you will forever be stuck in the cycle of low self worth and depression
>be me
>never been loved
>friend I have a crush on in suicidal
>spend 8 hours a night talking through her issues
>talk her out of suicide after dozens upon dozens of hours
>Miss a ton of school including an exam just to save her
>go from a crush to madly in love
>she tells me she doesn't love me back and that she can't feel that way for anyone but starts a fling with me anyway for validation
>it's the only time anyone's done anything sexual with me
>feel worth something for the first time in my life
I knew this was a bad idea but I did it anyway, so it's my own fault. I had just hoped so much that something would change and that the fairytale ending could happen. Of course it couldn't; I'm me.
>>29005205
I had self esteem for the first time in my life. I thought I had done a truly unambiguously good thing. Something to make the whole journey worth it. She gave the credit to trying drugs for helping her through her issues. I couldn't even do that right.
>>29005099
Get the fuck over yourself. A woman fucked you, decides she doesn't want to anymore, and now you're moping around like a cunt. This isn't the end of the world, this is an example of females being females. Go order yourself a pizza and cut your losses. God damn man. If you didn't give a shit like her, i.e. had things in your life apart from her, this would not be an issue.
>>29005305
you had self esteem because you thought she was hot shit.
Now you lost her and you feel shit hence why I mentioned the danger of puting your selfworth in the hands of other people
I've done this 1000s of times.
You need to be okay with yourself, understand why you act in certain ways, what you like, interests, dreams hobbies. Learn to accept yourself. then do things for yourself that you want and I've found that is a solid foundation for your self worth/esteem etc
I am by know means an expert, I've only recently started the self acceptance ( 9 months) but I've done more in that time than the previous 4 years and am finding it easierto be alone
>>29005388
Thank youI would if I could but cutting her out of my life would involve losing all my friends as well, so I have to stay friends.
>>29005406
I know I need to let go of her and stop caring...
But I can't. At least not yet. I liked her before I even learned she was a girl (we met online, and let me tell you that was a relief). She and the guy she got a crush on are my best friends, the ones I spend 90% of my talking with. I don't want to be the Curry Cuck but I don't see a way out of it. They're both really cool, interesting people and are some of my only friends. I had other friends but I spent the last year barely talking to them because I preferred their company instead.
>>29005863
stopping caring doesnt happen overnight, you need distance or someway to make her unattractive in your mind.
as for the other part about friends etc. I cant really help out I haven't had a friend in over a year and a half ( previous to that skype friends we would talk daily)
You are in for a rought time.
>>29005099
this is the most normalfag experience I could think of. I just don't get /r9k/, it's supposed to be nerds talking about nerd, virgin things but instead it's high school romance drama
>>29006009
>be on skype
>keep wanting to hang out with the guy she has a crush on
>[does this make me a cuck?]
I mean, I don't want to lose out on my friendships over this but acting buddy buddy with him also seems wrong. I don't suddenly hate him or anything but chatting about shit, seems inappropriate the very same day I found out. For context he has no idea about the drama and there's a 99% chance he wouldn't reciprocate so she's keeping it secret.
She is loving being the centre of the drama. Just tell her you're off to see another girl and watch her burn inside
>>29006295
I'll leave that up for you to decide
But the best and easiest route has been said by me and other anons
Cut them out ideally for ever or if you cant do that at least until you dont give a shit about her.
your on skype so why cant you just keep in contact with the guy?
>>29006361
also brings up another option
>>29006361
...literally did exactly this a week ago.
It was weird. I was KHV my entire life, then a girl got a giant crush on me and we started dating right when this whole saga started 6 months ago. I dumped her to be with the girl and now I have neither.
did you at least get to tap that ass?
